Is there really such a thing as a nice fun guy????

[redskins2redskins]

I still love men,so this isn't male bashing at all.

I'm just curious,I'm going thru a rough time now,and it seems like alot of what I find is game playing.

It seems like all guys want these days is good looks,sex and for their women to have money.

Can they not be friends with a female and just listen and care what she is dealing with? And that works both ways of course.

Do any care about heart?

I can't help but ask these questions.

I've lost faith in men almost completely and maybe it's just the bad ones I've came across,the stuck up ones.

And I'm still married so it's not like I can really be looking for someone except as a friend at this time,what's wrong with having male friends? Especially when you know your marriage is not going to work out.

I just don't understand the insensitivity.(there is a story behind this,I just can't explain it here,too long)

I will say this to anyone who might be doing it.

Don't string one person along in any way,if your just waiting for something better to come along. That's just mean period.

So both sexes tell me what you think.

And if you have your own story of how you believe you were done wrong,lay it on the table.

Hey,it might make us all feel better.

I figured this would be the perfect place for me to sound off. I know I may get all kinds of responses good and bad.

HTTR

[Commander_N_Chief]

Well if it makes you feel any better R2R, I am currently trying to get to Maine to be with a girl I've had a huge crush on since 9th grade...unfortunately she moved from Manassas. Last night we sat on the phone for 7hrs and both have agreed things would not involve sex more than likely until the possibility of marriage. I also sang her to sleep last night. Plus we're not all shallow, some of us would rather be entertained by the girl not the body.

Not to mention the fact, that the girl i was once engaged to and i was with for 2 years cheated on me with my ex best friend...and got pregnate with his child. So I too can understand your feelings towards the opposite sex, but if you find the right one...you gotta do everything in your power to make it work.

[Kosher Ham]

What man that isnt interested in sleeping with you wants to listen to all of your marital problems ?

Ohh, I know. A gay man.

Sorry for being insensitive, but I really dont know what type of answers you are looking for.

You can have male friends that are cool and give you advice, and listen what-have- you but typically they will be married men themselves and need to take care of their own business at home.

[jsevier]

I won't offer up my opinion just yet but I gladly will later. In the mean time this should get interesting!

[CandaceM23]

I feel your pain. I've come to realize that asking questions here really isn't going to help. A lot of the guys at this site are a little perverted and think that women are/should be submissive to men.

People, men and women both play games. It's sick and it's ridiculous, but unfortunately thats just how some people are. There's no need to string people along, but some sickos actually get some pleasure from this.

My best advice, don't date until you are truly ready to date. I know that you're going through some tough times, but unless you're truly over the old jerk, it's not a good idea to date. I tell my girlfriends this all of the time. You can't make the pain and heartache go away by trying to find someone to replace the jerk or make you forget about the jerk ....

Dating is never easy. When I've found people that I thought were decent, they always turn out to be asses or they're not the right person for me. I've decided to stop looking for a date ... It's much easier and much less stress. It's given me the ability to focus on doing what I want without having to make anyone else happy.

[Henry]

Everyone has their own experiences. I can't comment on yours. But honestly, you are complaining about people, not men.

[Sarge]

I feel your pain. I've come to realize that asking questions here really isn't going to help. A lot of the guys at this site are a little perverted and think that women are/should be submissive to men.

Hey, perverts need love too :laugh:

Seriously, that's kind of a sad outlook

[Sarge]

I still love men,so this isn't male bashing at all.

I'm just curious,I'm going thru a rough time now,and it seems like alot of what I find is game playing.

It seems like all guys want these days is good looks,sex and for their women to have money.

Can they not be friends with a female and just listen and care what she is dealing with? And that works both ways of course.

Do any care about heart?

I can't help but ask these questions.

I've lost faith in men almost completely and maybe it's just the bad ones I've came across,the stuck up ones.

And I'm still married so it's not like I can really be looking for someone except as a friend at this time,what's wrong with having male friends? Especially when you know your marriage is not going to work out.

I just don't understand the insensitivity.(there is a story behind this,I just can't explain it here,too long)

I will say this to anyone who might be doing it.

Don't string one person along in any way,if your just waiting for something better to come along. That's just mean period.

So both sexes tell me what you think.

And if you have your own story of how you believe you were done wrong,lay it on the table.

Hey,it might make us all feel better.

I figured this would be the perfect place for me to sound off. I know I may get all kinds of responses good and bad.

HTTR

You'd be surprised how many of my buds think the same thing.

I wouldn't get into anything new at this time. I know it sucks being alone, but rebound stuff never works out.

Relax. You'll bump into the right person.

[CandaceM23]

Hey, perverts need love too :laugh:

Seriously, that's kind of a sad outlook

Yeah ... but it's true. Just look at this board and read things ... you'll understand why I said what I said.

