Ever had an affair with a married person?

[Henry]

All I can say is this. Sometimes its just a mad crazy chemistry that pulls two people together and you can't resist it. You both fight it, you talk about it, you tell each other it cannot and will not happen, and the next thing you know you are kissing her simply because you cannot stand one more second of not kissing her and it is flat out, hands down THE best kiss of your life.

Judge me if you must, tell me I'm going to hell, but I would do it again.

It isn't my place to judge you Mike. I'm only talking about myself. You do what you gotta do.

My only question to you is, could (or did) you give that speech to her husband? And how would (or did) he take it? If you felt that circumstances beyond your control dictated your actions, you should feel perfectly justified in telling him that. Otherwise, you're just lying to yourself.

In my opinion.

[rincewind]

It isn't my place to judge you Mike. I'm only talking about myself. You do what you gotta do.

My only question to you is, could (or did) you give that speech to her husband? And how would (or did) he take it? If you felt that circumstances beyond your control dictated your actions, you should feel perfectly justified in telling him that. Otherwise, you're just lying to yourself.

In my opinion.

You could even reverse it and say: "Would you buy that if your significant other told you that is why she had an affair"

[Henry]

You could even reverse it and say: "Would you buy that if your significant other told you that is why she had an affair"

Well, that's exactly right. If, in Mike's story, they then went and told her husband, and she left her husband and Mike and this woman then got married and spent the rest of their lives together, then yeah. I guess I could conceivably see myself in a situation like that. Maybe.

But that's not cheating or lying. That's being unfaithful (or being with someone who's unfaithful), and then accepting the consequences of your actions. To me there is a difference.

I don't know enough about Mike's situation to comment further.

[Destino]

Personally I've seen a lot of people claim they couldn't help it. 99 times out of 100 the people claiming this are guilty of putting themselves into a bad situation over and over again until something finally happens. They continue to call the person, hang out with the person, etc etc. If you find yourself in this situation and you don't want to sleep with a married person or cheat there is a simple solution - stop talking to them and hanging out with them.

[CandaceM23]

Personally I've seen a lot of people claim they couldn't help it. 99 times out of 100 the people claiming this are guilty of putting themselves into a bad situation over and over again until something finally happens. They continue to call the person, hang out with the person, etc etc. If you find yourself in this situation and you don't want to sleep with a married person or cheat there is a simple solution - stop talking to them and hanging out with them.

You're right on about this one ...

I have an acquantance ... who is a married man ... who basically dropped every hint that he could when he saw me - and the hints went ignored. He then proceeded to be a little more bold and tell me that he was so attracted blah blah blah ... and threw that whole scenario that Mad Mike mentioned out there.

I'm Catholic ... was raised Catholic ... and believe some of their teachings ... and I ended up telling the SOB that I wasn't going to hell for wrecking a marriage and committing adultery. He kept on ... I ended up cutting all ties with him because I didn't want to hear about it anymore.

[Kurd Cudins]

1. I wouldnt cheat on the person I love.

2. I wouldnt pick some whore to be my wife.

3. If my wife did cheat on me her ass would be on the street.

4. If you met my wife you would be in a hospital bed after i whipped your ass.

How do you know all men and women cheat? Oh thats right your a nasty ****er who has a excuse for everything, saying so many people do it gives you an excuse. You are a sad ****er with no morals. Some things are just wrong and ****ing another mans wife is one of them.

What I want to know is who convinced you that having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life makes you moral?

1. Good for you.

2. Ah! The law of assymetric information...look it up.

3. I thought you loved her, you are not willing to forgive her?

4. Settle down little boy.

Morals? Let me guess, you have been to church, maybe read the bible? I am sick of having to listen to "religious" people who think that because someone in the distant past told them to "marry" and be with only one woman, that there is only one way. Marriage is an invention of the human mind. It is a symbol of a greater love. For YOU, that love might be contingent on monogamy, but saying someone is immoral for not believeing what you do is ridiculous and goes against what this country stands for.

[rincewind]

I wouldn't do it because my wife and i basically have a zero tolerence rule when it comes to cheating - one time and were done (and that goes for if either one of us cheats). I don't really know how i could go on knowing the person i love as much as her and plan on spending the rest of my life with did that to me. And i sure as hell wouldn't want to be the person responsible for making somebody else feel that way.

[Major Harris]

What I want to know is who convinced you that having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life makes you moral?

