codeorama Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Chom, good luck to you, I hope it works out for the best in the long run, I know is sucks for now, but man, we all go through this kind of stuff at one time or another, you are not alone and it all may be for the better. If you ever need to chat, pm me man, otherwise, just take care of yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Cho--we're here for you. It looks like today has been a long day, but you've made some very important strides and decisions. Now that you have made them, the hard part is ahead of you--sticking with them. The hardest part is forcing yourself to live with the decision you made because no matter how rational it seems right now there's always an internal battle with your emotions and your mind fighting to return to what you're comfortable with. I can't know what you're going through, but I have a strong feeling that it's for the best. And while it may be difficult, now you have to do what is right for you even though you may think it may not be right for your ex. We'll be here when you get back--to bash, to laugh, and to argue. Godspeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Touchdown Portis! Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Good luck with everything man, I think everthing will work out for you. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
portisizzle Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Chrome, I am proud of the way you stepped forward and dealed with the issue at hand. You are a better man then I on that account. Good luck, and I mean that with all my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsNut73 Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 Good luck chom... We're here for you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnyderShrugged Posted May 6, 2005 Share Posted May 6, 2005 I wish there were something more I could do for you beyond mere words. Please, don't let any past disagreements that we may have ever had stop you from PM'ing and unloading your thoughts on me. I'm actually a pretty good listener and I won't push you on anything. I also still am praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted May 6, 2005 Author Share Posted May 6, 2005 Guys, thanks for all the well wishes. I will be fine, I always land on my feet, and who knows, I may even thrive once I am away from a bad relationship. I will always have a positive outlook on life, something that the missus never had. I did truly want her to say something she was not prepared to say, but at least she was honest with me, I can't ask for anything more then that. As for the praying guys, thanks for the effort, but do me a favor, don't mention me by name to your guy. . . He just may take a trip to ES and see what this chomerics guy is all about. The last thing I need right now is the wrath of the almighty taking vengence on my blasphomous butt. I've been through enough today, the last thing I need is a lightning bolt in the ass wakeup call. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted May 20, 2005 Author Share Posted May 20, 2005 Well, here is an update on my situation. . . I have finally found a sweet apartment, and I am moving next weekend. I am excited to get on with my life, and I am working on making myself a better man overall. I have joined the gym downstairs from my work, and I am signed up for courses next semester for a masters at Harvard. . . In guess what, not engineering but . . . government :laugh: Yes, I am going to get my masters in Poli-Sci, and hopefully get into politics later in life. I have already voulenteered my time to work for Tom Riley, the democratic challenger to Mitt Romney in Mass. My uncle is Riley's comptroller, and he has already talked to him about gettng me in on his campaign from the beginning. My apartment is on the 35th floor of a luxury highrise in downtown Beantown. It has awsome views overlooking the Charles, and it I am completely psyched to get on with my life. Over these past couple of weeks, I have come to the rationalization that she was holding me back of my dreams, and I now can pursue exactly what I want in life. I have already met a few people online, and I have a few dates set up. I figured 6 months is WAYYYYYYY to long, I mean when the wind blows I get stiff :laugh: Anyways, here is the apartment I'm moving into. The picture I attached is the exact view out of my bedroom and living room, but I am about 12 more floors up. www.devonshire-boston.com I will be taking my bike to work every day, and it is an awesome bikeride along the Charles. I know I am doing the right thing as I am excited, not depressed. Thanks again guys or all the wellwishes, and I will keep you updated on the progress of the apartment, my life etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchogs Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 good to hear things are going well for you, chom. boston's a great city (which you'll get to see from your eye in the sky ). congrats on moving in a direction that makes YOU happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarhog Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Never saw this thread until today. Good luck Chom. Most of us have been in relationships where we loved someone beyond belief, but ultimately knew it wasn't a good thing for us anymore. Good for you for getting out. Don't look back. You'll do well, and meet someone, when you least expect it, who appreciates you and wants a meaningful physical relationship with you. You'll be amazed at how that alone changes your outlook. You deserve sainthood for that enduring that kind of a stretch - I really feel for you. Beyond the physical need thing, its emotionally devastating to be distant that way. Best of luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartskins Posted May 20, 2005 Share Posted May 20, 2005 Same sentiments here as those expressed by dchogs. Glad to hear things are progressing in such a positive manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenmdixon Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Tarhog Good luck Chom. Most of us have been in relationships where we loved someone beyond belief, but ultimately knew it wasn't a good thing for us anymore. Good for you for getting out. Don't look back. You'll do well, and meet someone, when you least expect it, who appreciates you and wants a meaningful physical relationship with you. You'll be amazed at how that alone changes your outlook. You deserve sainthood for that enduring that kind of a stretch - I really feel for you. Beyond the physical need thing, its emotionally devastating to be distant that way. Best of luck to you. chom, what Tarhog said. Glad to hear that things are progressing in a good direction for you. That view looks nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXREDSKINS44 Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Great to hear Chrom!! I guess my prayers worked;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gbear Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Glad to hear it worked out. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashback Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 nevermind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Sounds like youre doing much better, and I must say great view from the apartment. