What Attributes do you need in a Mate?

[DCsportsfan53]

Wow. thanks for trusting us with such a revelation, Mass. That's a heck of a lot to tell total strangers about yourself.

However, I don't think any of that is a good reason to cast aside any expectation of emotional attachment with another person. Plenty of people with physical deformaties find soulmates.

I don't know. It's your life and you should live it the way you see fit, but I think you're selling yourself short. Just my opinion.

I agree, the trust you put in us is appreciated but I think I agree with Henry about selling yourself short as well. People are cruel, people are evil, people are a lot of terrible things but all it takes is one person who appreciates and respects you to change your outlook. Anyone can find a reason to give up on some of the more difficult aspects in life (I know, I've been through long periods where I had no motivation at all and everything seemed pointless), but that's too easy. The pain and anguish that may come with it are nothing compared to what love can bring to your life.

I guess all I'm saying is don't give up on people yet. There's a lot of really ****ed up cruel people out there but there's also some out there that are better than you could've ever imagined. It'd be a shame to let one of those pass by because you don't have faith in mankind or love. Just my :2cents: and btw, much props to you for sharing with us the way you did. That takes courage.

[DarthSidious]

Yes Robin a Skins fan would be nice, but a Cowboys fan would make it a bit more interesting :laugh:

As for Mass' view on marriage, it is kind of funny because it is still ingrained into my culture still

For example, my parents didn't even meet until AFTER the wedding and they just celebrated their 25th anniversery. While my mom wields most of the "power" in the family, especially on my dad's side since he is the oldest son, and oldest cousin, my dad is still the final decision maker

Somehow it has all worked

And as an aside, I am a person who never lets a girl pay, just the way I was raised

But Cowboy fans are fake, which would go against your "Non-fake" requirement. :dallasuck

[Mass_SkinsFan]

It dont matter; as long as you are a Redskin fan thats all that counts.

I got a feeling you may have been going out with Cowboy fans. Did you even ask?? :laugh:

No. Actually the closest I've ever come to finding the "perfect" woman, she turned out to be a Cowboy's fan FROM DALLAS. That relationship ended right there.

[jrockster21]

Number 1 above anything is sense of humor. If you're hilarious you can make up for a lot.

Coming in at a close second is how the guy carries himself. Confidence.

Non-Physical

very intelligent

THOUGHTFUL

on time

calls when he says he will

trustworthy

honest

charismatic

has a nice balance of wanting to go out/stay at home- no party maniacs

non-smoker, non-druggie

redskins fan

can play basketball

has goals, a steady job, and has graduated college

Very manly men.... likes to watch sports, fix cars, fish, golf, do "manly" things

can be very silly and easygoing- not uptight

responsible

freaky (that's where my wink goes)

Physical

tall (6'1 and above...not necessary, but definitely a plus...at LEAST over 5'10)

athletic

attractive face

not obese

and that's pretty much my list for physical....

I don't really have a "type"...I used to, but now I like who I like and it just happens.

Swap out "fixes cars" with "gives you Darrell Green highlights," and I'm yo man, baby!! :D

[DCsportsfan53]

No. Actually the closest I've ever come to finding the "perfect" woman, she turned out to be a Cowboy's fan FROM DALLAS. That relationship ended right there.

See, I could joke about that but I would never actually include NFL team loyalty in anyway into my evaluation of a girlfriend. I mean, I know we love our Skins but in terms personal relationships I don't see how that really matters. Let's try and keep our football obsession in some kind of perspective guys. I could never imagine myself saying "damn, I really want to marry that girl but she's a Cowboy's fan". 2 completely different levels of importance if you ask me. Besides, it'll make Sundays and family get togethers that much more interesting .

[rincewind]

I don't have a list. My only criteria is that I'm in love.

Which I am. So I married her.

.....

