gbear

When we were fostering, I read who the most frequent adopters of kids in foster care are. The foster parents are by far the most likely adopters of kids in care. The saddest part for us as we were fostering our 4th was the debate about whether we could afford to adopt him and thinking about what it meant for him if we couldn't. We did because I convinced my wife, I don't want to be 70 and think we could have done more. Now realize we had already adopted 3 medically fragile kids, and they asked us to foster a 4th...and we did. We can't do more, and the foster care system is full up pretty much everywhere. Furthermore, the state still pays the medical bills for our kids. The foster system remains linked to adoptions done well. So yes, I lump the 2 systems together. They are not the same, but... He'll, I still remember my oldest being teased in third grade when she didn't look like her mother or brother, "Haha! You're adopted!" Through her tears that night, I told her she should be proud. She wasnt just abandoned by her birth family. She was chosen twice by ours, once to foster then again to adopt. We may not be her first choice, but we will always be there for her.

Having gone the foster/care and adoption route 4 times, I can honestly say in MD, adoption only costs if you require a "healthy" infant who looks like you. When you are willing to take a child who is not perfectly healthy or is not the same race/ethnicity as you or is not an infant the costs drop because society needs you to take care of them. The biggest problems in my mind run in two categories which keep people from adopting: 1) People feel a psychological need for a biological connection. There seems to be a sense from many people they just can't care for a child who didn't come from them the way they do or would care for a child of their loins. 2) Many people who do go into foster/adoptive care feel like they are doing good and should be recognized for it, especially by those for whom they care. The simple truth is we are the least bad option for these kids, and we need to keep that perspective. We can't expect them to come out of this with a normal familial attachment to us...as if we all have great attachments to our parents whether adopted or not. The simple truth is biology does matter, and attachment issues are normal for these kids. If you can't walk down the street listening to your little kids day dreaming about going to live with their birth parents who will never yell at them while loving them always while understanding why they say these things, then you don't deserve the love they give back (in whatever form or time period). I think one of the main problems is a sense of transactional love. "I love you and took you home, so you should love me back in the way I expect." This isn't a problem unique to foster care and adoption. I just think the sense of being owed that love may be greater for some adoptive parents. I wish foster care and adoption were the norm for families, but until it is I am unsure what states wishing to do away with abortion, gay marriage and adoption, and birth control expect to have happen. How does this end without greater numbers of kids in group homes? I leave that horror story for another edition of gbear's ramblings. BTW, I say all this knowing nobody should foster or adopt who will not be fulfilled doing so. The same reasons to abort/avoid having kids hold true for reasons not to adopt.

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/loans/student-loans/student-loan-debt Student loan default Student loan default happens after a period of missed payments. Most federal student loans enter default after roughly 270 days (or nine months) past due. Private student loans typically enter default after three missed payments (typically three months), but it can happen as soon as after one missed payment. Below are the most recent cohort default rates among student loan borrowers who default within the next couple of years after entering repayment. • Public non-profit colleges: 9.3% • Private non-profit colleges: 6.7% • Private for-profit schools: 14.7% • Foreign schools: 2.9% • Total default rate: 9.7% Source: Federal Student Aid Sept. 2020 What I didn't realize is Most student loans — about 92%, according to a July 2021 report by MeasureOne, an academic data firm — are owned by the U.S. Department of Education. Total federal student loan borrowers: 43.4 million. [3] Total outstanding federal student loan debt: $1.61 trillion.

As a representative of the grew up in the 70's and 80's, I find it hilarious to think there was no sexuality in the cartoons of our generation. Maybe they just missed Who Framed Rodger Rabbit and all of the Pepe Le Pew cartoons. Heck, like with violence, I think cartoons went further in the 80's when it came to presenting violence and sex.

We are enjoying Somebody Feed Phil on Netflix. It is a fun way to look at world cultures through food as this nerdy but fun guy travels around the world.

Wow, 22 years old and already a former marine. Don't people usually serve in our military longer? I feel bad for his wife and daughter.

It isnt good news, but it is not the disaster some might love to/fear to see. The quarter before was propped up by large inventory buying when supply lines were uncertain. Now the inventory is there, and they dont need to replace it right away. A better way to look at the numbers is smoothed out. There is a reason a recession isnt declared after a single economy snap shot. Now there will be those who ring the five alarm fire bell, and i am bot saying they are 100 percebt wrong. The one headline about GDP sounds scary, but one needs to look at the causes. The inventory buildup is kind of a hohum, but the decreasing economies around the world is a bigger concern for me. We cant hold up all the economies with only oir spending. That was the red flag I took from the report.

