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JLC- An Open Letter To Dan Snyder


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This is pretty funny.


An Open Letter To Dan Snyder

Okay, so I'm the last dude who should ever be asking you for a favor, but I see a little opportunity for us to do some business together. Well, actually, you would be doing all the business and I'd be at best worthy of a meager finder's fee, but hear me out.

You and I both see all of these US billionaires buying English Premier League teams (Glazer at Manchester United, Tim Hicks is on Liverpool, your boy Kraft tried to buy 'Pool first). Jerry Jones hasn't bought any clubs over there yet, so let's beat him to the punch. I've got just the club for you - my beloved Leeds United. Yeah they are horrible and haven't been in the Premiership in years, but let's look beyond that at the big picture.

Trust me, this makes sense. It's a failing team - once glorious, only about 7 years removed from the semifinals of the Champion's League (the top club competition in Europe) - dropping from the EPL to the Championship now all the way to the second-worst flight in England. All of their stars have moved on, and there is talk the club could fold/go into receivership/etc..

So let's look at the bright side.

Leeds will come much cheaper than Liverpool or Man U and have a rabid fanbase (sure, its reputation is far from pristine and the hooliganism is disgusting at times), but the club has deep roots and lots of supporters. The facility, Elland Road, is already up to the highest standards in Europe (and could easily be expanded from its 40,000 capacity, hint, hint).

For, as much as the Redskins are a marketing machine, it's all regional. Dude, go global. You can sell Leeds United merch all over the world. People buy soccer jerseys in Europe and Africa and the Middle East and the Far East. No one there even knows the Redskins exit (ex-pats aside). Ask Hicks how much Liverpool brings in in Asian markets alone.

So, how do you increase the brand, with Leeds struggling for so long? Simple. Buy some players. Here's the best news of all: There is no draft to get the way of player procurement. It's all about the Benjamins. You see a player you like - all you gotta do is buy him. There's barely even any "trades" in world soccer. Basically, every team in the world already has an internal price figure on the head of all of their players and if you make them a cash offer that meets that pricetag, the player is yours.

And how about this - you don't even need to know anything about the sport to succeed. A few years back Chelsea was flailing away and then this Russian oil baron, Roman Abramovich, buys the team, goes out and buys every top player he can get his hands on, and faster than you can say Spurrier, he broke Chelsea's 50-year rut without an EPL Championship. Now, Abramovich is one of the best known names around the world - sure, not for all the right reasons, but still - and he gets to hobnob with royalty all over the world, his team is routinely in the semis of the Champions League and, despite spending tons on salaries and transfer fees, he's raking in the cash. (Now, you can still end up clashing with coaches over there, too, as this Mourinho fiasco points too, but the upside is huge).

Want so more good news? NO SALARY CAP!!!

If you want to develop young players in your youth academy, that's great. If not, so be it. It's totally up to you.

Trust me, you become a bigwig in soccer and you can leave Tom Cruise in the dust. All the celebs will want to hang with you. Shoot, where were Tom and Katie last spring when Real Madrid clinched the La Liga title? Right inside the Bernabeu (stadium) bro, in the best seats in the house, watching Becks play his last game before heading to LA. At some point you, TomKat and Becks could maybe move on from Leeds and purchase a true world power ... but let's start here and get my boys heading back to the big time.

So, what are the drawbacks?

Well, if you think you take a beating on Redskins Insider, go ask Becks about the British tabloids. They'll savage you in ways us American media schlubs would never even consider (but trust me, just like over here, winning shuts everyone up). Oh yeah, and many fans have not taken kindly to Americans with no soccer history buying their storied clubs (but, again, just win baby and you'll be the most popular guy in Yorkshire, which is nice).

You could funnel some of the funds from the soccer team to the Redskins to help the cause back here if need be. You could use the soccer team to help market the Redskins to a more global audience and, best of all, just maybe you could bring some hardware to Elland Road.

So whatdya say? At least give it some thought. As for me, well, cash is king, but seriously, I'll settle for a gig in the Leeds PR department, grossly overpaid if at all possible (doesn't seem out of line to at least ask) where I can help restore the luster to the club one reporter at a time.

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I am from Leeds and a Leeds United fan.

Don't know whether or not this article is just a bit of fluff but Leeds would make a brilliant investment for a US billionaire wanting to buy into a "soccer club".

A few years back they were one of the biggest clubs in Europe but have hit the skids. Even now they're in the "third division" of English football they still get bigger crowds than every other club in their division, the division above them and more than half of the Premiership teams.

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^ what he said

someone needs to remind LaCanfora this is America

Actually, his point was to remind Snyder that this is the United States, and American Football limits his possibilities for granduer. Football is so much bigger than American Football, so why shouldn't Dan expand his horizons?

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It's a BLOG.

...featuring exclusive Redskins content with a direct link from the paper's website.

I wish we could stop defending this asshat.

Let him start a blog on his own website.

Hire a beat writer that is interested in covering the team.

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If I was a billionare I would certainly be swayed into creating a business relationship with someone who writes prose like this.
Never mind all of the errors that are spilt throughout this article. I guess being a professional journalist doesn't mean you know how to gather facts, take an unbiased approach, write correctly, or even edit your own work. Pity.:doh:
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