I'm an A-hole and Proud of It...

This thread isn't a confession but an attempt to learn more about my fellow human beings. Let's face it, most people (cool people, at least) are a-holes on some level or another. We all have that one thing we do that makes us both attractive and repellent, that quality or reaction that inspires laughter and loathing.

So, what thing would SOMEONE say makes you a jerk but that others find endearing, erotic or just funny? Please nothing lame like, "I'm a Redskins fan" or the like.

If I had to think of one thing it's that I WILL NOT let the woman get the last word in and I don't care about 'peace in the home,' I'd rather show her I have the endurance of Prometheus and the logic of Spock.

I also have a tendency to pick exactly the thing that you shouldn't say at a given moment and say JUST THAT precisely because everyone knows that's the worst thing one could say (assuming those surrounding you are humorless or don't get the point of selecting that moment.)

So how are you an *******?

I've been told many a times that I'm an *******. At first it hurt. I don't want to be an *******. I want to be like everyone else. Eventually I learned to accept it though. I think the thing that makes me an "*******" is that I say what's on my mind regardless. If you're acting like a homo I'm gong to tell you. If a girl looks like **** I'm gonna tell her. I can't help her. I just speak the truth. It's that bad then so be it. I'm not going to lie to appease others.

Ah, but everyone else are a-holes too, ya know? In fact, if anything, they're WORSE! So don't hang your head in shame, take that mantle of a-hole and do wonderful things with it. The greatest and most interesting people in our species' history have been *******s from SOMEONE's point of view. I'm sure some people looked at George Washington and said, "Ohhhh, I'm going to turn down the presidency for life, I'm special, I'm GW. A-hole!!"

I'd have to say that one of the main things is my propensity to talk around people and incorporate inside jokes or flat-out insults about someone into the conversation right in front of them. It's a terrible thing to do... but you do it in such a way that they don't really raise an eyebrow and everyone who knows what you're talking about gets a good laugh out of it. It's great when you can get an entire conversation going that alludes to some of the misgivings of one of the people around you and have it go right over their head.

If I had to think of one thing it's that I WILL NOT let the woman get the last word in and I don't care about 'peace in the home,' I'd rather show her I have the endurance of Prometheus and the logic of Spock.

I've got a bad case of that :laugh:

For me it's always been about being right, you would think people would praise you for it. They don't, they find wood and nails and make you pay for it is what they do. They also use words against you that look like this ******, I don't know what ***** means but it hurts.

In this age being right just is not worth it.

Some keep it classy, I keep it assy.

I have a couple. One is when someone says something during a conversation that I think seems real stupid, even if it was a question they were asking me and there are others around, I will just stay silent and let their words hang in the air. I'm waiting to see if the dying echo of their numbness in the room air is enough to give awareness of how dumb it was without me having to answer it. It seems to work, especially after people get to know me and know I do that, because they'll start to break the momentary silence right after they speak with a "you *******."

The other one is if I don't want to be bothered, but I'm home, I won't answer the phone. Not even for bosses, girlfriends, or buddies. And when they are sure I'm home and they call but get no answer they'll often leave rude messages because they figure I'm "doing it."

And sometimes I'll be home and not want company, and someone will come to the door and I just won’t answer it. Later they'll ask because they’re sure I was home and I’ll say, "Yeh, always a good idea to call first in case I'm involved in something." Again, after they know me awhile and know I do this, they'll start to take it into account and/or give me grief for it.

When I've been married, or living with a woman, or when the woman I'm dating currently is over and I do it, they go nuts. They don't even know how it's possible I can do it. They are driven to have to let someone in, or at least answer it and talk to them.

The best is when I’m sitting there and I can see them through the curtains pushing the bell and I’m just looking away from whatever I’m doing and think “yup, I see you, but you can’t come in.”

One time I had just parked this big conversion van I had in my driveway and before aI got out I went to the back in the van walking between the front seats. Just then a car pulled in from the other end and this woman I knew and her daughter got out and walked up to the door of my house. I sat down on the sofa in the van and just watched through the tinted windows because I didn't want to talk to her. She must have tried and waited for over 5 full minutes. I just sat there thinking "how cool is this, I don't have to deal with her" and feeling good about how lucky that was though there was no big deal between me and her, I just wasn't in a mood to visit or talk to her.

I'm better now :cool: , but still do the no answer phone thing. :laugh:

I'm like that too (when it comes to the phone.) Too often it's the prelude to 'doing something' when I'm not down to 'do something.' Plus, I got organizing and drinking alone to be doing, dammit!