Just when we thought Moore's law might be hitting a ceiling in terms of how fast our computers will get, along comes another complete tech change. Moore's Law will live again, even if the current version understates the potential rate of change.

I go a completely different way in my head. I don't question the boost to the economy that would come from forgiving student loans. I question if we wouldn't be better off going for the bigger cause of bankruptcies, medical bills. Medical bills account for almost half of all personal bankruptcies. Just a quick google search yields this http://www.msrblog.com/business/finance/bankruptcy-definition-causes.html The politics of going after this would be seem to be better too. The "elites" go to school and end up paying for it for years or decades. Everyone gets sick. It was the reason many of us pushed for universal healthcare. Bring this whole debt thing back to the front where it should be fought. Nobody would be able to claim the forgiveness of medical debts wouldn't benefit all classes of people here in the U.S. I mean if we are going big and setting reach goals with education debt forgiveness, I say set the stretch goal a littler further and even more meaningful. Go big or go home.

Caste is a gripping read. It would definitely be amongst the banned books in state schools and libraries. Sigh...but we do have a despicable history when it comes to how we have treated Blacks in this country. I am two books into the Lightbringer series by Brent Weeks. The worst part of it has been the wait for the audio books in our library. We had the first and fifth books, but not books 2-4. When I called up and asked about it, pointing out it was a best selling series, the librarian agreed we should have the rest. She said she would push for them to be gotten and call me when/if they got them. She called me, and I went to check out book two. I was eighth in line. Grrr. Two months later I got book 2. Now in another month, I will get book 3. Still, the books have thus far been worth the wait.

I have a hard time disagreeing. I think most of the biggest companies are probably already aware of the timelines upon which they travel. If you take the 10 biggest companies at any point and then look at the odds they will still be amongst the top 10 a decade later, the odds are not good. If you look at the top 10 businesses from Fortune in 2000, 2010 and 2020 only Exxon and Walmart are there for all three. The big companies have to find a way to brand themselves in a way that allows for continuous growth. I note Disney is not on the top 10 list in any of them, but I only bring it up to show how hard it is to stay in business for decades. Here are the three top ten lists I mentioned above: 2020 2010 2000 Walmart Walmart General Motors Amazon Exxon Wal-Mart Apple Chevron Exxon Mobil CVS GE Ford Motor United Health Group Bank of America General Electric Berkshire Hathaway Conoco Phillips Intl. Business Machines Mckesson AT&T Citigroup AmerisourceBergen Ford Motor AT&T Alphabet J.P. Morgan Altria Group Exxon Mobil Hewlett Packard Boeing Now look at how many of these, the very biggest of U.S. companies, are no longer with us or are a shell of what they once were. If companies like Disney aren't thinking of what they will look like in a decade, the odds grow longer for them being around in a decade. I suspect the ability to mold the areas around Disney has been a huge reason for their success in marketing Disney World through the decades. I wouldn't be surprised if they take this attack on them and their branding very seriously, assuming they are as long term market savy as they seem to be.

I had to laugh reading the Post quoting one Pentagon official saying Ukraine now has more tanks than Russia. I bet theirs don't normally get left on the side of the road for want of gas either. Of course if they do, I am sure a nice tractor will come along to claim them. Seriously though, is this battle actually turning to the point where Ukraine is expected to win? Also, what does a win look like for either side in this? I just see sorrow and misery for both sides for decades to come. Granted, some nice tractor memes might make us on the outside laugh, but for those involved, I wish I saw a potential positive outcome in the near to medium future.

I am enjoying the October Faction on Netflix. A family of vampire hunters where the teens are crazy smart and the parents hunt baddie bads is fairly entertaining.

We watched Us. I really liked the movie and thought it was much better than I expected. Now we are watching Get Out, and so far it is awesome too. We are on a bit of a scary movie binge at our house.

First we died eaater eggs. Then we did hands. What else were we supposed to do with our coolaid Easter dye?

True, people do not understand the difference between a private company/organization and a government owned/run institution. There are many things a company can do that the government is forbidden to do.

They may win over some of the parents who either don't see the need for teachers to model behavior as well as teach facts and ways of thinking. The sad truth is much of what our kids learn in school is not facts, figures and theorems. They learn how to behave and how to treat others. Ironically, I think this is the greater teaching that happens in schools. Maybe I am alone in this and think it from atop my tower where I graduated college and never stopped trying to learn more. I still tell my kids, "I don't care how fast you learn so long as you never stop trying to learn more." The first thing to learn though is how to treat others. Then it is where/how do I fit in this group. These are the two biggest things our schools teach whether they are aware of it or not. I maintain the ability to teach these things go a long long way towards our kids ability to lead lives they find fulfilling. No, those two things are not taught in school alone. It starts at home. However, there is only so much of these social skills to be learned at one's parents apron strings. Schools are the first place our kids go to learn about the rest of the world and different perspectives. Yes, these issues are probably winning political issues. Alas, I view that as a failure of others like me to be able to reach them and teach them. I was lucky enough to have teacher parents and great role model teachers (some in school and some out of it).

