Metaphors (Merged Like the XXY chromosones in Jamie Lee Curtis)

[Larry]

(From another message board)

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country.

Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

[unsonny]

Nice Find!!!

We are dumb of dummies - I Lol'd!!!

here's my fav.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

[Darth Tater]

I like 10. Gave me a real good visual :laugh:

[roadkill]

:rotflmao: This was my favorite:

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

[Larry]

Actually, I keep thinking that

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

sounds like it came from a Spenser story.

[jrockster21]

Those are all pretty good....kind of like the Washington Posts' new definitions contest...

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=150602

[Enter Apotheosis]

Wow... that was awesome #9 and #20 had me laughing pretty hard. :thumbsup:

[dfitzo53]

I can't believe that I'm the first to point out that a lot of those are actually similes. I feel like an *******. :doh:

Seriously though, that was hilarious. :laugh:

[jrockster21]

I can't believe that I'm the first to point out that a lot of those are actually similes. I feel like an *******. :doh:

What??? :confused:

[chang]

Similes use the words "like" or "as" to compare two different objects ("She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli") while metaphors simply describe one object as another ("Her face was a perfect oval")

Been learning that every year since 5th grade

[PleaseBlitz]

First of all, that was funny was ****. Especially the one about having a vocabulary as big as like, whatever. :laugh:

I can't believe that I'm the first to point out that a lot of those are actually similes. I feel like an *******. :doh:

Seriously though, that was hilarious. :laugh:

What??? :confused:

Similes use the words "like" or "as" to compare two different objects ("She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli") while metaphors simply describe one object as another ("Her face was a perfect oval")

Been learning that every year since 5th grade

Chang gets a check plus plus. :thumbsup:

[Major Harris]

Chang gets a check plus plus. :thumbsup:

jrock gets a

0

easy to average, hard to bring up.

[jrockster21]

Similes use the words "like" or "as" to compare two different objects ("She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli") while metaphors simply describe one object as another ("Her face was a perfect oval")

Been learning that every year since 5th grade

:doh:

I can't read. I thought it said smilies, like . I know what sImilies are...:doh:

:laugh:

[chomerics]

When I read his response, I though he said smiles not similes, I think Jrock thought the same

[chomerics]

:doh:

I can't read. I thought it said smilies, like . I know what sImilies are...:doh:

:laugh:

haha, same post :point2sky:

[PleaseBlitz]

So what? Now we should be impressed that you know what a sImilie is, but you cant READ. :doh:

:poke:

[chang]

Chang gets a check plus plus. :thumbsup:

Hooray! chang goto college!!

[rincewind]

A co-worker just sent me this, I thought it was pretty funny. Thing is - most high school students, unfortunately, aren't as clever in their writing as these examples:

Every year, English teachers from across the country

can submit their collections of actual analogies and

metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts

are published each year to the amusement of teachers

across the country. Here are last year's winners.....

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had

its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and

breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without

Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from

experience, like a guy who went blind because he

looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes

with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country

speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking

at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a

pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli,

and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that

sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had

disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as

a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly

surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond

exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like

a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole

scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're

on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at

7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair

after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like

maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed

lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other

like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at

6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka

at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with

picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two

hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob

informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a

steel trap, only one that had been left out so long,

it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.

But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you

get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical

lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually

lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and

extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a

fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing

kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought

he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing

up.

[CoachingWinsChampionships]

Already been done-- good stuff tho.

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=156953&highlight=english+teachers

Oh, and it was pointed out in the thread that I linked to that most of these are actually similies, not metaphors.

[Cdowwe]

Even if it was already done...funny stuff, I missed it hte first time

[rincewind]

Already been done-- good stuff tho.

http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=156953&highlight=english+teachers

Oh, and it was pointed out in the thread that I linked to that most of these are actually similies, not metaphors.

Search is not always my friend. :mad:

[The Evil Genius]

This thread title is a winner too

[iheartskins]

This thread title is a winner too

Don't forget to tip your moderators.

[The Sisko]

jrock gets a

0

easy to average, hard to bring up.

:laugh::laugh: That's hilarious. I've got to use that one sometime.