1 Day Late - Bar Commandments

After the early morning of St. Patty's Day, I have a little rant for bar patrons.... Anyone else that works in a bar can relate.

Understandibly the most alcoholic day out of the year is today/yesterday. I'm a doorman at a bar, and pretty happy as a whole, but some crap ticked me off tonight. Here are some tips for those who go out and binge drink during this holiday or any other day out of the week - this goes for esp. the younger crowd:

1) Don't play-puch/push your friends. When it's you and only a few people, cool. We look, we see you, we get the hint, so play on. When it's packed, you or your dumb*** buddy ends up hitting into patrons of the bar as well as employees. Not cool.

2) Don't GRAB (sometimes not even tap) a bartender when theyre busy. I know there are some dicks out there, but usually if you tip decently, show you're ready to pay, they'll acknowledge you.

3) Don't yell at the guy that bumps into if he's pickin up your's, and everyone else's emtpy glasses/pitchers/shotglasses.

4) If you come in once or twice a week, acknowledge the staff. Maybe even if they do something right, give them a tip. We remember and there'll be no wait or maybe no cover charge next time.

5) Awkward or not, "Don't Stop Believing" must be sung by all.

6) If you do realize you drank too much, and have to spew, at least make it to the bathroom. At least there it can be cleaned up w/o a mob of drunks walking around it. A direct hit into the toilet is even better.

7) Have ID's and cash ready. You know you're going into a bar; unless you have grey hairs and wrinkles, have it ready.

8) If a trash can is full, if you see a table is filled with empty bottles, a guy that's stumbin' around, or theres something else, let the staff know! (We're already busy, can't always be on top of or in eye sight of everything - in the end it makes a better place for you)

9) Use common sense; If a guy bumps into you, leave it go. He's probably drunk like you. Smile. Nobody likes to see a mopy SOB. Don't pick fights. Don't order 2 drinks w/o a tip and expect to be waited on again, etc...

10) If you venture out to Penn State (State College or University Park, PA) make sure to shoot me a PM

And those are the Heckler's 10 Bar Commandments. Feel free to add your own

I think I convinced my buddy that the "green fries" he ordered were really just fried green beans.......

He was pretty toasted.....

...that the "green fries" he ordered were really just fried green beans.......

He was pretty toasted.....

Sorry... Don't get what ya mean? :whoknows:

I'm guessing that his buddy ordered some french fries that were dyed green because of St. Patty's day. He then convinced his buddy that they weren't french fries, but actually green beans that had been fried.....

BTW...... what bar do you work at in St. College??

Remembering an Onion article, which made reference to "the annual event known as The Reinforcin' of the Stereotypes".

Ah yes. Some things never change. It wasn't all that different in the few places I worked at in NOVA way back when, and certainly not here when I was bartending, (though there are a few to add when you have a band that is a Grateful Dead clone playing that night. :doh: ).

BTW...... what bar do you work at in St. College??

Bill Pickle's Taproom. Best. Job. Ever.

I failed #6 yesterday to many carbombs and an oyster shooter without much food. Lets just say i would not use one of the mens urinals or sinks......

I failed #6 yesterday to many carbombs and an oyster shooter without much food. Lets just say i would not use one of the mens urinals or sinks......

:doh: Ok, We'll let you slide this time boom. Next time, you're outta here

FYI, I wanted one of those sooooooo bad. One of my coworkers, came in and got trashed. He comes up "I just did and Irish Bus Bomb." We look at each other, then to him, "What the hell is that?" --- Long story short instead of half a pint and a shot of bailey's, it's half a PITCHER and a rocks glass for a shot. Needless to say, at closing we had to go out of our way and drive him home

Pitcher and Bailey's should never, never be used in the same sentence. :yikes:

FYI, I wanted one of those sooooooo bad. One of my coworkers, came in and got trashed. He comes up "I just did and Irish Bus Bomb." We look at each other, then to him, "What the hell is that?" --- Long story short instead of half a pint and a shot of bailey's, it's half a PITCHER and a rocks glass for a shot. Needless to say, at closing we had to go out of our way and drive him home

:rotflmao:

That guy hates himself today.

/PB scribbles himself a note.

