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Jumbo's Third Annual Cowpie Poem/Haiku Festival (for bubba and tr1)


Jumbo

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THE NIGHT BEFORE DALLAS

Twas the night before Dallas, and all through the land

Was the tossing and turning of sleepless Redskin fans.

Super Bowl pennants hung on the walls with care,

In hopes that Saint Gibbs soon would be there.

I in my Theismann jersey, my wife in her Skins cap,

Had just settled down for a restless pre-game nap.

When out on the porch, there arose such a clatter,

That I sprung from my bed to see what was the matter.

A pound on the door was the next thing I heard,

When I opened it up, I saw something absurd.

What to my wandering eyes did appear?

Why, Owens and Romo sits to pee, trembling with fear!

"Mr Hog, can you help us?" Owens said, filled with fright,

"We've been running from Sean Taylor all freaking night!"

"He threatened to kill us!" Romo sits to pee said with a shout.

"And I believe him, he already knocked Julius Jones out!"

"Gentlemen, I can't help you," was all that I said.

"Holy ****!" exclaimed Romo sits to pee, "We're as good as dead!"

I slammed the door shut, and walked up the stairs,

Chuckling to myself, "I'm gonna miss that pair."

I crawled into bed as the wife asked "Who was that?"

"No one," was my answer, "Just a lost cat."

"But I do have some news that should help you sleep well,

"Romo sits to pee and Owens are on the permanent DL."

:dallasuck :logo: :point2sky :helmet: :dallasuck

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Rotted Teeth

Black, cracked, and missing many

My breath smells like poo

Not worried if I offend

I wear Silver and Blue

Thirty-One

Roy Roy Roy

Horse Horse Horse

Collar Collar Collar

Dirty Dirty Dirty

Terror of Taylor

Romo sits to pee Romo sits to pee

Run for your life

If I don't kill you

Marcus will suffice

I Used to Hate You

I never loved you

You stepped on our star

I never wanted you

You parked in my spot with your car

You miss meetings

You yell at my staff

Now I'm kissing you

And turning your hat for a laugh

If I Were in Your Shoes

Silver and Blue

Silver and Blue

Lord Knows

I'd Hate to Be You

:dallasuck

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(To the tune of Toby Keith's "The Angry American.")

Washington guys, and Washington girls,

Wouldn't root for the 'Boys if they were the last team in the world.

For we always stand true, no matter the cost,

And we're always proud to be Skins fans even after a loss.

Joe Theismann played down in Dallas, intercepted five times,

And the damn Pokes sang happy birthday just to stick it in his eye.

But ya know my mother, my brother, my sister and you,

Will always and forever remember 1982!

Now this team that I love, has slipped to 2 and 5,

And we've gotta have a miracle, just to keep our hopes alive.

But it's times like these, when we're at our best,

And another reason Redskin fans are better than the rest.....

*chorus*Hey, Coach Joe Gibbs put your team at the top of his list,

And all 90,000 fans started shaking their fists,

And our colors will fly, and there's gonna be hell

When you hear all us Skins fans do a rebel yell!

And it'll fell like all 'Skins Nation, is raining down on y'all!

Brought to you courtesy, of the best team in 'ball!

Ohhh...Justice will be served and the battle will rage,

You'll be regretting your decision to come and play this game,

And you'll be sorry that you messed with the Redskins todaaaaayyyyy...

WE'LL PUT A CLEAT IN YOUR ASS, CAUSE THAT'S THE REDSKIN WAY!

*chorus*Hey, Coach Joe Gibbs put your team at the top of his list,

And all 90,000 fans started shaking their fists,

And our colors will fly, and there's gonna be hell

When you hear all us Skins fans do a rebel yell!

And it'll fell like 'Skins Nation, is raining down on y'all!

Brought to you courtesy, of the best team in 'ball!

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That's the risk one takes when one corrects others. Sometimes, by virtue of your own ignorance you end up making yourself look dumb. Trust me, I know from personal experience. :)

You aer the one that looks dumb!

And before I get corrected, CLEARLY my use of "aer" instead of "are" referrs to thread 14,523, post 91. If you dont know what im talking about clearly you are ignorant and stupid, its okay, I know from personal experience.

:cheers:

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You aer the one that looks dumb!

And before I get corrected, CLEARLY my use of "aer" instead of "are" referrs to thread 14,523, post 91. If you dont know what im talking about clearly you are ignorant and stupid, its okay, I know from personal experience.

:cheers:

¿Que? :whoknows:

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