:applause: :applause: :applause:

Way to go Zoony - that made me smile on a otherwise ****ty day. Thanks.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

I agree, the trust you put in us is appreciated but I think I agree with Henry about selling yourself short as well. People are cruel, people are evil, people are a lot of terrible things but all it takes is one person who appreciates and respects you to change your outlook. Anyone can find a reason to give up on some of the more difficult aspects in life (I know, I've been through long periods where I had no motivation at all and everything seemed pointless), but that's too easy. The pain and anguish that may come with it are nothing compared to what love can bring to your life.

I guess all I'm saying is don't give up on people yet. There's a lot of really ****ed up cruel people out there but there's also some out there that are better than you could've ever imagined. It'd be a shame to let one of those pass by because you don't have faith in mankind or love. Just my :2cents: and btw, much props to you for sharing with us the way you did. That takes courage.

Well, so far that trust appears to have been justified.

It gets very difficult to not give up on people when the reactions are so constant, consistant and negative. It comes down to the old idea that the kid puts his hand on the hot burner and gets burned and mom responds "well, don't do that again, silly." Or in more Freudian terms.... Insanity can be defined as doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results.

[twenty-eight]

Swap out "fixes cars" with "gives you Darrell Green highlights," and I'm yo man, baby!! :D

back off :security: , i saw her first:cool:

[APBT]

See, I could joke about that but I would never actually include NFL team loyalty in anyway into my evaluation of a girlfriend. I mean, I know we love our Skins but in terms personal relationships I don't see how that really matters. Let's try and keep our football obsession in some kind of perspective guys. I could never imagine myself saying "damn, I really want to marry that girl but she's a Cowboy's fan". 2 completely different levels of importance if you ask me. Besides, it'll make Sundays and family get togethers that much more interesting .

Yeah you are right but so wrong. I date women that have the same interests in life (including the Redskins) that I do. I dont like to be teased by anybdy when we lose to them and I want put up with no broad who would do just that. :doh:

There are plenty of fish in the sea that bleed burgundy and gold.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

See, I could joke about that but I would never actually include NFL team loyalty in anyway into my evaluation of a girlfriend. I mean, I know we love our Skins but in terms personal relationships I don't see how that really matters. Let's try and keep our football obsession in some kind of perspective guys. I could never imagine myself saying "damn, I really want to marry that girl but she's a Cowboy's fan". 2 completely different levels of importance if you ask me. Besides, it'll make Sundays and family get togethers that much more interesting .

DC, you have to understand that I take sports VERY SERIOUSLY. We're talking life and death seriously. The first time the Cowboys beat the Redskins and she made ANY sort of comment, face, gesture, etc.... There'd be Divorce Lawyers invovled, and probably the police as well.

[Darth Tater]

Darth, morality is ALWAYS an issue in everything a person does.

Are you telling me that it would be immoral for you to marry?

Actually, the bachelor's life is much, much cheaper than either marriage or outsourcing.

The doing the cooking and cleaning yourself may be cheapest option but that would depend on how you value the alternatives chosen if you did not do your own cooking and cleaning. In any case, that was not presented as an alternative.

[rincewind]

DC, you have to understand that I take sports VERY SERIOUSLY. We're talking life and death seriously. The first time the Cowboys beat the Redskins and she made ANY sort of comment, face, gesture, etc.... There'd be Divorce Lawyers invovled, and probably the police as well.

:applause: - First time i've ever agreed with Mass. She cheers for the Boys - she gets kicked to the curb.

[SkinsNut73]

Mass -

All I can say is WOW. You've really put yourself out there...thanks for sharing.

I find it interesting that you have such seemingly strict requirements in a mate (min C cup, non-blond, height requirement). I would think someone who has endured the cruelty at the hands of others that you have would be more open to others whom society may see as less-than-perfect. On the other hand, I think I understand your position on marriage a bit more. You are quite an interesting person, I must say. I wish you the best in finding a mate Bro'.

[APBT]

DC, you have to understand that I take sports VERY SERIOUSLY. We're talking life and death seriously. The first time the Cowboys beat the Redskins and she made ANY sort of comment, face, gesture, etc.... There'd be Divorce Lawyers invovled, and probably the police as well.

