I am going to be a father at a young age. Could use some advice...

[28rdsknsfn28]

So' date=' he gets live in poverty with a high stress job, a new baby, and a wife he doesn't know.

That's a recipe for success.[/quote']

So it would be better to work a $10.00 an hour job which will put him even lower???? I understand how some here feel but at least he will be able to care for the child. He can get out of the service in four years with a college degree and real experience.

[G-Prime]

anchors away my boy, anchors away..............

enlist in the navy. Free health care, base housing, paycheck, free on the job training.

Perfect solution.....NO, but then you're not exactly in a perfect situation now. With only a HS education, you really don't have the qualifications to get a job that pays much more than minimum wage. Go in a get a skill that will translate to the outside. Aviation mechanic, electrician or other some such skill. Do your four years, get a trade, and then get out. GO NAVY!!!

Agree with this 100%, except.. GO AIR FORCE!

[G-Prime]

So' date=' he gets live in poverty with a high stress job, a new baby, and a wife he doesn't know.

That's a recipe for success.[/quote']

I've seen some pretty damn nice base housing

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

I've seen some pretty damn nice base housing

So he is going to marry this woman he barely knows, take her to God knows what military town, throw her in a house with a kid, and hope for the best?

Everyone seems to be forgetting that there is another person here.

Does she get a say in any of this while we plan her life?

So far....we've decided that she is definitely having the baby.

They are definitely living together if not getting married.

And now we have her backing up her 1994 Ford Escort and moving Hampton Roads or something.

Can we get her a job as a phone psychic while we are at it?

[G-Prime]

So he is going to marry this woman he barely knows' date=' take her to God knows what military town, throw her in a house with a kid, and hope for the best?

Everyone seems to be forgetting that there is another person here.

Does she get a say in any of this while we plan her life?

So far....we've decided that she is definitely having the baby.

They are definitely living together if not getting married.

And now we have her backing up her 1994 Ford Escort and moving Hampton Roads or something.

Can we get her a job as a phone psychic while we are at it?[/quote']

Your forgetting the world isn't perfect, from the way it sounds he doesn't have a lot of options at this point. You do what you have to do to survive.

No one is telling him to marry her or not, and for those of you who say you can't get to know someone in 3 months are full of crap. Only trump card here is age, neither one of them are who they'll be in 10 years. But that doesn't mean they won't still be compatible. Life happens, you can't control it, you have to deal with what it throws at you.. You can either lay down and die or take care of business.

Sorry but our young friends problems don't fit in a nice neat perfect little box and nice neat perfect little suggestions aren't going to help him out. The Military is always an option and it is a good one. If he cares at all about supporting the child it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to look into regardless if he decides to marry this girl or not.

Military wouldn't be my first choice either.. He has a few months to try to find suitable employment, if he can't then what is he supposed to do, live on the street with a child so he doesn't have to endure the poverty of base housing?

Grow up, the world doesn't give a **** about your problems and answers don't magically appear.

[Redd]

^^^^^

I hear what you're saying but this kid only has a high school education. I'm not saying he has to go to the military but it's a great(imo) option he should consider. His family will definitely get taken care of and if he picks the right field, should he hate the military life he'll have the proper education and training to either go to college on the governments dime or get a nice paying job.

Wow I'm surprised at all the responses that the military is a bad choice. All I'm saying is he should at least consider it.

[Special K]

Hey bud, I don't have any parenting advice as I don't have children.

However, I would like to offer some words of encouragement. From everything I read from you, it sounds like you and your girlfriend are stepping up and doing the right thing. I wish you and your girlfriend only the best as you face a challenging (yet rewarding from what I heard from people who have children) future.

EDIT: And I don't think the military is as bad of an option as some posters are making it out to be.

[DeanCollins]

now is an excellent time to see europe as a single man.

[Siven]

Hello ES. I really don't have a better place to go so I am asking for any advice any of you might have.

I am 18 years old and just hours ago read the positive pregnancy test to my 19 year old girlfriend of only 3 months. I will be a father this time next year. We are pretty certain that we are keeping it and she said she'd like to get married.

I graduated high school in June. I am not in college and am unemployed as of 3 weeks ago. I am currently looking for jobs wherever I can find them but the market is tough here. All I have going is an interview at Wendy's today :/

I hoped to one day be a firefighter but fire school is going to cost me about $2,000 and I have no money. I am not sure what to do career wise since I know I need to support a family and I need money very soon, not in 4 years.

