We're All Gonna Fly . . . . Yyyyeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh!

[redskins2redskins]

Thanks, jrockster, for getting into the spirit. I'll try to participate a little more when I get my panties out of a bunch.

bikinis,briefs,high-cut,thong or french cut? LOL:laugh: I'm just messing with ya.....you know that.

[Om]

I didn't want this to be a joke writing workshop. I intended this to be silly and inconsequential, and most of all, fun. Apparently, I'm at the wrong place.

And you're right, it wasn't original. Just like about 99% of the **** on the board on a daily basis.

First, if what you are looking for is a place where threads don't routinely go off on unintended tangents, THEN you're in the wrong place. But you know that already.

Second, like I said ... perhaps a little thin-skinned this morning?

It's Friday brother. Go with the flow.

[Dan T.]

Om, lay off brother. Geez. You too, headexplode. Don't make me stop this car.

[headexplode]

First, if what you are looking for is a place where threads don't routinely go off on unintended tangents, THEN you're in the wrong place. But you know that already.

Second, like I said ... perhaps a little thin-skinned this morning?

It's Friday brother. Go with the flow.

I like unexpected tangents. I don't like unexpected tangents that call me basically a thief and a liar.

But, perhaps, you're right. Maybe I'm making much ado about nothing.

I am hereby done complaining about this thread. Post away, folks, and please forgive my whining.

[Dan T.]

Back to the original topic, of making the world a better place.

I've been a little rough on Mrs. Dan T. lately, so this evening I'm going make things better. I'm going to surprise her and grill her a nice meal. It's raining like hell, so I'll have to bring the Weber inside. I figure I'll use the downstairs bathroom so she won't know what I'm up to. I don't want to ruin the surprise so I'll seal the door so she can't smell the ribs smoking. I'll start early so I can smoke the ribs a long time for that nice hickory flavor. I'll put on her favorite Boston CD to set the mood right. I have more than a feeling that she is going to be so surprised. . .

[headexplode]

Back to the original topic, of making the world a better place.

I've been a little rough on Mrs. Dan T. lately, so this evening I'm going make things better. I'm going to surprise her and grill her a nice meal. It's raining like hell, so I'll have to bring the Weber inside. I figure I'll use the downstairs bathroom so she won't know what I'm up to. I don't want to ruin the surprise so I'll seal the door so she can't smell the ribs smoking. I'll start early so I can smoke the ribs a long time for that nice hickory flavor. I'll put on her favorite Boston CD to set the mood right. I have more than a feeling that she is going to be so surprised. . .

This may come off as weird, but I love you, Dan.

[Dan T.]

This may come off as weird, but I love you, Dan.

You're such a tease. Just how many Bud Lights have you had this morning? :laugh:

[Sisyphus]

OK ... an Irish joke for St Patrick's Day.

A small boy is standing at the top of a tall cliff crying his eyes out. A priest out for a walk sees him and asks him why he is so upset.

The boy replies "My parents were sitting in their car, parked just over there, and it rolled over the cliff, smashed on the rocks, and disappeared into the ocean."

The priest, lifting up his cassock, replies "It's just not your luck day, is it?"

[dreamingwolf]

I was on the carlos mencia fan forum yesterday, and he started a thread very similar to this one. It was so funny, this thread has lots of potential!

[jrockster21]

I didn't want this to be a joke writing workshop. I intended this to be silly and inconsequential, and most of all, fun. Apparently, I'm at the wrong place.

And you're right, it wasn't original. Just like about 99% of the **** on the board on a daily basis.

I don't know...I thought this was a pretty original thread! :laugh:

And don't worry about Om, he's just a big bully with an extremely well-stocked vocabulary.

[The Brave Little Toaster Oven]

As my own little way of saving the environment, I like to pickup stray cats and put them in a bag of rocks, and then throw them off the nearest cliff into the water.....one cat at a time, I'm ridding the world of evil.

If you would like to help out, the organization is called SCARE (Stray Cats Are Really Evil) give me a call at 301-HATECAT and we'll give you your area to patrol.

Thanks!

[dreamingwolf]

I called the number but it was disconnected or something :mad:

[The Brave Little Toaster Oven]

I called the number but it was disconnected or something :mad:

Ohh, sorry about that....I was....errr....on the phone :laugh: The company has seen MANY phone calls in the past 20 minutes, so my advertising must have worked.

