jenmdixon Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 In my checkered past ( my mid-20's ) I did meet men online and then ended up having 'relationships' with them. Unfortunately, the majority of them did not work out, because there are quite a few people who feel the need to hide and play mind games and not be themselves. One guy I really liked was pretty normal, but lived in Jersey (hehehe). Actually, neither one of us were ready to deal with things, so we ended it on a good note. One guy said he was divorced with no kids and was in the services....ended up after some heartache on my part that he was not divorced from the wife (who supposedly was 'cracked up' in a looney bin...) and he had a 12 year old son. Another guy that I was only friends with found ouot where I worked and where I lived (he also lived on Long Island at the time) and stalked me for a while. Now *that* was scary. Another guy and I were friends for a long time online - we both 'worked' online for the same place and would joke around a lot, battle about politics, etc.... - but when we finally met at a conference, there were *sparks*. However, he neglected to tell me that he was living with someone and she was several months pregnant with his child. Joy. (As a side note, after I picked up and moved down here from Long Island to be closer to him to try to get the relationship to another level, he dumped me, dumped the girlfriend too, and married his administrative assistant - all within 6 months. Nice, huh? Let's just say he has issues.) And those stories are just mine...I could tell you other stories of friends' experiences that would scare the &^%^%*%* out of you. On a happier front, my husband was an internet connection of sorts - we were both working for AOL and met in a mandatory we-must-bore-you-out-of-your-mind seminar. We worked in different departments that collaborated together on occasion and did a *lot* of talking in IMs about a lot of things - work, business strategy, how to better manage people, religion, politics, life...etc. etc. etc. And we grew very close - became very good friends. Then, we both realized that we were meant to be together and he spoke up - thank goodness Moral of the story? Have fun online, but be *very* cautious. Not all people are playing games, but many are, and it's real easy to get hurt...especially if you are allowing yourself to be emotionally vulnerable. Sorry to bore everyone. This thread just brought back some memories... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Jen, You sound like a woman who has the same kind of luck with men I do. Your story made me decide NOT to try the online thing. Just have to stick with men I can touch. Where can I find some guy who looks like Rock? :laugh: Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 And that really is the problem right there Jen. Have spent my fair Share of time on the net and on those dating sites, (many have their own chat service), and if I had a dime for every woman who's told me stories of the wierdo's they meet on them. Well..... :2cents: Usually what chases them away and I can't say I blame them. Not saying all us guys are weirdos out there, but seems like there's alot who are. Careful is exactly the word. Hard enough to sort through them in real life. Truth be told though, I have met a few....... interesting personalities that were women as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DSF Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I've seen like 3 girls on-line.. 2 were unbelievably attractive. The third was so ugly that it felt like I was on a date with Shar Pourdanesh. (Shudder) but 2 out of 3 aint too bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenmdixon Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 originally posted by BlondieWhere can I find some guy who looks like Rock? Blondie, I believe that there's a guy up here in NoVA that has an amazing likeness to Rock....it's stunning If I come across said feller, I'll ship him on down to you - USPS at Dulles Airport is open 24/7, so time is not a factor. Just make sure that he's back up here in time for training camp originally posted by Park City SkinsNot saying all us guys are weirdos out there, but seems like there's alot who are. .... Truth be told though, I have met a few....... interesting personalities that were women as well. PCS, definitely not *all* - just *some* guys. Then again, Extremeskins wasn't around when I was ::ahem:: cyberdating... If the 'Show Yourselves' threads are indeed accurate pics of some of youze, we have a fine looking group here I also have met some real...uh, winners...from online life of the female persuasion. Scariness is just as prevalent amongst women. ::sigh:: why can't people just be themselves? Anyway. Beware of underage is-she-a-he-or-is-he-a-she-or... types. