Is this good parenting?

[Fred Jones]

Each kid, of course, is different. One form of punishment, of many, is to find out what they enjoy and like to do and take it away from them. Also, this parent (s) is mostly responsible for the kids' behavior. Saying no to your kids is sometime very difficult, but a necessity. Teaching them respect and that things are just not given to them is difficult to do and requires a lot work on the part of the parent. Teaching them consequences and teaching them that things cost money is also difficult to do, but a necessity.

[Fred Jones]

Your way of discipline might work on some kids, but I know kids that would take that as a sign of weakness. I think it's time to face the facts, that "time out" experiment didn't work.

Not to get into a debate, but the best parents I have seen did not use violence as a means to an end. With some kids a spanking, while they are young, every once in a while will not cause them lasting harm. However, with kids that have self-control issues (and related issues) spanking them teaches them nothing.

[stevenaa]

Your way of discipline might work on some kids, but I know kids that would take that as a sign of weakness. I think it's time to face the facts, that "time out" experiment didn't work.

Not that Henry needs help defending himself, but he didn't say he was against spanking. He said as a blanket approach it is flawed and he is exactly right. I have 3 children who each require different discipline techniques. My 2 year old needs frequent spankings. He has a streak in him that makes him try and push things to the limit to get his way. My oldest rarely needed it, and it didn't affect my middle child at all. Being a good parent is finding what works best for each child and being faithfully consistent in your discipline. Once you get to the point these parents have, you've created a problem that will be very hard to solve. This isn't the childs fault, it's the parents. I guarenty his behavior has been successful in the past.

[PleaseBlitz]

You meant corporal punishment. That is spanking. Capital Punishment would be more like........executing.

Now THAT is funny.

If this Xbox has already become this big of an issue, there is no chance the kid should get one. Get him a lawnmower and tell him to put it to good use.

[Guest sith lord]

Not to get into a debate, but the best parents I have seen did not use violence as a means to an end. With some kids a spanking, while they are young, every once in a while will not cause them lasting harm. However, with kids that have self-control issues (and related issues) spanking them teaches them nothing.

Spanking is not violence. Big difference.

[smashmowf]

Kicking over a stereo system, that is his dad's is way beyond undisciplined.

Not much is being said in the way of video game addiction because it's affects are not life threatening, except when the police find the 1st person shooter games in most (all) of the homes of the kids committing the school shootings.

Here's a diffinition of addiction: A pathological relationship to a mood altering substance or event, that has life damaging consequenses

Soooo I guess there are extremeskins.com addicts, redskins addicts, family addicts, food addicts, work addicts.....In reference to the shooter games thats not addiction, thats yet another example of poor parenting....I get so tired people wanting to blame video games for everthing....there are a lot of things that influence children these days.....the solution is good parenting and keeping the child constructively active....I'm willing to bet the majority of those kids that did the shootings were not envolved in any extracurricular activities, did not receive the proper attention and had idle minds.....

[smashmowf]

Why is it that someone can watch TV for 4 hours a day and no one cries about TV addiction? If they play VGs just as much then they have mental problems..... That doesn't make any sense to me.

Either way FPS games are commonly found in the homes of gamers, period. If shooters are gamers, odds are they'd have an FPS title or 4. I have many and I'm pretty much the most non-violent person you are likely to meet.... unless you consider paintball to be violence, in which case I am a destroyer of worlds.

See.....that has all ways blown my mind...I mean somebody can sit front of a TV for hours like a zombie and zone out, but theres no problem....oh but interaction during videos is bad.... :doh: please

[smashmowf]

No, Capital Punishment. To qoute Bill Cosby, "I brought you into this world, I can take you out."

:laugh:

Seriously though, Dads have to be the big dog. You hope that the bark will be enough to get kids to see the error in their ways, but sometimes it requires a little bite. This would be one of the times where the kid would go to bed with a sore ass.

exaaaaaaaactly.......if he's lucky enough to keep the bed in his room!

[Henry]

Not that Henry needs help defending himself, but he didn't say he was against spanking. He said as a blanket approach it is flawed and he is exactly right. I have 3 children who each require different discipline techniques. My 2 year old needs frequent spankings. He has a streak in him that makes him try and push things to the limit to get his way. My oldest rarely needed it, and it didn't affect my middle child at all. Being a good parent is finding what works best for each child and being faithfully consistent in your discipline. Once you get to the point these parents have, you've created a problem that will be very hard to solve. This isn't the childs fault, it's the parents. I guarenty his behavior has been successful in the past.

