Teller Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Get the phone number to those receivers you pick up that tell you about the exhibit. Call it with your cell, just out of voice range of the exhibit, but within sight. When some dude wanders up with his girlfriend and picks up the phone, start out like the actual exhibit voice: "Since the dawn of time, man has faced epic struggles; the battle for land, the battle for resources, the battle for sheer survival. But the most difficult of all conquests might be the battle to get the wooly mammoth into bed. NO FOOL, not the one in the exhibit. The one beside you. In the blue dress. I mean seriously, you couldn't do better than that? What a disgrace you are to your pre-historic ancestors. I mean, there's Thak discovering fire, creating the wheel, and laying the foundation for society, and you're going to dishonor his memory by banging what amounts to a hairy elephant? For shame, my friend. For shame." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Go to the Hope Diamond exhibit dressed in all black, including gloves and hat/mask that covers your face. Skulk around. When security takes and interest in you and your attire, just be like "what? Its freaking cold outside!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofer Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I've heard the spy museum is hard to find. Not to mention you're not really sure what you're looking at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I've heard the spy museum is hard to find. Not to mention you're not really sure what you're looking at. Its right next to Verizon Center on F street and has a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "INTERNATIONAL SPY MUSEUM". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 At the Natural History Museum: Load up on Mexican food. I mean load up on it; burritos, nachos, tacos, refried beans, that spicy green sauce (whatever the hell it is). When the obligatory "runs" hit you, fill up the toilet. Then call for maintenance. As the guy's cleaning out the bowl, apologize for leaving a "mammoth." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moseley3 Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Its right next to Verizon Center on F street and has a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "INTERNATIONAL SPY MUSEUM".Maybe they should have posted with a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "SARCASTIC COMMENT HERE" as you obviously missed the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Its right next to Verizon Center on F street and has a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "INTERNATIONAL SPY MUSEUM". Yeah, but that's not actually the real spy museum. It's a decoy. The real spy museum is at (gasp)............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofer Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Maybe they should have posted with a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "SARCASTIC COMMENT HERE" as you obviously missed the joke. ...ot egassem detpyrcne na saw ti yllautcA Yeah, but that's not actually the real spy museum. It's a decoy. The real spy museum is at (gasp)............. Asking him to not reveal the true location. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Get a golf cart, and give a guided tour of the place. But point out the security guards and give fictitious accounts of their life stories. "And on your left is Officer Joe Snuffie. Officer Snuffie came to the Smithsonian after being kicked off the Metropolitan Police Department for forcibly sodomizing DCFD's mascot 'Smokey.' Officer Snuffie has always denied the claim...but LOOK at him!" "On your right is Officer Usama bin Alshibi. Officer bin Alshibi has twice been reprimanded by his supervisor for 'wearing an unauthorized utility belt.' Officer bin Alshibi disputed the reprimand. He still insists that his training on levels of force went from verbal persuasion, to physical persuasion, to pepper spray to massive amounts of C-4." "And finally, directly ahead, is security captain Jack Meehup. Capt. Meehup is well aware that I'm not an actual tour guide. TOUR OVER!!!!" *run like hell* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Maybe they should have posted with a big ass sign that juts out that proclaims "SARCASTIC COMMENT HERE" as you obviously missed the joke. Great 2nd post. Please ingest the cyanide pill you have been issued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Insomniac Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Great 2nd post. Please ingest the cyanide pill you have been issued. how do we know it wasn't really his third post? this being the tailgate and all......or maybe he's a part of the whole thing, and this is just a conspiracy and, i gotta go, i said too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 how do we know it wasn't really his third post? this being the tailgate and all......or maybe he's a part of the whole thing, and this is just a conspiracy and, i gotta go, i said too much. How do we know? I'd tell you, but then id have to kill you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Okay, back on topic. -tap on glass and make faces at the neanderthals. then exclaim loudly "well this sucks, I'm going back to the gorilla exhibit at the zoo" -Dress up like Custer complete with blue Union uniform, sword, etc. Walk thru Native American exhibits with one of those fake arrows thru your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Find curator at the fine art museum. Ask if he has any works by the famous butt painter from Chesterfield. .