chrisc0015 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Clock Management The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Clock Management. The AHC-CM main responsibility is ensuring the proper usage of timeouts in games. Secondary responsibilities include providing strategic input to playcalling decisions with the game on the line. Requirements - Ability to analyze situations quickly - Common sense ------------------------------------------------------- Associate Head Coach - Motivation The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Motivation. The AHC-M main responsibility is to light a fire under the asses of Redskins players. Requirements - Denzel Washington Snyder should hire Denzel and a team of writers, sit him on the bench and go off on players before they go out on the field... just think Remember the Titans "We'll blitz every down, don't let them cross that line of scrimmage!" ... I know I'd go out and destroy someone.... --------------------------------------------------------------- Associate Head Coach - Communications The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Communications. The AHC-C main responsibilites include handling Joe Gibbs ability to communicate with his AHCs and QB. Theh AHC-C determines when Gibbs is able/unable to communicate with others. For instance, the Redskins are winning in the 2nd half ... it is time for the AHC-C to cut off communications with the QB to ensure the Redskins continue to attack and continue to score points. Requirements - Balls - Technology Savvy ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyone else know of any Associate Head Coach openings for the Redskins? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skins4eva Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I love the idea of this thread--very creative and true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonnyRules Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Thanks for effort, but for some reason it just doesn't seem funny today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustAfan47 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'll do it for free Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@DCGoldPants Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'm laughing out loud here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tone_dubbz Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'll do it for free I'm loving your signature pic dude. Gibbs: Look, all right, not me, all right? I'm not going for it on 4 inches. Ol' Dawg: You acting like a little B**** right now...........Man, f*** that. I ain't letting that $#!+ ride. We gonna go in and smoke all these m***rf****s. I don't care who the f*** out there. Goddamn it, is you down? :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'm loving your signature pic dude. Gibbs: Look, all right, not me, all right? I'm not going for it on 4 inches. Ol' Dawg: You acting like a little B**** right now...........Man, f*** that. I ain't letting that $#!+ ride. We gonna go in and smoke all these m***rf****s. I don't care who the f*** out there. Goddamn it, is you down? :laugh: Yeah that signature is funny as hell Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisc0015 Posted November 12, 2007 Author Share Posted November 12, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Enforcement The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Enforcement. The primary responsibility of the AHC-E is to hinder the creativity and abilities of other AHCs to enforce strict guidance to Joe Gibbs' style of coaching. We're looking for a proactive enforcer, someone who is willing to coerce our AHCs through force or threat of force to adhering to Joe Gibbs football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meek Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Job Opening: Head Coach Don't forget that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsFanAnt Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh: ............................................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SprintBomb Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Russ Grimm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'Pablo Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Gap Instructor The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Gap Instructor. The AHC-GI's main responsibility is ensuring members of the Redskins LB Corps and Secondary are at least 20 yards off the line of scrimmage at gametime. Secondary responsibilities include ensuring Brandon Lloyd's fingers are two to three inches away from the football at all times. Requirements - Bachelors Degree in Logistics or equivalent experience - Ruler Preferred - MBA in Logistics - Measuring Tape - Ability to Free-Style Poorly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatles2885 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 equirements- Denzel Washington Snyder should hire Denzel and a team of writers, sit him on the bench and go off on players before they go out on the field... just think Remember the Titans "We'll blitz every down, don't let them cross that line of scrimmage!" ... I know I'd go out and destroy someone.... not that I'm nitpicking or anything but Denzel didn't give that pep talk it was the other coach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RFK Lives Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Funny thread...it helps take the edge off a little. I keep waiting for a switch to go off with this team/coaching staff but I keep seeing the same package every week save the Lions game. Oh great, I am depressed again. I am going to start with me. I am a big part of it. What can I do to help the team? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CallMeGreen Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Funny thread...it helps take the edge off a little. I keep waiting for a switch to go off with this team/coaching staff but I keep seeing the same package every week save the Lions game. Oh great, I am depressed again. I am going to start with me. I am a big part of it. What can I do to help the team? Save your time and don't fill out the application for Assistant Head Coach - Motivation. You can apply for one of the other positions though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceDragon38 Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Ladell Betts Specialist The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Ladell Betts Specialist. The AHC-LBS main responsibility is ensuring that Ladell Betts enters the game in crucial situations and fumbles. Secondary responsibilities include putting lead on his cleats so that in first contact he immiediately gets tackled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Campbell's_da_man Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Redskins = Best NFC team for the first three quarters Joe Gibbs has this team convinced that every week, the outcome will be decided on the last play. So in keeping with the coach's lack of confidence, the team lets the losing team back in the game in the 4th quarter, to see if it was really their turn to win or not. Then when we collapse, everyone stands around with their mouths open, wondering what happened. I just wanna :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 This is funny because clock management is one of those areas where I think any fan with 10 years of Madden experience would know how to do it immediately. I know this is the height of arrogance but I honestly think I have a better feel for when to call timeouts around the two minute warning than Gibbs does. I would not have called one at 2:09 on a punt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'd like to apply for the Motivation Coach position Job Qualifications: 22 years of military motivational experience. Made uncounted number of new airman cry for mommy Don't give two ****s how much you make a year Will work your ass until you ****ing PUKE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veretax Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 You forgot the need for a Rehabilitation Therapist with specialty in working with injured hands, fingers, thumbs, and wrists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Potato Sack Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 I'd like to apply for the Motivation Coach positionJob Qualifications: 22 years of military motivational experience. Made uncounted number of new airman cry for mommy Don't give two ****s how much you make a year Will work your ass until you ****ing PUKE :applause: :applause: You're hired! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PA Skin Fan Posted November 12, 2007 Share Posted November 12, 2007 Great thread- my favorite was the AHC-C position! I was LOL on that one for a few minutes here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonard Washington Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Gap InstructorThe Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Gap Instructor. The AHC-GI's main responsibility is ensuring members of the Redskins LB Corps and Secondary are at least 20 yards off the line of scrimmage at gametime. Secondary responsibilities include ensuring Brandon Lloyd's fingers are two to three inches away from the football at all times. Requirements - Ruler Preferred - Measuring Tape :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
909997 Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 we should have hired jeff fisher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mistertim Posted November 13, 2007 Share Posted November 13, 2007 Associate Head Coach - Hamstrings/Groins The Washington Redskins are currently recruiting for the position of Associate Head Coach - Hamstrings/Groins. The AHC-H/G's main responsibilities include ensuring that Redskins players' hamstring and groin muscles are actually conditioned for game time situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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