Vent - for those who coach kids sports and have been accused of racism

[ntotoro]

Scottie Reynolds and his (white) parents once accused my wife of being racist for giving him an "F" on a report card in High School... :paranoid:

[stoshuaj]

thanks............:applause:

public = public, and that includes a-holes

private = private, which means you should be able to limit participation (unless, you are a golf course in Augusta, Ga.....)

[Die Hard]

I had a similar situation last year.... but it had nothing to do with race.

After my inaugural season coaching football.... whereby one of the parents gave me the HARDEST time because he was over-protective of his kid and thought his kid was a superstar... I had a handful of encounters with the parent that eventually was brought to the attention of the league administrators.

The parent had the choice of moving his kid to another team.... but of course, he didn't take it because it was so close to the beginning of the season and I have no doubt he figured there would be NO WAY his kid would end up as a starting RB on another team so late in the training.

So I had to live with this parent the whole season... attempting to turn the parents against me every practice on the sidelines and undermining my program.

So that very next offseason... before tackle football season began... I began to run an offseason flag football program for the kids who would be returning to the team to participate in (voluntarily). I rented the gyms... paid out of pocket... paid for insurance.. and then invited the kids I wanted to participate as well as invite their friends and prospective players.

However, I didn't invite the kid with the troublesome parent... as it was my intention (and the league officials) to offer them the alternative to move to another team the following season and I figured he would accept it. Plus, I just didn't want to have anything more to do with the guy... the type of lying two-faced parent that you HAVE to have a tape-recorder for your conversations or he'll lie to everybody.. and threaten to sue you and go to the papers.

So, of course, the parent gets wind of the program and gets personally offended that his son isn't invited... and calls the league officials to complain about discrimination. The league informs him that my personal flag football program has NOTHING to do with the league and they can't do a thing about it. He threatens to go to the paper, etc... and I dare him to.

As far as I'm concerned... it's a private practice sessions where I personally invite my friends to use the time to play... I don't have to let joe public or anyone play that I don't wish to.

Long story short.... he moved his kid to another program. Of course, it didn't stop him from carry a vendetta to get me removed from coaching my football team. He tried everything... even spreading lies and making false accusations. But I stood by my credentials and honesty (I run a clean program, never broke a rule and keep all receipts)... and if he ever took me to court... I know I'd win and I'd counter for him to pay my legal fees as well.

I'm sure it pisses him off to no end after we went 5-3 last year (claiming the first winning season in team history - of 7 years) and winning our first games in 6 years... making the playoffs (before losing to his son's team in the semis) as well as winning the Coach of the Year for my division and getting elected to the league executive for the next 2 years.

Now, when he sees me, he shakes my hand and pretends to congratulate me on a job well-done... but I know he's a big phony who's just wating for me to screw up.

[stoshuaj]

**Unfortunately, you gave Little League and Babe Ruth as examples, which arent publicly sponsered as far as I know.**

I know, I know,,,,,,I was only using them as examples of organizations. Since I used the word "public" in the text of the question........I figured that would be enough..........

my bad

[Sisyphus]

Are you denying the kid because of the parent or because of the kid himself? Or both?

Both ... but if circumstances were different we could probably turn the kid around.

[Blighty Skins]

I don't know why you all bother...personally I'd tell them all to eff off them and their kids.

[Sisyphus]

I had a similar situation last year.... but it had nothing to do with race.

snip

It's strange ... a guy who spent the whole season being openly critical of you then is offended when you don't include him in a small private session. :laugh:

We are in the same situation ... after two years of criticism and second-guessing the voluntary coaching we provide, this mother is offended that we won't include her in the program. :doh::laugh:

[Die Hard]

In my instance.... after my incidents with the parent and speaking it over with the league executive.... I agreed not to punish the kid in any way or let my encounters have an effect on the child. He was an above average player who didn't give me any problems until those events.

Sure enough... after I speak with the league officials and resolve the issue... for the rest of the season... the kid started chucking me and the rest of the coaches attitude. Now, stupid little injuries was keeping him out of the practices... he'd get pissy when you'd put in his replacement for snaps... wouldn't go back into the game when he was needed due to injury, etc.

I'm not sure if the parent said anything to the kid directly... but kids pick up on the fact that you're trashing the coach as you're speaking to your wife about how incompetent he is... or after games when dad says he should have played you more or not put this kid in this position, etc. I'm sure that's exactly what happened.

And of course, I have to deal with the kid now who has become a problem... and risk the followup damage as a result.

In the end, I moved him from RB to CB on defense... just because he wasn't responding to me and learning the playbook any more. He went from a kid who knew the playbook to a kid who consistently started missing assignments.

Of course, the parent wanted me to apologize to the kid after the season for mentioning we might try him at QB... and then never did. Crazy stuff.

[Sisyphus]

I don't know why you all bother...personally I'd tell them all to eff off them and their kids.

That's what we did to some - but apparently we weren't clear enough. :laugh:

[Sisyphus]

Of course, the parent wanted me to apologize to the kid after the season for mentioning we might try him at QB... and then never did. Crazy stuff.

It's insane. Be sure to mail him a copy of the head coaching application so he can run his own team in the way he sees fit.

A another recent example of parent behavior at a game. In the past Winter my pre-teen son played in a low key recreational level basketball league. It was the second round of the playoffs and they were twenty points behind with a few minutes to go against the eventual league winners. There's no way they will make up the difference and so both teams are just playing the game out, and one of the parents of the winning team is all over the refs screaming over every call.:doh: :laugh:

[Sisyphus]

And another one ... in a local football league, one of the coaches had friends who played pro show up to a practice to talk to the kids.

