LaxBuddy21 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 What punishment? He wasnt sent to detention or anything. There's no punishment, your child does not have a god-given right to use school hours to promote his party. Everyone keeps forgetting that kid choose school property, during school hours, to promote his party. The school has every right and obligation to regulate the actions of schoolchildren who are on their property during school hours. Being exclusive has been deemed inappropriate for schoolchildren. I dont necessarily like that idea, but the law was set in order to prevent this PRECISE situation -- one child getting singled out while everyone else is invited. Think about it -- we've all not been invited to parties, but who here has ever been the ONLY person not invited to a party? That would suck, an adult would have difficulty dealing with that psychologically, never mind a 10-year old kid.As far as the lesson learned -- its a good lesson for your kid. Keep things on the DL, and you can do whatever you want. Things get out in the open, and suddenly youll be very restricted in what you can and cant do. Being told you cant have a birthday party is punishment. Its removing a privilege. How is that not a punishment? And its not the schools responsibility to make the kids like each other. Maybe that one kid is a real jerk? Maybe he is the one that needs to learn a lesson rather than be rewarded for being a jerk. Its not up to the school to say everyone has to be invited. I agree about keeping things on the DL as well though. It shouldnt be a big production made to pass out party invitations at school. Its something that should be done a recess anyway like the phone numbers he is getting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeysc23 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 What punishment? He wasnt sent to detention or anything. There's no punishment, your child does not have a god-given right to use school hours to promote his party. Everyone keeps forgetting that kid choose school property, during school hours, to promote his party. The school has every right and obligation to regulate the actions of schoolchildren who are on their property during school hours. Being exclusive has been deemed inappropriate for schoolchildren. I dont necessarily like that idea, but the law was set in order to prevent this PRECISE situation -- one child getting singled out while everyone else is invited. Think about it -- we've all not been invited to parties, but who here has ever been the ONLY person not invited to a party? That would suck, an adult would have difficulty dealing with that psychologically, never mind a 10-year old kid.As far as the lesson learned -- its a good lesson for your kid. Keep things on the DL, and you can do whatever you want. Things get out in the open, and suddenly youll be very restricted in what you can and cant do. Tough. It happens. We don't know if the kid was mean to everyone or something that's why he wasn't invited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sticksboi05 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I can see your point... so then.... when do you draw the line??? When he is 11 yrs old? 15 yrs old?... I think he knew that he was trying to get around the rule... as for understanding why the rule is in place, not so much... So... are you condoning that a 10 year old should not have to follow rules if it does not benefit them? Absolutely not. He should. He should be disciplined because he has to learn the right thing at some point and his father did that in the correct manner. But at 10, you're still egocentric and don't worry about what may result as a consequence of your actions. We all know the PFC, which controls that, doesn't finish developing until age 25 so he's a way off from that. I'm saying the punishment/explanation from his father should've been all that was needed and the principal is being sort of an *** in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKSkinsFan Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I'd just say to the teacher, look in this economy we can't have a birthday party including the entire class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koala Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Being told you cant have a birthday party is punishment. Its removing a privilege. But he wasnt told he cant have a birthday party. He was told he cant use school hours to hand out invitations to his party on school grounds. There's a huge difference. Lets say the party was inapproptiate for school kids, (perhaps a Rated-R movie was going to be shown). Then, i bet noone would object to the school stepping in and saying you cant promote this party on our grounds. What's the difference? Either way, you do not have a god-given right to use school hours/school property to promote anything the school doesnt agree with. The school disagrees with the idea of exclusive parties -- dont like it, tough luck, hand out the invitations on your own time, not school time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motorhead Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Ok this should do it! Son, she said, have I got a little story for you What you thought was your daddy was nothin' but a... While you were sittin' home alone at age thirteen Your real daddy was dyin', sorry you didn't see him, but I'm glad we talked... Oh I, oh, I'm still alive Hey, I, I, oh, I'm still alive Hey I, oh, I'm still alive Hey...oh... Oh, she walks slowly, across a young man's room She said I'm ready...for you I can't remember anything to this very day 'Cept the look, the look... Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare... I, I'm still alive Hey I, but, I'm still alive Hey I, boy, I'm still alive Hey I, I, I, I'm still alive, yeah Ooh yeah...yeah yeah yeah...oh...oh... Is something wrong, she said Well of course there is You're still alive, she said Oh, and do I deserve to be Is that the question And if so...if so...who answers...who answers... I, oh, I'm still alive Hey I, oh, I'm still alive Hey I, but, I'm still alive Yeah I, ooh, I'm still alive Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. So invite all the kids.I bet only 10 to 15 show up. I have been down the road.My Ex said WFT.I said "What?" And you (OP) and your son will learn something from this. You having free beer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniffler Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 We all know the PFC, which controls that, doesn't finish developing until age 25 so he's a way off from that. I wish I'd thought of that when I got arrested when I was 20.... I'm saying the punishment/explanation from his father should've been all that was needed and the principal is being sort of an *** in this situation. I agree with you on this one... however, the schools deal with this on a regular basis and while this situation should not have been handled in this way... I can understand why they did... Father approaches the school about giving out invites... School tells father the requirements... Father tells son the rules... Son disregards rules... School prohibits invites to be given out... Not only did the son disregard the schools rules...he also directly disobeyed his father... nope...now that I've thought about it...seems fair/right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motorhead Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Not only did the son disregard the schools rules...he also directly disobeyed his father... nope...now that I've thought about it...seems fair/right You are right! Give the dad this. There is a time and place this just isn't/wasn't one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoSkins561 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Ugh!!!!! I hate that people are so concerned with kids getting their feelings hurt. Everyone's a winner!! Hate it hate it HATE IT! Kids need to learn to fail, need to feel disappointment. This PC world we are living in is detrimental to those growing up in it. Exactly, we are breeding France of the future and a nation full of pansies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kuraitengai Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Tell him to ask his friends for their phone numbers and call them up after school to invite them. exactly. ask for everyones phone number individually, except for the kid he doesnt like. then call them all up after school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Back in the day, we were allowed to give out Valentines to anyone we wanted. Also, we had CHRISTMAS break in the winter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 If the child does not get the party, the school suffers no consequences for being boneheads in the first place. Yes, the child should get talked to about following school rules but I do not think the child should be punished for not inviting someone they do not like to their birthday party. That is just ridiculous! True, however kids/people do need to learn to get things changed within the context of the law. The particular rule may be (and is) ridiculous, but it's a rule. If you want it changed, go to the school board or to PTA meetings and work toward that. However, while it's still a rule, abide by it. This kid made a mistake a broke a rule. The principal and teacher are just doing what they are allowed to do within the context of that rule. The proper course of action is what the OP is pursuing...invite kids to a non-school-related party during non-school-related time. It's easy. But, for those who have posted who have the mentality that a dumb rule does not need to be followed, that's where our societal problem lies. Kids learn this at a young age and bring it with them into adulthood. They disagree with something so suddenly they sue or ***** and complain because they were caught not abiding by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeysc23 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 True, however kids/people do need to learn to get things changed within the context of the law. The particular rule may be (and is) ridiculous, but it's a rule. If you want it changed, go to the school board or to PTA meetings and work toward that. However, while it's still a rule, abide by it. This kid made a mistake a broke a rule. The principal and teacher are just doing what they are allowed to do within the context of that rule. The proper course of action is what the OP is pursuing...invite kids to a non-school-related party during non-school-related time. It's easy. But, for those who have posted who have the mentality that a dumb rule does not need to be followed, that's where our societal problem lies. Kids learn this at a young age and bring it with them into adulthood. They disagree with something so suddenly they sue or ***** and complain because they were caught not abiding by it. Wasn't this country founded on challenging dumb "rules"? Fact is the parents and kids admitted they did something wrong. Kid apologized and wanted to hang out invites again. They are 10 year olds there is going to be nothing discrete. Odds are good kids will know if they were or weren't invited. Tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 But he wasnt told he cant have a birthday party. He was told he cant use school hours to hand out invitations to his party on school grounds. There's a huge difference. Lets say the party was inapproptiate for school kids, (perhaps a Rated-R movie was going to be shown). Then, i bet noone would object to the school stepping in and saying you cant promote this party on our grounds. What's the difference? Either way, you do not have a god-given right to use school hours/school property to promote anything the school doesnt agree with. The school disagrees with the idea of exclusive parties -- dont like it, tough luck, hand out the invitations on your own time, not school time. If you cant invite your friends, how do you have a birthday party? I mean granted they are trying to work around the issue by collecting phone numbers at school but what if the school decided he cant do that either? School is the extent of a childs social network at that age. And yes, big difference in showing a rated R movie but I do not think it is the schools responsibility to