Can Somebody Teach Me To Pray?

[brandymac27]

I know this is gonna sound really stupid, and I almost didn't post this. But b/c there are some very enlightened posters here, I'm gonna post anyway and hope for the best b/c I really do feel like an idiot.

For those of you that don’t know, I’m an agnostic, but the past couple of weeks I have been trying to look for a church to attend. I have also been trying to pray a lot more in the hope that that will help me with some of the confusion I still have. Well, in the process of trying to pray every day, I have realized that I totally suck at it.

Let me not beat around the bush. I don’t exactly know how to say this without feeling like a total idiot, but I really don’t know how to pray. I find myself jumping from one thing to the next. Then I’ll forget what I was originally praying about, then I’ll remember again, but then I get sidetracked again. Once I get back on track, I ask for things like keeping my family and friends healthy and happy-you know the good, unselfish things. But then I’ll ask for more money-LOL. Now, I don’t just say, “God please drop a bag of money on my doorstep.” I actually ask for the energy to go out into the world and make more of it. So I don’t think this is too bad even though money is materialistic. I also ask for other stuff, like, “can you help me pull off a good grade on this pharmacology exam I have coming up” etc.

The other problem is that I feel I have to pray for the same exact things every day. For example, I will have to pray for a good grade constantly until I get the test results back. So what happens is, I basically end up saying the same exact prayer every single day, and asking for the same exact stuff.

The thing is, I don’t think I’m going about this the right way. I grew up catholic and we had a pretty rigid, methodical approach to praying (prayer beads-rosary, Hail Mary’s etc) and I think this is why I don’t really know how to pray as an adult.

It really hit me last night. I can’t be doing this right. First of all, I’m still praying about some of the same stuff, which means my prayers haven’t been answered (I know not all of them will be), but I’m thinking that maybe it’s b/c I’m asking the wrong way. I mean, if a person came up to me and asked me for ALL the stuff that I pray for in just one night, I would look at them like they were crazy.

So I guess my questions are: is there a certain way you’re supposed to go about praying? Is there a right way to pray? How do you pray to get better results? What am I doing wrong?

One thing in particular that I prayed about was for God to lead me in the right direction (religiously speaking). I basically asked for him to help me “find him again” if that makes any sense. I also asked for him to show me what it is I really should be doing with the rest of my life (career wise). The thing is, He hasn’t answered me, so I’m still confused. Do you think it’s b/c I’m still agnostic to a certain degree? Does he only answer prayers for people who are 100% believers? Could this be why I’m having a problem getting my prayers answered?

Also, do I really have to ask for everything I need when I pray, or since God already knows, can I skip some of it?

Anyway, any insight, advice, help would be appreciated. I really do feel kind of lost right now.

[Mickalino]

Learn from the best.......King David.......he wrote a whole book of about 150 chapters devoted to prayer, called the Psalms.

[twa]

Seek God and His will,not your desires?

http://www.allaboutprayer.org/lords-prayer.htm

[Burgold]

I sometimes feel just like you do. What helps me usually is asking for others. I never or rarely feel stupid asking that my family receives helps or strength during an ordeal, but I sometimes feel weird asking for myself. I also very often pray through an intermediary... I don't know if that's kosher per se, but talking to my grandmother and asking for guidance and hoping/praying for things feels much more natural to me and it allows me to pray for her as well that she has found peace and happiness after all the suffering she had during her life.

Last advice on a more secular level. Take a class on meditation. I know it's not the same, but there are similarities.

[Teller]

I don't generally like to get into threads like this out of fear of sounding "preachy," but this one is right up my alley.

Brandy, the fact that you're seeking out our God and His will for you is a sign that He's already active in your life, IMO. It's like the father that makes his child "learn the value of a dollar." He doesn't give the kid a dollar, he makes the kid earn it through chores, and save it, in order buy the toy he wants.

Faith can be a difficult thing. My own has been kind of challenging over the last couple of years. But I think the journey is part of the gift. If it's just handed to you, you don't appreciate it.

As far as how to pray, I don't know that there's any one way. Just learn what feels most comfortable for you. I like to give thanks for the blessings in my life before "asking" for anything, but that's just me. And when I do ask for something, it's generally that God show me what he wants for my life, and where He wants me to be; rather than money or material possessions.

(Oh, and don't feel bad if you feel like you're jumping around and "changing channels" with your prayers. I have adult ADD, so I do that all the time. God knows what's in your heart though, before you even begin to pray.)

Congratulations on your efforts in understanding your own faith. Rest assured, you'll be in my prayers tonight.