That's it. Spanking works with some kids, doesn't with others. If a parent doesn't bother to find out what works with his own children, THAT's bad parenting.

This kid obvously hasn't been disciplined enough. That may mean spanking. May not. We don't know.

[DeanCollins]

Soooo I guess there are extremeskins.com addicts, redskins addicts, family addicts, food addicts, work addicts.....In reference to the shooter games thats not addiction, thats yet another example of poor parenting....I get so tired people wanting to blame video games for everthing....there are a lot of things that influence children these days.....the solution is good parenting and keeping the child constructively active....I'm willing to bet the majority of those kids that did the shootings were not envolved in any extracurricular activities, did not receive the proper attention and had idle minds.....

Video games clues to addiction

If people are addicted to competitive games, is their addiction the consequence of greed for financial reward, or just the sheer thrill of competing? That's one of the questions now being answered by the team led by David Brooks, Director of the MRC Cyclotron unit. Professor Brooks' team has already found strong evidence that video computer games are genuinely addictive and are now discovering exactly why.

David Brooks' colleague Paul Grasby designed a gripping game in which tank commanders shoot the enemy and dodge their fire, which also provides financial rewards of up to £50. Then they use the latest brain-scanning techniques to view the game players' brains at work. They found that more of the neurotransmitter dopamine was produced while they were playing. The scientists are now further investigating which elements in the game stimulate dopamine production.

Dopamine stimulates the brain to react to novel and rewarding situations. High levels of the neurotransmitter can be associated with addiction. The Medical Research Council have recently awarded David Brooks' team a £1 million grant to use the same sort of techniques to try to discover what it is that make some people more susceptible than others to alcohol and heroin. The findings of research using some of the world's most advanced brain scanning equipment will be applied immediately to help the patients who are also the subjects of the research

Video Game : regions of reduced 11C-raclopride binding

Fact Sheet

Computer and Video Game Addiction Computers, video games, and the Internet have become entrenched features of our daily lives. Computer use has reached beyond work and is now a major source of fun and entertainment for many people. For most people, computer use and video game play is integrated into their lives in a balanced healthy manner. For others, time spent on the computer or video game is out of balance, and has displaced work, school, friends, and even family.

What is computer and video game addiction?

When time spent on the computer, playing video games or cruising the Internet reaches a point that it harms a child's or adult's family and social relationships, or disrupts school or work life, that person may be caught in a cycle of addiction. Like other addictions, the computer or video game has replaced friends and family as the source of a person's emotional life. Increasingly, to feel good, the addicted person spends more time playing video games or searching the Internet. Time away from the computer or game causes moodiness or withdrawal.

When a person spends up to ten hours a day or more rearranging or sending files, playing games, surfing the net, visiting chat rooms, instant messaging, and reading emails, that easily can reach up to seventy to eighty hours a week on-line with the computer. Major social, school or work disruptions will result.

Symptoms of computer or video game addiction:

For children:

• Most of non-school hours are spent on the computer or playing video games.
  
• Falling asleep in school.
  
• Not keeping up with assignments.
  
• Worsening grades.
  
• Lying about computer or video game use.
  
• Choosing to use the computer or play video games, rather than see friends.
  
• Dropping out of other social groups (clubs or sports).
  
• Irritable when not playing a video game or on the computer.
  

For adults:

• Computer or video game use is characterized by intense feelings of pleasure and guilt.
  
• Obsessing and pre-occupied about being on the computer, even when not connected.
  
• Hours playing video games or on the computer increasing, seriously disrupting family, social or even work life.
  
• Lying about computer or video game use.
  
• Experience feelings of withdrawal, anger, or depression when not on the computer or involved with their video game.
  
• May incur large phone or credit bills for on-line services.
  
• Can't control computer or video game use.
  
• Fantasy life on-line replaces emotional life with partner.
  

There are even physical symptoms that may point to addiction:

• Carpal tunnel syndrome.
  
• Sleep disturbances
  
• Back, neck aches
  
• Headaches
  
• Dry eyes
  
• Failure to eat regularly or neglect personal hygiene
  

For the computer or video game addicted person, a fantasy world on-line or in a game has replaced his or her real world. The virtual reality of the computer or game is more inviting than the every day world of family, school or work. With the increased access to pornography on the Internet and in games, this fantasy world may be highly sexual.

