Love at first sight?

[redskins2redskins]

I don't believe in it. I don't believe in love either, though, so you can take that with a grain of salt if you think its necessary.

Its all a sham created by Greeting Card Companies.

That's kinda sad,not believing in love at all.

I've been burnt more times then I care to think about but I still believe in it.

Maybe one day I'll get it right.

[Destino]

I don't believe in love at first sight. I think there can be a strong connection immediately though.

[CHUBAKAH]

People who say they've experienced love at first sight, or know people that have experienced it, are simply examples of people who've stayed together past the initial three stages of attraction.

TBH I did go back yesterday and read the entire thing this time.

Again, way to scientific for me.

Love is an emotion, and what causes them I could really care less about.

Call me a hopeless romantic, I want to believe it does exist, and from what I have seen others in this thread tell all of us, seems it must.

:2cents:

[Monte51Coleman]

I'd be curious to know how many of those do believe in Love at 1st sight are married vs. those that do not believe.

Guilty.

[TheKurp]

TBH I did go back yesterday and read the entire thing this time.

Again, way to scientific for me.

Love is an emotion, and what causes them I could really care less about.

Call me a hopeless romantic, I want to believe it does exist, and from what I have seen others in this thread tell all of us, seems it must.

:2cents:

Yes, Love is real. But Love at first sight is impossible because you can't love a person without knowing them. Love just doesn't spring from thin air. It's an emotion builit on learning everything there is to know about a person and accepting everything about them, including perceived faults. It's wanting to share your life with someone long after the levels of seratonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin have returned to their normal states.

[CandaceM23]

Yes, Love is real. But Love at first sight is impossible because you can't love a person without knowing them. Love just doesn't spring from thin air. It's an emotion builit on learning everything there is to know about a person and accepting everything about them, including perceived faults. It's wanting to share your life with someone long after the levels of seratonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin have returned to their normal states.

You had me agreeing with you until you started talking chemicals.

[CHUBAKAH]

Yes, Love is real. But Love at first sight is impossible because you can't love a person without knowing them. Love just doesn't spring from thin air. It's an emotion builit on learning everything there is to know about a person and accepting everything about them, including perceived faults. It's wanting to share your life with someone long after the levels of seratonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and vasopressin have returned to their normal states.

I again would have to disagree. My sister was born almost 6 years after I was, and I have loved her since I carried her home from the hospital. I don't recall knowing the first thing about her.

While I'm not "in love" with her, I still have loved her since day one.

So while I would agree you can not possible be "in Love" with someone at first glance, I have to still disagree that you can not love someone at "First Sight"

It sounds like you're argument is against not being "in love" with someone, which I do agree with. That does take time...

[TheKurp]

Candace,

I think it's important to know that when two people are initially attracted to each other the body releases chemicals (seratonin and dopamine) that creates euphoria. Oxytocin and vasopressin are chemicals that create a feeling of bonding and closeness and are released during sex and during childbirth.

The point is, the body will not continue to release these chemicals indefinitely when two people stay together for any length of time. People mistakenly believe they're in love when these chemicals are released by the body and have fallen out of love when they no longer have the feelings produced by these chemicals.

Love goes far deeper than the body's biological responses to attraction and when two people get this, then and only then can they make a relationship work.

[waterwagen]

Funny thing is my wife says she fell in love with me at first sight - but I don't feel the same way about her.

Funny.

I don't believe in love at first sight, though some of the stories on here are trying to sway me. Maybe I don't believe because my wife and I didn't like each other the first time we met. I thought she was a bad attitude, hippy, tomboy girl and she thought I was an overly quiet wuss. Oh how times have changed.

[Henry]

Wow Kurp. Way to throw a bucket of water on the thread.

In my case it's never happened. I don't have some cool story about a bolt of lightning hitting me when I saw my true love and then getting married a few days later or anything. My wife and I dated for 5 years before I proposed. I wanted to make darn sure what I felt wasn't fleeting infatuation. We've been married for another 10 years, and (at least in my case) we're still happy together.

However, my dad proposed to my mom 10 days after they met, on a summer cruise in the Mediterranian. She said yes, even though she was a sophmore in college with a boyfreind of four years back home in Texas and he was a 30 year-old working in the foreign service in Italy. She stayed in Italy and married him 6 months later. That was 41 years ago and they're still married.

So what do I know?

[mjah]

In 1943 or so, my grandfather was on WWII shore leave in San Fran and met my grandmother at a USO dance. Whenever the ship came back into port he'd call her up and they'd hit the town.

