SnyderShrugged Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I debated with myself on where to put this thread. If its wrong, please accept my apologies. http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2012/11/21/jasmine-hates-the-washington-redskins/ My weekly, “I hate the Cowboys Opponents Rant,” where my hate for the other team is rooted in highly non-sensical reasoning and the fact that I’ve generally never even stepped foot in most of the opposing team’s cities. However, I’ve actually been to this horrific area. So, this week, I’m coming after you, Washington Redskins. First things first…Two words. “Albert Haynesworth.” Sorry, I just had to get a good laugh before I start this off… I hate the Washington Redskins because they stole the soul of RGIII. Sure, he was born in Japan, but RGIII is Texas’ truly begotten son, birthed in the manger that is Baylor’s Floyd Casey Stadium. Let it be known that all of us in Texas want better for you, RGIII. I hate the Washington Redskins because of their douche-bag tight end simply known as Chris Cooley or “Captain Chaos.” Stupid. In an interview he did back in 2011, he said he had a great time watching Tony Romo sits to pee throw three second half interceptions against the Lions. This tool said, “It’s so good. It’s amazing, amazing to watch him choke like that. It’s hilarious to watch him throw pick sixes, too, back-to-back. I loved it.” Later on in the same interview, this jackwagon also added that he would like to cage fight Tony and personally beat him. Size issues with your junk, Chris? Shut up. Shouldn’t you be worrying if you left your pottery kiln on in preparation for an upcoming craft show since one of your side jobs is being a potter? Maybe maintain your online eBay store where you sell your own autographed stuff? How about nailing the hot Redskins cheerleader you’re about to divorce? Or perhaps splitting time between your blog, “The Cooley Zone” or focusing more on your card collecting hobby, something you rediscovered while searching for YOUR OWN CARDS! He IS the Craftsman brand of tools. Top tier! I hate the Washington Redskins because their coach Mike Shanahan hates you and doesn’t care about your fantasy football teams! I’m not sure where in the NFL coach’s handbook it actually lists a chapter on “How to Choose Your Starting Running Back Right Before the Coin Toss,” but apparently, Mike Shanahan has totally crafted this skill. And it’s more annoying especially if one of those guys is on your fantasy football team! Plus, the guy’s teeth bug the crap out of me and he looks like an angry tangerine with that constant scowl on his face. more at link Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warhead36 Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Who the **** is this *****? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 Who the **** is this *****? I think a local Dallass reporter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visionary Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Who the **** is this *****? Apparently: http://dfw.cbslocal.com/personality/jasmine/ https://twitter.com/jasminesadry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 I probably should have put this in the stadium now that I have thought it through more. It looks like she does one of these pieces on each team Dallass plays edit: I wont be offended if this gets moved to the stadium. In hind sight, I messed it up putting it in TG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TD_washingtonredskins Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Mildly entertaining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Going Commando Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Meh, that wasn't very good. Just a total lack of wit and it seemed amateur. It's like a dumb message board post, not a blog entry or article for a quality publication. The worst lines were the shots she took at Cooley's genitals and his divorce. It was inappropriate for her format and it was icky. Not to mention dumb. Chris Cooley could probably whip up a better article than hers. Also, it would be a Dallas fan that judges the culinary scene of a city based on their fast food joints. ---------- Post added November-21st-2012 at 02:04 PM ---------- Apparently:http://dfw.cbslocal.com/personality/jasmine/ https://twitter.com/jasminesadry I haven't read much but I can already tell I don't like her sense of humor. It's just really bland. She's not suited for print. Maybe she's better on radio, though I'm certainly in no hurry to find out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 The funny part (at me) was that when I saw it, I didnt even realize it was supposed to be humor, I just thought she was a *****! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 The funny part (at me) was that when I saw it, I didnt even realize it was supposed to be humor, I just thought she was a *****! Observing that it's certainly possible for both statements to be true. In fact, given that she's a Cowboys fan, I'd say likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 "he looks like an angry tangerine" I don't know why but that line got a laugh out of me. lol edit: I just clicked the link and read the rest and ... wow. It's hard to believe someone would want to take credit for writing that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieselPwr44 Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Jasmine.