The first step to healing is to recognize the symptoms. Help from a professional is often needed.

Sources

• Brenner, Viktor. (1997, June). Parameters of Internet use, abuse, and addiction: The first 90 days of the Internet usage survey. Psychological Reports, 80, 879-882.
  
• Brody, Jane E. (2000, May 16). First step is recognizing the signs of Internet abuse. The New York Times, pD7(N), pF7(L).
  
• Doten, Patti (1999, October 18). When the Net becomes a trap: On-line addicts may be mired in a virtual world, leaving behind families, friends and real lives. Boston Globe
  
• Dvorak, John C. (1997, June). Net addiction. PC/Computing, 10, 85.
  
• Harvard Mental Health Letter (1999, January). Computer addiction: Is it real or virtual? v15, i7.
  
• Hauge, Marney R., Gentile, Douglas A., (2003, April). Video game addiction among adolescents: Associations with academic performance and aggression. Paper presented at a Society for Research in Child Development Conference, Tampa Florida. Accessed at http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/faculty/dgentile/SRCD%20Video%20Game%20Addiction.pdf (last visited 3/11/05).
  
• Orzack, Dr. Maressa. Licensed clinical psychologist, on the Harvard Medical School faculty, Coordinator of Computer Addiction Services at McLean Hospital. at http://www.computeraddiction.com/ (last visited 3/15/05).
  
• Parents Network Advice about Teenagers - Computer Game Addiction. http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/gameaddiction.html (last accessed 2/25/05).
  
• Salguero, R. A., Moran, T., Bersabe, R. M. (2002, December). Measuring problem video game playing in adolescents. Addiction, 97,12, 1601.
  
• Shaffer, H. J., Hall, M. N., Vander Bilt, J. (2000, April). Computer addiction: A critical consideration. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry,70, 162-168.
  
• Video Games and Public Health (2004, February). Journal of Adolescence, 27, 1.
  
• Wright, Carol (2001, Fall). Children and technology: Issues, challenges, and opportunities. Childhood Education, 78, 37.
  
• Yang, Dori J. (2000, January 17). Craving your next web fix: Internet addiction is no laughing matter. U.S. News and World Report, 128, 41.
  
• Young, Kimberly S. (2004, December). Internet addiction: A new clinical phenomenon and its consequences. American Behavioral Scientist, 48,4,402.
  

[twa]

That's it. Spanking works with some kids, doesn't with others. If a parent doesn't bother to find out what works with his own children, THAT's bad parenting.

This kid obvously hasn't been disciplined enough. That may mean spanking. May not. We don't know.

In my experience you are correct, I was spanked quite a bit to the point it was not effective,it can beome simply the price you as a child are willing to pay. In which case you can move on to beatings,which also tend to lose the desired effect in my case at least.

With my children there were some spankings,but correcting behavior can be achieved in many ways and teaching self discipine and responsibility for actions early will eliminate the need for corporal punishment as they develop.

signed the origonal red-headed step-child :2cents:

[smashmowf]

Video games clues to addiction

If people are addicted to competitive games, is their addiction the consequence of greed for financial reward, or just the sheer thrill of competing? That's one of the questions now being answered by the team led by David Brooks, Director of the MRC Cyclotron unit. Professor Brooks' team has already found strong evidence that video computer games are genuinely addictive and are now discovering exactly why.

David Brooks' colleague Paul Grasby designed a gripping game in which tank commanders shoot the enemy and dodge their fire, which also provides financial rewards of up to £50. Then they use the latest brain-scanning techniques to view the game players' brains at work. They found that more of the neurotransmitter dopamine was produced while they were playing. The scientists are now further investigating which elements in the game stimulate dopamine production.

Dopamine stimulates the brain to react to novel and rewarding situations. High levels of the neurotransmitter can be associated with addiction. The Medical Research Council have recently awarded David Brooks' team a £1 million grant to use the same sort of techniques to try to discover what it is that make some people more susceptible than others to alcohol and heroin. The findings of research using some of the world's most advanced brain scanning equipment will be applied immediately to help the patients who are also the subjects of the research

Video Game : regions of reduced 11C-raclopride binding

Fact Sheet

Computer and Video Game Addiction Computers, video games, and the Internet have become entrenched features of our daily lives. Computer use has reached beyond work and is now a major source of fun and entertainment for many people. For most people, computer use and video game play is integrated into their lives in a balanced healthy manner. For others, time spent on the computer or video game is out of balance, and has displaced work, school, friends, and even family.

