(Maybe) Going to Disney (again) in 6 weeks. (Update: 10 days.)

[Larry]

OK, background:

Took Mom to Disney for several days, the week before Christmas. (My brother came down from Portland, with his son, 9.)

The trip wasn't exactly the ipsy-pipsy-perfect thing that Disney is famous for. (Through no fault of Disney whatsoever.)

Things were cold. (Most of the time it was like high 65, low 45. Better than what the rest of the country was getting. But way too cold for Mom to, say, go to the Magic Kingdom and sit, outdoors, in her wheel chair for an hour, to watch the fireworks. So, except for two better-than-average days, it was too cold for Mom to leave the hotel.)

And Mom really doesn't have the endurance she used to. Typically, her day starts when I get her out of bed, put her in the wheel chair, and take her to breakfast. Then it's back into bed for a few hours. Then go to lunch. Back to bed. Go to dinner. She really can't stay out of bed for more than about two hours at a stretch.

And, frankly, her mental state has been withdrawing. For several months before the trip, she was at the point where she'd go for days without speaking a word. (I'd given up even asking her things like "do you want to go someplace else for dinner, tonight?", because she wouldn't even respond. Just gaze around like she's looking for something to change the subject.

Still things went well. (Fantastically well, considering.) Frankly, I didn't even expect her to actually go. I expected her to come up with some reason why she couldn't go. (Or to simply say "no", and refuse to say anything else.)

She went. She ate. Went out with her grandson.

We stayed in the Contemporary hotel. (I figured the monorail would make wheelchair logistics as easy as possible. And we've had problems in the past, where my family, frankly, found the food in the Polynesian and Animal Kingdom hotels to be too exotic. I wanted "American" food, for this trip.)

They had a restaurant, Chef Mickey's. It's a buffet. (But it's good food. They have chefs.) And Mickey, Minnie, Pluto, Goofy, and Donald wander around the dining room, and will stop by your table to pose for pictures or sign autographs. (We couldn't make reservations. The place was booked solid for the entire week. But they served breakfast till 12:30, and we slept late. At Noon, the place is half empty, and you can walk right in without one.

Mom did get to go over to Magic Kingdom and watch the Christmas parade, which used to be her favorite thing. Got to watch the nighttime fireworks, but from inside the hotel. (The view wasn't too bad.)

Looking back, I don't think there was one single moment, the whole week, where I was certain that Mom was happy. (That was my Ultimate Wish: I'd been wishing that if I could ever get her to Disney again, that there would be one moment, maybe watching the parade, maybe meeting Mickey, whatever, when I could look at her face, and I would know that she was happy. That was the moment I wanted to hang on to, to treasure. The moment I wanted to remember her by. Didn't happen.)

OTOH, "Didn't get my ultimate wish in the whole universe" isn't exactly bad, either. She enjoyed it.

Me, I didn't expect to enjoy it. Despite being a big Disney freak. I figured that I'd be going insane, with take Mom to breakfast, then take her back to the room, and sit in the room for three hours, five minutes away from Disney, playing solitaire on the laptop, and listening to Mom snore. Frankly, I didn't mind it nearly as much as I was dreading. It was a little bit more enjoyable than staying here would have been.

And it had a

really

profound effect on her. As she stayed there, she became more alert. She'd look at people. She used to like, when we went out to eat, to watch other people's kids. She hadn't done that for maybe six months. But she started to do it again. She spoke more. Towards the end of the week, she was using sentences. (Before, she'd start a sentence, and then just drift off.)

I would ask her if she wanted to go back home, and she didn't say "yes". (In fact, on rare occasions, she's say "no".)

On the way back to Gainesville, after the trip, she was actually pointing at the cars that were passing us on the interstate, and making comments. We'd get passed by a car with two bikes on a bike rack, and she'd say "Somebody's getting a bike for Christmas". (She was aware that it was Christmas eve.)