[Commander_N_Chief]

Yeah ... but it's true. Just look at this board and read things ... you'll understand why I said what I said.

Yes but then there are some of us, who wind up with the bad name of every one else.

[endzone_dave]

You're better off talking to a female friend about your relationship problems. That's something that we men aren't good at. When my wife gets together with her friends they spend a lot of their time talking about their problems. When I get together with my friends, we never have heart-to-heart talks about our problems. We're just geared that way.

Like a previous poster said, if you find a caring, sensitive guy that wants to listen to your relationship problems and give advice to help you, he's probably gay.

[Mr. S]

unless you have a close male friend who is married or has a gf, or has known you for a while, chances are, most guys don't wanna make friends with women who are already taken. I myself may meet a girl who is taken, and not really feel as likely to talk to her again unless I have to like at work or am not attracted to her. It's not necessarily not being nice, it's just that a single guy would rather spend time meeting new people who are single, again unless they see a lot of friend potential in them.

It's like being the third wheel or something basically. I just figure at your age though, there are enough people who are willing to become friends, as many more people are married by then.

Ill say though even in my last relationship, sure like every college student I had certain things on my mind, but I also enjoyed just hanging out, being around her, etc, to a point where the physical things did not matter as much.

[Air Force Cane]

a 19 year old whose recent girlfriend slept with his best friend and got pregnant should not be making plans to move 1,000 miles to marry a different girl.

Of that I am absolutely positively correct.

as to the original poster- best advice is not look for a male girlfriend.

divorce your husband. take a few months on your own with your friends. then start dating or spending time with males. trying to "be friends" with men while in a bad marriage considering divorce- is just begging for problems psychologically, morally, and emotionally.

[Commander_N_Chief]

a 19 year old whose recent girlfriend slept with his best friend and got pregnant should not be making plans to move 1,000 miles to marry a different girl.

Of that I am absolutely positively correct.

as to the original poster- best advice is not look for a male girlfriend.

divorce your husband. take a few months on your own with your friends. then start dating or spending time with males. trying to "be friends" with men while in a bad marriage considering divorce- is just begging for problems psychologically, morally, and emotionally.

No no no, AFC you may have misunderstood me. I never said we was already talking marriage, but it was said that we men just think sex all the time. And was pointing out that me and the girl have basically decided no sex until if there was a marriage.

[KDawg]

Can they not be friends with a female and just listen and care what she is dealing with? And that works both ways of course.

Do any care about heart?

HTTR

Well, it's funny you say this cuz the answer is "yes."

I tried this with a female that I adore for 7 months of talking, but she "didn't want a relationship because she wanted to be alone". So, if you're wondering why chivalry is dying, it's probably because women are killing it. Sorry, a little bitter.

I listened to her problems because I knew she needed someone to.

[Xameil]

What man that isnt interested in sleeping with you wants to listen to all of your marital problems ?

Ohh, I know. A gay man.

Sorry for being insensitive, but I really dont know what type of answers you are looking for.

You can have male friends that are cool and give you advice, and listen what-have- you but typically they will be married men themselves and need to take care of their own business at home.

sometimes some should be seen and not heard...I'm glad not all share your outlook and opinions

A lot of the guys at this site are a little perverted

hey I'm insulted......I'm alot perverted thank you

a 19 year old whose recent girlfriend slept with his best friend and got pregnant should not be making plans to move 1,000 miles to marry a different girl.

yeah, probably not the best person to listen to...1st 19 yrs old...2nd just got wicked burned...moving to Maine not exactly your answer..what happens if you move thousands of miles away to be with someone.....ask r2r...she'll tell ya.

[chomerics]

I feel your pain. I've come to realize that asking questions here really isn't going to help. A lot of the guys at this site are a little perverted and think that women are/should be submissive to men.

True, but not ALL men here are like that, there are a few who actually do have a mind, and know how to treat women

People, men and women both play games. It's sick and it's ridiculous, but unfortunately thats just how some people are. There's no need to string people along, but some sickos actually get some pleasure from this.

I agree, and you do admit that is does go both ways. Judging people's personalities is something that is very hard to do when blinded by love. You can listen to your friends tell you he/she is wrong, but until you finally realize this yourself, you will never see what other people are talking about. There are scumbags in all walks of life, and it is up to you, as a person, to discern the scumbags from the honest to goodness real people out there. Everyone should try to surround themselves with people who are great, and to treat others the way you like to be treated, it isn't that hard to do, really

My best advice, don't date until you are truly ready to date. I know that you're going through some tough times, but unless you're truly over the old jerk, it's not a good idea to date. I tell my girlfriends this all of the time. You can't make the pain and heartache go away by trying to find someone to replace the jerk or make you forget about the jerk ....

