What's your most embarassing "Missed Signs" story? (or do you never miss them)

[Califan007 The Constipated]

Saw this article and could relate to a few of the examples lol...

 

311 Obvious Hints From Girls That Guys Hilariously Failed To Notice

https://www.boredpanda.com/obvious-girl-hints-unnoticed/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic

 

 

Some of the better ones:

 

"Girl kisses me in the dark in her bedroom at her birthday party. "You should leave before we do something stupid," she whispers. I nod and leave."

 

****

 

"I was out of town, chatting to a girl at a bar. We figured out I was 13 inches taller than her. She said, "That's funny, I'm going on a date with a guy who is 13 inches taller than me tomorrow. And I'll probably **** him after." My response? "Well, that's a weird coincidence!"

I didn't figure it out until I was on a plane home."

 

****

 

"One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, "oh cool, what colour?" I sent him a pic of it and he replied with "can you put it up your butt too?". I sent him a text replying, "come over and find out" and he replied two minutes later, "nevermind, I just Googled it"

 

****

 

I had a huge crush on the girl who lived next door to me in high school. Was texting her one night, and she told me that she always wanted to be kissed in the rain. Some short time later she told me to meet her in her driveway and I said something along the lines of "What are you crazy?! It's pouring outside!"

 

****

 

"Mid-makeout session...
Me: "Do you want to ****?"
Him: "What?"
Me: "Do you want to ****?"
Him: [Pause.] "Yes."
We continued to make out. We had sex three months later. Maybe he thought it was more of a rhetorical question?"

 

****

 

"In college, I had a lot of crazy, curly hair. This girl in one of my classes started chatting me up, and said, "You have good hair. Whenever I see guy with good hair like that, I like to imagine grabbing on to it when he's going down on me."
I was all, like, "Oh, that's interesting."

 

(EDIT: I had a similar experience in college lol...absolutely nothing came from it because Imma dope)

 

****

 

Like the article says, there re 311 of these mf'ers listed, but wondered if anyone here had any similar experiences (male or female, straight or gay, whatever). One of mine that I alluded to above:

 

Go to a party at a friend's apartment in college. Some of us start watching MTV (back when they actually showed music videos), including an extremely cute, petite blond who's sitting just behind me to my left. A Journey video starts playing and when Neal Schon starts playing his solo she gets all excited and says she loves him...I look back at her when she says that and smile. She looks directly at me and says "I have a thing for guys with dark, curly hair, I think they're so sexy...they'd be good in bed" and keeps staring. I chuckle and look back at the video, completely oblivious *(spoiler alert: I have dark, curly hair lol).

 

I see her a few days later when she pulls up next to me in her convertible Porsche while I was walking on campus: "Hey! Want a ride? Get in."

Me, pointing to building across the street: "Nah, I'm just going over there."

 

2 weeks later my friend who had the party informs me that this girl (can't remember her name) was asking all about me, if I was single, was really into me. I looked back on the ride offer and the "guys with curly dark hair are sexy" comment and start shaking my head in disgust lol...never saw her again. Could have asked my friend for her contact info but I've never been that type of guy.

[TheGoodBits]

I’ve got at least two that I can think of. I was pretty stupid as a teenager. 
 

First was on a multi-day river trip at a summer camp. There were two pretty attractive young ladies, one was there with her brother and was pretty shy. The other outgoing. I showed more attention to the outgoing one, and at one point she was clearly getting irritated with me and asked in front of the shy one if I thought (shy one) was hot. She was Russian and covered in really interesting birthmarks almost like full body tattoos, which I think she was really self conscious about. But she was absolutely smoking. I didn’t figure out until much later that the blatant question from the outgoing girl was probably somewhat related to the shy one being interested in me. Whoops. 
 

Second one is better. I was probably 16. Hanging out with a friend at her house, nobody else there. I had been crushing on her a bit and we’d previously established “just friends” as a boundary. So we’re hanging out and she asks if I want to watch a movie. Puts on Wild Things. Out of nowhere she right at me and says, “sometimes I like to make out with my guy friends.” I froze, trying to process what had just been said. And then never responded with anything other than a dumb nod as an acknowledgment. We sat there and watched the movie awkwardly, then I went home afterwards. She probably thought I straight up rejected her, and that was the end of any chance I had there.
 

 

[PleaseBlitz]

Girl smoking a cigarette tells me "if someone blows smoke in your face, it means she wants to **** him."  /blows smoke in my face.

Me:  I've never heard of that before, it can't be true.

 

Ugh, she was really hot too. 

 

 

[Califan007 The Constipated]

39 minutes ago, skinsfan_1215 said:

I’ve got at least two that I can think of. I was pretty stupid as a teenager. 
 

First was on a multi-day river trip at a summer camp. There were two pretty attractive young ladies, one was there with her brother and was pretty shy. The other outgoing. I showed more attention to the outgoing one, and at one point she was clearly getting irritated with me and asked in front of the shy one if I thought (shy one) was hot. She was Russian and covered in really interesting birthmarks almost like full body tattoos, which I think she was really self conscious about. But she was absolutely smoking. I didn’t figure out until much later that the blatant question from the outgoing girl was probably somewhat related to the shy one being interested in me. Whoops. 
 