I wish I could understand that antisocial part of my personality, seeing as how I didn't use to be like that but it 'is what it is.'

when something happens that annoys or pisses me off, i have an urge to do something bad to others, whether i know them or not. example, i got into the elevator in my building this past year, and some ******* pressed every single button. so right before i got off the elevator, i pressed every single button. misery loves company

Ironically enough, everyone that's posted so far are the people I expected...Good company. Two more people I'm waiting for to reply in this thread. And yes, I'm here and a proud *******. I'll give my statement after I know the *******s have posted....... Jumbo, you've admitted...Where's the rest of the mods?

I have this penchant for being vindictive. It takes a bit for me to feel really wronged but once I do I'm going to move heaven and earth to get back at you. Yes, I'm a big believer in cutting off one's nose, no, head to spite one's face. FWIW, Medea is one of my favorite literary heroines....well she's a heroine to me anyway.

I used to think I was much smarter than the great majority of other people. Over time, life has taught me that I'm not nearly as great or as smart as I once thought I was. Unfortunately I still have a way of sometimes talking to others that implies that I still think that way.

First off, I thought we were supposed to tell stuff that made us look like *******s, yet cool at the same time.

Anywho, most of this pertains to when I was young and single. As now, I am perfect, and everybody just loves and adores me. :adoration

Conceit

Many a time during my single years, early in the conversation some girl would accusingly ask...

"A little conceited, aren't you?"

To which I'd answer, "No, I'm convinced." Later that evening, so was she.

Alpha-*******When in the presence of other *******s, I found it necessary to establish my dominance over them. I'd zero in on some ******* who was talking about someone right in front of them, without them knowing it. Then, if it was obvious that the victim could, and would, kick the hell out of the perp if he knew, I'd tell him. I would also tell him all the things the guy had been saying about him, and his mother, behind his back. Whether he actually had or not.

And if the perp was with a hot chick? Well, she was also....convinced.

Snappy/Snippy Comebacks

For example...(No charge for these)

Q:"Would you like something to drink?"

A:"Did I ask for something?"

Said immediately, and with a straight face, this gets an array of responses. Try it.

Statement:"My head hurts."

Response:"I knew you'd have trouble with it the 1st time I saw it."

They know it's funny, but their head hurts too bad to laugh...........much.

Statement:"Ever since we got married, my wife has cut me down to three pieces of ass a week."

Response:"Well, don't feel too bad. I know ten guys she cut out altogether!"

Come to think of it, I still do most of this stuff.

Well, except for the, er um, convincing of other women.

That bit of pleasure is now only enjoyed by Mrs. Ax.

Poor girl.

I know what Jumbo means. Its really easy to use logistics to avoid a lot of social semi-obligations that you just don't feel like meeting... call screening, pretending to be on the phone, saying you have to be somewhere when you don't, walking certain angles to be just far away enough so they don't start a conversation, returning calls when you know the other person can't pick up and answer...

Depending on my mood I really hate the boring small talk people try to pull. "hello how are you" its all just grunts to me. Though I can also be really good at talking about absolutely nothing for a very long time if I feel like it.

I really have no problem walking away from people that are boring me, and I think that rubs some people the wrong way so it is sometimes best to avoid the whole charade. And besides we all have friends who have some really lame hobbies that they want us to join in on... avoiding the invitation is really the most efficient way to do it sometimes.

If I had to think of one thing it's that I WILL NOT let the woman get the last word in and I don't care about 'peace in the home,' I'd rather show her I have the endurance of Prometheus and the logic of Spock.

I do that too, except with everyone

#1. I have no tolerance for stupidity... particularly from people old enough to know better.

#2. I have no tolerance for hypocrits. It's one thing to have strong convictions about certain things..... but when you're guilty of the same behavior that you criticize... your entire person loses credibility. Why have strong convictions about things that you obviously haven't thoroughly thought through? <-- those last 3 words just doesn't look right

#3. Fool me once..... I'll kill you and all your living relatives. You won't get a chance to fool me twice.

I'm an aholey because I tend to laugh and point at people who are already mad at me for something, thus making them more and more angry. I like to push them over the top into "saw red" territory so they make utter arses of themselves in front of others.

I always win in that scenario. It's a lock.

I wish we debated via video post here so I could do it too! lmao

I have been told I am an ******* from time to time. Personally I could care less.

I am brutally honest. My friends will call me with questions about just about anything to get my opinion. Is it always right ? Who knows, but at least you know I wont lie to ya. If you dont want to know dont ask.

Although there are times when I just offer up random observations of things that some people dont like. So.

I dont often take people's feelings into account, but again, dont ask me if you dont want my honest opinion.

My friends completely understand this and look forward to my takes on most subjects (or so they say).

I am fun loving and caring. I certainly dont mind admitting when I am wrong, even apologizing if need be. Hell, its just my take on it so I am allowed room for error too right ?

