Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 ElectionCenter2008 TLC Announces Candidacy, Touts Platform CNN STORY HIGHLIGHTS: Marriage remains legal Tax break to pay for hookers Free birth control Have pie/eat too WASHINGTON, DC, June 29, 2008- Thank you so much. I am grateful that you clicked on this thread. I stand here, in Georgetown, in front of the historic 'Good Guys' gentlemen's club, to make a very important announcement. I'm fired up. You're here because you believe in what the country can be. In the face of despair, you see hope. In the face of celibacy, you see punani. We can be ONE people, not in the racial sense but in the reproductive sense, unified, united, in a more perfect union. I've worked hard (pun intended) to diversify my ***** portfolio over the years, and all that came to a screeching halt once I tied the knot. Variety has gone out the window, breakfast each and every day is corn flakes; the pancakes are no more. And that is why, in the shadow of the greatest strip club, where many great men have received lapdances and backroom ****-***s, I stand before you to announce my candidacy for POTUSA. My opponents, h_h and SO, are spouting the same ole tired message. Get rid of marriage altogether, or government mandate of the same ***** every day. Well, it's time for the special interests to stop poking around your bedroom (pun intended) and usher in a new era for all who love *****, many different *****'s in fact, and also enjoy the benefits of marriage. My plan will keep marriage legal, thus preserving the family unit. It shall however, not mandate a quota system (SO's sexual affirmative-action) but shall provide the following: A $3,600 tax break for every married man in America. That's enough for one $300 hooker a month, or three $100 girls off of Craigslist. Free medical exams and checkups for STD panels. Increased education and insurance coverage for condoms and other birth control. Wives will benefit, as they will not feel the pressures of a leghumping husband, so they will actually increase ***** output by 33% per annum. As a country we need to wean ourselves off of our ***** addiction, and do more green research on alternative forms of entertainment, like better video games, football messageboards, and *****-in-a-can within 10 years. (gesturing to the crowd) Can we eat more ***** America? "Yes we can!" Can we enjoy more variety with our *****, America? "YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!" Then today, together, we can do the work it takes to usher in a new era of ***** on this Earth. Thank you very much, everybody. Let's get to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 EXTREMESKINS, Int. (AP) -- In a rare move Sunday, the honorary_hog campaign donated a 'bump' to the Tastes Like Chicken campaign. "We noticed that TLC's thread had gone a full half-hour without a single comment," hog said. "Quite honestly, I felt bad for the guy. I think even the least popular of candidates should have a chance to compete and share their views." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickalino Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 A Vote for TLC Is A Vote For CHANGE "Change", as in, that's all that's left in my wallet, after your tax increase ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 "Change", as in, that's all that's left in my wallet, after your tax increase ? That will only affect the top 1% of American pornstars, like Ron Jeremy (the real one, not the ES member). As for the h_h press release, the official response from TLC Headquarters is: TLC was at a private function, and unavailable for comment on this slow political Sunday. He was attending a birthday event for his nephew. Rumors swirled that opponent SkinsOrlando was also spotted at Chuck E. Cheese, a favorite meet market of his. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Four posts....now five. Two by the candidate. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HogNose Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Mr. Chicken, Will Jessica Alba Warren have a place in your Administration? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 Mr. Chicken,Will Jessica Alba Warren have a place in your Administration? Absolutely, under the desk of each and every cabinet member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Are you officially running for Dems TLC? If so, post it in the official thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bschurm Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Absolutely, under the desk of each and every cabinet member. A pimp for Pres. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 29, 2008 Author Share Posted June 29, 2008 A pimp for Pres. :laugh: Been done before :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Are you officially running for Dems TLC? If so, post it in the official thread This one? http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=248610&highlight=fail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skinfan2k Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 no this one http://www.extremeskins.com/forums/showthread.php?t=250346 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted June 29, 2008 Share Posted June 29, 2008 Gotcha, didn't even see that thread. This would have gone a lot better if we never started talking about girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Update: NO ONE will be eating crack-on-a-stick this fall unless I get their endorsement. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArmchairRedskin Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Change? We fear change Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HogNose Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Update: NO ONE will be eating crack-on-a-stick this fall unless I get their endorsement.Thank you. Guess I'm getting my crack-on-a-stick :hungry: This will be my first ES tailgate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Guess I'm getting my crack-on-a-stick :hungry: This will be my first ES tailgate. Welcome to TLC for America! Mrs. TLC: "For the first time in my adult life, I'm really proud to befriend a Hog." :paranoid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bschurm Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Welcome to TLC for America! Mrs. TLC: "For the first time in my adult life, I'm really proud to befriend a Hog." :paranoid: Looks as though you are making a John McCain like come back. The Crack-on-a-stick platform just doesn't seem like it will be enough. Talk about the real issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Looks as though you are making a John McCain like come back. The Crack-on-a-stick platform just doesn't seem like it will be enough. Talk about the real issues. You mean, i'm really, really, really, really old? j/k What issue would be important other than vajayjay and crack-on-a-stick? Let's discuss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bschurm Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 You mean, i'm really, really, really, really old? j/k What issue would be important other than vajayjay and crack-on-a-stick? Let's discuss. Without those two issues, I don't know what else is important. I have been having fun with this today, but I just looked in another thread where people were taking this serious. I thought it would be a good way to relieve the political tension and have a lot of us joking around, so I don't know. Real issues? Stay out of my pockets, $$$. Stop killing unborn children. Strong Defense. Drill! Drill! Drill! See, now we're not having as much fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HogNose Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Hey TLC..what exactly is "crack-on-a-stick"? :paranoid: I'll eat anything..I'm basically like the Bizarre Foods guy from TLC. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Without those two issues, I don't know what else is important. I have been having fun with this today, but I just looked in another thread where people were taking this serious. I thought it would be a good way to relieve the political tension and have a lot of us joking around, so I don't know. Real issues? Stay out of my pockets, $$$. Stop killing unborn children. Strong Defense. Drill! Drill! Drill! See, now we're not having as much fun. -bye bye tax breaks for families making >$300k/annum; tax break for families making less than $300k/annum -men would have an opportunity to take responsibility for the child; states can decide on partial birth abortion; allow funding for stem cell research -scale back troops in Iraq, but hey they're still building bases so I guess we'll be there for a while -drill like hell, **** the endangered wildebeast but pump heavy $ into alternative energy research so we'll have a choice in the future Man, this is like work. -Institute 4-day work week -All Americans should get a bonus week of vacation in the summer Okay that's more fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 "Killing unborn" is that an oxymoron...like Jumbo Shrimp ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Hey TLC..what exactly is "crack-on-a-stick"? I'll eat anything..I'm basically like the Bizarre Foods guy from TLC. :laugh: I love that show! Crack-on-a-stick, is tender rib-eye steak, sliced, skewered on a wooden stick, marinated in a secret recipe of Asian Teriyaki BBQ with garlic/mushroom/ginger infused soy sauce and other secret ingredients, for 24 hours, then cooked over hot coals in a converted toolbox grill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kosher Ham Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I got crack on a stick too, recipe...not needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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