pez Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Because I made my company and it's share holders a lot of money. So if the company does poorly, we can dip into your personal bank account? What is the pin number? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellis Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 I'm a Goldman Sachs CEO. I thought this would be a good thread idea since I just got my bonus and some of you don't understand why I deserve it. I know there are "experts" out there who have questions. So did you earn your job and actually know what you're doing... or are you just MOT? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skin'Em84 Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 2500 sq ft condono Will you adopt me then? I'm pretty good at cleaning, and can cook awesome stuffed jalapenos... I'll even drink all your beer so you don't become an alcoholic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 This "bonus" was it a retention bonus or a excellence bonus, a project completion bonus or the you make more than 110,000 a year so you get a bonus by default and here are stock options for reaching this point? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Most importantly, has McD5 called you lately? I hear he has some good investment advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fergasun Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Does every company use synthetic CDS the way you guys helped Greece use them? When you were trading with AIG FP how long did it take before you realized you were dealing with a bunch of idiots who didn't hedge? Or did you and the other banks collude with AIGFP in order to get a bailout on trades which were already hedged? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinnedAussie Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 OP, you do realise that after midday, the joke's on you! April 1st brings out all the jokers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 So if the company does poorly, we can dip into your personal bank account? What is the pin number? No, I will get fired. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 So did you earn your job and actually know what you're doing... or are you just MOT? Earned it. And I am HOT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 This "bonus" was it a retention bonus or a excellence bonus, a project completion bonus or the you make more than 110,000 a year so you get a bonus by default and here are stock options for reaching this point? little of all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Does every company use synthetic CDS the way you guys helped Greece use them? When you were trading with AIG FP how long did it take before you realized you were dealing with a bunch of idiots who didn't hedge? Or did you and the other banks collude with AIGFP in order to get a bailout on trades which were already hedged? 1. Most do. But Greece had a bad structure to begin with. 2. Why do you think we traded with AIG and took them for a ride. 3. Collude is a strong word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Especially for an April Fools Day, even though this is probably a serious thread, the OP seems to be really lacking a sense of humor here. BTW, don't adopt the other guy. I will totally drink more of your beer than him. I can be your Kato Kaelin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forehead Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Do you make so much money that you actually have Gold Man Sacks? Um...wait....nevermind....April Fools or something:paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Especially for an April Fools Day, even though this is probably a serious thread, the OP seems to be really lacking a sense of humor here.BTW, don't adopt the other guy. I will totally drink more of your beer than him. I can be your Kato Kaelin. Note the start date of this thread. Not a joke. Just thought some people may have legit questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 little of all A Retention bonus = paid not to leave while they port your job to another location. A Project bonus = you just finished a major project and were rewarded. An Excellence bonus = you were nominated by others and received this. A bonus due to salary means you reached a certain point to receive free money. So a little of all means your being fired shortly, but thanks for the work? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fergasun Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 1) Have you ever met Geithner or Paulson and what are they like. 2) Does it annoy you that people describe the legitimate trades you make as "bets", ie. no one ever talks about taking a mortgage as "Person X bet that they would have a job and be able to pay their mortgage." 3) How openly is the implicit guarantee of Wall St. banks talked about as you are making trades? (ie. Talib intimated that you its an open secret) 4) Is our whole financial system still leveraged like 40:1? 5) What do you think about FinReform coming down the pipeline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fergasun Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 1) How close to insolvency was the banking system in September 2008 and what has been done to fix that situation other than infuse a boatload of Billions into it? 2) When do you guys plan on shorting the market down the March lows again? 3) The financial markets, they are all one big scam where the big companies has figured out how to arbitrage everything from the little guy and over the next 20 years the retail investor is going to get little returns, right? 4) Are the rumors true about the rat-traps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 1) How close to insolvency was the banking system in September 2008 and what has been done to fix that situation other than infuse a boatload of Billions into it? 2) When do you guys plan on shorting the market down the March lows again? 3) The financial markets, they are all one big scam where the big companies has figured out how to arbitrage everything from the little guy and over the next 20 years the retail investor is going to get little returns, right? 4) Are the rumors true about the rat-traps? :secret: He isn't really the CEO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 A Retention bonus = paid not to leave while they port your job to another location.A Project bonus = you just finished a major project and were rewarded. An Excellence bonus = you were nominated by others and received this. A bonus due to salary means you reached a certain point to receive free money. So a little of all means your being fired shortly, but thanks for the work? Retention in that I had other offers but have stayed. Project because they wanted me to stay since I am doing well. Excellence see above. I also have stock options built into my salary that can increase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 1) Have you ever met Geithner or Paulson and what are they like. 2) Does it annoy you that people describe the legitimate trades you make as "bets", ie. no one ever talks about taking a mortgage as "Person X bet that they would have a job and be able to pay their mortgage." 3) How openly is the implicit guarantee of Wall St. banks talked about as you are making trades? (ie. Talib intimated that you its an open secret) 4) Is our whole financial system still leveraged like 40:1? 5) What do you think about FinReform coming down the pipeline? 1) Yes, both are great people. 2) Everything is a bet. People just cannot view it that way or the entire structure collapses. 3) It's there, but it's not discussed. 4) Infinity:1. It's all electronic. 5) Won't matter, regulations can change, just means we will do things differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 1) How close to insolvency was the banking system in September 2008 and what has been done to fix that situation other than infuse a boatload of Billions into it? 2) When do you guys plan on shorting the market down the March lows again? 3) The financial markets, they are all one big scam where the big companies has figured out how to arbitrage everything from the little guy and over the next 20 years the retail investor is going to get little returns, right? 4) Are the rumors true about the rat-traps? 1) Not as close as the press will make you believe, think Greece. 2) Let us pay back TARP first. lol 3) hahahaha 4) rumors? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted April 1, 2010 Share Posted April 1, 2010 Retention in that I had other offers but have stayed.Project because they wanted me to stay since I am doing well. Excellence see above. I also have stock options built into my salary that can increase. Were you drunk when you typed the above 6th grade drivel? Or your company has NO IDEA what they are handing out.. which would fit the topic title. might want to re-look at the definition of the bonus' again there CEO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 1, 2010 Author Share Posted April 1, 2010 Were you drunk when you typed the above 6th grade drivel? Or your company has NO IDEA what they are handing out.. which would fit the topic title. might want to re-look at the definition of the bonus' again there CEO. really? I think I am correct. Maybe you should re-look. It's not like I have a lot of time to type out a thesis on what my bonus was for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbws Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 I'm a Goldman Sachs CEO. I thought this would be a good thread idea since I just got my bonus and some of you don't understand why I deserve it. I know there are "experts" out there who have questions. How can you be "A" CEO? Isn't there only one? Wouldn't that make you "THE" CEO? BTW My son works for Goldman Sachs' IT/Database mgmt. Dep't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daveakl Posted April 2, 2010 Author Share Posted April 2, 2010 How can you be "A" CEO?Isn't there only one? Wouldn't that make you "THE" CEO? BTW My son works for Goldman Sachs' IT/Database mgmt. Dep't. I'll tell your son hi. What's his name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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