Onion: (satire) Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

[SnyderShrugged]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/iran-worried-us-might-be-building-8500th-nuclear-w,27325/

I couldnt help but post this, good for a chuckle.

TEHRAN—Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America's uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. "Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran," said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and "everything they need" to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material. "Obviously, the prospect of this happening is very distressing to Iran and all countries like Iran. After all, the United States is a volatile nation that's proven it needs little provocation to attack anyone anywhere in the world whom it perceives to be a threat." Iranian intelligence experts also warned of the very real, and very frightening, possibility of the U.S. providing weapons and resources to a rogue third-party state such as Israel.

[Jumbo]

Love that kind of stuff. I remember me and my buddy Andy (we were 15-16ish) getting into trouble at the local John Birch outlet :pfft: back in the day. We'd go in to score their hilarious (and you wanna talk some PURE old school racist garbage in the late 60's) pamphlets and slide show presentations (we' be "incognito"). Later we'd get a bunch of pals together and have a blast playing with all their info. That stuff was WILD.

Anyway,in the "shop", they'd be talking about the rooskies and how they still wanted to put nukes in countries closer to us after the Cooba Crisis and that we should pre-empt/obliterate their atheist commie asses. I'd act all dumb and innocent and ask about all the many nuke sites we had in other countries, as well as the ones we were involved with substantially (allies), that ringed the USSR like a necklace. I would point out a number of them were right on their borders, almost as close as Cuba was to us, and it was making them skeered liked the cowardly/aggressor rats they were. And I'd point out they knew we'd use nukes on cities cuz we done did it before and weren't just talking ****.

They'd be conflicted by part of what I was saying seeming like I was one of them, but hated struggling with their brain trying to make everything I was asking about fit inside it--well, the "smarter" ones anyway. For most of them it just went right over their "give a **** level."

[SnyderShrugged]

Love that kind of stuff. I remember me and my buddy Andy (we were 15-16ish) getting into trouble at the local John Birch outlet :pfft: back in the day. We'd go in to score their hilarious (and you wanna talk some PURE old school racist garbage in the late 60's) pamphlets and slide show presentations (we' be "incognito"). Later we'd get a bunch of pals together and have a blast playing with all their info. That stuff was WILD.

Anyway,in the "shop", they'd be talking about the rooskies and how they still wanted to put nukes in countries closer to us after the Cooba Crisis and that we should pre-empt/obliterate their atheist commie asses. I'd act all dumb and innocent and ask about all the many nuke sites we had in other countries, and even others we were involved with substantially (allies), that ringed the USSR like a necklace. I would point out a number of them were right on their borders as close, almost as close as Cuba was to us and it was making them skeered. And I'd point out they knew we'd use nukes on cities cuz we done did it before and weren't just talking ****.

They'd be conflicted by part of what I was saying seeming like I was one of them, but hated struggling with their brain trying to make everything I was asking about fit inside it--well, the "smarter" ones anyway. For most of them it just went right over their "give a **** level."

LOL, pure gold!

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

ONN: Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

It's a longshot on this board, but you gotta at least try to see if you can get someone who thinks it's a legit news item. That's where the real laughs are. This website does a great job of documenting them:

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

[SnyderShrugged]

ONN: Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

It's a longshot on this board, but you gotta at least try to see if you can get someone who thinks it's a legit news item. That's where the real laughs are. This website does a great job of documenting them:

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

Ha!! I actually did think about obscuring some, but worried over a rule violation. Great point though!

[No Excuses]

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

This website is GREAT.

Thanks for the link. I cannot believe some of the stuff on here.

[G.A.C.O.L.B.]

Ha!! I actually did think about obscuring some, but worried over a rule violation. Great point though!

I forget the exact details, but there was a fringe poster on here who posted an Onion link himself and tried to use it to bolster some argument he was making. I think we mocked him and I don't recall him ever coming back. About a year or so ago. Maybe two. Somebody probably remembers more. Good times.

This website is GREAT.

Thanks for the link. I cannot believe some of the stuff on here.

Definitely man. It's one of my daily go to websites. Just on the first page I love this one:

[S.T.real,lights,out]

After all, the United States is a volatile nation that's proven it needs little provocation to attack anyone anywhere in the world whom it perceives to be a threat."

That made me

[Larry]

They'd be conflicted by part of what I was saying seeming like I was one of them, but hated struggling with their brain trying to make everything I was asking about fit inside it--well, the "smarter" ones anyway. For most of them it just went right over their "give a **** level."

You haven't changed a bit.

[Stillers6SB]

ONN: Iran Worried U.S. Might Be Building 8,500th Nuclear Weapon

It's a longshot on this board, but you gotta at least try to see if you can get someone who thinks it's a legit news item. That's where the real laughs are. This website does a great job of documenting them:

http://literallyunbelievable.org/

Awesome link! Now I have to spend a few hours checking the old posts there.

[willygogo]

GACOLB, thanks for the link, that site is awesome! Heads up though, you might want to remove that pic due to the language on the bottom of it.

[ACW]