flyingtiger1013 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Jeez, my dad would have been in prison for sure! My friends' parents would have been on death row 'cause they used Hotwheels tracks also! My ex-wife said her mother would make them go and get their own switch and it had better be a good one or they would get beat even harder. Remember seeing the parent holding on to the child's arm and smacking them while the child and parent spun in a circle? Three times around was a good beatin! Wasn't funny then but cracks me up now. I have 4 kids ranging in age from 21 to 7 and I have never hit them with anything other than my hand. When they were bad, they got their a$$es smacked, if they backtalked me they got their faces slapped. All four of my kids are very well behaved and say "Yes, Sir/Ma'am" or "No, Sir/Ma'am" to all adults. I'm very proud of them and have no problems taking them anywhere because I know they will behave themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidenreich Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 The more I read this thread, the happier I am that I never had hot wheels when I was a kid! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Henry Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 My parents never spanked us and rasied a PhD and me. Not only that, we never walked the streets when we were ten. Will wonders never cease. It's not about spanking. It's about discipline. However it's administered, it must be done so effectively. We spank occasionally, but I have a kid who doesn't respond at all to it. If we were the types that insisted on spanking as a primary form of punishment, we'd have to literally beat him black and blue before he'd care, and we just won't do that. But he hates having his toys taken away. Frankly, I'd rather do what works than beat on my kid for a half an hour to no avail. Doesn't mean I'm not disciplining my child. As far as this dad in the article is concerned, I'd have to know more about the facts before making any proclamations on The State of Youth in Our Nation or whatever. The media has the crazy habit of sensationalizing things a lot. I suspect that's going on here as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Waldo da Magnificent My only response would be that my parents used switches, belts and hotwheel tracks on their kids. Raised a medical doctor, a published writer and an engineer working on his doctrate along with moi, who is currently working on a legal degree. Sometimes the old ways ARE the best ways. That's fine. And my parents raised an attorney, a PhD economist, and a Hollywood costume designer. Doesn't prove anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I think everyone here loves their parents, and we have a deep profound psychological need to think the best of them. Which is a good thing. But I think this may warp our perception of what is the most appropriate way to parent. "My dad spanked me, and I know he loved me so I must have deserved it, and I turned out all right in the end... well, the spankings must have been good for me. Good parenting must require spanking." I think this is a faulty syllogism. I think you had good parents in spite of the fact that they spanked you, and that you could be just as good parents, or even better, by using all the love, support and guidance your parents gave to you, but omitting the corporal punishment. In my experience, effective discipline does not require putting your child in physical fear of pain inflicted by you. Again, I understand that many do not feel this way, and I do not think any of you are cruel or evil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 its good to use it as a disapline early on, not to the extent meant to physically harm, but to sting. eventually, the kids will learn some respect. i was spanked (never at 12 though) and it was only when i was doing something bad (not for grades.) a kid i know has pushovers for parents. he does everything. i've seen him punch his mom because she wouldn't make him some pizza bagels. in public he's not much better. i was waiting for a metro with him, and there was an asian lady sitting at the bench, he started a decent conversation with her, the took off his sock an put it in her face. unless you want your kids to be like that, you need to get them to respect you early on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 I was raised with punishment (spanking) followed by discipline (putting my nose in a corner for 15-30 mins). Understanding both certainly helped me in raising my children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingtiger1013 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by PokerPacker its good to use it as a disapline early on, not to the extent meant to physically harm, but to sting. eventually, the kids will learn some respect. i was spanked (never at 12 though) and it was only when i was doing something bad (not for grades.) a kid i know has pushovers for parents. he does everything. i've seen him punch his mom because she wouldn't make him some pizza bagels. in public he's not much better. i was waiting for a metro with him, and there was an asian lady sitting at the bench, he started a decent conversation with her, the took off his sock an put it in her face. unless you want your kids to be like that, you need to get them to respect you early on. He sounds like a future guest of the Fairfax County Sheriff's office.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by PokerPacker a kid i know has pushovers for parents. he does everything. i've seen him punch his mom because she wouldn't make him some pizza bagels. in public he's not much better. i was waiting for a metro with him, and there was an asian lady sitting at the bench, he started a decent conversation with her, the took off his sock an put it in her face. unless you want your kids to be like that, you need to get them to respect you early on. I would venture to say that a rotten kid like that is going to be a jerk anyway. When I was a kid, the biggest hellion in the neighborhood was the one whose father used to wallop him all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Predicto I would venture to say that a rotten kid like that is going to be a jerk anyway. When I was a kid, the biggest hellion in the neighborhood was the one whose father used to wallop him all the time. it would sound like he was hopeless the whole time, but if you knew him, you'd understand that he needed to be punished. also, he has no brothers to beat him down. he's not a terrible juvanile delinquint who's gonna end up with life in prison, he's just someone without self-control. in school environments, he gets away with impulsive things because he uses tourettes syndrome as an excuse. he's gone through life without responsibility, and gets everything he wants. (Xbox, Ps2, Psx with mod chip, gamecube, gameboy advance, Nintendo DS, PSP, 37" Tv in his room, pool table, ping-pong table...