I disagree with you here, as the first thing I do when I go through a breakup is to "jump right back in the saddle". Maybe it is small of me to do so, but I try to put the past behind me and not bring anything into another relationship. I try to live for the future, while learning from the past. It is easier for me to get over a woman if I go out and start dating. It gives me a confidence and ego boost, and helps me remind myself that there are a zillion women out there, and that I just haven't found the right one yet. Everyone is different though, and I know it takes many girls time to get over a relationship and being hurt, guys too, I guess I am just different.

I remember a quote in the movie Say Anything, when Lloyd was dumped. One of his friends says "What you need to do is go out, find a girl that looks just like her, and nail her". I always found the quote amusing, but there is a lot of truth to it. Not in the "nail her" part, but in the essence of getting back into the swing of things. It is how to move on and go forward, while stopping the bleeding. As long as the woman know what she is getting herself into, there should be no issues or problems. Just be upfront, and tell the woman that you broke up recently and you are not looking for anything serious right now. There are plenty of women players out there that do not mind, and i see absolutely nothing wrong with it as long as both know what they are getting into.

Dating is never easy. When I've found people that I thought were decent, they always turn out to be asses or they're not the right person for me. I've decided to stop looking for a date ... It's much easier and much less stress. It's given me the ability to focus on doing what I want without having to make anyone else happy.

I disagree, dating is a blast!!! I always loved the anticipation of the first date, and meeting the person for the first time. You get to exchange stories, talk about dreams, desires, your life, who you are and what you are all about. You also get to listen to someone tell you the same thing about their lives, you can feel the sexual tension in the air, and you try to understand what their opinion of you is. I was always keen to the hair flip, ****ed head smile as a great sign that she is into you, you can see the signs if you know what you are looking for. The best part is when you have that instant attraction, it is just an amazing feeling. Dating is great, but relationships are better, and getting to know someone inside and out, good and bad is what life is about. Sharing your dreams and desires, then watching as they are fulfilled with a significant other is an amazing feeling, and something I would never give up on. I would never become jaded by the opposite sex because I've had a few rotten apples, there is always that diamond in the rough, the problem is finding it in the cornucopia of life

[Sarge]

I disagree, dating is a blast!!! I always loved the anticipation of the first date, and meeting the person for the first time. You get to exchange stories, talk about dreams, desires, your life, who you are and what you are all about. You also get to listen to someone tell you the same thing about their lives, you can feel the sexual tension in the air, and you try to understand what their opinion of you is. I was always keen to the hair flip, ****ed head smile as a great sign that she is into you, you can see the signs if you know what you are looking for. The best part is when you have that instant attraction, it is just an amazing feeling. Dating is great, but relationships are better, and getting to know someone inside and out, good and bad is what life is about. Sharing your dreams and desires, then watching as they are fulfilled with a significant other is an amazing feeling, and something I would never give up on. I would never become jaded by the opposite sex because I've had a few rotten apples, there is always that diamond in the rough, the problem is finding it in the cornucopia of life

What was someone saying about guys that like to listen to all your stories?:laugh:

[CandaceM23]

I disagree with you here, as the first thing I do when I go through a breakup is to "jump right back in the saddle". Maybe it is small of me to do so, but I try to put the past behind me and not bring anything into another relationship. I try to live for the future, while learning from the past. It is easier for me to get over a woman if I go out and start dating. It gives me a confidence and ego boost, and helps me remind myself that there are a zillion women out there, and that I just haven't found the right one yet. Everyone is different though, and I know it takes many girls time to get over a relationship and being hurt, guys too, I guess I am just different.

Well, the reason why I say that jumping right back into dating isn't a good idea is because I don't think that it's fair. I don't think that it's fair to become intimate with someone emotionally and physically when you're heart is with someone else. Yes, you're hurting and it's going to probably feel good to forget about the jerk for a while, but what if that person truly takes a liking to you? It's not fair to be with them just because it's a temporary relief of the mental visions of the jerk .... That would be doing someone else wrong and leading them on and giving them false hope when you're asking someone to be gentle with your feelings ....

It's just my opinion.

I have a girlfriend who is recently divorced from her disgusting piece of **** husband. I always have been civil to the POS, but now, I don't need to be. But anyway, thats another story. My girlfriend is absolutely heartbroken because she misses the exhusband so much. She's been going out and dating and meeting some very nice men. She's open with these men and tells them that she's over the husband - but she's not. She comes home and cries after her dates because she misses him. She can't get him out of her mind and still tries to talk to him all of the time.

So she's going out on dates with these guys that think that there's potential for a relationship and they're really liking my gf, but in reality, there's no chance. Her heart hasn't mended all of the wounds for her to let go of the jerk. It's not fair for her to go out on dates and tell these guys that she's over the jerk and then come home and boo hoo her eyes out .... I just don't think that it's right.