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I thought it was kind of funny. Not pittman4two or anything, but not so bad. :whoknows: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fullnelson9999 Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 I'm not taking offense because she was ripping on the Redskins and DC, I'm taking offense because I had to read that piece of crap article without warning of how bad it was going to be. I want my 3 minutes back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCav06 Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 It's like Deadspin's "why your team sucks," except Deadspin's articles are actually well written and funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sisko Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Meh, that wasn't very good. Just a total lack of wit and it seemed amateur. It's like a dumb message board post, not a blog entry or article for a quality publication.The worst lines were the shots she took at Cooley's genitals and his divorce. It was inappropriate for her format and it was icky. Not to mention dumb. Chris Cooley could probably whip up a better article than hers. Also, it would be a Dallas fan that judges the culinary scene of a city based on their fast food joints. ---------- Post added November-21st-2012 at 02:04 PM ---------- I haven't read much but I can already tell I don't like her sense of humor. It's just really bland. She's not suited for print. Maybe she's better on radio, though I'm certainly in no hurry to find out. Well what'd you expect? A brain dead writer for brain dead fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMS Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I hate the Washington Redskins because they stole the soul of RGIII. Sure, he was born in Japan, but RGIII is Texas’ truly begotten son, birthed in the manger that is Baylor’s Floyd Casey Stadium. Let it be known that all of us in Texas want better for you, RGIII. Hell man why stop at RG3? Slingin' Sammy" Baugh Darrel Green Dexter Manley (born in Houston) Brian Orakpo, Derrick Dockery But if you are going to claim RG3 cause he went to college in Texas then we get to claim Roger Staubach, cause he played ball locally here in the DC area and truely always loved the Skins over the pokes along your same lines of logic.. More importantly though becaus he had spent so much time in this area... always got up for Skin's games and throddled us for a decade... which I'm looking forward to RG3 doing to Dallas. I hate the Washington Redskins because of their douche-bag tight end simply known as Chris Cooley or “Captain Chaos.” Chris is actually one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. One reason the skins love to celebrate Dallas's troubles is because Dallas always plays so strongly against us... It's not like picking on a team while they are down cause to us they are never really down.. So picking on them 24/7 - 365 is all fair game... while of coarse the visa versa doesn't apply cause we've been down for decades. I hate the Washington Redskins because their coach Mike Shanahan hates you and doesn’t care about your fantasy football teams! I think you are entirely wrong here... Shanahan doesn't single out the skins fans.. I think he pretty much hates everybody.. Not in an attractive, agressive, in your face, stand up way, like Mike Ditka; either... but more of a sneaky passive agressive, behind your back, superior way like Danna Carvey's church lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DCranon21 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 If you want to add more injury to insult, RG3's favorite team was the Denver Broncos. Someone needs to tell her that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMS Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 If you want to add more injury to insult, RG3's favorite team was the Denver Broncos. Someone needs to tell her that. OMG.. did he really say that? What do you think the odds are he was just playing to Shananaghan when he said that? I hate to besmerch his sterling character, but serioiusly who's favorite team could ever have been Denver? A finess offense which choked in every big game they played in? Loosing 4 superbowls in 12 years before finally winning two in elway's fairwell parade. I mean sure if you are from Denver I can see rooting for them, but I don't see how their record attracts fans from across state lines.. Of coarse if your alternative is rooting for a Texas team... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xameil Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 OMG.. did he really say that? What do you think the odds are he was just playing to Shananaghan when he said that? I hate to besmerch his sterling character, but serioiusly who's favorite team could ever have been Denver?A finess offense which choked in every big game they played in? Loosing 4 superbowls in 12 years before finally winning two in elway's fairwell parade. I mean sure if you are from Denver I can see rooting for them, but I don't see how their record attracts fans from across state lines.. Of coarse if your alternative is rooting for a Texas team... No, from what I read it was quite obvious his fav. team growing up was the Broncos because of Elway. He even rattled off all the members of the super bowl team to Shannahan. You have to remember how old Griffen is. He probably doesn't even remember the 4 losses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMS Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 No, from what I read it was quite obvious his fav. team growing up was the Broncos because of Elway. He even rattled off all the members of the super bowl team to Shannahan. You have to remember how old Griffen is. He probably doesn't even remember the 4 losses. Yeah good point... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I_Bleed_B&G Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I'd hit it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FSUSkins24 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Yeah good point... Haha, I was about to say what Xameil just said. I'm a year older than Griff and the Broncos were a powerhouse in my eyes during the impressionable years. TD and Elway? Shannon Sharpe? Neil Smith? Even that douche Romanowski. And who could forget Steve A****er? I used to love playing as them in NFL Gameday '98. I don't even think I was alive for the majority of the 4 Super Bowl losses. Totally believable that they were his favorite team. ---------- Post added November-23rd-2012 at 03:44 PM ---------- There was a very classless tone to this, and not just because she was talking bad about the Redskins. I.E. the part where she talks about the Redskins fan she roomed with taking home a guy and making oinking sounds.... now that's quality journalism :jerk: (trying to be funny or not) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warhead36 Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 I'd hit it. Maybe w/ a bat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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