I never hold a grudge and cant bring myself to be aggressive unless pushed beyond most peoples limits. I can dish it out and take it. I can be sarcastic, witty, and always quick on my feet as far as a response.

I try to explain to people that I dont believe in regret. Some people totally get it, others are in awe. Well, **** them too. haha.

Proud A-Hole right here. My wife and I haven't had an (*knock on wood*) arguement. She knows I will say what I dont like then and there, I wont be such a douche as to call her out in front of others (and nor does she to me), but we can both give each other that "look", which means "tone it down a notch".

I am sure there are more examples I could present but...

And Jumbo, I dont answer my door unless there is a call in advance either, I dont have a home phone because I dont need it, and I ignore probably 90% of call that I get unless I am expecting a call.

I think what makes me an Ahole is my sarcasm. I've also been told that I'm obnoxious - but I don't like to be obnoxious.

Anyway, back to the sarcasm. A lot of people don't catch onto my sarcasm, or they don't like my sarcasm. I tend to call people out a lot, which some people don't like. Most of the time I do it because what the person is doing bugs me, but sometimes it's for a laugh. I've also found that I put people down a lot, which I'm not proud of.

I work at Busch Gardens and sometimes I like to mess with the guests, ie:

Woman is looking at hats and she knocks a few down.

At that point I'll say(somewhat loudly) "MA'AM, MA'AM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Haha, just kidding, how are you today. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Yesterday, this girl walks in with insane sunburn on her arms and legs and I look at her and say "Ma'am, would you like some Aloe? You look like you're hurting." She gave me this dumb look so I just turned away.

Also yesterday: We were at this resturant and a girl that was with us said she didn't know if she wanted water because she didn't know how it was going to be. I retort, "Well...it'll probably be wet. AND! If we're lucky, it'll be cold!" I'm still not sure what she meant by how it was going to be.

Anyone else ever get into a mood where you're just a dick - but you can't figure out why? I do that to my girlfriend every once in a while. Glad she puts up with me.

I am guilty of most of Jumbo's list,..Do you throw in the ****ed eyebrow too?

If I do not like you I will not have anything to do with you.

If I don't know you,I likely will not have anything to do with you.

Even if you are someone I like or know,a conversation will usually consist of a nod,a smile,a few grunts and ten words or less.

Despite all this people like me...I guess I need to try harder

#1. I have no tolerance for stupidity... particularly from people old enough to know better.

#2. I have no tolerance for hypocrits. It's one thing to have strong convictions about certain things..... but when you're guilty of the same behavior that you criticize... your entire person loses credibility. Why have strong convictions about things that you obviously haven't thoroughly thought through? <-- those last 3 words just doesn't look right

#3. Fool me once..... I'll kill you and all your living relatives. You won't get a chance to fool me twice.

We might be brothers from another Mother. Stupid people are the worst. Hypocrites right up there.

You are who you are, if you are ashamed of who you are, than change if needed. But otherwise wear who you are pridefully.

The one thing about me is that I can be the life of the party and have a great time. Yet my core is a very private inverted personality. I worked in the service industry for so long that my personality has adapted to be a little more out-going. Whereas my wife is that quiet private person. I think this confuses people at times.

If I don't like someone, I give them the cold shoulder. I can't even help it - I've tried to be nice to people, but it just comes off all fake. So I just ignore them and smile politely instead of telling them to shut the **** up. :laugh:

Anyone else ever get into a mood where you're just a dick - but you can't figure out why? I do that to my girlfriend every once in a while. Glad she puts up with me.

And this is the difference between being an a-hole or a dick. A dick is always a dick, but an a-hole can turn it on and off.

If I don't like someone, I give them the cold shoulder. I can't even help it - I've tried to be nice to people, but it just comes off all fake. So I just ignore them and smile politely instead of telling them to shut the **** up. :laugh:

Well damn. That whole time you were giving me the polite smile at the draft day party, I thought you were just ****faced. :laugh:

And this is the difference between being an a-hole or a dick. A dick is always a dick, but an a-hole can turn it on and off.

I think all *******s have their dick moments, I know I'm guilty. And we all know that there are only 3 types of people in this world...

I think all *******s have their dick moments, I know I'm guilty. And we all know that there are only 3 types of people in this world...

What is the third type ? Idiots ? haha.

I think ive actually started threads on several of my ******* tendancies. :laugh:

If someone is boring me, i will just get up and leave. No polite attempt to make up some bull**** excuse to extricate myself from the conversation, i just roll out in their mid-sentence.

I do not have that braincell that makes people feel bad for losers or people that got dealt a ****ty hand in life. For instance, my group of friends has this one guy that is included in everything just because he's a sad case. Basically, he's a big dumb idiot. I mean, the guy would manage to **** up making a bowl of cereal. I have no patience at all for the guy and i make it very obvious.