Making big decisions before maariage that would have a big impact on a marriage

[CrypticVillain]

I wish I could come up with a better title but I can't....

Anyways, I was thinking has anyone ever brought a house while they were single? If you did, did you get married and how did it workout after you were married?

If you didn't buy a house before you were married, would you have brought one?

The reason I asked because I am thinking about buying a house within the next year or two, but the thing that I am thinking about is getting married. What if me and my wife are still paying for a house and whatnot? I wondered how that would workout....

[I_Bleed_B&G]

I bought a house in 2005 when I was single and then met my wife shortly after and got married in 2008. I bought my place because of proximity to work. When my wife moved in, it would take her about 50 minutes to commute on a good day. So we ended up moving closer to her work. Needless to say, I bought in a hot market and then the bubble burst. I still have my house, but i've been renting it out ever since we moved and we are actually renting. If I could do it all over, I wouldn't have bought my house because the bubble bursting and because I didn't know I was getting married. We haven't bought another house because she is in her last year of residency and we will most likely be moving for fellowship to another state. So we are waiting out until she is settled with her career before we buy again

[skinfan2k]

I am going to do the same thing but my parents have told me that in that situation they would put the house i buy on rent and use it as an investment property

[Elessar78]

The reason I asked because I am thinking about buying a house within the next year or two, but the thing that I am thinking about is getting married. What if me and my wife are still paying for a house and whatnot? I wondered how that would workout....

I don't understand this part. What do you mean? Are you previously married?

[DC9]

What if me and my wife are still paying for a house and whatnot?

I met my wife while I was stationed in Alaska. We lived in Alaska for a year after we started dating and then we got married and moved to Seattle for several years. Then we moved out here and bought a house full knowing that we were going to have to leave again.

The things I weighed before buying:

1) Do I want to retire here? Yes. I grew up here and my wife loves it and our house.

2) Can I rent this out to someone and either break even or make money off of it? Yes - based on the market in my area, if I just ask for the cost of my mortgage and maybe a touch more to cover some other things, I will be fine.

3) Are there going to be jobs in the area where I can work when I come back here/do retire? Yes.

4) (And probably the most important) Does she like it here/will she like it here long term? In my case - yes.

Now is a great time to buy because interest rates are low and it's a buyers market. IF the housing market ever picks back up, you'll probably be able to sell and upgrade or live comfortably in an area where you wouldn't.

I paid over $200k less for my house than the person I bought it from (foreclosure) which has given me all kinds of extra money to spend on projects to upgrade the house, etc. I've added a ton of value to my house and I've only owned it for 3 years.

I would talk to your girl, see if it's something she is interested in, and then talk about where you want to be in 3, 5, and 10 years and weigh how you want to handle the housing situation. I'd see what you both need out of a house and check the internet out. You'll also be able to check records to see how much those houses sold for. If you haven't looked at this before, it'll probably make your jaw drop if we are talking between 2005-ish to now.

Buying isn't for everyone, it definitely creates it's own headaches. But if you are going to do it, do it now.

Does she already own a home?

Good luck!

[CrypticVillain]

I don't understand this part. What do you mean? Are you previously married?

I knew I should have worded that differently The wife I was talking about would be a "future" wife. If a women I was planning to marry had a house before we met.

---------- Post added February-15th-2013 at 07:32 PM ----------

I met my wife while I was stationed in Alaska. We lived in Alaska for a year after we started dating and then we got married and moved to Seattle for several years. Then we moved out here and bought a house full knowing that we were going to have to leave again.

Buying isn't for everyone, it definitely creates it's own headaches. But if you are going to do it, do it now.

Does she already own a home?

Good luck!

I wouldn't even say I am in relationship right now, that's why I am asking if someone has brought a house while they were single.

I knew it would probably be a risk, and based on the replies so far I am probably right.

Luckily, the housing market is great for buyers right now, but my biggest fear is buying a house, falling in love with a girl, and she doesn't like the house. I am kind of a worst case scenario person....

[Elessar78]

I knew I should have worded that differently The wife I was talking about would be a "future" wife. If a women I was planning to marry had a house before we met.

Oh that's simple, man. Keep both houses and try to rent one out. Live in the one that you like better or more convenient. Or live in the less-desirable one so you ocould rent out the "nicer" one for a bigger profit.

My mom and step dad got married both had their own houses. Mom kept her house and moved into step-dads and they charge more than the mortgage so they turn a tiny profit.

The only thing I'd watch for is the tax implications. Individually both are tax deductible, but if one becomes rental property I think the tax situation changes and it could push you guys into a higher bracket. Also watch for the cost of being a landlord—you have to make repairs on that rental property.

[twa]

Yep, as long as you are buying value and not overextending yourself it makes sense to buy now.

if you cannot rent it or sell at or above the costs, you are paying for more than you need

[DC9]

I wouldn't even say I am in relationship right now, that's why I am asking if someone has brought a house while they were single.

I knew it would probably be a risk, and based on the replies so far I am probably right.

Luckily, the housing market is great for buyers right now, but my biggest fear is buying a house, falling in love with a girl, and she doesn't like the house. I am kind of a worst case scenario person....

Screw that, man. Do you. Buy a house if you want to (take advantage of the market) and if you find a girl sooner or later, deal with it then. If it's the right kind of house, you'll be able to let her add to it how she likes any ways. Now a days, you can't go wrong with an open floor plan and a basement, brother.

Having a basement is a man's best friend, because your girl can decide how she wants to finish it. Long term projects make relationships strong and keep it interesting.

Bottom line, brother, if you like a house and it's something that you think will be in the cards for you, buy it. Just do your homework (like you were saying, research rental properties and see what they are asking for vs what you'll be paying in mortgage, location and what's around it, etc.)

