Burgold Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Normally disgruntled Redskin Albert Haynesworth showed up at Redskins Park yesterday demanding to be let it. Security guards refused noting that current NFL players are barred from team facilities. In response according to reports, Haynesworth began banging on the doors in a drunken tirade that lasted over half an hour at one point shouted. "I need to work out you (bleeps). If I proved anything over the last two years it's that I'm not a player. I do what I want. Rules don't apply to me you (bleeping bleeps). I love you guys." When teammates and ex-girlfriends were told about this they all agreed that Haynesworth was indeed not a player and had much less game than advertised. In other news, Haynesworth just returned from a trip to England where he says he dropped a hundred pounds. "It takes a lot of money to get a guy this big drunk and I'm a good tipper." the Nose Tackle... errr... defensive tackle... the sleepy time manekin proudly confessed. "My tips are good for the American economy that's why I spent so much in London. I'm a patriot." When told that London was not part of the United States, Haynesworth became confused and belligerant. "Don't tell me what I don't know. I don't know ****! I'm a college graduate! Hey, I rhymed. London was the capitol of the United States before they moved it to Washington. It was capitol back when they called George Washington was King. I think he was George three or something. I know my history, man!" In other news, most Redskins fans are tired of Albert Haynesworth news, but we're sure he'll keep generating more... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfWashington Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 When told that London was not part of the United States, Haynesworth became confused and belligerant. Oh Lord. :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KDawg Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 ... I should have known better than to even click the thread, so I can't even say, "Why do I log on here on April 1st". Carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
authentic Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 The Lockout + April 1st = :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKM311 Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Great post. Love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HapHaszard Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Darn how did I miss this one in the BRBN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Rare vid of Haynesworthless actually working out (from his Twitter): http://bit.ly/gAO2CO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonOfWashington Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Rare vid of Haynesworthless actually working out (from his Twitter):http://bit.ly/gAO2CO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#98QBKiller Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 London Fletcher responds: I don't like to ever speak badly about a team mate, but no to my knowledge I was not named after a former capitol of the United States. I was named after a bridge that was purchased and transported brick by brick to Lake Havasu City, Arizona, United States. Mom always thought that was pretty funny. She always said, "Wouldn't it have been cheaper just to build a new bridge that looked like the London Bridge?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woofer Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I guy I know who works in the record industry said that Albert was so impressed with his rhyme that he's decided to become a rapper. He said he likes candy bar wrappers too, so it's a good fit. At last report, Albert was busy looking through a dictionary looking for a rhyme with "purple". He's sure he heard one once in History class. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKOALSKIN Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 He's here all night folks! FAIL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 Oh Lord. :rotflmao: The Lockout + April 1st = :doh: Great post. Love it. He's here all night folks! FAIL Methinks your sense of humor needs a tune up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icbmayday Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I must thank you for this just gave my work day some life... Hilarious!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinFaninOKC Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Link?? Attribution?? NNT this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Busch1724 Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Somehow Bang could do a cartoon with that story Burgold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 One day we should team up. We did once in the past and it was excellent. If Bang wants it as long as he attributes the idea to me (and writing if he uses the language) then I'm cool with him having this to play with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brett81 Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I seriously hope after reading the thread title, on today of all days, that nobody would think anything worthwhile was to follow...I'll have to admit while funny, there was no tongue in cheek comedy involved to elicit responses of "did he really do this?"...because just the thought of him going to Redskins Park is incomprehensible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted April 1, 2011 Author Share Posted April 1, 2011 Yeah, this was a different slice of April Fool's humor. The fool was not really intended to be the reader. Although if that happened I would chuckle. This was a simple humor piece just having fun with the ridiculous. From what I understand though, Albert was very upset though at the doors of Redskins Park being barred. Albert is a great proponent of individual and private workouts. This made Redskins Park the perfect venue for his superhuman training regimine. More, how can he get attention for not showing up if no one else is either. Even more, once he heard that Redskins Park was barred he thought he could go there and get his booze with an employee discount. He was all excited to meet Sam, Woody, and the Coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJValleySkinz Posted April 1, 2011 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Normally disgruntled Redskin Albert Haynesworth showed up at Redskins Park yesterday demanding to be let it. Security guards refused noting that current NFL players are barred from team facilities. In response according to reports, Haynesworth began banging on the doors in a drunken tirade that lasted over half an hour at one point shouted."I need to work out you (bleeps). If I proved anything over the last two years it's that I'm not a player. I do what I want. Rules don't apply to me you (bleeping bleeps). I love you guys." When teammates and ex-girlfriends were told about this they all agreed that Haynesworth was indeed not a player and had much less game than advertised. In other news, Haynesworth just returned from a trip to England where he says he dropped a hundred pounds. "It takes a lot of money to get a guy this big drunk and I'm a good tipper." the Nose Tackle... errr... defensive tackle... the sleepy time manekin proudly confessed. "My tips are good for the American economy that's why I spent so much in London. I'm a patriot." When told that London was not part of the United States, Haynesworth became confused and belligerant. "Don't tell me what I don't know. I don't know ****! I'm a college graduate! Hey, I rhymed. London was the capitol of the United States before they moved it to Washington. It was capitol back when they called George Washington was King. I think he was George three or something. I know my history, man!" In other news, most Redskins fans are tired of Albert Haynesworth news, but we're sure he'll keep generating more... Kinda tips you off before you even get started Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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