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Sports Guy is on point this week

GrimReefa

By GrimReefa
in 2006 Archives Forum

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GrimReefa

GrimReefa

Posted
Posted

I'll just put up the stuff he wrote about the Skins, and his hilarious take on Norv Turner, but the whole column is great material.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/051230

RAIDERS (+9) over Giants

It's a sad day, folks. We're about to say goodbye to the only NFL head coach once bullied off a blackjack table by my buddy Hopper … it's the final edition of the Norv Turner Second-Half Collapse Checklist. Here's the updated list through Week 17:

-- Guys arguing on the sidelines? (CHECK)

-- Embarrassing losses at home? (CHECK)

-- QB getting sacked and throwing the ball up for grabs? (CHECK)

-- Random, inexplicable QB change that served no purpose other than to confuse everyone for a week? (CHECK)

-- Superstar offensive player somehow being wasted or underused? (CHECK)

-- Just an ungodly amount of penalties? (CHECK)

-- Steady stream of excuses? (CHECK)

-- Players taking veiled shots at the coaching staff? (CHECK)

-- General malaise and dissatisfaction within the fan base? (CHECK)

-- Local columnists taking shots at him? (CHECK)

-- Big coaching name (Mariucci, Martz) looming in the background as a replacement? (CHECK)

-- Misguided, almost pathetic sense from Norv that he might come back next season? (CHECK)

...

Redskins (-7.5) over EAGLES

Even the mere whiff of Patrick Ramsey has me thinking about taking the points. By the way, why aren't teams just triple-teaming Santana Moss? Not only can I not name the other Redskins receivers, when I was complaining to my buddy House (a Skins fan) about it, he couldn't name their second WR either. Their own fans don't know who their other receivers are!!!! And nobody's triple-teaming this guy?

(Right now, the Redskins fans are like, "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Dude, shut the hell up! We made it to January without anyone realizing this! You're gonna blow it, you jerk!")

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SkinsGuy

SkinsGuy

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The second Wr's name is James Thrash.......

Isn't it? ;)

Funny stuff about Norv, too.

The one about the penalties, though, can't really be placed a Turner's feet. The Raders ALWAYS have tons of penalties, no matter who's coaching.

How the HECK did we lose to those guys???? :doh:

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Supreme Wu

Supreme Wu

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He actually sounds like an idiot who somehow managed to miss the second Dallas game which was on national television.

His buddy is a Skins fan who doesn't know Cooley/Thrash/Pattens names as secondary threats that relieve coverage pressure from Moss? Or that teams shifting coverage to Moss is the biggest reason for the strong re-emergence of the running game? Triple-team Moss guys, what can go wrong!? Durr

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jrockster21

jrockster21

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Bill Simmons is a moron. His articles are all garbage. He's a non-funny comedian. Plus, his love-affair with the Red Sox is pretty ridiculous as well. :rolleyes: Okay -- we get it -- you're a Red Sox fan.

Any true Skins fan can name 90-95 of the 53 man roster, and definitely can name all the receivers on the team. That was an attempted pot-shot at the Skins, (which ol' Bill likes to take regularly), and not a very good one at that. So to the "Sports Guy" (a totally unearned, non-warranted moniker that he should not use) I give the number one salute. I hope Damon to the Yankees made you cry, you bum.

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SkinsTillIDie

SkinsTillIDie

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I thought that this was really funny

STEELERS (-13) over Lions

If you're Matt Millen, you have two choices at this point:

(A) Resign. After all, what's enjoyable about running a team when the entire fan base hates you to the point that they're wearing opposing jerseys to home games (which was a disgrace, by the way), and parents are taking pictures of their newborn babies and planting "FIRE MILLEN" signs in their cribs?

(B) Keep your job and take another wide receiver with Detroit's top-five pick in April, just to spite everyone.

(Personally, I think the second option is fantastic and would be the greatest moment in NFL draft history, hands down. Can you imagine? Would Tagliabue even read Detroit's card if there were a receiver on it, or would he just ad-lib a defensive player's name in that spot to avoid a potential riot in downtown Detroit? In fact, I'm now rooting for Millen to stay.)

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iheartskins

iheartskins

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Posted
Bill Simmons is a moron. His articles are all garbage. He's a non-funny comedian. Plus, his love-affair with the Red Sox is pretty ridiculous as well. :rolleyes: Okay -- we get it -- you're a Red Sox fan.

Any true Skins fan can name 90-95 of the 53 man roster, and definitely can name all the receivers on the team. That was an attempted pot-shot at the Skins, (which ol' Bill likes to take regularly), and not a very good one at that. So to the "Sports Guy" (a totally unearned, non-warranted moniker that he should not use) I give the number one salute. I hope Damon to the Yankees made you cry, you bum.