In short, my own, amateur Doctor medical opinion, is that this trip canceled out maybe a year's worth of her mind decaying. She was more alert and aware that she'd been in a year.

So, if I didn't get my Ultimate Wish, it wasn't exactly a waste of time, either.

Well, she's still quite a bit better. She's slid downhill a little, I think. (Hard to quantify these things.) She's not eating as much as I want her to. (We both came down with colds, about 3 days after we came back.) But I just weighed her, and she's gained a pound in the last two weeks, so I guess that's OK.

Well, her birthday's coming up, March 7. I asked her if she'd like to go to Disney for her birthday. She smiled. (Didn't speak, but I chose to interpret that as a "yes", anyway.)

(None of us has ever gone to Disney on a birthday. I've been told that the birthday person gets a special pin to wear, so that every employee in Disney can tell it's her birthday.)

I'm just taking her for one day. (Mostly). Because of her low endurance, the plan is going to be something like drive down there Noon - 2. Check into hotel. Sleep for a few hours. Go to dinner. Go to bed. Get up on birthday. Eat, go back to bed. Nap a few hours. Go to the park for an hour or two. Back to bed and rest a few. Repeat. Next day, eat breakfast. Rest a few hours. Go home. So, we'll be on Disney property for three days, but it's entirely possible that we won't leave the hotel on days 1 and 3.

We're staying in Contemporary again. (Worked out really well, last time.) But this time, we're in a room that faces the Magic Kingdom. (We couldn't get those rooms, the week before Christmas.)

Of course, with Mom, it's subject to change. I won't be surprised in the least if I get everything packed in the car, and she refuses to go.

But I've been talking about the trip with her. And she smiles when I talk about it. I'm trying to reinforce the idea.

Figured I'd let everybody know.

[Teller]

Larry, our history with each other on this board is, well, a little "hostile." But I can honestly say that this is the most sincere, most heartfelt, most beautiful post I have EVER read on this board. Though I expect to go right back to partisan bickering and insults when we leave this thread, I just want you to know that I have a tremendous amount of respect for you as a man, caregiver, and son. Your mom is truly blessed. I pray the very best for her, and for you.

[Kosher Ham]

Wow. Amazing.

I still have my head shaved for Hog's Mother...(I kind of like it).

Thanks for sharing the story Larry.

[Teller]

Wow. Amazing.

I still have my head shaved for Hog's Mother...(I kinda of like it).

Thanks for sharing the story Larry.

Forgive the slight hijack, but Mom had her last chemo treatment today. She's done with EVERYTHING. Thank you again, brother. Sincerely appreciate it.

[Kosher Ham]

That's awesome. I was just talking to my lady about it again today. I was telling her about the head painting thing that you posted.

Do it up Larry, it will mean so much more to you than you might even think. My Grandmother and I were so close and it was a brutal loss for me to accept. The moments I spent with her making her smile over the last few years are so cherished by me, even now.

[Teller]

Definitely. It's amazing that even though she may seem so "gone" at times, that a trip like this can be so incredibly therapeutic. I hope that if I ever reach a point where I can't make the decisions I'd like to for myself, that I have someone as thoughtful in my life as you seem to be, Larry.

[brandymac27]

Larry, I think you should absolutely go! She may not say that she wants to go, but that smile you mentioned indicates to me that she definitely wants to. Take her and enjoy every moment of it.

Forgive the slight hijack, but Mom had her last chemo treatment today. She's done with EVERYTHING. Thank you again, brother. Sincerely appreciate it.

That's great news! Glad to hear she's doing better.

[Dan T.]

Bless you Larry. Do it for her AND for you. It sounds like it helps improve her disposition and mental health, and you deserve the trip too.

Not to pry, but do you ever get a break from the care-giving? Does your brother, another relative, friend or neighbor offer to take over for you for a couple days or a week? You need to think about your own well being too even as you devote yourself to caring for mom. In any case, you're a good man for being her primary caregiver.

