afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 ok, please have an open mind and i would like advice from everyone, black, white, asian, male, female etc...and in case you don't know, i am a white male...ok here is a situation I experienced this last week A few months ago I requested from my employer a change in location. nothing drastic just closer to my home. A positon came open at my desired location and I applied for it. No one else applied for it and based on my experience and qualifications, I was selected for the position. ok, so I am taking a break from work and conversing with a black female in my company who I thought was a friend and I told her I was selected for the job and because of the added responsibilities I would also be getting a decent raise. She started telling me that I was lying about the raise and if the company told me I was getting a raise then they were lying to me. She started to get very angry because my response was 'why would they tell me that if it wasn't true?" So my second day at my new job, this same person emails me and starts inquiring about my salary. To play it safe, i told her it was none of her business. She said she would call the boss and she would tell her. i replied back, that the boss is not going to tell her what i make. She started getting nasty again and started saying she didn't give a damn, blah, blah, blah, She then said not to email her again, she was getting pissed and she would show me her 'black' side. now what would you do in this situation and what are your thoughts? If you have questions, i will honestly answer them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blade Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I would take these emails to your boss and cover your ass ASAP.... detail to your boss or your EEO officer (if you have one) EVERYTHING that has occurred up to this point. It sounds like VERY bizarre behavior, man... be sure to make it VERY CLEAR that you are worried about this persons threats, and do not feel that this behavior is warranted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuck Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I'm not sure what showing you her "black" side is supposed to mean? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Blade I would take these emails to your boss and cover your ass ASAP.... detail to your boss or your EEO officer (if you have one) EVERYTHING that has occurred up to this point. It sounds like VERY bizarre behavior, man... Blade, i hear you but there is no ass to cover! i have done absolutely nothing wrong except follow the guidelines for transferring to a new position. i could have cared less about the raise, it came with the responsibilities of the new job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 to me it seems like the best course of action is to let the whole thing drop, and not email her as she requested. you dont want her to be able to say you harassed her, and as long as she cant say that, everything should be fine since she initiated the whole thing. just out of curiousity, is she higher up in the company than you, to where she could request this type of information? it seems to me like anyone that curious who was allowed to have such information already would. i hope all this works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I would ignore her,unless you care enough about her feelings to find out what the problem is. Of course I have never worked in a office So Blades advice is probally better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I think Blade is referring to having some sort of paper trail so to speak. Given what you two discussed originally was word of mouth, you have the e-mails. They can be (more or less) on paper...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by nickfox45 to me it seems like the best course of action is to let the whole thing drop, and not email her as she requested. you dont want her to be able to say you harassed her, and as long as she cant say that, everything should be fine since she initiated the whole thing. just out of curiousity, is she higher up in the company than you, to where she could request this type of information? it seems to me like anyone that curious who was allowed to have such information already would. i hope all this works out. that is where the problem is....see, she has been in the company for five years. i have only been in it for 18 months (i am retired military). her anger is directed because i am getting paid more. Believe me when i tell you, that our company would not put her in my new position if she was the last person on earth. The customers who we work for in this particular situation bascially handpicked me based on my resume. She doesn't have the skills. She does basic work. That is the honest truth. plus, if she wanted to make more money she should put in for a position that pays more...no one is stopping her from doing that....there are a number of positions vacant that she could apply for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 afparent, If you've done nothing wrong, you better cya! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Darth Tater afparent, If you've done nothing wrong, you better cya! thanks, but like i said earlier there is no ass to cover....she has no juice....there is nothing she can do to me. i did nothing wrong...that is the honest truth....she showed her hand! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by afparent that is where the problem is....see, she has been in the company for five years. i have only been in it for 18 months (i am retired military). her anger is directed because i am getting paid more. Believe me when i tell you, that our company would not put her in my new position if she was the last person on earth. The customers who we work for in this particular situation bascially handpicked me based on my resume. She doesn't have the skills. She does basic work. That is the honest truth. plus, if she wanted to make more money she should put in for a position that pays more...no one is stopping her from doing that....there are a number of positions vacant that she could apply for. it does seem like her anger is based entirely on the issue of the raise and not you changing branches or areas. theres obviously a reason that she wasnt selected for the position, and im sure the people in charge as well as everyone else knows that. it seems like youre in a pretty secure position even though you've been there far less time, since you've proven yourself enough to be promoted so rapidly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TK Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Never, ever discuss your pay with a co-worker. Do what Blade was talking about & get the papertrail together. Sounds like she's going to drag you into a mess & make you look bad, just so she can get a raise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by nickfox45 it does seem like her anger is based entirely on the issue of the raise and not you changing branches or areas. theres obviously a reason that she wasnt selected for the position, and