1. Good for you.

2. Ah! The law of assymetric information...look it up.

3. I thought you loved her, you are not willing to forgive her?

4. Settle down little boy.

Morals? Let me guess, you have been to church, maybe read the bible? I am sick of having to listen to "religious" people who think that because someone in the distant past told them to "marry" and be with only one woman, that there is only one way. Marriage is an invention of the human mind. It is a symbol of a greater love. For YOU, that love might be contingent on monogamy, but saying someone is immoral for not believeing what you do is ridiculous and goes against what this country stands for.

there are plenty of atheists, as well as followers of religions outside of christianity, that think that polygamy, and more on topic, adultery, is immoral. :2cents:

[Henry]

Morals? Let me guess, you have been to church, maybe read the bible? I am sick of having to listen to "religious" people who think that because someone in the distant past told them to "marry" and be with only one woman, that there is only one way. Marriage is an invention of the human mind. It is a symbol of a greater love. For YOU, that love might be contingent on monogamy, but saying someone is immoral for not believeing what you do is ridiculous and goes against what this country stands for.

Well, to be fair YOU were the one who said 100% of married people cheat. I can tell you for a fact that is patently false. And it sounds to me like you saying 'everyone does it' so that you can feel ok doing it yourself. Only you know the answer to that question, though.

My personal feeling is that as long as a man and a woman are honest with eachother they can do whatever they want. If you are with a woman who knows you play around and doesn't care, I sure as heck don't. However, if you are sneaking around on a woman who thinks you are faithful, you are a habitual liar. That's a fact, not a moral judgement, and has nothing to do with what I think.

If you are comfortable being a person who is not good to his word, I really don't care. But there's something to be said for building relationships with people who actually value trust over personal gratification. The rewards may not be as immediate, but they are far more tangible. In my opinion.

[rincewind]

there are plenty of atheists, as well as followers of religions outside of christianity, that think that polygamy, and more on topic, adultery, is immoral. :2cents:

:applause: Neither my wife nor I are religious. And like i said before, if either one of us cheats the relationship is over.

[Kurd Cudins]

there are plenty of atheists, as well as followers of religions outside of christianity, that think that polygamy, and more on topic, adultery, is immoral. :2cents:

I wasn't singling out christianity, but more Judeo-Christian ethics in general.

P.S. Adultery wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the man-made institution of marriage.

[CandaceM23]

I wasn't singling out christianity, but more Judeo-Christian ethics in general.

P.S. Adultery wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the man-made institution of marriage.

Obviously you're not interested in marriage ....

Some people do hope to find someone that they can love for the remainder of eternity and be faithful to ....

[rincewind]

I wasn't singling out christianity, but more Judeo-Christian ethics in general.

P.S. Adultery wouldn't even exist if it weren't for the man-made institution of marriage.

Ummm... adultery wouldn't exist, but faithfullness would - adultery is just a word. Cheating is wrong whether you call it adultery or not.

[Destino]

What I want to know is who convinced you that having sex with only one woman for the rest of your life makes you moral?

1. Good for you.

2. Ah! The law of assymetric information...look it up.

3. I thought you loved her, you are not willing to forgive her?

4. Settle down little boy.

Morals? Let me guess, you have been to church, maybe read the bible? I am sick of having to listen to "religious" people who think that because someone in the distant past told them to "marry" and be with only one woman, that there is only one way. Marriage is an invention of the human mind. It is a symbol of a greater love. For YOU, that love might be contingent on monogamy, but saying someone is immoral for not believeing what you do is ridiculous and goes against what this country stands for.

Hey if you want to get into an open relationship more power to you. But sleeping with someone elses wife isn't right just because you happen to think monogamy is silly. There are people that think materialism is wrong - but does that make if right for them to drive off with you car? No.

[Kurd Cudins]

Well, to be fair YOU were the one who said 100% of married people cheat. I can tell you for a fact that is patently false. And it sounds to me like you saying 'everyone does it' so that you can feel ok doing it yourself. Only you know the answer to that question, though.

My personal feeling is that as long as a man and a woman are honest with eachother they can do whatever they want. If you are with a woman who knows you play around and doesn't care, I sure as heck don't. However, if you are sneaking around on a woman who thinks you are faithful, you are a habitual liar. That's a fact, not a moral judgement, and has nothing to do with what I think.

If you are comfortable being a person who is not good to his word, I really don't care. But there's something to be said for building relationships with people who actually value trust over personal gratification. The rewards may not be as immediate, but they are far more tangible. In my opinion.

It was incorrect of me to assert that ALL people cheat. However, it was equally incorrect for YOU to question MY honesty. I never said anything about lying or cheating from a personal perspective. I am not married, but have always been open and forthright. I am not a cheater, nor a habitual liar. You attack me like I have done something wrong, which pretty much reinforces my idea that people care WAY to much about other peoples sex lives.

P.S. I'm coming for your women!:cool:

[Kurd Cudins]

Hey if you want to get into an open relationship more power to you. But sleeping with someone elses wife isn't right just because you happen to think monogamy is silly. There are people that think materialism is wrong - but does that make if right for them to drive off with you car? No.

Sure, other people care, but they are not the one's I am sleeping with. You make it sound like I am stealing someones wife, when I assure you it's always THEM who hit on me. A lot of you suffer from severe insecurity.