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MontanaRed Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 since you're taking a woman on a date, the natural history museum is the best choice. it's the most boring, pottery filled, woman oriented museum i've ever been to. not completely, keep in mind, it's a great museum, it just has more of the female form of interesting things. The Botanical Garden next to the Capitol is cool. The Art Gallery is pretty nice also. Avoid the Native American museum at all cost. I've been there and there is nothing there worth checking out but that's just my opinion. If you decide to go there let me know what you guys think of it. The Zoo is always a sure thing.These posts have me rolling! :laugh: But for a serious answer I agree with these two - go with Natural History or Botanical Gardens. I went to the Native American museum last week, and unless you've got a keen interest in certain tribes or Nations, I'd have to agree. The main exhibit there right now is Pacific Northwest, and there is also a floor on the Algonquian and Chesapeake Indians. I'm very interested in the Plains Indians and the Montana & Canadian tribes, and they had nothing on either. The exhibit rotates though, so I'll have to try again. Also went to Air & Space museum at Dulles - wow! really loved it, but I love aviation. Saw an awesome IMAX movie about fighter pilot training in Nevada. Really enjoyed the whole thing. They have the space shuttle Enterprise and the SR71 Blackbird, among others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Find curator at the fine art museum. Ask if he has any works by the famous butt painter from Chesterfield. :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Rent a tux and go to the Spy Museum. Tail the janitor, ducking into alcoves to stay out of sight. Knock him out, drag him into the broom closet, and steal his uniform. Unfortunately, after you do that there's not much for you to do but clean the bathrooms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgiaredskin Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 At the Natural History Museum:Load up on Mexican food. I mean load up on it; burritos, nachos, tacos, refried beans, that spicy green sauce (whatever the hell it is). When the obligatory "runs" hit you, fill up the toilet. Then call for maintenance. As the guy's cleaning out the bowl, apologize for leaving a "mammoth." :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: youse guys have me busting out :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No_Pressure Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Dont just go to the air and space museum downtown, go to the one by Dulles Airport in Va, IMO it is better, at the least there is more to look at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Rent a tux and go to the Spy Museum. Tail the janitor, ducking into alcoves to stay out of sight. Knock him out, drag him into the broom closet, and steal his uniform.Unfortunately, after you do that there's not much for you to do but clean the bathrooms. *note* Coordinate this stunt with PleaseBlitz, to ensure that you do not perform this on the same day he leaves the mammoth. ..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:youse guys have me busting out :laugh: That one i actually ripped off of H_H from the "Things to do in a Cleveland Hotel Room" thread, but it works here too. Anyone remember when the Air & Space Annex opened up by Dulles and they had people protesting the fact that the Enola Gay was on exhibit? (Yes, people were protesting an inanimate object that hadnt left the ground in 55 years :doh: ) Anyways, go there and see if anyone is still protesting. If they are, ferociously attack one. Thats it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PleaseBlitz Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Rent a tux and go to the Spy Museum. Tail the janitor, ducking into alcoves to stay out of sight. Knock him out, drag him into the broom closet, and steal his uniform.Unfortunately, after you do that there's not much for you to do but clean the bathrooms. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgiaredskin Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 That one i actually ripped off of H_H from the "Things to do in a Cleveland Hotel Room" thread, but it works here too. How very modest of you. :cool: Thanks for the mid-week laughs, guys. So needed, and still laughing. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DjTj Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Anyone remember when the Air & Space Annex opened up by Dulles and they had people protesting the fact that the Enola Gay was on exhibit? (Yes, people were protesting an inanimate object that hadnt left the ground in 55 years :doh: )Anyways, go there and see if anyone is still protesting. If they are, ferociously attack one. I was actually there on I think the anniversary of Hiroshima in 2005. Somebody threw red paint on the Enola Gay and they evacuated everyone. Luckily, it happenned just as we were on our way out, so we just went outside and headed home.I think what would really piss off those protesters is if you hopped on one of the Enola Gay's bombs and tried to ride it Dr. Strangelove style... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moseley3 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Great 2nd post. Please ingest the cyanide pill you have been issued. While my life isn't nerely as shallow as your's obviously is with your 7527 posts I do have more than 2 posts here genius, check my profile and click on my posts to see. I'm sure you lead a very productive life with 7527 posts, and I'm also certain every one was filled with great commentary such as these.:ciao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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