Washington Post: After six Woodson High suicides, a search for solace and answers

[PCS]

Sad to see this at my old high school. I had some friends who went there who helped with a multi-generational response to the latest suicides called something like Woodson strong.  I know that even when I was there a few hundred years ago in the late 70's there was a strong drive for academic excellence. More so than a few other schools I went to around the country it seemed.  

[Zguy28]

Possibly, but it could also be the opposite. For example, a parent who shouts at the coaches over their kid's playing time, the refs because of a penalty every game, or the kids for making a mistake can be just as bad as a parent who never goes to a game.  

 

The school is a symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. They are under just as much pressure from the parents for Junior to get a 4.0+, play sports, volunteer, etc. as Junior is. Where the issue with the school lies is how they have been addressing the issue previously, and the fact that it took 6 suicides in a short span to wake people up to a problem that has been going on in Woodson for a while now.

 

To me, the part you quoted is indicative of the underlying problem in the community that the school serves. The push for students, by their parents, to essentially  over-achieve so that they can get into top schools and thus be "successful" is very high, higher than in many other areas. Living there I saw a sense of, I guess I would call it superiority though that is not exactly right, in many of those I worked with and lived around. And part of that was that kids today are "coddled", that "kids today whine too much and when I was a kid we did what we had to do" attitude which is not conducive to kids talking to their parents about stress and other issues. And instead of looking in the mirror and considering they may be part of the problem, they look at the school and point fingers when they should be asking how they can help their children remain centered and emotionally healthy.

 

Edit:

 

To be fair though, the finger pointing by parents is not limited to just the city of Fairfax, it is nation-wide. I worked as a teacher in a school district that was the exact opposite of Fairfax, where parents saw school as a waste of time since Junior was just going to end up working at the mill like his dad and grandfather did. However, it was not stress and suicide that parents were yelling about, but violence, gangs, teen pregnancy, and drug abuse that they expected the schools to solve. Not a word said about the fact that those yelling the most were the ones who belonged to a gang, drank, and had the son/daughter at age 14. 

Even if they are the "yelling parents" kind, its just as bad. Neither takes the time to understand or get to know their kids. Either its disinterest and/or laziness, or living vicariously through them. Bad all around. Take the time to know your kids, guide them, teach them, train them for life, yourself. Let them learn from your mistakes. Explain your reasoning.  Engage them. Be honest with them and most of all listen and take a genuine interest. And be ready when it sounds totally contrary to what you think or know is best.

[Jumbo]

Pj...I echo what others said, amigo...

[Dan T.]

I wonder if there is an element of contagiousness to the suicides at Woodson, in the sense that when another suicide occurs at the same school, it plants a tiny seed in another student  who may be inclined anyway to ideate the thought of suicide.  A schoolmate's death makes it real and puts it at the forefront of others' consciousness.

 

And speaking of ideation, I was struck by the young man who jumped to his death from the parking garage at Northern Virginia Communtity College just days after attending a suicide prevention seminar at Woodson, where "a nationally renowned speaker" told the teens a cautionary tale about how he had leaped off a building and survived.  

[Zazzaro703]

I think that the stress put on them by parents and teachers greatly exceeds any they put on themselves.

Not only that, there are new and easier ways to bully and embarass kids. With social media people can be bullied by totally new ways and in front of way more people. And lets face it, some kids are absolutely terrible with they way the relentlessly pick on some people.

[Bang]

glad you're still with us, PJ, You are one of my favorite posters.

 

 

this will sound awful, but.

i was somewhat lucky in that an acquaintance of my son (Step-sister from the other side of the family's boyfriend) killed himself over something very stupid, one of those "I'll show THEM" moments.

I have been able to use this as an example ever since,, and I continually bring it up. You see how soon he's been forgotten? You see how little his grand gesture meant? You see how everyone's life has gone on,, except his? He achieved nothing, and no one felt sorry for him, or understood anything, all his suicide created among those he wanted to 'show" was anger, followed soon by apathy.

 

it is a scary thing.. and teenage minds are hard to read. As a parent, it's been a primary effort to get him to realize that he can trust me with any problem, and I've demonstrated that as well.. as it stands, he's fine, i really have no fear of this anymore, and our relationship is very trusting,, when he does have a problem, he will come to me.

 

Now my fear is drunk driving..another thing i continually make references to.  i don't think he'd do it,,, but i worry he might get in a car with someone who has.

standing order: Call me, no matter what time,, I won't embarrass him or even show up to where he is. I tell him to just excuse himself and walk down the street from wherever he is, and I'll pick him up there.

 

~Bang

[pjfootballer]

Pj...I echo what others said, amigo...

Appreciate it.

[pjfootballer]

glad you're still with us, PJ, You are one of my favorite posters.

~Bang

I take it one day at a time. I know it sounds corny, but that's all I can do. I was so afraid of counseling, but you know, I feel 100 pounds lighter. Like Steve Young, I needed someone to get the monkey off my back.

I still have my days that I let my anxieties and emotions get the best of me, but I'm learning how to handle things without everything being a world crisis. And I love coming in here and appreciate a lot of you guys.

[redskin-one]

WTW Class of 1984 - makes me sad this is happening at my alma mater. I knew one kid who committed suiside in the 4 year attended and one who died at a construction site accident. As a parent now I can't imagine the pressure my kids go thru. Especially with social media.