Second one is better. I was probably 16. Hanging out with a friend at her house, nobody else there. I had been crushing on her a bit and we’d previously established “just friends” as a boundary. So we’re hanging out and she asks if I want to watch a movie. Puts on Wild Things. Out of nowhere she right at me and says, “sometimes I like to make out with my guy friends.” I froze, trying to process what had just been said. And then never responded with anything other than a dumb nod as an acknowledgment. We sat there and watched the movie awkwardly, then I went home afterwards. She probably thought I straight up rejected her, and that was the end of any chance I had there.
 

 

 

That second one was brutal lol...

[justice98]

It's not necessarily that I missed signs, I just ignored them. I was chasing after an old coworker one time and just flat didnt care that I was friend zoned.  I thought I was gonna push past it. You know how they say women know when they're gonna give a dude some, well, she decided pretty early that she wasn't gonna be open for business.  But she humored me for a while.  We went on a few dates, had a few "moments", but that’s it. 

 

I will say, the one sign I missed was we had gone on one of our handful of dates, had a very nice kiss in the parking lot, but she went home.  She called me later talking about "If we had gone upstairs, something probably woulda happened".  We kissed, she was into it, and I could tell the wheels were turning.  I was just trying to play it way too cool and not seem overly thirsty.  If I'd gave known that was THE moment and my best shot, I surely woulda played it differently.  

 

Suffice it to say I moved the needle a little, but we weren't really compatible.  Both her friends and mine told me to give it up, but I was not to be deterred.  Her friends wanted her to give me a shot, but they knew where her head was.  And like I say, I knew myself, I was just determined to change her mind.  She definitely played me some, but I mostly played myself. It was embarrassing because this all played out in full view of the office. It wasnt much if a secret what was going on and it was full of gossips.  I eventually did give up.  It all worked out, cuz I started dating my future wife about a year or two later.

Edited August 11, 2021 by justice98

[TheGoodBits]

1 hour ago, Califan007 said:

 

That second one was brutal lol...

****ing tell me about it haha

[The 12th Commandment]

Mid twenties living in a rental in a small mountain town between Albuquerque and Santa Fe.  Landlord, who's forty or so and plenty hot, had just kicked her low life boyfriend out and came over to burn one with me... all flirty like.    Totally didn't put it together till the next day on my way to work.  Later efforts by me didn't pan out.  Would have been so much fun. 

[Califan007 The Constipated]

5 minutes ago, KAOSkins said:

Mid twenties living in a rental in a small mountain town between Albuquerque and Santa Fe.  Landlord, who's forty or so and plenty hot, had just kicked her low life boyfriend out and came over to burn one with me... all flirty like.    Totally didn't put it together till the next day on my way to work.  Later efforts by me didn't pan out.  Would have been so much fun. 

 

Need more info, buddy lol..."All flirty" in what way?

[The 12th Commandment]

 

Honestly, it was so long ago I remember the (delayed) impression more than the specifics.

Edited August 11, 2021 by KAOSkins

[daveakl]

Ocean City Maryland, about 2006ish?

 

I moved to Raleigh out of college (2002) to take over a property management company and many of my tenants were NCSU students or grad students.  One of them, Jill, I flirted a bit with on and off but I never really thought anything of it.  

 

Two of my friends and I went to stay at Ocean City in his mom's studio place for 3 nights.  Jill asked if she and her friend could drive over from DC for a night or two to stay with us (she moved to DC around 2005).  They hung out at the beach for the day and then that night we all went out drinking.  On the way to the first place this girl I was kind of talking to called and Jill grabbed the phone to tell her I was tied up for the weekend and would call her Monday.

 

That night we spend pretty much the whole time with each other away from our friends, dancing, drinking etc.  I'm pretty sure we kissed on the dance floor at secrets but it's a bit hazy.

 

So we all go back to the studio and after her and her friend come out of the bathroom she asks me to lay with her on the sofa while she falls asleep.  Her friend tells my friends that they should all go on a walk for an hour or two.

 

So I lay there with her and fall asleep, completely oblivious that she told her friend to get everyone out of the place.

 

The next day they cleared out pretty early and my friends were laughing at me for totally missing the signs.

 

Jill went on to be a political corresponded for Fox News. lol

[China]

I don't know what signs I may have missed, because I missed them.

[NoCalMike]

The most clear signs I missed:

 

When I was in high school my parents owned a UPS store-like business and I would sometimes be in there after school.  This was the 90's and for those in my general age group might remember Shareware games?  (Basically a company that would take computer games and license out the first couple of levels on a floppy disc so that people could preview them for cheap to see if they would want to buy the full game.)  So my parents had a shareware games booth in the store and I would sometimes get free copies of these discs.

 

I was at the front desk playing commander keen (based on hazy memory) and this girl comes into the shop, probably a year or two older than me, she does her envelope buying and then attempts to strike up a conversation with me, the kind where she is trying to engage with me beyond just small talk, but my oblivious self, who was way too into the game, was kind of half paying attention giving her quick yeah, yes, no, kind of answers.  After awhile, she said "well, I look forward to seeing you again, maybe we can talk some more" and she sort of stayed there waiting for me to come to my senses and hop up from the desk.  Feeling defeated she finally exited the store and my mom immediately comes up to me and says "Michael, do you not get that she was trying to TALK-talk to you?  She was a very beautiful girl, why did you not get your head out of the game and go chat with her?"

 

Immediately, I knew I had messed up.

 

Other then that it is mostly opportunities that could have gone either way, perhaps missed signs, perhaps girls just playing games.  Who knows, sometimes it is hard to tell at that age. 

[Califan007 The Constipated]

42 minutes ago, China said:

I don't know what signs I may have missed, because I missed them.

 

No looking back with wiser eyes, huh? lol...