[Skins PR]

Yeah man... I know exactly where you're coming from. I wasn't raised with any sort of strong religious background. We were Catholic but not very dedicated. When I got to college I took a few classes on religion and it was all very confusing... all these crazy religions out there but is Christianity any less absurd?

I still believe that there is some sort of higher power and I've searched to find my spirituality. I've read books or tried to practice several different religions including Buddhism and Unitarianism. They all have certain aspects that, when I look at them logically, just don't seem to be anything more than some man trying to pass off his beliefs as the absolute truth or word of God.

I tried to pray the other day but, like you, I have no concept of what "God" actually is. It makes it very difficult to pray...

"Uh... Mr. Lord, sir? Are you there?"

[DeanCollins]

Brandy, imo, the easiest and best forms of prayer are prayers of gratitude (thanks) for what you have and for the people around you, followed by prayers for knowledge of God's will and the opportunity to be an instrument of the same. Keeping it simple and in your own words is a lot more meaningful than reciting some ancient text.

[G-Prime]

I talk to God.. I do pray as well. But I prefer to talk out my problems with him

[brandymac27]

I don't generally like to get into threads like this out of fear of sounding "preachy," but this one is right up my alley.

Brandy, the fact that you're seeking out our God and His will for you is a sign that He's already active in your life, IMO. It's like the father that makes his child "learn the value of a dollar." He doesn't give the kid a dollar, he makes the kid earn it through chores, and save it, in order buy the toy he wants.

Faith can be a difficult thing. My own has been kind of challenging over the last couple of years. But I think the journey is part of the gift. If it's just handed to you, you don't appreciate it.

As far as how to pray, I don't know that there's any one way. Just learn what feels most comfortable for you. I like to give thanks for the blessings in my life before "asking" for anything, but that's just me. And when I do ask for something, it's generally that God show me what he wants for my life, and where He wants me to be; rather than money or material possessions.

(Oh, and don't feel bad if you feel like you're jumping around and "changing channels" with your prayers. I have adult ADD, so I do that all the time. God knows what's in your heart though, before you even begin to pray.)

Congratulations on your efforts in understanding your own faith. Rest assured, you'll be in my prayers tonight.

This really sits well with me. I absolutely understand what you're saying. I feel like once I do finally find God, I will appreciate him so much more b/c of everything that I've had to go through to find Him. I typically thank Him for all the blessings that he has given me too, that is the easy part for me b/c I have been blessed. The tricky part is when I start asking for things for myself.

I guess you're right. God knows what's in my heart, so it doesn't really matter how I pray- He'll understand what I'm asking for, and I hope He will still listen even thought I'm still trying to find my way.

[brandymac27]

Brandy, imo, the easiest and best forms of prayer are prayers of gratitude (thanks) for what you have and for the people around you, followed by prayers for knowledge of God's will and the opportunity to be an instrument of the same. Keeping it simple and in your own words is a lot more meaningful than reciting some ancient text.

Actually, this is the reason that I have sort of been moving closer to God the past couple of weeks. Techboy sent me a great book, which has really lessened some of the doubts that I have. But to be totally honest, I don't know what happened. It's like I woke up one day and realized that there is no way the world or universe or whatever just dropped my kids into my care. I really believe that there has to be a God, b/c Nothing else could have blessed me with something as great as my kids. I feel like for God to choose me to be their mom, raise them, and trust me with their care is saying a lot. Like I said, I don't really know what happened, it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't really explain it.

I'm not gonna lie, I still don't exactly understand everything about God, and I'm still trying to find my own faith. I just know that God has to be out there somewhere. The hard part for me is trying to get close to him and trust him.

[Teller]

I guess you're right. God knows what's in my heart, so it doesn't really matter how I pray- He'll understand what I'm asking for, and I hope He will still listen even thought I'm still trying to find my way.

Aren't we all.

If God only listened to those who knew the way, His job would be a lot easier.

You're on the right track.

[AsburySkinsFan]

Let me not beat around the bush. I don’t exactly know how to say this without feeling like a total idiot, but I really don’t know how to pray. I find myself jumping from one thing to the next. Then I’ll forget what I was originally praying about, then I’ll remember again, but then I get sidetracked again. Once I get back on track, I ask for things like keeping my family and friends healthy and happy-you know the good, unselfish things. But then I’ll ask for more money-LOL. Now, I don’t just say, “God please drop a bag of money on my doorstep.” I actually ask for the energy to go out into the world and make more of it. So I don’t think this is too bad even though money is materialistic. I also ask for other stuff, like, “can you help me pull off a good grade on this pharmacology exam I have coming up” etc.