What is computer and video game addiction?

When time spent on the computer, playing video games or cruising the Internet reaches a point that it harms a child's or adult's family and social relationships, or disrupts school or work life, that person may be caught in a cycle of addiction. Like other addictions, the computer or video game has replaced friends and family as the source of a person's emotional life. Increasingly, to feel good, the addicted person spends more time playing video games or searching the Internet. Time away from the computer or game causes moodiness or withdrawal.

When a person spends up to ten hours a day or more rearranging or sending files, playing games, surfing the net, visiting chat rooms, instant messaging, and reading emails, that easily can reach up to seventy to eighty hours a week on-line with the computer. Major social, school or work disruptions will result.

Symptoms of computer or video game addiction:

For children:

• Most of non-school hours are spent on the computer or playing video games.
  
• Falling asleep in school.
  
• Not keeping up with assignments.
  
• Worsening grades.
  
• Lying about computer or video game use.
  
• Choosing to use the computer or play video games, rather than see friends.
  
• Dropping out of other social groups (clubs or sports).
  
• Irritable when not playing a video game or on the computer.
  

For adults:

• Computer or video game use is characterized by intense feelings of pleasure and guilt.
  
• Obsessing and pre-occupied about being on the computer, even when not connected.
  
• Hours playing video games or on the computer increasing, seriously disrupting family, social or even work life.
  
• Lying about computer or video game use.
  
• Experience feelings of withdrawal, anger, or depression when not on the computer or involved with their video game.
  
• May incur large phone or credit bills for on-line services.
  
• Can't control computer or video game use.
  
• Fantasy life on-line replaces emotional life with partner.
  

There are even physical symptoms that may point to addiction:

• Carpal tunnel syndrome.
  
• Sleep disturbances
  
• Back, neck aches
  
• Headaches
  
• Dry eyes
  
• Failure to eat regularly or neglect personal hygiene
  

For the computer or video game addicted person, a fantasy world on-line or in a game has replaced his or her real world. The virtual reality of the computer or game is more inviting than the every day world of family, school or work. With the increased access to pornography on the Internet and in games, this fantasy world may be highly sexual.

The first step to healing is to recognize the symptoms. Help from a professional is often needed.

Sources

• Brenner, Viktor. (1997, June). Parameters of Internet use, abuse, and addiction: The first 90 days of the Internet usage survey. Psychological Reports, 80, 879-882.
  
• Brody, Jane E. (2000, May 16). First step is recognizing the signs of Internet abuse. The New York Times, pD7(N), pF7(L).
  
• Doten, Patti (1999, October 18). When the Net becomes a trap: On-line addicts may be mired in a virtual world, leaving behind families, friends and real lives. Boston Globe
  
• Dvorak, John C. (1997, June). Net addiction. PC/Computing, 10, 85.
  
• Harvard Mental Health Letter (1999, January). Computer addiction: Is it real or virtual? v15, i7.
  
• Hauge, Marney R., Gentile, Douglas A., (2003, April). Video game addiction among adolescents: Associations with academic performance and aggression. Paper presented at a Society for Research in Child Development Conference, Tampa Florida. Accessed at http://www.psychology.iastate.edu/faculty/dgentile/SRCD%20Video%20Game%20Addiction.pdf (last visited 3/11/05).
  
• Orzack, Dr. Maressa. Licensed clinical psychologist, on the Harvard Medical School faculty, Coordinator of Computer Addiction Services at McLean Hospital. at http://www.computeraddiction.com/ (last visited 3/15/05).
  
• Parents Network Advice about Teenagers - Computer Game Addiction. http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/teens/gameaddiction.html (last accessed 2/25/05).
  
• Salguero, R. A., Moran, T., Bersabe, R. M. (2002, December). Measuring problem video game playing in adolescents. Addiction, 97,12, 1601.
  
• Shaffer, H. J., Hall, M. N., Vander Bilt, J. (2000, April). Computer addiction: A critical consideration. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry,70, 162-168.
  
• Video Games and Public Health (2004, February). Journal of Adolescence, 27, 1.
  
• Wright, Carol (2001, Fall). Children and technology: Issues, challenges, and opportunities. Childhood Education, 78, 37.
  