And yes, being the outspoken ***** that I am, i've told her that she shouldn't be dating a million times.

[redskins2redskins]

What was someone saying about guys that like to listen to all your stories?:laugh:

Damn,you guys always spar even on a relationship thread-Keep it up,it's good drama:silly:

[twenty-eight]

You're ****ed either way...I always end up waiting too long. For some reason i feel the need to be friends with a female first. simply because if we can't get along as friends, being something more will never work out. So while I'm trying to figure out if she is right for me, the girl either thinks I'm no longer interested in her (more than a friend...) or she ends up losing interest in me.

[alexey]

Sounds like you are looking for a person that can make you feel better, to help you forget about your troubles. But forgetting about your troubles will not make you feel better. By trying to forget about them you are making them stronger and more painful.

Stop trying to find somebody who can bear the weight of what you are going through. If you stop running you will realize there is no weight to bear. You will see you made it all up in your head. Perhaps try writing to somebody you respect, somebody you think will understand you? You will essentially be writing to yourself, but that may help you see the situation you are in more clearly.

[Blondie]

I still love men,so this isn't male bashing at all.

I'm just curious,I'm going thru a rough time now,and it seems like alot of what I find is game playing.

It seems like all guys want these days is good looks,sex and for their women to have money.

Can they not be friends with a female and just listen and care what she is dealing with? And that works both ways of course.

Do any care about heart?

I can't help but ask these questions.

I've lost faith in men almost completely and maybe it's just the bad ones I've came across,the stuck up ones.

And I'm still married so it's not like I can really be looking for someone except as a friend at this time,what's wrong with having male friends? Especially when you know your marriage is not going to work out.

I just don't understand the insensitivity.(there is a story behind this,I just can't explain it here,too long)

I will say this to anyone who might be doing it.

Don't string one person along in any way,if your just waiting for something better to come along. That's just mean period.

So both sexes tell me what you think.

And if you have your own story of how you believe you were done wrong,lay it on the table.

Hey,it might make us all feel better.

I figured this would be the perfect place for me to sound off. I know I may get all kinds of responses good and bad.

HTTR

I have read this several times. And I seem to keep getting mixed signals here. Maybe I just have read it incorrectly.

I find is game playing.It seems like all guys want these days is good looks,sex and for their women to have money.

These days? This has not changed. BOTH sexes can be said to do this and BOTH sexes have done this. I will be very truthful.....looks are important. If I am not physically attracted to someone, then it will not go any farther. I like sex. If that is not good...it won't go farther either. I have dated rich men and poor men....and both can be wonderful and both can be jerks. Maybe, because I value both looks and sex, I am one of those jerks.

Can they not be friends with a female and just listen and care what she is dealing with? And that works both ways of course.Do any care about heart?

I am not sure what you mean about "heart". I have many guy friends....both married and single. I don't think any of them don't listen when I really need to talk......unless it is when they are at work.....and can't. But, I don't expect them to "listen" to me every day. I know I have to make decisions on my own.

I've lost faith in men almost completely and maybe it's just the bad ones I've came across,the stuck up ones.

Are they "stuck up" because they won't stop and listen to you? What makes them stuck up? Maybe they have things going on in their lives also. That doesnt make anyone stuck up.

And I'm still married so it's not like I can really be looking for someone except as a friend at this time,what's wrong with having male friends? Especially when you know your marriage is not going to work out.

You know your marriage is not going to work out....hmmmmmm......maybe these guys are concerned about the intentions. Might they think you are looking for a replacement for your husband?

Don't string one person along in any way,if your just waiting for something better to come along. That's just mean period.

This is the part I don't understand. How are they stringing YOU along, while they wait for something better, IF all you want is to be friends? Are they waiting for a better friend to come along?

Maybe the vibes you are putting out make the men that you seek THINK you are seeking more than a friend. Maybe, somehow, you are making them think you are seeking a relationship..no matter how unintentional.

This place has lots of different answers. Each of us brings our own experiences here.......thus.......the different answers.

And, like Candance said........some are just pervs. :laugh:

Blondie

[G-Prime]

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Likes to smell fat girls panty drawz(err I mean the guy above Blondie!)

<----Nice fun guy..

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V

Still lives with his mommy and plays DnD.

[Ax]

And I'm still married so it's not like I can really be looking for someone except as a friend at this time,what's wrong with having male friends?

Nothing at all, as long as they have been friends for a while. Trying to make NEW male friends, while still being married isn't very likely to happen. The guy who hangs around after you tell him you're married, is exactly the kind of guy you don't need as a friend.

Especially when you know your marriage is not going to work out.

If that's the case, then end it. You should resolve that problem before you take on the potential of another.

And of course I don't know your situation. But based on the little that you've shared, ending the marriage seems like the thing you are most sure about.

Or are you?