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cskin Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 Hey Chom... I too didn't read the entire e-mail... but I respect you for feeling you could honestly share it with the rest of us. Keep you're head up.... think of this change as a new beginning and something to look forward to allow this challenge to become a new set of goals. We're pulling for you... keep us updated... and PM should you feel the need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay Master Jay Posted May 23, 2005 Share Posted May 23, 2005 it's time to move on and find someone that will appreciate and love you. She doesn't want you anymore if she can only talk to you when she's drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted May 23, 2005 Author Share Posted May 23, 2005 Originally posted by Cskin Hey Chom... I too didn't read the entire e-mail... but I respect you for feeling you could honestly share it with the rest of us. Keep you're head up.... think of this change as a new beginning and something to look forward to allow this challenge to become a new set of goals. We're pulling for you... keep us updated... and PM should you feel the need. Thanks Cskin and the rest of you guys, I will keep everyone updated. . . It's strange, but I feel as if this is a great new beginning of my life. 12 years is a real long time to be with someone when you are not truly happy, but I can truly say that I gave it my best effort. I have done an enormous amount of "soul searching" over the past few weeks, and I really think I am doing the best thing. I have already been on a date, and things went fairly well. I am just excited to be on with my life, and although I wil miss her, I will not dwell on it. I have learned throughout my life that you should use the past as a place to gain experience but not to dwell on. If you constantly think about the past, then you will never grow as an individual. You need to use past experiences to learn from and then try not to make the same mistakes in the future, this is how you grow as a man. I now know what I want the future Mrs. Cho to be like, and I will not settle for the sake of setteling. I want to experience the cornucopia of pleasures life has to offer, and if there is someone special in the cards for me, then so be it. If not, then I'll still enjoy myself living life to the fullest. Again, thanks for the well wishes, but honestly, I have never felt more sure of myself in my life. I am a good looking, charming, confident, successful, 34 year old male who gets "it". Not to bad looking at my life right now. Now to work on that ego of mine. . . where's Art when you need him :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevenaa Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Cho, Just saw this thread. Good luck in your new adventure. Hope you are also dealing with your "drug problem". It would be a shame to make a fresh start and bone it up with the meds. Also, JC gets along with you whether you know it or not. Though I'll not mention your name to him, per your request. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsChick36 Posted May 24, 2005 Share Posted May 24, 2005 Well i just saw this thread too and i just wanted to say that what you did was very honorable. I wish you the best of luck in your fresh start. Keep us posted on how your doing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted May 24, 2005 Author Share Posted May 24, 2005 Originally posted by stevenaa Cho, Just saw this thread. Good luck in your new adventure. Hope you are also dealing with your "drug problem". It would be a shame to make a fresh start and bone it up with the meds. Also, JC gets along with you whether you know it or not. Though I'll not mention your name to him, per your request. Thanks Steve, I haven't taken any drugs (pills) since the letter. I kind of saw my life heading down a path I didn't like, so I had to stop it. It took me a while, but I finally figured it out. Thanks also for keeping it on the down low when you see the good ole' JC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whatchamacallit23 Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 Originally posted by SkinsChick36 Well i just saw this thread too and i just wanted to say that what you did was very honorable. I wish you the best of luck in your fresh start. Keep us posted on how your doing! I agree with SkinsChick36, what you did is very honorable. There's alot of men out there that wouldn't of done what you did. Also, great job on getting off of the drugs. I wish you the best of luck and keep us posted on your progress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdsknbill Posted May 28, 2005 Share Posted May 28, 2005 I'm glad that you are doing well Chom. Seems that you were right. "You always land on your feet." Good luck brother!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chomerics Posted May 28, 2005 Author Share Posted May 28, 2005 Hey guys, update today. . . Well, I'm all packed up and I am moving out on Tuesday. The misses is being extremely difficult as in she wants to keep absolutely everything we ever bought. According to her, she wants to give me a bedroom set which was given to us, a kitchen table we were going to throw away and a TV in the bedroom worth about $250. She gets everything else Needless to say it has not been pleasant talking to her over the past few days. I am still debating on just taking exactly what I want and leaving her with the rest, but I am trying to be mature about this situation and get her to agree amicably. I am leaving her the house with over $100K in equity, plus most of the other stuff inside it. We have a $10K entertainment center which I definitely wanted, a truck (which she can have) a bedroom set and a dining room set. This is not mentioning the $10K in lawn and garden tools, shed I built, floors I installed, Fence I put up, and the entire front yard which was re-landscaped. I don't have a problem with leaving her with stuff, but her petty attitude is driving my absolutely ape sh!t. I am really at wits end trying to decide if I should say screw her and take what I want, or try one more time to have a logical discussion about what to take. Right now, I am undecided on what to do. Now, with that being said, I am definitely excited to be on with my life. I have already met a few people on line, and I have been out on one date. I know I will land on my feet no mater where I go in life, so I am not as much concerned about myself as I am her. Confidence is definitely not an area I am lacking in . . as if I needed to tell you guys this though :laugh: Anyways, thanks again for the well wishes. It was a difficult decision to make, probably the hardest I've ever had to make in my life, but I know I did the right thing. I know my life will be better off in the future, and I also know more of what I am looking for in a wife and partner. I will actually be able to have an intelligent and deep conversation with somebody who I care deeply about, and this is something I was sorely lacking. I can also look forward to a new partner who will be intimate in an emotional and physical state as well. I will find this one day, but I will not settle until I do. Having the experience of this relationship has made me a better man, and it has also made me realize more of what I want in life. I am going to explore my T-type personality fully this summer, as I have already signed up for pilot lessons and I am also planning of going skydiving. I will see what life brings, but I am definitely sure it is heading in the right direction. I will update as things progress Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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