spanishomelette Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?S=71&F=1348#S=71&F=1348&T=476919 RedClaw wrote: Greetings, oh you sad and forlorn followers of the most pathetically inept organization in all of professional sports, it is I, RedClaw, back once again to grace your sorry excuse for a messageboard with insightful nuggets of knowledge concerning the impending maelstrom heading into the crime-ridden District of Columbia on October 21st, otherwise known as the perennial World Champion Mighty Arizona Fighting Cardinals! It would at first seem impossible to improve what already looks to be the perfect professional football team, but that is exactly what the Mighty Cards succeeded in doing this offseason. After a stellar career in the desert with an impressive string of championships, Hall of Fame Head Coach Dennis Green decided to retire, handing control of the finely tuned machine that is the Fighting Cards to a more than capable Ken "the Wiseguy" Whisenhunt, who immediately hired Russ "the Reaper" Grimm, the only former Washington Deadskin that actually was any good, to mold the already formidable Cardinal offensive line into an impenetrable wall. Combine that with the stellar draft day selections of the best offensive and defensive linemen available in Levi Brown and Alan Branch, and the Cards will once again dominate the lines of scrimmage, crushing all opposition with ease! I know that it is hard for you fans of the bottom dwelling Washington Deadskins to grasp the concept of success, championships and the sweet taste of victory, but at least you can gather a little sense of satisfaction knowing that the sad sack collection of mediocre players that you call a "team" provides the rest of the fans of the NFL with much needed comic relief, not to mention an automatic W on the schedule of those teams lucky enough to play them! It makes me laugh just thinking about the history of the Deadskins, the embarassing losses and lack of Championships which is unparalleled in all of sports. The way in which you continue to support this train wreck of an organization is a tribute to your determination, or an indication of your complete moronity! Let me once again forewarn you ignorant fools of the impending doom headed your way October 21st. The Mighty Cards will take no prisoners, abusing your inept defense with the Leagues' most impressive and potent offensive attack. "The Edge" Edgerrin James will steamroll over your weak and doddering defensive line, racking up close to 300 yards on the ground, while Matt the "Lionheart" Leinart will shred your Pop Warner secondary with surgical strikes, making your felon safeties literally wet their pants as they watch Anquan "Lightning Bolt" Boldin and Larry "Thunder" Fitzgerald speed past them on their way to at least 200 receiving yards and 5 touchdowns each. Untold offensive records will be broken on that fateful day, all at the expense of the absolute worst defense in the history of the NFL, that of the sorry Washington Deadskins! As if the offensive beating isn't enough, the stout defense of the World Champ Cardinals will exact a horrible punishment upon the laughably moribound offense of your bottom feeding Deadskins. I certainly hope that Fed-Ex Field has enough stretchers and amublances to haul away the injured offensive players to the hospital, as the new and soon to be all pro DT Alan Branch and pro bowl stud DE Chike "the Freakie" Okeafor will beat up on them like red headed step children, quite possibly ending the career of several of your players. It will be quite a brutal display of domination and power, as the Mighty Arizona Card defense wipes the field with the Deadskin offense, which of course is truly offensive! Don't say that you weren't warned, oh you followers of the worst team in the League. I would feel bad for you, but since you have never experienced any sort of winning tradition, you are already used to losing, and losing badly! Of course, your game will be nothing more than a speed bump on the way to yet another SB for the World Champ Mighty Arizona Cardinals, a team with so many championship trophies we had to build a new stadium just to store them! I relish the feeling of yet another World Championship, a feeling that you fools have yet to experience. See you losers in October! Go Cards GO All The Way To The Super Bowl! FEAR THE CLAW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaimeDeCurry Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 LOL. Self-deprecating humor is the best kind. Love this post. Too many people are going to come on here and completely and utterly miss the point. Makes me sad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deejaydana Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 "They're who we thought they were!" (that presser after the Cards meltdown to the Bears on that Monday Nighter was an instant classic and something I'll always remember Gary Coleman, er, Dennis Green by) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dockeryfan Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 You wanna crown em? Then crown their azz. For those that don't know Redclaw, HE IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS... AND WE LET HIM OFF THE HOOK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justsomeguy Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 LMFAO! Hehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwaysaskin Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 He is who we thought he was, you wanna crown him then crown his @zz! But he is who we thought he was! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
d0ublestr0ker0ll Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Looks like Pittman4two moved to Arizona... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fan since a Fetus Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 That was pretty darn funny. I hope we remember this thread before the game. I will probably need a good laugh then! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forever21 Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Haha now that was a good read! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Money Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Looks like Pittman4two moved to Arizona... Exactly what I thought :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoCommiesGo Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 The Scarlet Birds of War are coming. Sweet Jesus run, run like the wind and hide. Great find by the way, great find. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[[ghost]] Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Well he is what we thought he was. and then we let him off the hook :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Red Claw was Pittman4Two before Pittman4Two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LightAgent Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Cardinals are appetizers. Eagles are dinner!!! Very funny article Go Skins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drunken Master III Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Arizona still has a team? :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sniffler Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 "I know that it is hard for you fans of the bottom dwelling Washington Deadskins to grasp the concept of success, championships and the sweet taste of victory,..." Championships???? ... wow... do the Cards have any??? This is funny... I love this post!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba9497 Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Lenny is that you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 haha great post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooksflow Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Last I heard the University of Phoenix Online was lobbying for inclusion in the BCS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowhunter Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Those St.Louis fans are crazy......oh wait Missouri kicked them outta state. Where do they play now?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bowhunter Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 Even Moses was punished to 40 years lost in the desert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onnie007 Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 You wanna crown em? Then crown their azz.For those that don't know Redclaw, HE IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS... AND WE LET HIM OFF THE HOOK! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Hilarious post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePreciating Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I don't get it. I mean yeah I guess he's joking, but why the Redskins? If he's being totally sarcastic, pick a GOOD team. Picking us makes it sound like he's serious. Like it matters either way......if we lose to Arizona, I'll eat my hat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aston Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I certainly hope that Fed-Ex Field has enough stretchers and amublances to haul away the injured offensive players to the hospital, as the new and soon to be all pro DT Alan Branch and pro bowl stud DE Chike "the Freakie" Okeafor will beat up on them like red headed step children, quite possibly ending the career of several of your players. It will be quite a brutal display of domination and power, as the Mighty Arizona Card defense wipes the field with the Deadskin offense, which of course is truly offensive!Bless your heart, Red Claw. Bless your heart. That's good stuff right there.Does this guy have a template and send this homer-ade to every NFL team's message board? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REDMAN7 Posted May 3, 2007 Share Posted May 3, 2007 I always wondered why any NFL team would name themselves the CARDINALS. Why not the Parakeets? Or perhaps the Pigeons? They too are harmless birds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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