I completely disagree with you jrock. Bill Simmons is not an idiot at all. You may not like him or the fact that he is a Red Sox fan, but that certainly doesn't make him stupid. I don't know how long or how consistently you read his columns, but he's never made a secret of the fact that he is a die hard Sox, Celts, Pats fan. He was a Bruins fan before the owners got too cheap. ESPN hired him knowing that he would be writing a lot of Boston-centric columns...so that his writing is often dedicated to the Sox is intentional and a feature. He's never held that fact under wraps or tried to hide it.

He's also done some great and really interesting inteviews/conversations with celebrity sports fans that otherwise the fans would never have access to. They are usually a great read.

I can understand if you don't like his humor, it may not be for all, but there have been literally hundreds of times where I have laughed out loud while reading his columns.

That "House," his 'Skins fan buddy, doesn't know who our #2 WR isn't surprising given that many on this Board couldn't give you a definitive answer. And think about how often the #2 WR has been changed this year--and/or how often Cooley or someone else rises to take on the virtual #2 receiving slot.

I will concede that he hasn't been kind to the 'Skins of late, but what reason have we given members of the non-Skin oriented media not to give us pot shots? And I wouldn't take the pot shots personally--look how he's drubbing Norv Turner...Have you ever even read his Peyton Manning columns? The guy isn't interested in taking pot-shots at the 'Skins as much as he uses disparaging humor to describe all the teams and their players that deserve it.

And, if you'd read his column on the Damon trade, he didn't shed a single tear. Finally, if the Sports Guy isn't for you, that's your call, but I can almost guarantee that he knows more about sports as a whole than nearly anyone you or I know and/or many members of the media.

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playoffsplz

playoffsplz

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Posted
I completely disagree with you jrock. Bill Simmons is not an idiot at all. You may not like him or the fact that he is a Red Sox fan, but that certainly doesn't make him stupid. I don't know how long or how consistently you read his columns, but he's never made a secret of the fact that he is a die hard Sox, Celts, Pats fan. He was a Bruins fan before the owners got too cheap. ESPN hired him knowing that he would be writing a lot of Boston-centric columns...so that his writing is often dedicated to the Sox is intentional and a feature. He's never held that fact under wraps or tried to hide it.

He's also done some great and really interesting inteviews/conversations with celebrity sports fans that otherwise the fans would never have access to. They are usually a great read.

I can understand if you don't like his humor, it may not be for all, but there have been literally hundreds of times where I have laughed out loud while reading his columns.

That "House," his 'Skins fan buddy, doesn't know who our #2 WR isn't surprising given that many on this Board couldn't give you a definitive answer. And think about how often the #2 WR has been changed this year--and/or how often Cooley or someone else rises to take on the virtual #2 receiving slot.

I will concede that he hasn't been kind to the 'Skins of late, but what reason have we given members of the non-Skin oriented media not to give us pot shots? And I wouldn't take the pot shots personally--look how he's drubbing Norv Turner...Have you ever even read his Peyton Manning columns? The guy isn't interested in taking pot-shots at the 'Skins as much as he uses disparaging humor to describe all the teams and their players that deserve it.

And, if you'd read his column on the Damon trade, he didn't shed a single tear. Finally, if the Sports Guy isn't for you, that's your call, but I can almost guarantee that he knows more about sports as a whole than nearly anyone you or I know and/or many members of the media.

:applause: :applause:

but i wouldnt disagree with jrock.....because then you would be wrong and probably stupid

:silly:;)

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Commander Adama

Commander Adama

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Posted
I completely disagree with you jrock. Bill Simmons is not an idiot at all. You may not like him or the fact that he is a Red Sox fan, but that certainly doesn't make him stupid. I don't know how long or how consistently you read his columns, but he's never made a secret of the fact that he is a die hard Sox, Celts, Pats fan. He was a Bruins fan before the owners got too cheap. ESPN hired him knowing that he would be writing a lot of Boston-centric columns...so that his writing is often dedicated to the Sox is intentional and a feature. He's never held that fact under wraps or tried to hide it.

I would actually say that being a Red Sox fan makes him smarter. Boston is steeped in tradition and fantastic teams. Teams like the Celtics, Bruins, and the Red Sox. Oh they were originally home to my favorite team of all time....the Washington Redskins. Originally they were the Boston Braves, named after the baseball team with the same name which eventually became the Atlanta Braves. The Boston Braves football team changed their name to the Boston Redskins, then after moving to Washington, D.C. became our beloved Washington Redskins. That is just one small reason I became a Washington Redskins fan when I was a kid living in Boston.

Let's go Redskins!

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GrimReefa

GrimReefa

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90-95 percent of the 53 man roster, huh? That's what...48-50 players?

I'm not so sure I could do that.

Also, I'm not so sure that Simmons' buddy really couldn't name the other WRs on the roster, but more likely he didn't know which of them could be considered the "number 2". Since I don't know this, either, (Jacobs? Thrash?) I'm not ready to accuse House, or any other Skins fan, of not being "a true fan".

