brettstr Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Predicto, I have kids of my own, my wife and I by many definitions came from abused homes. We therefore have changed the culture to be loving, inviting and building trust within our family core, instilling morals and values. We teach to talk and learn to forgive misguided actions of just not family but all. We are not teaching them to rationalize abuse or hate. It is what it looks like, sounds like and feels like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Predicto Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Predicto, I have kids of my own, my wife and I by many definitions came from abused homes. We therefore have changed the culture to be loving, inviting and building trust within our family core, instilling morals and values. We teach to talk and learn to forgive misguided actions of just not family but all. We are not teaching them to rationalize abuse or hate. It is what it looks like, sounds like and feels like. I am not saying that you are teaching anyone them to rationalize abuse or hate. Where did you come up with that? I am saying that you yourself are rationalizing your whippings as a child by saying you must have deserved to be whipped (or your parents wouldn't have done it, because we know they loved you). That you are "taking responsibility for your own actions." That is rationalization. You may have required discipline, but no child "deserves" to be whipped or abandons their own responsibility for their actions by thinking that whipping is not the best approach, even if your parents did it with the best of intentions. Remember, you may have been naughty, but the choice to whip you was made by your parents, not you. That is a choice you can eschew when dealing with your own children, now that you are the decisionmaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcsluggo Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 Maybe I'm a puss, but there is no way in hell I could do ANYTHING like that to my child. None.My parents spanked me in one, and only one, set of circumstances. If I lied to them, Dad was turning my backside a nice shade of red. I adopted the same philosophy with my kids, and have preached to them from day one, that as long as they don't lie to me, I will back them as far as I possibly can. There was one time I thought I was going to have to spank my then-6 year old. She had gotten a negative note from her teacher, to bring home to her Mom and I to sign and send back. Well, the teacher called and said she never got it. Having tried that trick, I thought I knew for sure what was going on. And for the first time in my life, I yelled at her pretty good. (I'm very fortunate in that I almost never have to even raise my voice to my kids.) So as I'm yelling at her, her story about what happened to the note kept changing. It went from "I put it on her desk," to "I threw it in the trash can," to everything in between. I told my ex to come downstairs. We sat on the couch and talked over whether or not she was going to get her first spanking. I went back and forth, remembering the decision we had agreed to long ago. Lying = spanking. Ultimately though, I decided not to do it. We decided to take all of her electronics away for two weeks; DS, Wii, even the TV. (That's a big deal to kids these days, and at 6, two weeks is a long ass time.) Well. The next day, I got a call from her teacher. "Mr. Hog, Little Hog did give me the note. It got buried on my desk, and I forgot about it." I was so damned glad that I hadn't spanked her that I STILL can't put it into words. I felt like enough of a jackass, having yelled at her the way I did, and calling MY CHILD, who was TELLING ME THE TRUTH, a liar. The day after that, I picked up lunch at Burger King, and took it to her school. We had lunch together, which she loved. Then I marched her down to her classroom where I apologized again to her, and to her teacher, for not believing her. Her teacher apologized as well, for misplacing the note. I think doing that taught her more about how to handle things than any spanking EVER could have. great story Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 i'm not sure how anyone thinks that the 'dad' in that video has his daughters interests in mind while he screams and whips her. he was absolutely out of control. that charade was clearly all about him expressing his unfiltered rage rather than an attempt to teach his kid. it was a completely self indulgent, selfish act. I agree.....he seems dysfunctional and irrational,and I am not a fan of histrionics. reminds me of my stepfather Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brettstr Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 I am not saying that you are teaching anyone them to rationalize abuse or hate. Where did you come up with that?I am saying that you yourself are rationalizing your whippings as a child by saying you must have deserved to be whipped (or your parents wouldn't have done it, because we know they loved you). That you are "taking responsibility for your own actions." That is rationalization. You may have required discipline, but no child "deserves" to be whipped or abandons their own responsibility for their actions by thinking that whipping is not the best approach, even if your parents did it with the best of intentions. Remember, you may have been naughty, but the choice to whip you was made by your parents, not you. That is a choice you can eschew when dealing with your own children, now that you are the decisionmaker. Its hard to argue with your rationalization. You sound as though you have the compassion, understanding, discipline and patience. You are correct, often times kids may feel they deserved the harsh whippings but there is a limit and when that threshold is crossed there need to be accountability of the parents. I was not saying you felt I was teaching rationalizing abuse or hate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baculus Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 No matter one's opinion on the use of physical punishment on children, this judge/father came across as a complete lunatic. And, unsurprising, he also apparently abused his wife, which is why she probably said for her daughter to take it "like a woman." He deserves to lose his position as a judge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 He deserves to lose his position as a judge. Bump for news the Texas Supreme court suspended him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeaconTheVillain Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Bump for news the Texas Supreme court suspended him. Good. And if this guy hated the internet before, wonder what he thinks of it now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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