[Burgold]

Hard post to read... brings me back to all I went through taking care of my grandmother in her last years and especially those last months. You're a good man, Larry. It's a difficult road you've chosen.

[Larry]

Folks,

I started this thread to talk about Disney. Not about what a great and noble and superior guy I am.

I already know that.

[Burgold]

Well, that's harder because I haven't been to Disney World since the year before Epcott opened. I've been to Disneyland more recently, but I wasn't that blown away. The lines were too long, too many people, they had a cool Star Wars ride as I recall with an animatronice R2D2 and C3PO and I went into the Michael Jackson Captain Zeo thing, but I can't speak to the rest. I do get sappy during Disney Cartoons, even Tangled, but that's a different subject.

The one thing I might say is don't only do the things you know you love... find something new that way it isn't solely a nostalgia trip, but has an element of new memory or adventure.

[Larry]

Burg,

That explains why you're such an anti-American. You need to get to Disney more often.

When I go to Disney, the people is one of the main attractions, to me. I simply wander around and soak up the ambiance of being surrounded by all these people who are having a great time. (Although yeah, I do see certain types. Like the groups who treat the trip like they're storming the beaches at Normandy. "OK, Johny, you take all of our tickets and go get fastpasses for Space Mountain. Nora, you go wait in line and get us a reservation at Cinderella's Castle. The rest of us will go get in line for It's a Small World, and we'll meat at the Castle at 11:35. Now, synchronize your watches.")

(And I'm really not looking for advice, although I'm not immune to it. I've been probably 50 times (although I do the same things every time, so there's lots of things I don't know about.) And I know a lot more about what Mom can and can't (and will and won't) do. I'm trying to make some decisions about what to do, there, but I doubt that anybody can help me.)

For example, I've never done Soarin'. I think Mom's physically capable of it. But I don't know if she'd really enjoy it. I don't know if I'm thinking about trying to go there because I think she'll like it, or because I think I will. (And my constant goal is to try to make her happy. I can go do the things I want after she's gone.)

When I look at things that are near there, there's an interactive thing we haven't done, The Turtle Talk With Crush Show. I've read about it, and it looks kind of like a movie, except that Crush (the turtle from Nemo) will talk with people in the audience. I could see Mom really enjoying that. And she's liked the aquarium, there. And there's a restaurant we've never been to, the Coral Reef restaurant. I think Mom

might

like eating with a view of the aquarium, but I suspect that the place is a lot fancier than she'd like. (Although, I suspect that she'll pay more attention to the aquarium and the other guests than she does to the food.)

But when your trip is going to consist, probably, of three, two hour trips to the park, and those trips have to include eating, then the opportunities for trying new things are rather limited.

I'm facing a similar decision regarding where to eat dinner, the night we arrive.

Used to be, one of Mom's favorite things was watching the fireworks over the castle. I assume that those are going to happen around 8:00, this time of year. I have no way of knowing if it will be too cold for her to go to the park. (Good news is: I got us a room where we can watch them from our hotel room. But it's not the same. The fireworks are really designed to be watched from Main Street. From the hotel, things don't "line up".)

I have restaurant reservations (after the Christmas trip, where every restaurant in the place was completely booked for our entire stay, I really intend to try to make reservations now, and hope I guessed right.) at two restaurants in the hotel.

I have reservations for 9:00 at Chef Mickey's. That's located in the atrium (the "Grand Canyon Concourse", in Disney-speak). Mickey and Donald and Pluto.

And I have reservations at California Grill, located on the roof. (I've eaten there, Mom hasn't.) Really fantastic view. (There's an outdoor observation deck, next to the restaurant, where you can see all four theme parks.) But it's more of a fancy place. (Only restaurant I'm aware of at Disney that has a dress code. But it's "business casual", which as near as I can tell means "no t-shirts". They aren't going to turn us away.) I suspect that the food is going to be fancier than Mom wants. (Although, frankly, I'm going to order for both of us, and feed her. All she's going to do is chew, swallow, gaze around the room, and announce when she wants to leave.)