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I 'sort of' did. I shared e-mail correspondence with a girl who was a friend of a friend for a few years. We met, fell in love and have been dating/togather for more than 4 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. S Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 ive always thought of online dating sites like match.com, however I just feel its too weird being in college and whatnot. I decided im gonna use that as a last resort when im like 25-30 and sitll dont find someone. Would rather just find someone at school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeSkin Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I've never fostered an online relationship, and I don't intend on doing so...it's cool if you just sort of fall into it like code did, but it's sinking pretty low if that's the only way you can get a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redman Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I have a different take on the head case phenomenon. I don't think there are as many out there as we think, I just think there are a hell of a lot of people with whom we simply are not compatible in an intimate relationship. And so we look like freaks to those people. I'm sure that I appeared to be a head case to a few of my ex's. So be it. No, never done the cyber thing. Seemed too much like shooting in the dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinned Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I got tired of the bar scene and joined an internet dating service just to see what it was like. The very first girl I went out with was great and we have been together 6 months now. I cannot say that this is a true representation of internet dating obviously and my girlfriend has told me some horror stories of her own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Oh, it's not the only way to get a date, but it does help increase the odds of meeting someone, who you may not meet otherewise. And agreed Jen. why the hell some people can't be themselves I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaFunky1 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I have dated a couple of women from the net. I dated one for about 6 months, long distance, and truly thought we were going to end up married. I currently am dating a younger woman, she is 24 and I'm 34, who I met online. We've been together for almost 3 years now. I'm glad I posted the ad on the site. I have other hits from that site, but nothing that ever amounted to anything. I've been offered sex on numerous occassions. One girl gave me her cell number to call her. I did not call. If she is that anxious to give it away, I'm not looking to take it. I've made some really good friends from the internet, both dating and long term friends. One of the friendships I developed from the net has become so close that they let me live in their house for 16 months while I went to college to get my degree. I still had my house and all my bills, but it was nice having a place to crash during the week while I was going to school. If I were to try an online site again for dating, I would probably try eharmony.com. It is a Christian site with a profile they require to help you find someone who is more compatible with you. Blondie, don't give up hope. The net isn't a bad place to meet men, you just have to be careful and not divulge too much information in the beginning. I don't think I gave out my last name to my current girlfriend for about 2 months. Peace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phat Hog Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Originally posted by geezings81 I have to be honest...I met a internet woman before. Dam girl had arm pit arm and a low beard. Piss me off cause in the "pic" she sent me, looked totally different...but I still ended up hittin it :doh: Damn geezings, you could have left that part out! :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Punani2 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I met my wife on AOL in 1997. I was not going to date her because she was just getting out of a 7 yr relationship and I didn't want to be the "rebound" relationship. However, I said what the hell and after a couple of weeks talking on the phone she came over to see me. Well, I know this sounds weird but as soon as I met her in person I knew we were going to get married. She later told me she felt the exact sameway. Two years later we got married and now I have two boys and life couldn't be better. :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SkinsHokie Fan Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Blondie one of my best friends is the "Arab" version of Rock. 5'7 and stocky. 20 years old, so still a lot of training you could do to him Never tried internet dating mainly because trying it in real life is hard enough and I'd rather master that art first. But by the time I do my mom will have found me a mail ordered bride Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost of Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 More than once. My "new squeeze" was met in this fashion. She's nice and she's pretty and she's honest with me, without being harsh or tactless. *Yes, the girl at the club basically disappeared after we talked a few times, for those following the updates* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Originally posted by Johnny 'Luscious' Punani I met my wife on AOL in 1997. I was not going to date her because she was just getting out of a 7 yr relationship and I didn't want to be the "rebound" relationship. However, I said what the hell and after a couple of weeks talking on the phone she came over to see me. Well, I know this sounds weird but as soon as I met her in person I knew we were going to get married. She later told me she felt the exact sameway. Two years later we got married and now I have two boys and life couldn't be better. :cool: Yeah... I'd give it another year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aREDSKIN Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Originally posted by SkinsHokie Fan Never tried internet dating mainly because trying it in real life is hard enough and I'd rather master