[mistymjohnson]

I have only shared so far my experience with being the 'other woman', and yes... It was an awful experience emotionally. But I blame no one other than myself... Not some mysterious force or chemistry. I admit that my willpower was weak, and I did not do everything within my power to prevent the situation. (Hindsight is always 20/20)... Anyway, I highly doubt this is a situation that ever occurs again as a result of my selfish and virulent behavior.

I do understand what (not sure who said it) was trying to say about the chemistry thing, because I felt that way too while I was smack dab in the middle of it. However, when I got away from it all... I mean when I REALLY stopped lying to myself and washed my hands of the ENTIRE situation (people and all)... It was only then that I realized that I was just weak. I was being selfish... and even though a part of me wanted to stop... I thought that the part that felt good outweighed the part that made me feel bad. (That was just another lie I told myself). It is a vicious cycle... I don't envy you. (And the first thing you HAVE to do... STOP LISTENING TO HER!!!) She may be disillusioned herself, and telling you all the things you want to hear to keep you coming back... And that is making it worse. Run away... And don't look back.

Now, speaking as a woman who has been cheated on... It is heart-wrenching. I don't know about others... But I could never regain the trust that was lost after having found out I had been cheated on. It just kinda sucks...

And as far as doing the actual cheating... Well, I have to say that my morals have always won out in those battles. I would be lying if I said I haven't looked here and there, and even made a comment or two... But once I am in a committed relationship... That's it. (The only exceptions to this would be when BOTH my 'then' boyfriend and I were involved in an alternative lifestyle... However, it was not cheating when he was involved.)

Okay... I'm finished rambling...

for now...

maybe...

[CandaceM23]

P.S. I'm coming for your women!:cool:

Yeah ... I'm sure that you are .... And I'm sure that the pure ****iness and confidence that you exude is getting you wives left and right.

[Major Harris]

Well, to be fair YOU were the one who said 100% of married people cheat. I can tell you for a fact that is patently false. And it sounds to me like you saying 'everyone does it' so that you can feel ok doing it yourself. Only you know the answer to that question, though.

My personal feeling is that as long as a man and a woman are honest with eachother they can do whatever they want. If you are with a woman who knows you play around and doesn't care, I sure as heck don't. However, if you are sneaking around on a woman who thinks you are faithful, you are a habitual liar. That's a fact, not a moral judgement, and has nothing to do with what I think.

If you are comfortable being a person who is not good to his word, I really don't care. But there's something to be said for building relationships with people who actually value trust over personal gratification. The rewards may not be as immediate, but they are far more tangible. In my opinion.

as usual, henry hits the nail on the head........:applause:

[Kurd Cudins]

Yeah ... I'm sure that you are .... And I'm sure that the pure ****iness and confidence that you exude is getting you wives left and right. :rolleyes:

You love me! Besides, it was a joke.

No I will not make out with you CandaceM23!

[CandaceM23]

You love me! Besides, it was a joke.

No I will not make out with you CandaceM23!

It's okay ... I wouldn't make out with someone who commits adultery anyway ... so it wouldn't change for you.

[Henry]

It was incorrect of me to assert that ALL people cheat. However, it was equally incorrect for YOU to question MY honesty. I never said anything about lying or cheating from a personal perspective. I am not married, but have always been open and forthright. I am not a cheater, nor a habitual liar. You attack me like I have done something wrong, which pretty much reinforces my idea that people care WAY to much about other peoples sex lives.

I never questioned your honesty guy. I was simply explaining why some people who aren't religious or all obsessed with arbitrary 'morals' can find cheating just as distasteful as those who are. Marriage isn't about doing something some old out-dated tradition tells you to do. You clearly don't get that, and that's ok. But your sweeping pronouncements give those of us who do quite a chuckle.

P.S. I'm coming for your women!:cool:

Heh heh. If you make the moves on my woman, it ain't me you'll have to worry about.

[gortiz]

Not trim is worth the risk. . . if you don't belive me ask my uncle, he got an all expenses paid trip to St. Mary' s Hospital in West Palm, FL for a week for screwing around with another mans woman. I was a kid and It was the first time I ever learned that your lung can collapse and your jaw can be wired.

:redpunch: :hammer: :whippin: :handicap:

[Kurd Cudins]

Heh heh. If you make the moves on my woman, it ain't me you'll have to worry about.

See, now that's the way to look at it.

[Tarhog]

It was incorrect of me to assert that ALL people cheat. However, it was equally incorrect for YOU to question MY honesty. I never said anything about lying or cheating from a personal perspective. I am not married, but have always been open and forthright. I am not a cheater, nor a habitual liar. You attack me like I have done something wrong, which pretty much reinforces my idea that people care WAY to much about other peoples sex lives.

P.S. I'm coming for your women!:cool:

Go back and read your original post. Thats about as obnoxious as they get. Henry was pretty nice in his response by comparison.