Dude.........You the man!!!

[SkinsHokieFan]

But Cowboy fans are fake, which would go against your "Non-fake" requirement. :dallasuck

It would still make it interesting, and as you know from the past 10 years, I like things interesting

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Are you telling me that it would be immoral for you to marry?

No. Though I can see how it would have come across that way. What would be immoral would be for me to abandon my values and expectations simply for the opportunity to be with someone on either a short-term or long-term basis.

The doing the cooking and cleaning yourself may be cheapest option but that would depend on how you value the alternatives chosen if you did not do your own cooking and cleaning. In any case, that was not presented as an alternative.

If you hadn't caught on yet, I'm a controlling SOB. I want and expect things done MY way, on MY scedule. Especially in my own home. If they aren't, I tend to get more than a little tempermental. I also HATE having to repeat myself on what is expected. The "outsourcing" sounds like a neat idea until you realize that most of the companies involved in that sort of business that I've ever had to deal with have a reputation for not necessarily being the most thorough and/or detail oriented. Unless you really pay the BIG bucks. Whereas a wife would hopefully be able to understand the concepts and carry through with them on a much more regular basis. Doing them myself, to my requirements, is the middle ground in the situation.

[rincewind]

Life is just fine without love, actually. It's an emotion that brings a whole lot more hurt and despair than anything useful.

A VERY wise man once said:

"Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

[DCsportsfan53]

DC, you have to understand that I take sports VERY SERIOUSLY. We're talking life and death seriously. The first time the Cowboys beat the Redskins and she made ANY sort of comment, face, gesture, etc.... There'd be Divorce Lawyers invovled, and probably the police as well.

Yeah, ok, I know, Cowboys fan might be a little hard to with. I'd like to think that I wouldn't judge too hard on that but I've also never been in the situation so who knows. Now that I really think about it, it would be awfully tough to live with someone who was happy when skins lose. :mad: **** it, you're right, the guns would be blazin if she said ANYTHING after a loss to Dallas.

I guess it would have to depend on the person. There's is such a thing as being a gracious winner and if she's that I think I might be able to deal with it.

[Predicto]

No. Actually the closest I've ever come to finding the "perfect" woman, she turned out to be a Cowboy's fan FROM DALLAS. That relationship ended right there.

Dude, I'm disappointed in you. You had the perfect opportunity to turn someone from the Dark Side toward the Light, and you didn't take it. The sheep don't come to the fold themselves, you gotta bring them there! Can I hear an Amen?

[DCsportsfan53]

No. Though I can see how it would have come across that way. What would be immoral would be for me to abandon my values and expectations simply for the opportunity to be with someone on either a short-term or long-term basis.

If you hadn't caught on yet, I'm a controlling SOB. I want and expect things done MY way, on MY scedule. Especially in my own home. If they aren't, I tend to get more than a little tempermental. I also HATE having to repeat myself on what is expected. The "outsourcing" sounds like a neat idea until you realize that most of the companies involved in that sort of business that I've ever had to deal with have a reputation for not necessarily being the most thorough and/or detail oriented. Unless you really pay the BIG bucks. Whereas a wife would hopefully be able to understand the concepts and carry through with them on a much more regular basis. Doing them myself, to my requirements, is the middle ground in the situation.

I can understand that and that helps explain why you don't believe in love. Love can only come through shared sacrifice and compromise and it doesn't sound like you enjoy compromising.

Think of it this way, love is similar to a football player who buys into the team concept instead of playing just for himself. It's the same thing with a woman, everyone sacrifices together to reach an end goal which is greater than anything that can be accomplished by one man alone. That's where real achievment and satisfaction come from. As long as we're going with well worn cliches like Rincewind (such a true statement, though. I'm surprised it took that long to show up) there's an old saying that says "you get what you give."

