GSF Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Dear Red States: We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided we're leaving. We in New York intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the rest of the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 38% of those in the Red states believe that women who are raped, asked for it, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44% of people in Red states say that evolution is only a theory, 53% believe that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. We're taking the good weed too. You can have that crap they grow in Mexico. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 seems a fair bargain, thanks for Ft Knox btw believe I'll have a steak and a bottle of Texas red to celebrate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted November 27, 2012 Author Share Posted November 27, 2012 Thought you might like it TWA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconTheVillain Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 well it is not in my nature to force others to associate :evilg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Ft. Knox would just be one of our many military bases in your land. Just like we do it now, and you guys would be the newest third world installations. :pfft: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big#44 Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 The Red States get SEC football. /Argument. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Opryland closed back in 1999. They might have Harvard, not sure the author went there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sacase Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 seems a fair bargain, thanks for Ft Knox btwbelieve I'll have a steak and a bottle of Texas red to celebrate Don't forget Ft. Riley (1st Infantry (Mech) and Ft. Hood (3rd ACR, III Corp, and 1st Cav), Ft. Bliss (1st Armored Division) Ft. Sill (Field Artillery), Ft. Bragg (82 Airborne and XVIII Airborne Corp, Special Forces Command and Delta Force) Ft. Campbell (101st Airborne, 160th SOAR, 5th Group SF), Ft. Benning (75th Ranger Regiment, Infantry school), Camp Lejune (II MEF and Marine Special Ops), NORTHCOM, SOUTHCOM, CENTCOM and SOCOM, so we can use Most of the nations Ground Forces and special ops to conquer you again and kill your men and take your women and money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 27, 2012 Share Posted November 27, 2012 Ft. Knox would just be one of our many military bases in your land. Just like we do it now, and you guys would be the newest third world installations. :pfft: I think we can take ya cheese eaters :pfft: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Have to courtesy to wait until we finish our wine--or in my case, whiskey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Nobody is getting out of paying their fair share of the debt you quitters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted November 28, 2012 Author Share Posted November 28, 2012 Very observant of you Deacon...I do live in Georgia. Believe me, as someone who was born in Chicago, then went to grade school on the west coast,and then middle school, High school, and college in the DC area, noone appreciates this more than me.... ---------- Post added November-28th-2012 at 12:24 AM ---------- Also just in case it's not clear, I didn't write this. It's just something that came across my email that I thought you guys would get a kick out of... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Nobody is getting out of paying their fair share of the debt you quitters. http://www.forbes.com/2010/02/25/democratic-states-bad-financial-shape-personal-finance-blue.html?boxes=Homepagetoprated The financial ranking of the states is part of a recent Forbes report on the Global Debt Bomb. The political affiliation data was compiled in a 2009 poll of 350,000 adults by Gallup Daily. Forbes' metrics for each state included unfunded pension liabilities, changes in tax revenue, credit ratings, debt as a percentage of Gross State Product, debt per capita, growth expectations for employment and the state economy, net migrations and a "moocher ratio" that compares government employees, pension burdens and Medicaid enrollees to private-sector employment. In Pictures: Bluest States Spilling The Most Red Ink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconTheVillain Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 [/color]Also just in case it's not clear, I didn't write this. It's just something that came across my email that I thought you guys would get a kick out of... I was wondering if you did write this because I was going to ask where you got those number from? But yes, I enjoyed it. Also, I didn't really have you pegged as a liberal, but didn't think you were particularity conservative either. Maybe you're right were more people should be Or im wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 I think we can take ya cheese eaters :pfft:http://farmprogress.com/cdfm/Faress1/author/2/2012/10/romney_surging_ahead_rural_areas_1_634872947578048980.jpg Population vs open space....hmmmm, I'm not sure you've thought this through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSF Posted November 28, 2012 Author Share Posted November 28, 2012 I was wondering if you did write this because I was going to ask where you got those number from?But yes, I enjoyed it. Also, I didn't really have you pegged as a liberal, but didn't think you were particularity conservative either. Maybe you're right were more people should be Or im wrong Thanks! I never really considered myself a liberal, but as the GOP has moved further and further right i probably am a liberal now in a lot of peoples' eyes. I'm definitely liberal when it comes to social issues. I'm pro-choice, and I believe gays have a right to marry and serve in the military. I've always been more in line with the GOP though when it comes to economics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Population vs open space....hmmmm, I'm not sure you've thought this through. hint...farmland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 hint...farmland Hint....$$$$ Hint....Pentagon and Federal Defense Hint....why did the South lose the war? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dfitzo53 Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 I'm guessing this will show up on Snopes relatively soon as half-truths at best. The numbers are probably largely made up. I know California is a big state, but there's a lot of fruit grown in the Southeast. I have a hard time believing the entire red South accounts for less than 10% of fruit production. Harvard and Yale are already in the Ivy League, so listing them separately is redundant. Did the author actually not know that? They're probably the two most famous Ivy League schools. (And I'm not even particularly conservative, I'm just tired of mass emails that are clearly poorly written but for some reason passed around the web by individuals too lazy, biased, or misinformed to read them with even casual skepticism.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjah Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 hint...farmland Surely you realize that the Killer Tomatoes were fictional characters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Hint....$$$$Hint....Pentagon and Federal Defense Hint....why did the South lose the war? Ft Knox is next to what? Plenty of military leaders and assets in the listed states It ain't the same as back in the day....far from it Foolishness ,,,but if ya'l want to leave I certainly won't restrain you ---------- Post added November-27th-2012 at 07:42 PM ---------- Surely you realize that the Killer Tomatoes were fictional characters. You have obviously never had my Killer Tomato soup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Ft Knox is next to what? Plenty of military leaders and assets in the listed states It ain't the same as back in the day....far from it Foolishness ,,,but if ya'l want to leave I certainly won't restrain you You think if it breaks out then our Blue tanks will just sit at Ft. Knox? National Guards have no bases. Sure, you will have some National Guard leaders etc, but the Blue wold have the Fed (Air Force, Army, and Navy) and the National Guards of he blue states. The Red would put up a fight but would lose the coasts instantly, and with that trade and the oil pipelines, they'd sue for peace very quickly. Either that or they'd be forced to give up the land and fight asymmetrically Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 You assume they would fight for you instead of fleeing to us http://news.investors.com/112112-634339-obama-embraces-calif-as-citizens-u-haul-to-texas.aspx?p=full maybe ya better put up fences to keep them in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumbo Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Showing the thread to a co-worker who's humor gets him in as much trouble as mine does me, he says: "So the same chicken-fried morons who think they really won the last war, figure they'll win this one. They have the same problem zombies have." As I'm laughing I ask "what's that?" (I'm such an obliging straight man ) "NEED MORE BRAINS" in a perfect zombie imitation. :rotflmao: Good times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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