Apparently, once night he was incredibly blitzed and barely made it back to the ship. Two weeks later, while at sea, a buddy shoved a newspaper in his face and said, "Congratulations!" That was how my grandfather discovered that he had proposed.

A week after his ship returned to port for good at the end of the war, he and my grandmother got hitched and took off on a 2-week train voyage for the east coast.

Nice and neat.

[Ax]

Kurp ~ I read your whole blog, and as my good friend Mr. Spock would say, fascinating.

Of course my other friend, Colonel Sherman Potter would say, Horse Hockey!!

Over-analyzed comes to mind. I won't question the scientific merits of your theory. The fact is, they mean nothing to most people I would guess. It's like arguing the pros and cons of a sugar pill. They're not supposed to work either. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. And there are conflicting scientific studies that could argue either side of why they should, or shouldn't, convincingly. Just as I'm sure there are other scientific arguments/formulas different from your chosen belief.

You seem like a passionate guy. Don't waste too much time trying to understand the science of human bonding.

Sometimes a container forged from raw materials of the earth by heating it to a temperature of _____ degrees and then forming it into a shape with a bottom and evenly raised sides all around enabling it to contain an amount of H2O is simply...

...a glass of water.

Enjoy!!

[CHUBAKAH]

Kurp ~ I read your whole blog, and as my good friend Mr. Spock would say, fascinating.

Of course my other friend, Colonel Sherman Potter would say, Horse Hockey!!

Over-analyzed comes to mind. I won't question the scientific merits of your theory. The fact is, they mean nothing to most people I would guess. It's like arguing the pros and cons of a sugar pill. They're not supposed to work either. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. And there are conflicting scientific studies that could argue either side of why they should, or shouldn't, convincingly. Just as I'm sure there are other scientific arguments/formulas different from your chosen belief.

You seem like a passionate guy. Don't waste too much time trying to understand the science of human bonding.

Sometimes a container forged from raw materials of the earth by heating it to a temperature of _____ degrees and then forming it into a shape with a bottom and evenly raised sides all around enabling it to contain an amount of H2O is simply...

...a glass of water.

Enjoy!!

Gotta say, I loved this post at first sight.

I read it twice though, just to be sure.

I also enjoyed reading your stuff as well Kurp, I just don't buy in to that whole scientific thing, at least not when it comes to my feelings of love.

It kind of put a damper on the thread as well for a sec, but I am hoping someone else speaks up, because quite frankly, I find this kind of stuff just awesome.

I have so much respect for the people who have spoke up about this subject. I'd really never bought in to the whole, love at first sight theory, but I'd venture to guess that most people that have never had it happen would either.

The stories in this thread, while not that many have shown me that it does happen. It may not be that common, but these people obviously feel that it happened that way.

Pretty cool thread, if I say so myself.

[Woofer]

I think Kurp proved my point, there is no such thing as love, much less love at first sight.

Visual attraction, lust, and chemical reations, yep, that's the ticket. I do believe that some manage to go forward with that and become friends, but "true" love? no such thing.

For those of you attached people out there, when was the last time you got a nervous stomach when you know who is at the door?

When was the last time you were more concerned about how you look to youknowwho than everyone else in the room?

[Matt [Redskins Fan]]

I believe in lust at first sight. I think you need to know an awful lot more about someone before you can say you love them. It's preposterous.

[CHUBAKAH]

']........

.........

Both single huh?

That's too bad. With attitudes like that, it's no wonder.

:2cents:

[diesel22]

Agreed.

I'd venture to guess that there are more who believe that are married, than not.

Totally agree with this. Prior to meeting my girl, I honestly felt I was likely to remain single throughout my life. I had talked myself into believing that the casual relationships I was involving myself in would keep me happy. I would have said absolutely "no chance" to the love at first sight question.

My perspective has obviously changed - but my perspective on marriage has changed as well. Although I'm not currently married, I am expecting that to change withing the next 1 1/2 -- 2 yrs.

Definite coorelation there -- at least in my personal experience

[HSF]

Call me a hopeless romantic, I want to believe it does exist, and from what I have seen others in this thread tell all of us, seems it must.

:2cents:

I had no idea wookies were hopeless romantics. :laugh:

[redskins2redskins]

I think Kurp proved my point, there is no such thing as love, much less love at first sight.

Visual attraction, lust, and chemical reations, yep, that's the ticket. I do believe that some manage to go forward with that and become friends, but "true" love? no such thing.

For those of you attached people out there, when was the last time you got a nervous stomach when you know who is at the door?

When was the last time you were more concerned about how you look to youknowwho than everyone else in the room?

I just gotta disagree with you.

When I was in a 10 yr relationship,I still had the love feeling,always kissed him when he left or came in. I loved him he wasn't just a friend.