step in in that case. It is the parent of each invited childs responsibility to say no. Its not like he is handing dirty magazines or something out at school. He is handing out invitations to his birthday party. Are you not allowed to give your friends things at school? No the school does not have the right to regulate this especially if its during recess. The teacher can step in and say not in class and I can understand that if it distrupts class but the school should not be able to make you invite everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 If you cant invite your friends, how do you have a birthday party? I mean granted they are trying to work around the issue by collecting phone numbers at school but what if the school decided he cant do that either? School is the extent of a childs social network at that age. And yes, big difference in showing a rated R movie but I do not think it is the schools responsibility to step in in that case. It is the parent of each invited childs responsibility to say no. Its not like he is handing dirty magazines or something out at school. He is handing out invitations to his birthday party. Are you not allowed to give your friends things at school? No the school does not have the right to regulate this especially if its during recess. The teacher can step in and say not in class and I can understand that if it distrupts class but the school should not be able to make you invite everyone. He CAN invite his friends. He just can't do it during class. He can do it after school, before school, over the phone, at soccer practice, etc. School is a big part of the social network, but it's NOT everything. This kid is learning a lesson about working around a road-block that he caused. No harm in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Wasn't this country founded on challenging dumb "rules"? Sure, it was. And our founding fathers made great sacrifice and spent countless hours molding a new establishment. When people follow through to change policies or get things formally overturned that's fine. When people just want to violate rules (dumb or not) and be given a free pass because they didn't feel like following them, that's a completely different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 He CAN invite his friends. He just can't do it during class. He can do it after school, before school, over the phone, at soccer practice, etc. School is a big part of the social network, but it's NOT everything. This kid is learning a lesson about working around a road-block that he caused. No harm in that. When I was a kid, there was no way for me to invite all my friends from school if I did not do it at school. Yea there were the few really good friends I called but other than that, everyone was at school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 How bout have a invitation for each person and their names on it and those people who you dont send them to a location where you are not having the party LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 How bout have a invitation for each person and their names on it and those people who you dont send them to a location where you are not having the party LOL Brilliant. :hysterical: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 These rules are definately over the top. I have 3 kiddos and have the same frustration. I do agree with TD on the point of following the rules even if they are stooopid. However, the administration should exercise some common sense. The punishment seems extreme. Unless he has a habit of unusually rude behavior, they should have explained how his actions were wrong, made him apologize and return the invitation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 But, for those who have posted who have the mentality that a dumb rule does not need to be followed, that's where our societal problem lies. I'd argue just the opposite. Civil Disobedience is what works to rid us of stupid rules. Should Rosa Parks have given up her seat? It was the law. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 I'd argue just the opposite. Civil Disobedience is what works to rid us of stupid rules. Should Rosa Parks have given up her seat? It was the law. Argue all you want...it's an opinion and you have every right to believe that. However, I would point out that those who truly believe in civil disobedience as a way of making a point also typically are OK with accepting the consequences of their actions. Typically they try to get arrested, in trouble, etc. to draw attention. They do not break the rules or laws and then try to talk their way out of facing the ramifications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
December90 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Option 1) Invite all but ask for an RSVP Option 2) Personalized sealed invites for every student in the class. Just pick a different date/time for the kids you don't want there:evilg: Option 3) Invite the people you know but don't do the inviting at school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxBuddy21 Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 Argue all you want...it's an opinion and you have every right to believe that. However, I would point out that those who truly believe in civil disobedience as a way of making a point also typically are OK with accepting the consequences of their actions. Typically they try to get arrested, in trouble, etc. to draw attention. They do not break the rules or laws and then try to talk their way out of facing the ramifications. Its not that he was intentionally breaking the rules to make a point. The child did something children do and the rule was broken. The father is making a point now that the rule is broken of how stupid the rule is. He told his child he was wrong so I dont see where you think this is a big deal to fight the rule? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ned Flanders Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 I think a nice game of dodgeball or smear the queer may be the remedy. PC SUX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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