ALLWORLD Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I have to vent somewhere... This might as well be the place... Have any of you guys ever been in a relationship where, over time, you began to LOATHE their child? I mean my first sight of the child I thought he was retarded (first time seeing him was a pic). Then of all things, he has a lisp!!! I have a son, turning 3 the 5th of November (he was born that day Sean Taylor brought the blocked kick back, cool huh?) so I tried to just bite my tongue... Or maybe I wasn't intending this to actually turn into something, who knows.. Anyway, so our children are 2 months apart.. They kinda play together and all... So it's not like I can't really gauge where normal is... The kid is DUM... Yeah DUM, not dumb... only repeats what you say right back at you.. everything is "apple doose" and he is the most disobedient child I have ever seen... AND EVERYONE THINKS HES ADORABLE!!!! I just want to vomit!!! Has anyone EVER been in this situation??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I used to have a rule- never date someone with a kid. I almost did once, and realized that was a huge mistake. But my take is a bit different. I think too many single parents focus too much on trying to have a relationship than raising their kid. I've seen too many bad examples and am very jaded by it. My mom divorced when I was 12- and never dated until I was a Senior- and even then never ever brought anyone home. I am ever so thankful for that. I see women all the time dating men, bringing them home, letting the kid get attached, then they break up. ugh..bad situation. Not saying you or that lady is that way- but maybe a mom should be concentrating on her kid rather than a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terpfan Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Man, she sure is lucky to have you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Sounds like you are jealous. Her kid gets more attention than yours. Pretty poor remarks coming from someone regarding a kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I've never had the opportunity to date a single Mom, but as a theoretical exercise, I'd have to think that the single parent is ethically obligated to do whatever she thinks is best for her child (not necessarily best for you). That either she has to give the child priority over you and the relationship, or you're dating somebody who's a rotten Mother. (And the same thing goes for you, too. If you're not willing to do whatever it takes for her child's welfare, then you're not being fair, to her or her child, either.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In Flames Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 yeah, not cool man. I personally don't find it amusing at all to knock someone's child, let alone on an internet board. How would you like it if someone called your kid DUM? I normally don't sound off on things, but this post is one of meanest things I've read in a long time. :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidenreich Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Man, she sure is lucky to have you... My first reaction as well. I dated a single mom a couple of years ago. I had reservations going into it, but I was into her, so I gave it a shot. We hit it off instantly. Still, I ended it before I met the kid because I knew that wasn't what I wanted. Staying around would have only been for my benefit, not for hers or her sons, and that wasn't fair at all. So I walked away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praise_gibbs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I am dating a single parent. In fact she is actually pregnant with my daughter (7 months along). I couldn't love her daughter any more even if she were my own and the feelings are definitely mutual. She tells my girl all the time how much she loves me and is glad that I am around. Of course, the tough times come with discipline. I have different views on how she should discipline her daughter but, at the same time, it's HER daughter. I always give my suggestion but never to the degree of telling my girl how to discipline her daughter. I honestly wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact, I'd actually recommend it for someone who may want kids but, don't know how it would be to help raise one. In your situation, it just burns me up. Not that what you are doing is bad, I just can't stand when a kid has a guy in and out of their life at such a young age. Especially during the 2-5 year range. They KNOW what's going on. Trust me, even if they don't say it or seem like it. EDIT: Just as I type this, she runs in my room and wraps her arms around me and tells me how much she loves me. Then proceeds to ask for fruit snacks. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destino Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Man, she sure is lucky to have you... seriously. the "Then of all things, he has a lisp!!!" line did it for me. Taking issue with a kids lisp... real classy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 it's an internet board, what i speak of here or to who (within the limits of the law) are as irrelevant as the words you speak. i'm cool to the kid, i wouldn't act towards a child in a negative way.. venting here is harmless, if you don't see it as such you're an idiot but then again most people here veg out on the boards 24/7 and take this place WAY to serious so dating in general is probably something most of you are unfamiliar with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 seriously. the "Then of all things, he has a lisp!!!" line did it for me. Taking issue with a kids lisp... real classy. i hate a lisp period. so on an obnoxious child it's icing on the cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praise_gibbs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 it's an internet board, what i speak of here or to who (within the limits of the law) are as irrelevant as the words you speak.i'm cool to the kid, i wouldn't act towards a child in a negative way.. venting here is harmless, if you don't see it as such you're an idiot but then again most people here veg out on the boards 24/7 and take this place WAY to serious so dating in general is probably something most of you are unfamiliar with. Herein lies the problem. I hope you see it the same as plainly as it is to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G.A.C.O.L.B. Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 it's an internet board, what i speak of here or to who (within the limits of the law) are as irrelevant as the words you speak.i'm cool to the kid, i wouldn't act towards a child in a negative way.. venting here is harmless, if you don't see it as such you're an idiot but then again most people here veg out on the boards 24/7 and take this place WAY to serious so dating in general is probably something most of you are unfamiliar with. I don't think this (here on ES) is going to end well for you man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 I am dating a single parent. In fact she is actually pregnant with my daughter (7 months along). I couldn't love her daughter any more even if she were my own and the feelings are definitely mutual. She tells my girl all the time how much she loves me and is glad that I am around. Of course, the tough times come with discipline. I have different views on how she should discipline her daughter but, at the same time, it's HER daughter. I always give my suggestion but never to the degree of telling my girl how to discipline her daughter. I honestly wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact, I'd actually recommend it for someone who may want kids but, don't know how it would be to help raise one. In your situation, it just burns me up. Not that what you are doing is bad, I just can't stand when a kid has a guy in and out of their life at such a young age. Especially during the 2-5 year range. They KNOW what's going on. Trust me, even if they don't say it or seem like it. thank you for a relevant response. i too have a child just a couple months off, the mother and I are very good friends and closely guard our childs surroundings. as for what impact "dating" to whatever capacity some single parents do, it affects them in everyway and although i can come on here and bash the child on a screen the kid and I get along and he (nor the mom) sees no difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 In fact, I'd actually recommend it for someone who may want kids but, don't know how it would be to help raise one. . don't take this personally- but I really disagree with this one. The way you wrote it makes it sound like someone should date a woman with kids like they test drive a car. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but it sounds like that to me. it's an internet board, what i speak of here or to who (within the limits of the law) are as irrelevant as the words you speak.i'm cool to the kid, i wouldn't act towards a child in a negative way.. venting here is harmless, if you don't see it as such you're an idiot but then again most people here veg out on the boards 24/7 and take this place WAY to serious so dating in general is probably something most of you are unfamiliar with. so says the dude who just posted for advice:doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 I don't think this (here on ES) is going to end well for you man. uh oh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 thank you for a relevant response. i too have a child just a couple months off, the mother and I are very good friends and closely guard our childs surroundings. as for what impact "dating" to whatever capacity some single parents do, it affects them in everyway and although i can come on here and bash the child on a screen the kid and I get along and he (nor the mom) sees no difference. ok, so you have a kid that is 3, a baby on the way and dating (prob sleeping w/) a woman who has a 3 yr old? Dude- maybe you need to lay off the dating and make an honest woman out of one of these women. They sound like hookers-. How many more guys are we going to have in this world with 6 kids and 5 baby's mommas? Or how many women will continue to have 5 kids with 5 baby daddy's? This **** is ridiculous. Ya'll need to get neutured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chipwhich Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 as for what impact "dating" to whatever capacity some single parents do, it affects them in everyway and although i can come on here and bash the child on a screen the kid and I get along and he (nor the mom) sees no difference. No you came on here insulting a 3 year old because you aren't grown up enough to be a man and be in the situation you have yourself in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 ok, so you have a kid that is 3, a baby on the way and dating (prob sleeping w/) a woman who has a 3 yr old? Dude- maybe you need to lay off the dating and make an honest woman out of one of these women. They sound like hookers-. How many more guys are we going to have in this world with 6 kids and 5 baby's mommas? Or how many women will continue to have 5 kids with 5 different men? This **** is ridiculous. Ya'll need to get neutured. You're a complete moron, running your mouth when you lack the ability to read.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALLWORLD Posted September 2, 2009 Author Share Posted September 2, 2009 No you came on here insulting a 3 year old because you aren't grown up enough to be a man and be in the situation you have yourself in. touchy subject you quoted huh? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC_RedskinsFan Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 ok, so you have a kid that is 3, a baby on the way and dating (prob sleeping w/) a woman who has a 3 yr old? Dude- maybe you need to lay off the dating and make an honest woman out of one of these women. They sound like hookers-. How many more guys are we going to have in this world with 6 kids and 5 baby's mommas? Or how many women will continue to have 5 kids with 5 different men? This **** is ridiculous. Ya'll need to get neutured. this No you came on here insulting a 3 year old because you aren't grown up enough to be a man and be in the situation you have yourself in. and this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praise_gibbs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 don't take this personally- but I really disagree with this one. The way you wrote it makes it sound like someone should date a woman with kids like they test drive a car. Maybe you didn't mean it that way, but it sounds like that to me. I figured that it wouldn't come out right. My sentence right after that one would kind of show the statement you quoted above to be a misunderstanding. I didn't mean it in a sense of actually dating a girl and even living with her to learn the ropes of raising a child. I should have stated more clearly how my girl and I got together.. We were friends and I hung out with her daughter a little bit but I wasn't around too much (to give her daughter that vibe that I was anything other than her moms friend). We would go out to eat, the park, just out in general to have fun, and I would get the sense of how it would be to help raise a child. I'd hate to see someone find out the hard way. You can't give your baby up just because it turns out that parenting is not for you. Though, sadly, things like that happen in this day and age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 You're a complete moron, running your mouth when you lack the ability to read.... WTF are you talking about- you said you have a kid who will be 3 in Nov. You are dating a woman with a 3 yr odl and you just posted that you have a kid a couple months off. If I misunderstood- then say something- I never called you a name. You are laughable. coming to a message board, bashing a little kid, then complaining b/c you don't get the responses you like and then insult people who are on a message board...and you call ME the moron? HAHA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ljs Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 I figured that it wouldn't come out right. My sentence right after that one would kind of show the statement you quoted above to be a misunderstanding.I didn't mean it in a sense of actually dating a girl and even living with her to learn the ropes of raising a child. I should have stated more clearly how my girl and I got together.. We were friends and I hung out with her daughter a little bit but I wasn't around too much (to give her daughter that vibe that I was anything other than her moms friend). We would go out to eat, the park, just out in general to have fun, and I would get the sense of how it would be to help raise a child. I'd hate to see someone find out the hard way. You can't give your baby up just because it turns out that parenting is not for you. Though, sadly, things like that happen in this day and age. ok, that makes sense. YOu are typically a great poster, so I figured it may have just come across to me wrong. All good, and congrats on your baby!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McD5 Posted September 2, 2009 Share Posted September 2, 2009 Dating a single mother is tough, no doubt about it. For all of the great things....like taking the kid to nice places that he has yet to experience, spending money on him, or doing fun things with him, there are miserable things as well. Dealing with the ex-husband thing sucks. Especially when the ex is a deadbeat, and can't pay for anything for the kid. And the kid's friends may be a pain in the ass, especially if they always want to come to your/his place. You may find yourself going from a nice, high standard financially speaking, life as a bachelor.....to taking 5 kids and the gf for a night of bowling. And then birthday parties....dinners.....all sorts of stuff. I'm not sure I would do it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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