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Yeah, ok, I know, Cowboys fan might be a little hard to with. I'd like to think that I wouldn't judge too hard on that but I've also never been in the situation so who knows. Now that I really think about it, it would be awfully tough to live with someone who was happy when skins lose. :mad: **** it, you're right, the guns would be blazin if she said ANYTHING after a loss to Dallas.

I guess it would have to depend on the person. There's is such a thing as being a gracious winner and if she's that I think I might be able to deal with it.

Come on, DC. You know better than that. Cowscum fans and Redskins fans just cannot exist in the same household. It's like a gasoline and fire combination.

What makes things even worse is that I live in Patriots country. I HATE the Patriots as much as I HATE the Cowboys, Giants and Eagles. About a year ago I went out on a date with a very attractive young woman who it turns out is a Patriots fan. I picked her up and she's wearing an "I (heart) Tom Brady" T-Shirt. All through dinner at the pizza joint I couldn't stop staring at the shirt and just getting more and more pissed off. Finally she commented on the fact that I'd been staring at her chest all through dinner. I told her that while she was quite lovely it was her t-shirt not her chest that I was staring at. She asked if I was a Patriots fan. I told her how much I HATE the Patriots. It was a very quiet remainder of dinner and neither one of us ever called the other one about a second date.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Dude, I'm disappointed in you. You had the perfect opportunity to turn someone from the Dark Side toward the Light, and you didn't take it. The sheep don't come to the fold themselves, you gotta bring them there! Can I hear an Amen?

Predicto, it WASN'T going to happen. Her family was like 3 generations deep in Cowboys fans. Some relative of hers worked at the stadium. She thought Troy Aikman was the sexiest man on the planet. Joe Gibbs was just some dumb souther hick NASCAR owner so far as she was concerned.

There are just certain things that CAN'T be overcome, no matter how hard you try.

[DCsportsfan53]

Predicto, it WASN'T going to happen. Her family was like 3 generations deep in Cowboys fans. Some relative of hers worked at the stadium. She thought Troy Aikman was the sexiest man on the planet. Joe Gibbs was just some dumb souther hick NASCAR owner so far as she was concerned.

There are just certain things that CAN'T be overcome, no matter how hard you try.

Ok, see, I agree on that one. I'd have been ghost in no time if that was the case.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

I can understand that and that helps explain why you don't believe in love. Love can only come through shared sacrifice and compromise and it doesn't sound like you enjoy compromising.

Not only don't I enjoy it.... I don't DO IT.

Think of it this way, love is similar to a football player who buys into the team concept instead of playing just for himself. It's the same thing with a woman, everyone sacrifices together to reach an end goal which is greater than anything that can be accomplished by one man alone. That's where real achievment and satisfaction come from. As long as we're going with well worn cliches like Rincewind (such a true statement, though. I'm surprised it took that long to show up) there's an old saying that says "you get what you give."

If you've seen any of my posts over in The Stadium, you know I'm not real big on the "team concept" players. I don't do "sacrifice" real well and I never have. I've got to much of that investment vs. return philosophy to really buy into that.

[SkinsNumberOne]

Predicto, it WASN'T going to happen. Her family was like 3 generations deep in Cowboys fans. Some relative of hers worked at the stadium. She thought Troy Aikman was the sexiest man on the planet. Joe Gibbs was just some dumb souther hick NASCAR owner so far as she was concerned.

There are just certain things that CAN'T be overcome, no matter how hard you try.

I'm usually on the side that says that football shouldn't choose who you're with, but that kind of off-base opinion does say something about her, I'd say.

I am good friends with a Cowboy fan or two - one of them is a pretty attractive girl - but neither would disrespect Joe Gibbs at all. That's just ignorance (or, to be fair, maybe crazy fan blindness), which is unattractive. I guess even if I was with a Skins fan who suffered from crazy fan blindness, I'd be prone to get a bit tired of it after a while (but it'd probably be cool with me at first, unlike in the case of it being for another team).