WyomingRedskin Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Tony Romo sits to pee has stated that because of his broken rib it hurts to laugh. It is now obvious that our front three needs to add humor to the game plan. We can inflict more pain on him than a LaRon Landry tackle with some good old fashion Dallas Cowboys jokes. Help our team out with some material they can use... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbs Hog Heaven Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 A Redskin fan, a Cowboy fan and a Giants fan were in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death . However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Cowboy fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. He had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Giants fan was next up (he almost finished an entire bottle by himself), and after watching the scene, said: "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Giant fan out crying like a little girl. The Redskin fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate, and was most certainly responsible for getting the whiskey into the country in the first place ), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said... "You support the greatest team in the world, you may have two wishes!" "Thanks, your Royal Highness," the 'Skins fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" he ask Replied the Redskin fan with a smirk: "Tie that fookin Texan to my back." Hail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SWFLSkins Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 On Super Bowl Sunday last year, three Cowboy fans all decked out in Cowfan gear walk into a Bar.....the bartender says, what is this a joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cschupp Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Why can't Tony Romo sits to pee buy a Coke from a machine? He never has 4 quarters to give. ---------- Post added September-22nd-2011 at 08:37 AM ---------- A man drives to each home Redskins game. When he sees fans wearing jerseys from other teams he drives straight for them and turns at the last second. One Cowgirls game the man sees a Priest in his car broken down on the side of the road. He offers the Priest a ride and finds he too is going to the game. On the way and not thinking he drives right at a group of Cowgirls fans and turns away as always. Remembering the Priest in the car he says "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." The Priest says "That's OK, I saw you were going to miss them, I opened my door and we still got a few." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrecker Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 More mass = More gravity Texas is the largest state in the country. Therefore, Texas Sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsburySkinsFan Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 These always makes me laugh.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redshu Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Three most common lies told in Dallas; 1. I won this belt buckle. 2. My pickup truck is paid for. 3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrecker Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 How many people does it take to beat the Cowboys? Only 1 - Tony Romo sits to pee. Resources have said that Tony Romo sits to pee will now be put on a liquid diet to prevent choking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Son of Gadsden Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 I don't have a joke....but im just gunna say....you don't see Redskins in brokeback mountain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goingforburgundy Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Heres my joke: Dallas Cowboys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destructis Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 That Priest one was freaking funny. Please keep posting them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destructis Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 So I had to google Cowboys jokes and found a ton of links. Some of these are old, but still funny Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Playoffs? A: The Dallas Cowboys Q: How many players did the Cowboys dress for their last game? A: 22. The rest dressed themselves. Q: What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern? A: Does bail money count against the salary cap? Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas? A: A huddle. Q: Four Dallas Cowboys are in a car. Who's driving? A: The police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore? A: It is a parole violation for him to associate with known Felons. I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator and now they want a coke machine. The Dallas newspapers reported yesterday that Texas Stadium is going to take out the artificial turf because the Cowboys play better on "grass". The Dallas Cowboys adopted a new "Honor System". Yes, your Honor, No, your Honor. The Cowboys had a 8 and 8 season last year. 8 arrests, 8 convictions. Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby? A: Eventually the baby stops whining. A woman in Dallas calls 911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you." Albert Einstein wants to test the IQ of three men. He finds men with IQs of 250, 150, and 50. He asks the man with the 250 IQ, "What can you tell me about nuclear fission?" The man gives an answer appropriate to his 250 IQ, and Einstein moves on to the man with a 150 IQ. He asks him, "What can you tell me about Nuclear reactions?" The man gives him an answer appropriate for a 150 IQ. Einstein then asks the man with the 50 IQ, "HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?" A news reporter was sitting in Central Park on his lunch break. There were two teenage boys throwing the football around. A huge Rotweiler gets loose from it's owner and pounces on one of the boys. The other one, in a fit of panic, picks up the biggest stick he could find and smashes it aginst the dog's head, killing it. The reporter runs over to the boys. "Wow! That was great! I can see the headline now: Giants Fan Saves Life of Best Friend!" "I am not a Giants fan", the boy replied. "Well, who are you a fan of, then?" asked the reporter. "I am a fan of America's Team, the Dallas Cowboys!". The next day, the headline read "Redneck Punk Brutally Slays Beloved Family Pet". Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Cowboys' library facilities? A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new prison in Irving, Texas in order to allow "Jerry's Kids" to walk to work. A man walked into a bar and sat down for a drink. He noted a dog intently watching an Skins-Cowboys game. Whenever the Skins scored, the dog would jump onto the bar and do an animated dance. This happened over and over as the Skins scored again and again. At the end of the game, the dog let out a loud howl and ran out of the bar. The man thought this was pretty unusual and said to the bartender, "Gee, that's amazing. What happens when the Cowboys win?" The bartender replied, "I don't know- the dog's only four years old." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Two Skins fans and a Cowboys fan are walking along the woodline at FedEx Field before a game, when they stumble across the body of a young woman laying naked in the woods. Out of respect, the first Skins fan takes his hat off and covers her right breast. The second Skins fan takes his hat off and covers the left. Both Skins fans glare at the Cowboys fan, and he reluctantly takes his hat off and covers her crotch. One of the Skins fans calls the police, and an officer responds to examine the body. He lifts the first Skins hat and writes some notes. Then he lifts the second Skins hat and scribbles some more. He then lifts the Cowboys hat and gets a quizzical look on his face. He replaces it, lifts it again, and again looks confused. He repeats this a third time, and one of the Skins fans speaks up. "Come on man, have some respect." The officer looks back at him and says, "No, no. It's not that. It's just that usually when I look under a Cowboys hat, I find an ***hole." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wrecker Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Two Skins fans and a Cowboys fan are walking along the woodline at FedEx Field before a game, when they stumble across the body of a young woman laying naked in the woods.Out of respect, the first Skins fan takes his hat off and covers her right breast. The second Skins fan takes his hat off and covers the left. Both Skins fans glare at the Cowboys fan, and he reluctantly takes his hat off and covers her crotch. One of the Skins fans calls the police, and an officer responds to examine the body. He lifts the first Skins hat and writes some notes. Then he lifts the second Skins hat and scribbles some more. He then lifts the Cowboys hat and gets a quizzical look on his face. He replaces it, lifts it again, and again looks confused. He repeats this a third time, and one of the Skins fans speaks up. "Come on man, have some respect." The officer looks back at him and says, "No, no. It's not that. It's just that usually when I look under a Cowboys hat, I find an ***hole." :ols::applause::applause::applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Mike Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Would the woman who left her 11 children at Jerraworld please come pick them up... they're beating the cowboys 21 to 0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RememberOsaka Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 So a teacher in Dallas asks her students how many of them are Dallas Cowboys fans. Every kid in the class raised their hand except one boy. The teacher asks the boy, what team are you a fan of. He replied, the Washington Redskins. The teacher asked him why he was a fan of the Redskins and the boy replied that his dad and mom are Redskins fans, so he is too. The teacher said, "So if your Dad is a moron and your Mom is an idiot, what does that make you?" The boy relied "A Dallas Cowboys fan"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vawoodworker84 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Why couldn't Jesus be born in Dallas? God couldn't find a virgin or three wise men! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Symbol Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 This couple is going through custody hearings for their 4 year old son. The judge decides to see if the boy has a preference as to which parent he would rather stay with. Judge: So Jimmy, would you like to live with your mommy? Jimmy: No sir, she beats me. Judge: Well, what about you daddy? Jimmy: No sir, he beats me. Judge: What about your grandparents? Jimmy: No sir, they beat me too. Judge: Well who would you like to live with? Jimmy: The Dallas Cowboys, they don't beat nobody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy614 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Q: Did you hear about the fire at the Cowboys' library facilities? A: Both books were burned, and one of them had not even been colored in yet. ---------- Post added September-22nd-2011 at 02:08 PM ---------- Q: What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". ---------- Post added September-22nd-2011 at 02:09 PM ---------- Q: What do the Cowboys and a possums have in common? A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road! ---------- Post added September-22nd-2011 at 02:10 PM ---------- Q: What do you call a Cowboys fan with half a brain? A: Gifted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostofSparta Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Q: What do you call a Cowboys fan with half a brain? A: Gifted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ouvan59 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 A man called down to his wife…. Honey what should I use in the laundry to wash my t-shirt? Wife asks ….what color is it? Husband answers: blue and silver with a star on it. Wife responds….use 1 cup of TIDE and 6 cups of bleach…. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MustangSteve Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 A Redskins, Giants and Cowboys fan were arguing over who the most loyal fans in all of sports are, so they decided to climb the tallest mountain around and prove their loyalty. Half way up the Giants fan screamed out this is for you New York,and jumped off the mountain. The Redskins and Cowboys fan said wow he loved his team, so they ran to the top of the mountain to out do him. The Cowboys fan said well your next to prove your loyalty since we are America's team, so the Redskins fan yelled out this is for you Washington, and pushed the Cowboys fan off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobbyst21 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 ...edit...never mind,was already posted,slightly different but close enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fischer fan Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 More mass = More gravityTexas is the largest state in the country. Therefore, Texas Sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benskins26 Posted September 22, 2011 Share Posted September 22, 2011 Three most common lies told in Dallas; 1. I won this belt buckle. 2. My pickup truck is paid for. 3. I was just helping that sheep over the fence. Gold Jerry, Gold! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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