Good luck.

[Kosher Ham]

What type of woman doesn't want a man that has his own home ? If anything you will become more of a pimp. Seriously.

Property always goes up...eventually. Take a look at G'Town and the Adams Morgan area as prime examples, but even the downtown areas just north of Chinatown...where it has blown up.

[Elessar78]

Property always goes up...eventually. Take a look at G'Town and the Adams Morgan area as prime examples, but even the downtown areas just north of Chinatown...where it has blown up.

Wha?? I guess this is technically true but only if you have a long enough horizon and a good enough job that won't make you move to wait it out. There are millions across the country who would attest to that. It could take a long time to turn a decent profit.

In the 80s you couldn't hang out in parts of DC after dark that are now considered good areas, who knows if things will swing back in the next 30 years with all the upheaval in the gov't.

[Kosher Ham]

Wha?? I guess this is technically true but only if you have a long enough horizon and a good enough job that won't make you move to wait it out. There are millions across the country who would attest to that. It could take a long time to turn a decent profit.

In the 80s you couldn't hang out in parts of DC after dark that are now considered good areas, who knows if things will swing back in the next 30 years with all the upheaval in the gov't.

You have to be smart about where you buy. Check it all out. I have a buddy near me that bought a condo ( D.C. prices) and they fought against a car wash being built across the street. I asked him seriously...you never thought about that 2 lane highly used road, you never thought about that human waste facility a block away, you never thought about the mall traffic three blocks away ?

In the 80's the area North of where the "new" convention center is was filled with hookers, pimps, and such. Chinatown was simply Chinatown...not where the Caps, Bullets, and Hoyas play.

[8181]

My advice:

Depends on why you're looking to buy a place.

Advantages:

You will get a huge bump in credit. You will be able to take out huge ass loans.

You will be forced to save money by making payments and building equity a little bit at a time.

Girls love guys who own.

You could get lucky.

Disadvantages:

Unless you get lucky, you will most likely lose money as an investment property - Not necessarily on the balance sheet, but the fact you could have most likely easily gotten more for your money through other sorts of investments.

Flexibility... What happens if you have to move for whatever reason. And even if you don't HAVE to move, you'd just rather stay, just because... Well that's where your house is.

What MOST people don't seem to realize is that a HOME is historically a depreciating asset, just like a CAR. Land has historically been an appreciating one....

If I were you, and as young as you, I would buy a cheap property. Not a single family home, but just something to boost your credit that will open up more opportunities for you in the future (kind of weird how you have to borrow money to be able to borrow more money, ain't it?). This can open up all sorts of opportunities for you, such as buying a bigger and better home whenever you get married, starting a business, whatever.

I would not buy something expecting it to be an investment property other than to diversify your asset portfolio.

My opinion is the real estate market is ****ed up right now due to artificially low interest rates and the sudden paranoia that prices will go up again, while at the same the American job market is nowhere good enough to support it. Plus a lot of uncertainty in the DC area

Just my opinion.

[Elessar78]

You don't need to own a home to have great credit—pay your bills on time for many consecutive years, have a low debt to income ratio, and length of credit history is about 80% of the equation. Owning a home could work against your credit score as it might eat into your debt to income ratio.

But then, as long as your financial house is in order, it's a great time to buy a house. But don't let that be the deciding factor—especially "Girls love guys who own." Debateable at best. Who knows? Test it out. Casually let your mortgage coupons fall out of your pocket next time you're in a bar.

[8181]

You don't need to own a home to have great credit—pay your bills on time for many consecutive years, have a low debt to income ratio, and length of credit history is about 80% of the equation. Owning a home could work against your credit score as it might eat into your debt to income ratio.

Just some notes: If we're talkign about fico scores, they don't take income into account.

If we're talking about what kind of standards lending institutions actually use:

During the huge credit crunch, you would have this type of scenarios:

$100,000 income, 750 credit score, never owned a car before - REJECTED by BMW

$60,000 income, 690 credit score, owned and paid off a car before - ACCEPTED by BMW

Same thing with all sorts of bigger loans, those with mortgages are more likely to be approved than someone who has never had a mortgage, with debt to income being a relatively small factor

[DC9]

Casually let your mortgage coupons fall out of your pocket next time you're in a bar.

Hahaha. That was funny. I needed that, Elessar. I've been up since 4:30 with my kids. Thanks.

[skinsmarydu]

When we were dating, hubby and I each had a house, 15 miles apart (kinda cool, huh?) We dated for 6 years before moving in together, and I managed to sell mine in 2 days at the end of the bubble to HomeVestors (the "we buy ugly houses" people), while my next-door neighbor had had his on the market for 2 years and hadn't even gotten a serious offer. I walked away with nothing, which was actually the point, just to gtfo, so to speak.

And for the record, I HATE MY HUSBAND'S HOUSE. It's one of those stupid 70's split-level jobs with stairs (mine was a ranch, sans stairs.) But now, we're underwater, got a re-fi, but no hope of ever being able to sell without a miracle.

But it's 34 degrees outside, and I guess I'm blessed to have shelter.

[CrypticVillain]

Casually let your mortgage coupons fall out of your pocket next time you're in a bar.

Casually let it fall out my pockets? Why can't I make it rain?

[shuler74]

Dont get married, if things dont work out she'll get half.......or sign a pre nup.....lost my house in divorce and she got half when I put down 35,000 (not her) before we got married

[greenspandan]

I bought a townhouse in 1999 when I was single (well, in a relationship). Lived with two buddies for a few years who helped pay the mortgage and bills. When we got engaged, I gave my friends 3 months to move out and it got a bit awkward, but overall it all worked out great.