halter91 Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the Least Evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners. Darwin Award Winners: 1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked! And now, the honorable mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved. 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape. 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd had in years. # 4 is my favorite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
codeorama Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 LOL... #4 is my favorite too.... That's amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrongMad Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I liked #6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 I'm for #10, talk about leaving a bad taste in your mouth :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E-Dog Night Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by chomerics I'm for #10, talk about leaving a bad taste in your mouth :laugh: That guy has a real potty mouth... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Um, I think some of those are 20 years old. (And urban legends, IIR). And, to receive the Darwin award, the idiot has to be removed from the gene pool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Larry Um, I think some of those are 20 years old. (And urban legends, IIR). And, to receive the Darwin award, the idiot has to be removed from the gene pool. I thought only the winner had to be dead? aren't the runner ups allowed to still be alive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsForLife260 Posted June 23, 2005 Share Posted June 23, 2005 Can i ask a random question? What happend to the extreme skins awards we voted for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallsux Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/ The newest ones are out! These are great. I read one last night that I can't find now about drunk student & some of his friends at a golf course & apparently, upon losing a bet, decided to wash his...balls with a ball washer. :puke: is wrong with people? :laugh: Anyway, thought I would bring this subject back up. These are always fun to talk about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallsux Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Um, I think some of those are 20 years old. (And urban legends, IIR). And, to receive the Darwin award, the idiot has to be removed from the gene pool. Apparently, that's not necessarily true. If the person injures themself stupidly enough (and probably a lack of stupid deaths) will help someone win the award, even if they don't die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 haha all were pretty funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/The newest ones are out! These are great. I read one last night that I can't find now about drunk student & some of his friends at a golf course & apparently, upon losing a bet, decided to wash his...balls with a ball washer. :puke: is wrong with people? :laugh: Anyway, thought I would bring this subject back up. These are always fun to talk about! Oh, you ****!! That is the worst mental image I've ever had!! :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jrockster21 Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Apparently, that's not necessarily true. If the person injures themself stupidly enough (and probably a lack of stupid deaths) will help someone win the award, even if they don't die. The only way you can win a darwin award is by dying OR sterilizing yourself, i.e. balls in a golf-ball washer. :puke: That's the whole point...Darwin, survival of the fittest, strengthening the gene pool... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 #4 was it. If fact this would be a great way to treat oposing team fans, at Fedex, to a complimentary ride to St. Elizebeths :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stwasm Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 AGain, folks! The gene pool is in serious need of chlorine! :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulKatcher Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 Those were great! Thanks for the laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dallsux Posted October 22, 2005 Share Posted October 22, 2005 The only way you can win a darwin award is by dying OR sterilizing yourself, i.e. balls in a golf-ball washer. :puke:That's the whole point...Darwin, survival of the fittest, strengthening the gene pool... I know. I understand the point. Maybe I misunderstood some of the stories, but it seemed to me that some of the candidates for a Darwin Award are still alive. In fact, I remember reading one last night that even stated that they were aware that they were breaking their own rules. I don't remember which one it was, because I read so many. But I do seem to remember reading that on 1 or 2 of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinnedAussie Posted October 23, 2005 Share Posted October 23, 2005 If any of the contenders live to talk about it, then they receive a highly commended award. The ultimate winner should never know that he/she has even been nominated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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