:doh: Ok, We'll let you slide this time boom. Next time, you're outta here

FYI, I wanted one of those sooooooo bad. One of my coworkers, came in and got trashed. He comes up "I just did and Irish Bus Bomb." We look at each other, then to him, "What the hell is that?" --- Long story short instead of half a pint and a shot of bailey's, it's half a PITCHER and a rocks glass for a shot. Needless to say, at closing we had to go out of our way and drive him home

well if you put all the carbombs i had it would equal that

now did he drink it like a shot??? dam that is insane

when you drink alot don't think oysters and calamari is enough food

well if you put all the carbombs i had it would equal that

now did he drink it like a shot??? dam that is insane

when you drink alot don't think oysters and calamari is enough food

St Paddy's Commandment #1 is Thou Shalt Lay Down a Solid Beer Base. Thats practically what corned beef and cabbage were invented for.

if a bar charges $6 a draft regardless of which beer you order, do you still owe them a tip?

if a bar charges $6 a draft regardless of which beer you order, do you still owe them a tip?

yes you cheap **** :laugh: :laugh:

i like that you posted tips for the general public. i know as a waitress it's frustrating as hell when customers just don't know how things work, and are totally ignorant. you never really will understand how to be a good customer until you've been in the shoes of the person serving you... no matter where you are.

You work in a bar with a bunch of DRUNK people and you expect them to have some integrity...... dream on!

i like that you posted tips for the general public. i know as a waitress it's frustrating as hell when customers just don't know how things work, and are totally ignorant. you never really will understand how to be a good customer until you've been in the shoes of the person serving you... no matter where you are.

i bartended for 10 years i think everyone should work at a restaurant our bar once in their life

Is St Patty's day also a "bouncers will be bigger jackasses then usual?"

I never have any problems when I go out with doormen, bouncers or bartenders, but last night had issues at 2 bars with cursing doormen/bouncers

Is St Patty's day also a "bouncers will be bigger jackasses then usual?"

I never have any problems when I go out with doormen, bouncers or bartenders, but last night had issues at 2 bars with cursing doormen/bouncers

On St Paddy's, everyone is irish.

:secret: The irish like to fight. :laugh:

On St Paddy's, everyone is irish.

:secret: The irish like to fight. :laugh:

:obvious: :laugh: :laugh:

Is St Patty's day also a "bouncers will be bigger jackasses then usual?"

I never have any problems when I go out with doormen, bouncers or bartenders, but last night had issues at 2 bars with cursing doormen/bouncers

Could be alot of things. Been my experience that St Patty's night is a classic amatuer night. Young folks still learning how to handle their first drinks in public and older folks who never could. People starting the day early, (fun thing to do on St. Patty's day). People who don't go out alot showing up and of course, the regular crowd. Then you add in the fact that this year it came on a weekend night, and things can get a bit hectic. And let's not forget that many bars do something special for the day and charge at the door for it, (always something that will get people fussing before they even get into the place). Doorman/bouncers have already had some tough times already and could be just a bit on edge. Or, they're already *******s and that doesn't help. It's basically a tough night to work at times. Hell just knowing what's coming can make the folks at the door pissy.

I know in this town, it's because of all of the above, plus it's getting near the end of the season. We've been in the snow since October and tourists have been flooding the place since Thanksgiving. Just about everyone in the services industry has worked no less than 40 hours a week and have been dealing with all kinds of nonsense for almost 5 months. Tips are great but even that can't help the burnout by this time, ( by this time of the season when I was bartending, I was doing 4-6 shots before I even started my shift. Pre-emptive stress management technique ).

Edit: Commandment to management. In hurry to get things going for St. Patty's Day, never, never have bartenders add green food coloring to beer and such behing bar as orders come in, (that crap just doesn't come out of the clothes and gives you green hands for 2 days. :doh: ).

:rotflmao:

That guy hates himself today.

/PB scribbles himself a note.

The dude was driven home by one of my friends... The manager was pissed at him so bad. The kid came into work today and was yelled at for a decent while - doghouse for him. I was talking to him today and he was asking me details of what happened and how he got home.

if a bar charges $6 a draft regardless of which beer you order, do you still owe them a tip?

If you're in the city, definitely. Always more expensive there. Like I think I said prior: You don't tip, don't expect to be waited on quickly or at all.

Is St Patty's day also a "bouncers will be bigger jackasses then usual?"

I never have any problems when I go out with doormen, bouncers or bartenders, but last night had issues at 2 bars with cursing doormen/bouncers

Well it could be for 2 reasons. 1 being they really are a-holes. I know a few bars here that they just cross their arms, act tough, and look for people to toss. Second and probably biggest reason, after so long in a bar, you jus get frustrated because you'd think - drunk or not - people would use their heads. I may get rowdy sometimes, but at least I consider others and know what the hell I'm doing.

***Sorry about multiple posts***

On a little side note, Tony Hunt, Tamba Hali, Jay Alford, and 2 other guys that I didnt recognize (but had to have been on the team) stopped in a couple nights ago. Pretty cool. Thought Tamba was little smaller than I expected - still a big boy though. Tony stepped outside early waiting for the rest. When they didn't come out, he poked his head back in and asked the heckler for permission if he could come back in. At the risk of having my ass kicked by a PSU icon and future NFL player, I let him back in w/o a cover :laugh: . Polite guy, and obviously we had a decent tipout on a otherwise slow night.