Do I pick the place with the view? (And with quieter setting?) Or with the characters? (And cute kids entertaining us?)

But frankly, if I don't know which one she'd enjoy more, then nobody else is going to be able to tell me. I'm not really expecting advice. I'm just talking about impressions about the various places cause I like talking about Disney.

Mostly, I was imagining a thread where everybody talks about the things that they like to do.

Edit:

For example, one of those Disney philosophical questions:

How come at EPCOT World Showcase, with all of the places around the lake, representing various places around the world, the only place that doesn't have a nice, sit down, decent restaurant, is the American pavilion?

Couldn't they find some decent American food to showcase? Maybe BBQ? Cajun? Is the only food that represents America, fast food cheeseburgers on paper plates that you carry to the table yourself?

Edit2:

I also wanted to put in a plug for my favorite online shopping site, The Disney Store.

They got all kinds of stuff there. And it's constantly changing.

(Which sometimes irritates me. I buy things, I like them, I try to buy them again (because I want more, or I wore them out), and they don't exist any more. I've got some really nice bath towels with Mickey on them, that I bought 7-8 years ago. But they only sold them once, then discontinued them, then came out with different ones. (And the newer ones aren't as good.))

But y'know what? It's amazing how many things you can get with Mickey Mouse on them.

[youngestson]

Wow Larry, this is really a very touching post. Right now both my parents are still healthy and independent and stories like this remind me to really cherish these times.

Have a great trip and good luck with everything. I can remember watching the fireworks from the Contemporary Resort one time and it was really pretty cool, sipping a drink and watching my kids sit there completely absorbed in the moment.

Best of luck to you man, and your mom.

[Larry]

Actually, I've watched the fireworks from a room at Polynesian, and the view is much better from there. (Because you're along the correct viewing line.)

Really want to thank the ESers who, years ago, suggested that place to me. That's a really nice place to stay. We had a really great vacation there, in '05. Only problem was, everybody in our group thought that the food in the restaurants was too exotic. (Our previous vacation had been at Animal Kingdom, and we had the same opinion, there.)

(Actually, I kind of liked the fact that the food was a bit different, both places. Thought it made the places more exotic. More like another place. But nobody else did.)

[Rypien 91]

Do you need somebody to get you in, because I would love to do it. Just PM me and let me know. Thanks!

[Burgold]

Do you need somebody to get you in, because I would love to do it. Just PM me and let me know. Thanks!

what kinda connections do you have?

[Larry]

Uh, no, I've already booked the room, tickets, and restaurant reservations.

[Tastes Like Chicken]

Larry,

Since you mentioned her fondness for watching kids, the Crush talking turtle from Nemo would be perfect for her. My kids sat in a crowd of little ones up front, and it was an amazing back and forth exchange with lots of laughs. Afterwards we ran next door to Coral Reef because it was raining at the time, and it turned out to be a really enjoyable, spontaneous meal. The aquarium is just amazing and we were seated right next to it. Plus, the food and service were outstanding.

In the magic kingdom there is a show with life size animatronic former presidents, forget what it's called. But it's indoors and she might find it interesting. Soarin' might be a bit intense. Brunch at Cinderella's castle and breakfast at Chef Mickey's were both fun and interactive with characters. We really enjoyed touring Mickey's house and Minnie's house near the Goofy ride. You could take her around inside, and there's lots of cool little details to check out (like Mickey's chess set and you can guess what's in the fridge). Plus the little kids really seemed to have fun checking everything out and watching their reactions was cute. She might also like the area and film about the life of Walt Disney, another indoor spot.

You might have done these things with her already, but that's my 2 cents fwiw. It's so great that you can share these experiences with your mom, so go for it. And have fun! (I'm going to write a contract with my kids that they have to take me to Disney at least once a year)

[IHOPSkins]

.......I started this thread to talk about Disney......