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 i never said the father should beat him, just spank him so it stings a little. what my dad did that made it seem worse, was swoop down, and pick us up by our legs (both legs with one hand) and give a swat. he wasn't trying to hurt us, he was showing that he is willing to punish. the kid who gets beaten doesn't respect his father, its been taken too far. his life is so messed up, and takes it out on others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by PokerPacker it would sound like he was hopeless the whole time, but if you knew him, you'd understand that he needed to be punished. also, he has no brothers to beat him down. he's not a terrible juvanile delinquint who's gonna end up with life in prison, he's just someone without self-control. in school environments, he gets away with impulsive things because he uses tourettes syndrome as an excuse. he's gone through life without responsibility, and gets everything he wants. (Xbox, Ps2, Psx with mod chip, gamecube, gameboy advance, Nintendo DS, PSP, 37" Tv in his room, pool table, ping-pong table...) Fine. Take all that crap away from him whenever he acts up. No TV for a week. Broccoli for dinner. Whatever. Still doesn't mean you have to hit him to discipline him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by PokerPacker the kid who gets beaten doesn't respect his father, its been taken too far. his life is so messed up, and takes it out on others. I didn't get beaten. I respected my father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Predicto I didn't get beaten. I respected my father. i think you may have misread what i said. the kid who gets beaten doesn't respect his father, he hates him. if he's just spanked a little every now and then, its a different circumstance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gichin13 Posted May 2, 2005 Share Posted May 2, 2005 Originally posted by Predicto Please understand that this is not directed at any particular poster here... But I feel sorry for people who feel that they only way they can create or maintain discipline with their children is to beat them. And I feel more sorry for the children. My parents never beat me, and I never hit my children, and we are all doing fine. There are other parenting skills than pure fear. Sometimes the old ways are not the best ways. Just my 2 cents. I think by and large I agree with you. I also think there is a time and place for everything. As I have posted in other threads, I was extremely close to my grandparents. Once, when I was I think 13, I was running at the mouth. My grandmother said something I thought was silly. Out pops, "You are stupid Grandma". My grandfather smartly smacked me right across the face -- nothing big, nothing bruising, just enough to sting. Then he looked me right in the eye and said, "Don't you ever say anything like that to your grandmother ever again." I think that was about the extent of teenager smart alecky behavior from me ina nutshell. It was the shame of being confronted so directly and immediately. I will never forget that moment in my life. And I was not abused, hurt, or anything. It was the right response and the right moment for the right offense. I earned that smack. And I loved my grandparents all the more for it. Please note -- that was the one and only time in my entire life I ever received any physical discipline from my grandparents. My mother, she loved her wooden spoon. I did not get it much, but I earned it when I got it for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Gilchin, do you think there was any way for your Grandfather to accomplish the same thing without hitting you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 "Gilchin, do you think there was any way for your Grandfather to accomplish the same thing without hitting you?" Why? Seems to have had the desired result without resulting in emotional trama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by stevenaa "Gilchin, do you think there was any way for your Grandfather to accomplish the same thing without hitting you?" Why? Seems to have had the desired result without resulting in emotional trama. The perfect response :notworthy ... Everyone can claim the emotional beating is worse than the physical... My dad use his finger in my chest and i got spankings.. It didnt work for me... Then i went into the Military at 17 1/2. Hmm, the Drill Sergeants never had to hit me and yet they managed to mentally beat me down and build me back up correctly... I was the only squad leader to make it all the way through basic for our 2 platoons... Not every person is identical so not every "Proclamation" can be either... :whippin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by Park City Skins Belts and switches. Hah. My dad used hotwheel tracks. Ah damn. Now why did you have to go and dig up repressed memories. Those things friggin KILLED! In hindsight, I always still get a laugh about the wooden spoon beatings - when my mom broke them on me it made her even madder that I broke her spoon Come to think of it... those spankings on the @ss with just a bear hand were a joke :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gichin13 Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by Predicto Gilchin, do you think there was any way for your Grandfather to accomplish the same thing without hitting you? Not to the same effect, no. He never touched me before, never touched me since. He really was a very calm, kind, smart and disciplined person, and it was not done in anger at all. It was meant to shock me, stop me up short, and instantly change my entire demeanor in a permanent fashion. It did all of the above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrangeSkin Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Spanking isn't acceptable punishment; it's physical abuse, plain and simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 "Spanking isn't acceptable punishment; it's physical abuse, plain and simple." No spanking it is not. Beating is. I've been on the receiving end of both and I can tell you from experience, their is a very large difference. And it is apparent to the child. I got spanked when I was bad, which wasn't often. On a one occassion it went further than a spanking, though I wasn't "physically harmed" That time took a mental toll. The spankings never did. In fact, the are humorous to look back on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PCS Posted May 3, 2005 Share Posted May 3, 2005 Originally posted by Die Hard Ah damn. Now why did you have to go and dig up repressed memories. Those things friggin KILLED! In hindsight, I always still get a laugh about the wooden spoon beatings - when my mom broke them on me it made her even madder that I broke her spoon Come to think of it... those spankings on the @ss with just a bear hand were a joke :laugh: I wished mine were repressed. You could hear the sucker coming too. Never in time mind you, but could hear it. Man, he said don't play in the shower, but oh no, I had to play. :thud: Mom could mix cookies, and pick up,smack my hand, and have wooden spoon on the counter without missing a beat, ( unintentional pun). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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