Spaceman Spiff

I don't like it when people assume things based off other peoples looks and appearance. It's extremely shallow and mean. I'm far from a supermodel and I try to treat everyone equally and be nice to everyone. But man, Freddie Kitchens looks like a dude who's nursing a hangover in a duck blind somewhere and not an NFL coach. And that last name isn't doing him any favors, either. It's like he's spent a lot of time in kitchens everywhere he's been, how can you take that guy seriously if your name is Baker Mayfield, a name that reeks of prep school majesty? It was doomed from the start.

Laura Dern with purple hair, what the ****?

Kylo Ren doing barrel roll and out of control like Maverick maneuvers in his fighter to show me that he's angry. I wonder if he's going to ask permission to buzz the tower, get denied, do it anyway, and make the commander spill coffee all over himself. And then cut to someone asking for his butt.

Couldn't they make Kylo Ren's mask something that doesn't look like the back of a Dodge Charger? And his voice sounds like when I drive through Wendy's and have a hard time understanding my order when they repeat it back to me. I will say Adam Driver is really good as the petulant ****y bad guy, kind of how Phoenix was in Gladiator. Similar types of performances, very easy to hate. He's easily the best actor in this whole thing. Did I really just see Luke Skywalker milk some fat sea cow sitting on some rocks? What the **** is going on?

Was half expecting Rick Moranis to show up in the big Vader helmet.

That whole thing where they were Oscar Isaac was like "Can you hear me?" and the bad general guy was like "I can hear you, can you hear me?" Oooof.

Didn't know Last Jedi was on Netflix. Now I get to see what you guys have been whining about.