Visual....auditory....tactile

Maybe the Carousel (visual and auditory) with children....and have an ice cream?...I am no expert but a full impact (immersion) experience might be beneficial

Disneyland has one....I would imagine Disneyworld does also

You can get a Birthday Button and Guest Relations

God Bless you and your Mother

[Larry]

That's sort of what I was thinking, about the Crush show. Mom wouldn't want to interact with Crush. (Mom hasn't seen Nemo, and wouldn't remember him if she had. Mom barely interacts with people.) But I bet she'd get pleasure out of watching a bunch of kids have fun.

We've done Cinderella's Castle once (we've dried, before, but the line has always been too long.) Weren't really impressed. But we've had very good experiences at a place called The Crystal Palace, just across the moat from the castle. Really great food. Great view of the castle. And Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore.

---------- Post added January-23rd-2011 at 10:53 AM ----------

Visual....auditory....tactile

Maybe the Carousel (visual and auditory) with children....and have an ice cream?...I am no expert but a full impact (immersion) experience might be beneficial

Disneyland has one....I would imagine Disneyworld does also

You can get a Birthday Button and Guest Relations

God Bless you and your Mother

Doubt I could get her onto the carousel. Mom isn't completely wheelchair bound. With my help, she can stand up, and then sit down in a chair or a restaurant booth. She can take a few very tentative steps (with me keeping her from falling.) But she can't step up or down. I couldn't take her to Pirates of the Caribbean, because she'd have to step down to get in the bost, and step up to get out of it. (She can do It's a Small World, though, because they have special boats where you can roll the whole wheel chair into the boat.)

Oh, and we did the ice cream bar, when I took her for Christmas. I agree, that's one of the most memorable experiences in the parks.

(Remembering a Disney thread in Tailgate, years ago. Like most similar threads in Tailgate, most of it consisted of a dozen people each talking fondly about one thing, but nobody responding to anything that anybody else said. As I recall, the only thing that was mentioned in the entire thread, where more than one person recommended it, was the Mickey Mouse Ice Cream Bars. Like a dozen people recommended them as their most memorable thing about their visit. People still remembered them ten years later.)

[Drockvb]

Hope you get to go Larry.

Kind of ironic here, but my friend whose name is "Larry", just posted a link on my facebook page. He is in Hong Kong right now. He has been working for Disney over there. His current project just finished up and here is the result>>

QusYpP1Xk8U

[Burgold]

That's pretty cool. that rude guy with the civil phone is annoying though.

[Drockvb]

That's pretty cool. that rude guy with the civil phone is annoying though.

Yeah, i know. I am not sure if my friend shot that video, but if it was him he should have told him to move . LOL

My buddy says "There are over 60,000 LED's that can be individually controlled". He has spent years in Asia now working on various projects. Tower of Terror, The Nemo ride, and so on. His life seems exciting.

[IHOPSkins]

....Doubt I could get her onto the carousel. Mom isn't completely wheelchair bound......

I was thinking if there was a good place just to watch...you could possition her Wheelchair for the experiance

For an actual ride to go on I would suggest Small World...Disneyland has Boats that you can drive the wheelchair directly onboard (maybe Disneyworld does also?)....and the song repeats so its easier to remember

Edit....Link

ABC's of Walt Disney World Special Assistance

Walt Disney World offers a lot of help to folks that need special assistance during their vacation. Most of the information here is for folks that have accessibility concerns, but folks with hearing and visual disabilities will find some assistance is available at Walt Disney World for them, too......

.....It's A Small World

People using wheelchairs or ECVs should contact the attraction greeter for information on boarding options. Boats that can accommodate wheelchairs are available at this attraction.

http://www.mouseplanet.com/dtp/wdwguide/3_Tripplan/special_considerations/special_assistance_AtoZ.htm

[Burgold]

That's pretty bloody cool. Is he local now? In the DC area?