• Yang, Dori J. (2000, January 17). Craving your next web fix: Internet addiction is no laughing matter. U.S. News and World Report, 128, 41.
  
• Young, Kimberly S. (2004, December). Internet addiction: A new clinical phenomenon and its consequences. American Behavioral Scientist, 48,4,402.
  

Ok...those are very nice references and a display of someone else's opinion/research....I mean I could go find articles on people addicted to water.....to me it still boils down to parenting and discipline.

[DeanCollins]

Ok...those are very nice references and a display of someone else's opinion/research....I mean I could go find articles on people addicted to water.....to me it still boils down to parenting and discipline.

So you agree that video games are addicting.

[TheSteve]

Is it just me or does Dean Collins always post articles from elsewhere instead of lending us his viewpoints on the matter? Can't we all find an article? Discussion Boards are supposed to be about the exchange of human opinion and debate of idea's.

[tlk2rn]

This is horrible parenting. To get back at a child is proving the parents childishness. This kid needs some major disciplining and structure in his life or else he will be destroying more than a $2000 stereo system. Man if that were my boy his rump would have been roasted.

[DeanCollins]

Is it just me or does Dean Collins always post articles from elsewhere instead of lending us his viewpoints on the matter? Can't we all find an article? Discussion Boards are supposed to be about the exchange of human opinion and debate of idea's.

So Steve, what's your opinion on this thread?

I guess you didn't read the thread. Are these not opinions?

"The kid is addicted to video games and will apparently do anything he thinks will get more of what he's addicted to. The question here is, why does the kid feel so appathetic about his life that he has to hide in a vitural one?

This 'move', by the parents, will backfire because they are treating the symptom and not the problem."

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeanCollins

Kicking over a stereo system, that is his dad's is way beyond undisciplined.

Not much is being said in the way of video game addiction because it's affects are not life threatening, except when the police find the 1st person shooter games in most (all) of the homes of the kids committing the school shootings.

Here's a diffinition of addiction: A pathological relationship to a mood altering substance or event, that has life damaging consequenses

I realize that talking about video games in a negative manner, is not popular here because of the large number of memebers that play them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against playing most video games in moderation (a few hours a week not a few hours a day).

And of course most people can play them, even to excess, and not suffer from it, but that's not the point.

Video games are addicting, and to those people that are predisposed to obsesive compulsive behavior, it can cause some severe problems for them. And at that point it becomes a mental illness and should be treated as such.

It would be a good idea to have that kid evaluated by a child Psychologist. And those parents should gain some education on how to deal with these kind of issues, and not just punish the child into oblivion.

Talking about addictions is unpopular with everyone, because we all have them. But it's particularly difficult for parents to think about addiction when it comes to their children, and that's why we have, for example, a phenominal amount of obese children (and adults) today. But instead of talking about eating disorders, and how to treat them, people want to blame it on the food manufacturers (denial).

__________________

[smashmowf]

__________________

Talking about addictions is unpopular with everyone, because we all have them. But it's particularly difficult for parents to think about addiction when it comes to their children, and that's why we have, for example, a phenominal amount of obese children (and adults) today. But instead of talking about eating disorders, and how to treat them, people want to blame it on the food manufacturers (denial).

__________________

I agree with last half of your last paragraph....to me it seemed that in your previous posts you were saying its all the video games fault.....I have a hard time blaming material things for peoples problems....its like if someone gets shot its not the guns fault its the person that pulled the trigger....my point of view is discipline (which does not always mean a punishment) is the key, if the kid involved in this topic of discussion had more structure in his life and understood that mom and dad "run the show" things may be different....now this is based strictly on what I read...if he had some type of mental problems I don't think his dad would be doing this.....I honestly think this is cause of parents in over there heads and a spoiled rotten child....How on earth do the parents think this will resolve the issue or make things better?

[smashmowf]

So you agree that video games are addicting.

No I dont. I agree that you or I could go on the internet and find articles claiming that there are people addicted to the taste of ear wax....an article/research is someone else's experiment, opinion or survey.

[rockANDallstar]

The kid is obviously a total ass and doesn't deserve any XMas presents, kicking his dad's $2000 stereo? I mean 2 wrongs doesn't make a right but I hate kids like that...

[Renegade7]

Are you serious? If I kicked my dad's stereo no one would ever find out. He'd be in jail, and I'd be six feet under. That's parenting right there. : )

[Cdowwe]

Good stuff. Coulda got more money though.