Brunell, Ramsey, Campbell, Portis, Cartwright, Betts, Sellers, Moss, Thrash, Jacobs, Brown, Farris, Patten, Cooley, Royal, Rabach, Thomas, Dockery, Brown, Samuels, Jansen, Griffin, Salave'a, Daniels, Noble, Wynn, Arrington, Washington, Holdman, Marshall, Clemons, Taylor, Bowen, Rogers, Springs, Jimoh, Prioleau, Harris, Clark, Hall, Frost.

Well, that's only 41 (77%). Guess I'm not a true fan.

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The Guru

The Guru

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Posted
I can almost guarantee that he knows more about sports as a whole than nearly anyone you or I know and/or many members of the media.

I agree with the majority of your post, but I think you are overestimating him a little. I mean the guy has a LOSING record picking NFL games this year. He's funny and relatively knowledgeable, but he's no genius.

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Tarpon75

Tarpon75

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Posted
I completely disagree with you jrock. Bill Simmons is not an idiot at all. You may not like him or the fact that he is a Red Sox fan, but that certainly doesn't make him stupid. I don't know how long or how consistently you read his columns, but he's never made a secret of the fact that he is a die hard Sox, Celts, Pats fan. He was a Bruins fan before the owners got too cheap. ESPN hired him knowing that he would be writing a lot of Boston-centric columns...so that his writing is often dedicated to the Sox is intentional and a feature. He's never held that fact under wraps or tried to hide it.

He's also done some great and really interesting inteviews/conversations with celebrity sports fans that otherwise the fans would never have access to. They are usually a great read.

I can understand if you don't like his humor, it may not be for all, but there have been literally hundreds of times where I have laughed out loud while reading his columns.

That "House," his 'Skins fan buddy, doesn't know who our #2 WR isn't surprising given that many on this Board couldn't give you a definitive answer. And think about how often the #2 WR has been changed this year--and/or how often Cooley or someone else rises to take on the virtual #2 receiving slot.

I will concede that he hasn't been kind to the 'Skins of late, but what reason have we given members of the non-Skin oriented media not to give us pot shots? And I wouldn't take the pot shots personally--look how he's drubbing Norv Turner...Have you ever even read his Peyton Manning columns? The guy isn't interested in taking pot-shots at the 'Skins as much as he uses disparaging humor to describe all the teams and their players that deserve it.

And, if you'd read his column on the Damon trade, he didn't shed a single tear. Finally, if the Sports Guy isn't for you, that's your call, but I can almost guarantee that he knows more about sports as a whole than nearly anyone you or I know and/or many members of the media.

I don'tknow,I for one am kind of tired of the whole media thing with everyone constantly being critical.Who is he to take these pot shots,what are his credentials,was he an athlete?I am not saying that the use of humor is a negative but I don't see the point of constantly using it to denegrate people.Put yourself in Norv Turner's shoes for example,it can't be a lot of fun to endure what he is going through.Don't get me wrong I am not a Norv fan.I am just using him for an example.If it was isolated it might not be so bad but the dispariging humor is done way too much throughout the media, not just the Sports Guy.

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Bounce

Bounce

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Posted

Good Lord. Lighten up, everyone. I believe Simmons was making what people in some circles call "a joke." Apparently, it's supposed to make light of a certain situation. Sounds crazy, I know, but I've heard a lot of people get a kick out of these things.

:rolleyes:

Seriously, I think we actually have a two-game streak in which Moss has been the only WR to catch a pass. Can't someone make a crack about that without being called a blubbering idiot?

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PCRoughrider

PCRoughrider

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Posted
Good Lord. Lighten up, everyone. I believe Simmons was making what people in some circles call "a joke." Apparently, it's supposed to make light of a certain situation. Sounds crazy, I know, but I've heard a lot of people get a kick out of these things.

:rolleyes:

Seriously, I think we actually have a two-game streak in which Moss has been the only WR to catch a pass. Can't someone make a crack about that without being called a blubbering idiot?

Except that Simmons has been one of the mediots who's taken shots at us all season.

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Tarpon75

Tarpon75

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Posted
Good Lord. Lighten up, everyone. I believe Simmons was making what people in some circles call "a joke." Apparently, it's supposed to make light of a certain situation. Sounds crazy, I know, but I've heard a lot of people get a kick out of these things.

:rolleyes:

Seriously, I think we actually have a two-game streak in which Moss has been the only WR to catch a pass. Can't someone make a crack about that without being called a blubbering idiot?

Think your missing my point.I don't think that people should make a living piling on,so to speak.There again I am talking in general ,you see it on ESPN,Fox, and by so many other media outlets.Just a little tired of it.

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bulldog

bulldog

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Posted

well, real fans do know who the other wide receivers on the roster are, even if they have not been especially productive lately :)

I do distinctly remember the 2000 Ravens winning the Super Bowl with Qadry Ismail at WR, Shannon Sharpe at TE and Jamal Lewis at RB.

They didn't have a legitimate #2 receiver. They didn't have a legitimate change of pace back. They had a very average quarterback in Trent Dilfer.

The Redskins with Moss, Cooley and Portis have enough to be a threat in the postseason, especially if Brunell can overcome the knee to show some mobility and continue to make plays with his feet when necessary.

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