Sounds like you're right on track. Please do yourself a favor and don't be so hard on yourself. When I pray I simply pray as if I am on the phone with God, because I am. I talk for a bit, and then let there be some silence and not the type of silence where I'm thinking about what to say next. Remember to be casual, you don't need to "sound right" and IMO there is not "right way" to pray, if you are doing it then you're doing it right. Pray your heart, that's all God asks of us.

One thing in particular that I prayed about was for God to lead me in the right direction (religiously speaking). I basically asked for him to help me “find him again” if that makes any sense. I also asked for him to show me what it is I really should be doing with the rest of my life (career wise). The thing is, He hasn’t answered me, so I’m still confused. Do you think it’s b/c I’m still agnostic to a certain degree? Does he only answer prayers for people who are 100% believers? Could this be why I’m having a problem getting my prayers answered?

Welcome to the life of prayer, and it sounds like you are right on the money, just remember to be patient for an "answer" and remember that "yes, no, and wait" are all answers to prayer.

Also, do I really have to ask for everything I need when I pray, or since God already knows, can I skip some of it?

Do you have to lift up everything in every prayer, no, in just the same way that you wouldn't tell a good friend every one of your problems every time you see them. It is very liberating when we stop trying to pray "right" and allow ourselves to talk to God in our own way.

You're on the right track, keep going.

[Toe Jam]

I've figured out over the past week or so that there is healing in prayer.

My pastor always said it but I chose not to believe it. In fact, I found myself nitpicking through his teachings and believing only the things I wanted to believe.

Time for some change, I think...

[techboy]

honorary hog is right (for once ).

Also, I wouldn't really concern myself too much with the content, as God knows all of it anyway, and more importantly, knows what you need. Even if you did have it together in your own mind, you still have an imperfect perspective (being a finite, fallible, human), and so probably wouldn't be asking for the "right" things anyway.

Jesus' model prayer in the New Testament (sometimes called the Lord's Prayer) is often used as a rote recitation (which is fine), but it's actually a formula: Start by praising God, focus on His will rather than your own, and then ask for your needs and those of others. End with praise.

By the way, it's good that you're seeking a church home, because what you really need right now is a healthy, well-balanced church to fellowship with. Fellowship is not just about fun and the social safety net, it's also one of God's most important methods to help us grow spiritually.

PM me if you'd like to talk.

[AsburySkinsFan]

"Uh... Mr. Lord, sir? Are you there?"

That is one of the most honest prayers I've ever heard.

[THEREALTOR1]

You have a pm

[Teller]

honorary hog is right (for once ).

I'm a Skins fan, so technically, it's twice.

[Toe Jam]

I'm a Skins fan, so technically, it's twice.

And you may vote for Obama so, in reality, it's three times.

[brandymac27]

honorary hog is right (for once ).

Also, I wouldn't really concern myself too much with the content, as God knows all of it anyway, and more importantly, knows what you need. Even if you did have it together in your own mind, you still have an imperfect perspective (being a finite, fallible, human), and so probably wouldn't be asking for the "right" things anyway.

This makes sense. I'm probably asking for stuff that really doesn't matter in the long run anyway.

Jesus' model prayer in the New Testament (sometimes called the Lord's Prayer) is often used as a rote recitation (which is fine), but it's actually a formula: Start by praising God, focus on His will rather than your own, and then ask for your needs and those of others. End with praise.

Ahh! Use it as a model. This makes sense to me. If you break it down and use it as a model so to speak, you will actually be covering everything you want to cover in prayer.

By the way, it's good that you're seeking a church home, because what you really need right now is a healthy, well-balanced church to fellowship with. Fellowship is not just about fun and the social safety net, it's also one of God's most important methods to help us grow spiritually.

I agree. I feel like I need the help of others to help me on my spiritual journey. It really is hard trying to go about it on your own. I have liked the churches I have been to so far. At this point, I need to make a decision on which one I like the best.

PM me if you'd like to talk.

Thanks. I'm sure I will.

[AsburySkinsFan]

Actually, this is the reason that I have sort of been moving closer to God the past couple of weeks. Techboy sent me a great book, which has really lessened some of the doubts that I have. But to be totally honest, I don't know what happened. It's like I woke up one day and realized that there is no way the world or universe or whatever just dropped my kids into my care. I really believe that there has to be a God, b/c Nothing else could have blessed me with something as great as my kids. I feel like for God to choose me to be their mom, raise them, and trust me with their care is saying a lot. Like I said, I don't really know what happened, it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't really explain it.

I'm not gonna lie, I still don't exactly understand everything about God, and I'm still trying to find my own faith. I just know that God has to be out there somewhere. The hard part for me is trying to get close to him and trust him.