im sure the people in charge as well as everyone else knows that. it seems like youre in a pretty secure position even though you've been there far less time, since you've proven yourself enough to be promoted so rapidly. thanks but i want to make something perfectly clear...she did not put in for the position or any position for that matter!!! There are positions available for her to put in for...she doesn't want to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Zuck I'm not sure what showing you her "black" side is supposed to mean? :laugh: The guy I ran the shop for in CT use to say I would get "Italian" when pizzed. I tend to agree with Blade and BG. Even though you haven't done anything wrong, documenting the problem is important. Some companies don't aprove of it's employees even bringing up a raise for just this reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by TK-IV II I Never, ever discuss your pay with a co-worker. Do what Blade was talking about & get the papertrail together. Sounds like she's going to drag you into a mess & make you look bad, just so she can get a raise. but see here is the kicker...just like in just about every other company, you have to move or take a position with more responsibilites to get a raise...we were briefed on that. Believe me when i say she couldn't do my new job...it is high level, high profile..that is why the pay is so good. She can put in for other jobs just like everyone else...she won't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickfox45 Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 i would definitely save the emails in case she chooses to do anything but not bother to bring it up to your boss unless she does. like you said, shes already shown her hand, and youll have the emails to back it up. is there anything in your company policy that prevents you from discussing salaries with other employees? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxito Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 I have a question, were you friends with her before you a new position? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thiebear Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 1st: Cover your ass with your boss as to not talking about what you make and what the raise is... its a firing offense at my last two companies 2nd: Tell your boss what is going on so he/she is not blindsided... no boss appreciates that. And if they know the facts when their boss approaches them, they can squelch it right there. 3rd: Do whatever you want with the friend but do not talk about your money or raise (see #1). I had a guy that was at the company and i came in and apparently took the position he wanted... when he finally left it made life alot easier as he never saw me as anything other than the guy that got his job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blondie Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Blade I would take these emails to your boss and cover your ass ASAP.... detail to your boss or your EEO officer (if you have one) EVERYTHING that has occurred up to this point. EXACTLY. The best defense ESPECIALLY when you have NO clue what is coming next is a good offense. Do not email her at all. Do not respond to emails. She can say you are harassing her. afparent quote: thanks, but like i said earlier there is no ass to cover....she has no juice....there is nothing she can do to me. i did nothing wrong...that is the honest truth....she showed her hand! You are not understanding aparent. If does NOT matter if you have done nothing wrong. If she accuses you of anything, or shows you her "black" side.......(I have said I would turn ethnic.....I KNOW what she means)........then the boss has to take time out of her day or days to deal with this. Gather the emails.......ask for a meeting with the boss. Calmly explain you think there might be a misunderstanding with the coworker and briefly explain. Ask if the policy is to take care of it between the two of you......or would the boss feel more comfortable being informed. AS A BOSS........I would rather stop something before it effects the production or service of our company. Blondie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by Maxito I have a question, were you friends with her before you a new position? yes, a couple of weeks ago she even said that in an email...she said 'look you are my friend' not a close friend, but a friend to BS at work you know...if she saw me in the hallway, she would always yell for me, she would send me an email and say meet me down the hall and stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
afparent Posted January 26, 2005 Author Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by nickfox45 i would definitely save the emails in case she chooses to do anything but not bother to bring it up to your boss unless she does. like you said, shes already shown her hand, and youll have the emails to back it up. is there anything in your company policy that prevents you from discussing salaries with other employees? no, there is no company policy but everyone basically knows what everyone else makes because of their title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pga Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 :2cents: Like has been discussed, take the paper trail to your boss and have a casual conversation about the events that have transpired and how they make you feel. Honesty with someone can't do you wrong and it will let them know that whatever she is up to, that she is up to something. :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darth Tater Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 Originally posted by afparent thanks, but like i said earlier there is no ass to cover....she has no juice....there is nothing she can do to me. i did nothing wrong...that is the honest truth....she showed her hand! so you're saying this job does not require a clearance or anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchogs Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 i agree with blade, tk, and blondie...cya no matter what. she could tell your boss some crazy sh!t that you would have to prove false. also, like blondie said, any boss would appreciate the heads up just in case it does become a problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMac Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 You say there is no a$$ to cover but your wrong. All this woman has to say is that you talked about $$ with your new position and you will be canned. She can make things up. She obviously has issues and throwing her "black" thing goes to prove she is vindictive. Even though the amount was not discussed no companies will stand for employees talking "shop" I work closely with all our clients HR Dept and it is common knowledge that you dont talk about anything financially. I agree with Blade that you need to print off these emails because you could be called to explain yourself and its good to have a fall back plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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