that art first. But by the time I do my mom will have found me a mail ordered bride A sentence in dire need of punctuation. Commas are our friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riggins44 Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 When I was dating, there was no internet or chat rooms. So have no experience with online dating. Like Om, the only women met online are those here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyDave Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Blondie is just kidding She doesn't have a problem with guys sayin MaMa as long as they put OOOH in front of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenmdixon Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 dragging this back out of page 3 or 4 of threads This seemed to be along the lines of what we ended up talking about (one of the tangents, anyway), so I figured I would post it for those who may not have seen this elsewhere. ------------------------------- http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/internet/06/10/bad.dates.reut/index.html The funny odds of online dating Internet daters voicing complaints Thursday, June 10, 2004 Posted: 12:46 PM EDT (1646 GMT) NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Rick, a Web site developer from Columbus, Ohio, remembers his divorce nearly four years ago with an extra tinge of bitterness: His ex-wife remarried the same day, to a man she met via the Internet. "After we decided to split, we were still living together for awhile and she got online," Rick, 29, said. "They ended up meeting and two days after that, she was wearing his ring." Rick later tried his own luck at a Web dating forum, but said a promising flirtation with a woman turned sour after several weeks of e-mail contact. He finally met a new love online, but not at a dating site -- the unsuspecting sweetheart sent him a message to compliment a music disc he had recorded. "It's blossomed very naturally as opposed to anything else I've experienced online," he said. While the Internet has arguably increased the chances of meeting potential mates, it carries its own share of heartbreak and growing complaints about false profiles, bad behavior and ill-suited matches. A number of online daters and Internet sites are taking matters into their own hands, critiquing these services and warning their peers of the pitfalls of Web hook-ups. Some review sites, like http://www.dateseeker.net, compare the attributes of dating services, give tips for online dating safety and recommend ways to tweak a profile for better results. They distinguish between sites like Match.com or eHarmony, which purport to seek meaningful matches for the single gal and guy, versus more casual encounters at Lavalife or ethnically targeted sites like JDate for Jewish singles. Reader polls on favorite dating sites can be seen at http://www.datingsitesreviews.com. A breakdown of broad and specialty sites are listed at http://datingreviewsonline.com, while personal testimonies are collected for all to read at http://www.edatereview.com. Growing market At least 29 million Americans, or two out of five singles, used online dating services last year, and that market is expected to keep growing over the next five years. But amid the triumphant tales of e-mails that end in wedding bells, a growing number of online daters are voicing complaints. At eDateReview, some of the most popular match-up sites garner lukewarm ratings. The most frequent complaints are that there are far more men online than women and a lack of protection against sexual predators or cheating lovers, said Michael Kantor, an information technology project manager in Arlington, Virginia, who runs the site. "Men lie about their availability, whether they have a steady girlfriend or wife, and women tend to lie mostly about their looks," Kantor said. One of 27 critiques of the site comes from a reviewer named Rich, who gives Match.com a two-star rating out of five potential stars. "I've come to this conclusion -- there are not a whole lot of good-looking women on these dating sites," he wrote. "'Average' (in a profile) means fat, 'extra pounds' means bring a defibrillator to the date." A reviewer identifying herself as Natalie closed her account at eHarmony after a match that didn't click, saying: "I'll take my chances on meeting my next date the conventional way." Online dating sites say their membership rules require honest representation and prohibit harassment or abusive behavior. Some recognize that credibility problems could harm a business estimated to grow from $398 million in 2004 to $642 million within four years, according to Jupiter Research. "We employ a lot of people that spend a lot of time reviewing the content posted on the site," said Tim Sullivan, chief executive of top dating site Match.com. "We're a brand that tends to attract people seeking a serious relationship." Sullivan said that each month, as many as 3,000 profiles are rejected right off the bat, while another 2,000 are removed because of complaints from other members of dishonesty. A 6-person "fraud and abuse" team investigates more serious breaches. Sullivan said that Match.com was testing a pilot program in Dallas this month offering members a chance to get a professional "certified" photo posted online, bearing a Match.com stamp with the date it was taken. Nate Elliott, Jupiter Research's analyst of online dating, said the grievances were just a sign of how mainstream the practice has become. "The things people do online to deceive people are the same things they do offline," Elliott said. "The point of connection is on a Web site instead of a bar or a gym." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by Park City Skins And agreed Jen. why the hell some people can't be themselves I don't know. It's interesting that we wonder why people can't be themselves, all the while posting on a message board under a handle rather than our real name (at least most of us). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indygo Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 "Men lie about their availability, whether they have a steady girlfriend or wife, and women tend to lie mostly about their looks," Kantor said. Add "and age" to what women lie about, and I think that's a good description of what those huge online dating sites are like anymore. I went out on dates with a bunch of guys I met via Internet personals back in the day when the Web didn't even exist yet. We're talking online services like Prodigy, CompuServe, and AOL when you could only email someone who used the same service you did. There was no way to post or send pictures. The personals were much like the ones in the back of the newspaper. Text-only. None of the dates led to anything, as I think the odds of dating via personals is about the same as the odds for any blind date. More misses than hits. Except that today, there are SOOOOOOOOOO many people to wade through on those services that your odds are lower of finding anything worth hanging onto. And they have, indeed, become havens for cheaters and liars. I guess people feel like they have to lie about their assets because there is so much competition now on those sites. I've been married for seven years and with my now-husband for nine years, so I haven't done any online dating since the olden days, but I've got single friends who have tried that route. The girls typically say that it's hard to find a guy who's not lying about his marital or girlfriend status or lying about what he really wants (he says relationship but is just looking for one-night entertainment), and the guys say that the women tend to lie about their ages and their looks. My two guy friends over 40 who've used Match and others say it's also very hard to weed out women who are using the dating service to try and find a money source rather than a real relationship. Also, it's much harder for guys to get responses than it is for girls. One of my and my husband's really good friends was lamenting the fact that he had a profile up at Match for a long time and didn't get many responses. I tried to tell him it's because there are a million guys there all swooping in on the girls all the time, and unless you are a GQ model, claim to have an income of at least $100K+, or have some really interesting shtick, you're not going to stand out much. We did an experiment. Posted a picture of a random girl who had similar features to me and posted my totally average profile (mid-30's, average job and income, looking for "relationship" and not just sex) on Match.com just to see how many responses my girl got. Had to take the profile down after a day and a half because she had gotten over 50 responses. How can Mr. Right get through easily when a girl is getting that many responses?? Now, in her defense, I was told she was higher on the looks scale than I am in real life, so maybe she skewed the results because of her looks. But even if you cut the responses in half or down to a third, that's still an awful lot in just a day and a half. Our friend then knew why he had contacted several women on there that he hadn't heard back from at all. (Just for the record, I responded to every one before taking down that profile, thanking them sincerely for their response but explaining that I had found someone.) As a woman, I would never sign up for one of those services today. Too many dishonest freaks in the pool and too much time to have to wade through the freaks in hopes of something good. And especially if you'd feel like you have to respond to every guy, even if just to let them know you're not interested. That would take too much time out of life. And you don't get a feel for whether you'd like somebody any better from a few online photos and profile than you would from other, less stressful venues. If I were a guy, I'd feel like I was wasting my time at a dating site, but I might sign up just for the heck of it as long as I kept my expectations low. If I really wanted to find someone online, though, I'd meet people somewhere like here and get to know them reasonably well and see where things go. I, personally, wouldn't touch Match.com and other services with a ten-foot pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by SkinsHokie Fan Blondie one of my best friends is the "Arab" version of Rock. 5'7 and stocky. 20 years old, so still a lot of training you could do to him I just this minute saw this post. How in the world did I miss it!! If he is a Skins fan, I can definitely handle a Rock type. If I can't have Rock, an almost clone will do!! Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betty32 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Originally posted by Blondie Get them young, teach them what to do. Blondie My motto exactly.....if you can't find a good man, raise one! :jk: I too, am wary of meeting anyone through the internet, but am also tired of the bar scene.....what's a girl to do.... :whoknows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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