My family would have to move if we were in TX. I can only offer my sympathies to all those out there. May you find acceptance. The "you" here is for all the people in states and places where acceptance is denied. The denial to accept the humanity of all types hurts people on both sides of the refusal. To my mind, there is no greater Christian teaching than that simple truth. "Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" Granted, I say this as an ever questing agnostic.

I am not sure we can assume FInland or Sweden would want them in their country. Many places may desire the protection of NATO and not want nuclear proliferation. Then there is always the Not-In-My-Back-Yard issue when it comes to anything nuclear.

Well, we do have a political party that has spent years if not decades denying global warming...

So what should my R's teacher say to the class if they ask? What should my 6 year old R be expected to say? Keep in mind we regularly ask our 2 PHD psychologist friends (one clinical and one developmental) how we should handle R, and their advice is constantly let R be who R is. R will work it out over time, one way or another. We can only do harm. The important thing is to show acceptance. Do you have a problem with the teacher also accepting R and not doing harm? Does it harm the other kids to know R is R and not give him blow back? I am confused what you expect them to do differently. It seems easy in the abstract to rail against teachers who teach acceptance of a "lifestyle" with which you disagree. Sadly, it is not always a "lifestyle" choice. I say this as a parent who never wish for my child to be trans as it puts them at a much higher risk for suicide and other social hardships. However, I will support R and R's feelings if it means R gets to feel accepted in our family. In the mean time, I will push for greater social acceptance of others in that position in the hopes R will not experience the social hardship common for trans people today.

I'm with Dan on this. Treat him respectfully, As somebody raising kids historically looked down upon and hated, I hope actually hearing our stories will help put into perspective some of things people seem to reflexively hate. I will grant you I say this as a hopeless optimist raised by 2 teachers. I am so hopeless i have engaged in hours of talk about how the least objectionable abortions are the third trimester ones so vilified by the Right. I tried to do this relating stories of two women I know who had them. Both wanted kids. Both had names and plans for their unborn child when fate stepped in. One died in her, and they had to abort it or have it rot in her for a couple months. The other would have given birth to a child who knew a few breaths of pain before death. They decided they couldn't inflict that on their son and buried him after sparing him. As one of the women said to me, "you think I wanted to do this to my body for 6.5 months? If I wanted to abort I would have done it long before then!"

I have to admit, Belize has a place in my heart as my favorite vacation spot. My wife and I went to Placencia back when we dating to a place called Singing Sands Inn. I can't say enough for how beautiful it is there and how many fun eco-tourism trips can done in a visit there. I miss Belize. Also, don't mock driving in golf carts. When my grandma passed, we sold her car and golf cart. Her car had 18k miles on it, roughly half what her golf cart had. It seems a good life can be lived riding in one.

One of my favorite point brought up by Republican talking points is this idea of energy independence. What is that? Most of the inputs are commodities sold in a global market. Do you mean we should be energy independent such that none of our good are allowed to be sold out of the U.S., and we should only use what is produced/mined here? So does the government simply stop all exports of anything related to energy? I should note we are a net energy exporter as is. So what do you mean by independent? Also, I note some on here seem to view transgenderism as something no young kid should learn about in school. What do you think my R should be forced to say or do? R was born with a penis. R has insisted R is a a girl from the time he learned the parts of his body, and we are a family of 6 people dealing with different medical diagnoses. So we teach about the body really early. R has tucked his penis, wanted to cut off the penis, and just deny it exists frequently. Do we tell R not to wear dresses? What should the poor teacher tell other students if they can't talk about how it is OK to identify as a gender other than the one to which we are born? While our school and his teacher would never specifically talk about "transgender," they do talk about accepting R for being R. I can easily see how that could be labeled as teaching about transgender and/or homosexuality acceptance (since they are commonly linked in some peoples' minds). So I will come out and say it. I am for schools teaching about transgender and homosexuality acceptance. To those who think my R should be mocked, labeled or forced to live a harder life than R already has as a trans-racial adoption who has already lived through dozens of injuries including a broken neck, I think you have some serious empathy issues. I just wish more people and families like mine could feel free to come out and put a face on what others would hate. I believe it is harder to hate that which you know.

HArd to know whether to use crying emoji or laughing. I went laughing because I imagine it would be what he wanted.