Parents on other teams complained so much that their kids were missing out that the league oragnizers asked the coach responsible not to do it again.:doh::laugh:

[Zguy28]

What are you suggesting? That they have a right to join any program? We are excluding someone based on past behavior. From their reaction, they are an even worse person than we had realized before we made the decision that they would not be welcome.

Boy, and Southern Baptists get castigated for asking members to leave who are openly gay. After all its based on past performance right?

Meh thinks the liberal "United Church of Christ" wouldn't like your attitude very much.

[Die Hard]

And another one ... in a local football league, one of the coaches had friends who played pro show up to a practice to talk to the kids.

Parents on other teams complained so much that their kids were missing out that the league oragnizers asked the coach responsible not to do it again.:doh::laugh:

Actually, I could see that happening in our league as well.

And the parents that would be barking up the tree the loudest would be the ones whose kids never participate in any team event or any kind of fundraising... and then moan how their kids deserve the same opportunities as the rest of the kids who go above and beyond the bare minimum.

[Lombardi's_kid_brother]

My father is a school administrator. A few of his teaching friends ran a youth basketball league that in my experience is still the best youth league I've ever seen.

First of all, none of the men running the league had any kids involved. They had their kids refereeing and keeping score and such (and paid them) but had no interest in the outcome of the games.

They had no fundraisers. You paid a fee to enter the league. And they charged attendance. Little League turns the kids into Amway salesmen.

They severely limited practice and game time. You had one hour a week to practice. And two one-hour games each week. That's it. I've had Little League coaches run 3-hour practices.

Star players could not completely dominate. The most a player could play was 3/4 of the game (6 out of out 8 3-minute periods). Every player had to play at least 3 out of 8 periods. And there was no full-court press.

Teenagers ran everything. It was a great part-time job and you never ended up with an adult parent and an adult ref in a fight.

Finally, my dad and his friends were kind of nuts. They banned one parent for life. His kids could play but he was never allowed to be inside at a game or practice. They were known for giving full refunds on the spot if a parent complained about playing time, etc.

[Sisyphus]

Actually, I could see that happening in our league as well.

And the parents that would be barking up the tree the loudest would be the ones whose kids never participate in any team event or any kind of fundraising... and then moan how their kids deserve the same opportunities as the rest of the kids who go above and beyond the bare minimum.

Actually ... the woman who inspired the original post sent us an e-mail last year saying we could apply for grants for shoes and clothing for the kids. We asked if she could work with some of the other parents to co-ordinate this as we didn't have time to do this what with spending at least ten hours every week coaching and preparing for practices and competitions, but she explained she was much too busy.:laugh:

[Mooney]

Before moving to the Eastern Shore, I used to coach HS football in Baltimores inner-city. One year we played Edmonson in the city championship. We lost after some questionable calls were made in the 2nd half.

As we were walking to the bus, one of our players mother, who we had never seen before, was yelling "the refs cheated, blah, blah, blah....". Our head coach turned to her and said "we weren't cheated, they played well, etc.".

She looked at us and screamed, "Fu** you you bunch of crackers! etc."

Her embarrased son, our star linebacker, dragged her away.

[Beaudry]

The kid has reasonable talent ... but we choose not to waste our time on kids of this color, and parents of this color. That's why pursuing the issue is against my better judgement as we hoped by keeping lazy kids of this color and their trouble parents of this color OUT of the program we'd avoid these kids of issues and people of this color. :doh::laugh:

It just pisses me off so much when someone of this color who gives nothing feels entitled to make those kinds of accusations. I need a parent volunteer of my color to sign up for the role of team rottweiler/legal counsel and set them in attack mode. :redpunch:

Racist? I dunno, it's tough to say.

[Sisyphus]

Racist? I dunno, it's tough to say.

If you want to make a point, I request that you don't do it by misquoting what I posted and portraying me as an overt racist. :mad:

When in fact it's you, and only you who is thinking like that.

Our team and coaching staff include the ethnicity of the parent we do not want as a member.

What exactly is your point?

[PokerPacker]

If you want to make a point, I request that you don't do it by misquoting what I posted and portraying me as an overt racist. :mad:

What exactly is your point?

i thought it was supposed to be a joke :confused:

[Sisyphus]

i thought it was supposed to be a joke :confused:

I think we have icons to help make those kind of points.

[Beaudry]

If you want to make a point, I request that you don't do it by misquoting what I posted and portraying me as an overt racist. :mad:

When in fact it's you, and only you who is thinking like that.

Our team and coaching staff include the ethnicity of the parent we do not want as a member.

What exactly is your point?

Don't sass back at me, you racist!

[paredskinsfan]

I coach a junior NFL team in my area and I'll tell you right now when I have a child(who is my second string tailback) really wants to be there bustin his ass at practice and my first string running back who thinks he is already at star status lolly-gaggin around at practice because he might have more natural talent, well guess which one will be riding pine during game time. I think thats one of the big problems with kids today looking up to players such as T.O. . So I promote the kid busting his ass to starter and guess what? He is white and my now second string "star" has a mixed background and imediatly I'm a racist....no sorry mom and dad your kid is just lazyand has an attitude problem. I agree the racist card is getting old and it is a crutch. If I am racist towards anyone it is Italians my wife is sicilian....j/k