China Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Porn Addiction Written by Jerod Clark KTHV Created:11/25/2005 10:06:05 PM Last Updated:11/29/2005 5:57:46 PM Pornography can be difficult to avoid. It seems to be everywhere on the Internet. Even if you don't want it, it shows up in your e-mail. Sex addiction therapist Linda Davis says, "In our society, we use pornography, we think that it's something's that is not real toxic. They just think it's part of the accepted part of growing up. But it can begin then. Not everyone will become addicted, eight to 10 percent. I believe that number is a little low." Davis is one of only three therapists in the state certified in treating sexual addiction. She says sex is as addictive as alcohol or drugs, but it can be harder to find help. She explains, "Part of the issue is, it's such a secretive issue and we don't talk about this disorder. And if you stay alone, then you've continued the secrecy and it continues the shame cycle." Sitting in a dark room, John’s face is silhouetted. He starts out his interview by saying, "Well, I am John and I am a sex and love addict." His real name isn't John. He wanted to keep his identity concealed because of the embarrassment that can come from his addiction. Five years ago, he says his addiction hit its worst point. John says, “When I fell foul of the law a few years ago and the police were calling me, regarding my addiction, that was a wake up call for me. My life was threatened, not physically, but my financial life, my working life my family life. They were all threatened greatly. I am divorced, got a couple kids and I lost some of that." John's addiction was creating sexual fantasies in his mind daily. He would act them out in secret by looking at pornography while pleasuring himself for hours. At times, it went further. He cheated on his wife, who has since divorced him. He remembers, “That feeling of isolation, loneliness and secretiveness, it was crushing for me." Joseph Banken is a psychologist at UAMS. He says men like John aren't alone in sex addiction. "But about 40 percent of that group is also women. Men tend to be much more interested in the graphic, the visual, and women are more interested in the erotic chat." Banken says the best help is to see a professional or get into a 12-step program. “What I usually encourage the person is to take responsibility, to share this with someone close to them because it's so private,” he explains, “and often times by increasing the accountability a person has, then they're taking more responsibility." Davis says realizing a sexual addiction can be tough. However, like any addiction, when the act interferes with life, it's gone too far. She talks of cases where people would look at porn for five or more hours a day alone, in secrecy. Davis says, "If you're making contact with these images on the computer, you're not making contact with real human beings, and we all have a need to be close to other people. We're relationship creatures." John says the help for breaking his addiction was finding a spiritual base, getting therapy and joining a 12-step help group. He’s still going to the group. "My addiction is a lifelong, I'm told," he says. "There is not a magic bullet, a cure." At times, he even thinks having an alcohol addiction would've been better. John says, "Oh yes, it would be a lot easier because I carry my sex around with me. I'm a sexual being. I cannot get away from it. Now alcohol, I could set down and walk away from." Banken says sexual addiction, especially involving online porn, is a problem that knows no boundaries. He says, "I think it's going to continue to grow because I think there's the perception that when people are on the Internet, it doesn't count. What I do in the Internet, if I have a cyber relationship, it doesn't really count." Davis agrees saying, “I think it's very under diagnosed, I really do. Teenagers, that's going to be a real problem. It is a real problem. I recently accessed a 14-year-old boy that was genuinely addicted." John says looking back, he could see the signs of his addiction starting when he was 11. He says he thinks it stems from his father having the same addiction, but points out that he was never abused. John says he's doing well with his recovery. One of the last questions he was asked is where he'd like to see himself in another five years. With a smile John says, "I hope to be in a very similar situation as I am now. I am very happy in the second life recovery has given me. Addicts have a chance at two lives in one lifetime." He says if he doesn't keep getting help, he could relapse into a lifestyle he hopes to never see again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Message to all wives and girlfriends, anti-dote to porn addicition is in your hands, literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kilmer17 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 So much for the Daily Babe thread returning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 So much for the Daily Babe thread returning. Well, I figure there was no chance of that since this thread was locked after only 3 posts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 So much for the Daily Babe thread returning. :paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
China Posted November 30, 2005 Author Share Posted November 30, 2005 Nice name. She can be my merkin anytime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 rhymes with 'jerkin'... how convenient Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rypien 91 Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 :paranoid: Mercy, mercy me. I give that two thumbs up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 "Hi my name is Predicto and I'm a pr0n addict." "Hi Predicto." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJeremy Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 Porn??? Never heard of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scskin Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 That article was waaaaaaaaay to long! I have much better things to do with my time, like watching porn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancalagon the Black Posted November 30, 2005 Share Posted November 30, 2005 John says, “When I fell foul of the law a few years ago and the police were calling me, regarding my addiction, that was a wake up call for me. My life was threatened, not physically, but my financial life, my working life my family life. They were all threatened greatly. I am divorced, got a couple kids and I lost some of that." Law? Police? What was this dude doing, looking at kiddie porn? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 :paranoid: :rotflmao: Her last name is "Merkin" and she is in a Maxim spread :rotflmao: :laugh: :notworthy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaseyJones7 Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 ha. this is bs sunday church guilt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altair4 Posted December 1, 2005 Share Posted December 1, 2005 Does anyone else think that this whole "categorization of behavioral issues" has gone too far? I mean, whats next - anti-porn addiction drugs? Addiction is addiction, whether it is to porn, love, drugs, jesus, or the republican party....why not look to fixing the causes rather than treating the symptoms? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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