Even in my marriage I had that feeling for along time,and it wasn't physical attraction that sustained the feelings. It was a geniune love for the people. I cared about how they felt,if they were ok, etc.

And your not single either. You just must be bitter is all.

[CHUBAKAH]

I had no idea wookies were hopeless romantics. :laugh:

I guess you learn something new every day.

:flowers:

[TheKurp]

Kurp ~ I read your whole blog, and as my good friend Mr. Spock would say, fascinating.

Of course my other friend, Colonel Sherman Potter would say, Horse Hockey!!

Over-analyzed comes to mind. I won't question the scientific merits of your theory. The fact is, they mean nothing to most people I would guess. It's like arguing the pros and cons of a sugar pill. They're not supposed to work either. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. And there are conflicting scientific studies that could argue either side of why they should, or shouldn't, convincingly. Just as I'm sure there are other scientific arguments/formulas different from your chosen belief.

You seem like a passionate guy. Don't waste too much time trying to understand the science of human bonding.

Sometimes a container forged from raw materials of the earth by heating it to a temperature of _____ degrees and then forming it into a shape with a bottom and evenly raised sides all around enabling it to contain an amount of H2O is simply...

...a glass of water.

Enjoy!!

Ax,

From my perspective, knowledge is power. Knowing why I get "butterflies" when I first meet someone and then knowing why those butterflies disappear after a period of time forced me to evaluate my relationships.

Some people get it earlier than others, and then some people never get it. True love comes from the mind.

Nature's master plan depends on species' sustaining themselves through procreation. The motivation to do so comes from the release of chemicals that makes it feel good to bond and have sex. The proliferation of a species cannot happen if the gene pool becomes or remains stagnant. Thus the reason why these chemicals are released only during the initial attraction phase and not much longer after that. Testosterone in men rises in the presence of unfamiliar women and lowers in the presence of familiar women. Men and women who are together for a long time eventually lose the desire to procreate and have children inside the relationship. Yet from a purely biological standpoint, their desire to have sex with attractive strangers never wanes - assuming they're in good health.

A lasting meaningful and rewarding relationship requires intelligence and it requires a set of values. One must recognize there is value in human bonding beyond the physical and beyond the biological release of chemicals that inherently make us feel good to be with another person. When we value another person for their views, their behaviors, their feelings, and for their benevolent actions towards us - including whatever sacrifices they make on our behalf - and we bestow upon them the same in return, then we can say that we truely experience what it means to love. When another person's happiness takes priority over our own, or when making that person happy makes us happy, then we can say we are truely in love.

As far as romantic relationships are concerned, there is no difference between being "in love" and "loving" someone. People who make that distinction are simply succumbing to the rise and fall of chemicals in the body.

Being "in love" with someone requires commitment. Commitment to the idea that there is nothing of more value in this world than to find someone who does everything to make you feel special every day and for you to do to them the same in return.

Originally Posted by Woofer Magoo

I think Kurp proved my point, there is no such thing as love, much less love at first sight.

Visual attraction, lust, and chemical reations, yep, that's the ticket. I do believe that some manage to go forward with that and become friends, but "true" love? no such thing.

For those of you attached people out there, when was the last time you got a nervous stomach when you know who is at the door?

When was the last time you were more concerned about how you look to youknowwho than everyone else in the room?

Woofer Magoo,

I submit to you that you have yet to understand what love really is.

[Henry]

I think Kurp proved my point, there is no such thing as love, much less love at first sight.

Visual attraction, lust, and chemical reations, yep, that's the ticket. I do believe that some manage to go forward with that and become friends, but "true" love? no such thing.

For those of you attached people out there, when was the last time you got a nervous stomach when you know who is at the door?

When was the last time you were more concerned about how you look to youknowwho than everyone else in the room?

You didn't love your parents?

[HSF]

I guess you learn something new every day.

:flowers:

Noted!

[Mass_SkinsFan]

I think the concepts that I've taken from the thread to this point are that the phenomenom has happened to a number of people here, and others that some of us (including myself) know. However, it doesn't happen to everyone, for a number of reasons... including some people not believing in love, or people like myself who require more than just a particular physical appearance or emotional feeling to become involved in a relationship with someone.

Interesting stuff, all of it.

[Xameil]

yes I believe in it..

...had it twice actually, but with both of em, we never got our timing right. We had something string, something great, but in both cases one was already involved with someone, and we only had a brief moment....brief being a few months. Before one moved away from the other. I look back at each one and always brings a smile to my face.

As for the relationship I'm in now. It wasn't instantaneous, but it was damn close. 2nd date.