We all share a common goal....TO RID THE WORLD OF ALL THE EVIL STRAY CATS! Together we can make this dream a reality! Thanks!

Founder of SCARE,

Skinsfan89

[headexplode]

As my own little way of saving the environment, I like to pickup stray cats and put them in a bag of rocks, and then throw them off the nearest cliff into the water.....one cat at a time, I'm ridding the world of evil.

If you would like to help out, the organization is called SCARE (Stray Cats Are Really Evil) give me a call at 301-HATECAT and we'll give you your area to patrol.

Thanks!

You could sell them to the chop suey factory.

[Sisyphus]

As my own little way of saving the environment, I like to pickup stray cats and put them in a bag of rocks, and then throw them off the nearest cliff into the water.....one cat at a time, I'm ridding the world of evil.

If you would like to help out, the organization is called SCARE (Stray Cats Are Really Evil) give me a call at 301-HATECAT and we'll give you your area to patrol.

Thanks!

Agreed, this treatment is long overdue for Brian Setzer.

[headexplode]

Another thing. There are so many drug-users using infected needles and getting sick. What if there was a program where they could get free needles that are filled with some sort of industrial cleaning solvent that would clean as they used them? And it gets you high as ****. I'm calling my congressman.

[Reic]

Today I'm going to start working on a new project I've been thinking about lately. It's called Feed the Children . . . . To the Homeless. The idea is simple: in this country today there are millions of unwanted children, and millions of starving homeless people. I think I've found an answer. I'm not sure about the logistics, but I figure one unwanted child could feed a homeless person for a month, so long as he or she is not greedy. Chop 'em up, drop them in some boullion for flavor and serve with a smile.

So that's it, folks. Now show the ES'ers how you're going to fly today.

Are you a reincarnation of Johnathan Swift? I swear he wrote something along the lines of this in 1729 titled "A Modest Proposal"

[Om]

And don't worry about Om, he's just a big bully with an extremely well-stocked vocabulary.

Go ingurgitate an oospore.

[headexplode]

Are you a reincarnation of Johnathan Swift? I swear he wrote something along the lines of this in 1729 titled "A Modest Proposal"

You know, I don't think I've heard of him.

[jrockster21]

Go ingurgitate an oospore.

Hold on, I have to go to dictionary.com...

EDIT: :rotflmao:

[headexplode]

You know, I was thinking the other day, and I thought to myself: "Oh! my god, when is the last time I've hugged myself or told myself I was beautiful?" So I've made a point to start doing that more often. Even when, like today, life can get pretty hard and it can seem like the whole internet is against you, it's important to hold your head high and say: "I CAN FLY!!"

I can weather this storm because I am strong and no one, no one can take that away from me.

So fellow ES'ers, take a moment to hug yourself right now. Now a little lower.

[Jumbo]

As my own little way of saving the environment, I like to pickup stray cats and put them in a bag of rocks, and then throw them off the nearest cliff into the water.....one cat at a time, I'm ridding the world of evil.

If you would like to help out, the organization is called SCARE (Stray Cats Are Really Evil) give me a call at 301-HATECAT and we'll give you your area to patrol.

Thanks!

[rincewind]

You know, I was thinking the other day, and I thought to myself: "Oh! my god, when is the last time I've hugged myself or told myself I was beautiful?" So I've made a point to start doing that more often. Even when, like today, life can get pretty hard and it can seem like the whole internet is against you, it's important to hold your head high and say: "I CAN FLY!!"

I can weather this storm because I am strong and no one, no one can take that away from me.

So fellow ES'ers, take a moment to hug yourself right now. Now a little lower.

I think you stole this from R. Kelly.

[The Brave Little Toaster Oven]

Where is that cat's address? I'm giving him the "cat-stick" treatment where you beat the cat with a stick, then stick the stick up its anus, then freeze it. You know have a frozen Catsicle, great for kids and as a party favor! :laugh:

[headexplode]

I remember from years ago (when the internet was still young and innocence) a sight called Bonsai Kitten, which was a joke about the "art" of growing kittens in mason jars. Well, the FBI got involved, and PETA and there were all these email petitions to stop the site. That's why I thought NAMBLA was a joke when I first heard about it. But nope. That ****'s real.