Also, I'm not sure how to tell my family. My parents are very good parents and will ultimately support us but they are rather conservative and will be a bit bitter at me. Also, I'm the 4th of 5 children and I'm going to be the 1st to have a kid, even though the older ones are 32, 27, and 20... so that kinda feels strange as well.

And before you tell me I should've been more careful, believe me, lesson learned. Of course that dosen't solve my problem.

And to all the other guys out there: BE MORE CAREFUL THAN I WAS.

So really I am asking for any advice or knowledge any one has to offer on any of this.

Thank you.

Here's what I would do, I'm 20, barely your senior.

Absolutely do not get married to this girl. You have the responsibility to the child if she indeed decides to keep it. You most likely LIKE this girl a bit, in no ways does that mean you LOVE her. You should marry someone who you LOVE. Don't get married to someone you like for a child when you'll probably be unhappy the whole time and that'll be bad for the child.

[Boss_Hogg]

But I don't think abortion is an acceptable method of birth control. I had my chance with birth control and I blew it. Now it's time to man up.

I just don't feel comfortable ending my childs life. I think that's understandable. And I don't feel comfortable giving the kid away either.

This is my kid, my responsibility and I am going to be the best father I can be.

:applause:

I'm very proud of you,

You all can still make it!

EDIT: It will be much easier to be a firefighter with military experience.

Have you ever thought about enrolling in the army?

[jnhay]

Don't listen to this guy ^^ :doh: You know you messed up and now you're trying to make it right. Its good to hear that you are manning up to the responsibility where so many others do not today.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world. Perseverance and consistency are a must. No matter what, don't give up on your soon-to-be marriage and family.

It wasn't that long ago that 18 was normal for forming a family. :2cents:

And you're parents? They might get mad for while, but grandkids have a way of changing that. Be honest with them. Tell them you messed up, but that now the course is set and you have to be a man.

I have three kids myself, so I know a little about them. PM if you want to talk about anything.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting, but you're actually suggesting he marry a girl he's known for 3 months because they're having a baby?

[Thiebear]

Fact of Life:

You never get in more trouble or have a grudge against you more than for lying to your parents. They spent 18 years telling you to tell the truth.. Do it.

Be true to your child: As a single dad to a 11month old and 4 year old (5 years ago) I knew nothing and was scared to death. Love and kind words go a long way. Pay attention, pay attention, pay attention, WANT to be with him/her and your golden.

[BigDFan5]

My advice is to look into making a career in the Navy or Air Force. They have great benefits especially for families.

[robotfire]

If you want to be a fire fighter, that is a legitimate career path. I'm not sure what's involved in it, but you should try to do the training. Get a loan, help from family, or something like that. You'll have to work a job while you do the school, too. You need to save up some money, because it's going to get really hard when the baby's born. Pizza delivery is some pretty easy money while you train for fire fighting. I got through college while doing that. What's your driving record like? Look into Geico and stuff like that, too.

Kids aren't the end of the world. This isn't the ideal situation to have them, but do the best you can with what you've got. I think that getting married is a good idea if it's at all possible. Sometimes it's not possible, and that's something you have to figure out.

EDIT: This military idea isn't half bad.

[Reic]

My sister found out she was pregnant on our 19th birthday (we are twins).

I was adamant about her keeping the child, my dad was pushing for abortion.

Looking back, abortion was the best thing for her. Having a kid with a girlfriend of 3 months and getting married will = divorce.

Odds are against that, bud.

Goodluck.

[Reic]

Also, my dad was a firefighter for 25 years, it is a very good job if you can deal the 24 on 24 off shifts, and potential boredom all day long.

Good pay, great co-workers.

He got paid very well, and they pay you in training.

Now, training is very difficult, but if you are in good shape, you'll be fine.

[Hunny]

Don't marry at 18. That is all I've got to say.

[Soup]

My cousin had a child at 16 and It has hurt him in every way, he couldn't finish school, he has a difficult time finding good work. The mother and he have separted, she lives in Dallas and he's here. The child moves from Dallas to here and it just seems wrong. My cousin is 31 now and though he has a steady job, working 12hours a day, he's living pay check to pay check and has nothing to show for it.

I asked him wasn't it hard having a child at that age and don't you regret having her so young? He told me, " not at all, everytime I look at her face, I don't regret anything".