Wow. Simply wow. In this moment you are knowing the grace of God as He is "courting" you. My tradition calls this prevenient grace (don't worry about the word) but it is simply "the grace that goes before", this is how God gets our attention and draws us closer to Himself so that we might "know" him more clearly and fully.

This is my prayer for you, please do not feel compelled to pray this way, this is simply my expression.

Lord of Heaven and Earth, you are the one who chases us down even while we run from you, you show us grace and mercy while we go about our tasks and by your mercy turn our faces toward you. I lift up your child bradymac to you today so that the static between the two of you might be cleared and you Lord might be revealed more clearly. I ask for encouragement and protection for the journey that lay ahead. May your blessings be known to all who seek to respond to your ever present grace. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

[brandymac27]

Sounds like you're right on track. Please do yourself a favor and don't be so hard on yourself. When I pray I simply pray as if I am on the phone with God, because I am. I talk for a bit, and then let there be some silence and not the type of silence where I'm thinking about what to say next. Remember to be casual, you don't need to "sound right" and IMO there is not "right way" to pray, if you are doing it then you're doing it right. Pray your heart, that's all God asks of us.

Welcome to the life of prayer, and it sounds like you are right on the money, just remember to be patient for an "answer" and remember that "yes, no, and wait" are all answers to prayer.

Do you have to lift up everything in every prayer, no, in just the same way that you wouldn't tell a good friend every one of your problems every time you see them. It is very liberating when we stop trying to pray "right" and allow ourselves to talk to God in our own way.

You're on the right track, keep going.

Thanks a lot for the reply. I guess I just feel very overwhelmed right now. I want to make sure that I'm doing everything the right way. I'm gonna start going to church too now that I have found a few that I like. I guess I'm going to stop worrying that I sound like an idiot when I pray, and just let whatever comes out come out! I don't know any other way to do it, but I think as I pray more and more, I'll get more comfortable doing it.

[Teller]

That was beautiful, ASF.

[DeanCollins]

Actually, this is the reason that I have sort of been moving closer to God the past couple of weeks. Techboy sent me a great book, which has really lessened some of the doubts that I have. But to be totally honest, I don't know what happened. It's like I woke up one day and realized that there is no way the world or universe or whatever just dropped my kids into my care. I really believe that there has to be a God, b/c Nothing else could have blessed me with something as great as my kids. I feel like for God to choose me to be their mom, raise them, and trust me with their care is saying a lot. Like I said, I don't really know what happened, it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I can't really explain it.

Sounds like a "spiritual experience" to me.

I still don't exactly understand everything about God, and I'm still trying to find my own faith. I just know that God has to be out there somewhere. The hard part for me is trying to get close to him and trust him.

Instead of thinking of God as being "out there somewhere", consider thinking of him/her being around you all of the time, like a close friend.

Having had a formal education in catholic school, I didn't feel comfortable with my spirituality. Then I got involved with 12 step groups about 21 years ago, that encourage members to find "a higher power of their own understanding". This allowed me to recreate "God" in an image that I could appreciate.

So I thought for awhile and remembered how my real father never attended any of my little league football games (or hockey matches), which was a painful thing considering most of the other kids dads were there for them. So I formed this vision of God being my spiritual father, sitting in the football stands of life cheering me on to a bigger and better life and life's accomplishments. This really opened the door to my spirituality.

As time went by, I noticed that things were happening around me (for me) that were not of my doing. Sometimes I would be talking to myself saying "if only someone could show me how to do this..." and a stranger would appear with the knowledge or the phone would ring and the person would say "I don't know why but I just felt compelled to call you..." problem solved.

So now I see my higher power (that I call God) as a great friend and father that is always next to me and hears when I need help, even if I'm not asking him directly. I am also presented with opportunities to help others and enjoy doing so.

[brandymac27]

Lord of Heaven and Earth, you are the one who chases us down even while we run from you, you show us grace and mercy while we go about our tasks and by your mercy turn our faces toward you. I lift up your child bradymac to you today so that the static between the two of you might be cleared and you Lord might be revealed more clearly. I ask for encouragement and protection for the journey that lay ahead. May your blessings be known to all who seek to respond to your ever present grace. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Thank you for the wonderful prayer. This is what I'm talking about. I wish I could say prayers that are really good like yours. Mine sound so miscombobulated.

I'm just gonna keep practicing and I said before let whatever comes out come out. I'm gonna stop worrying that I sound like an idiot.

[SkinsHokieFan]

http://www.islam-usa.com/pray1.html

Beginners guide to saying your prayers