Question for teachers, parents, or people around middle school about a bad teacher

[Destino]

GSF - Thanks for clarifying. Here is the way I see it and the way I see it. I don't share the view of many in this thread that an internal email between colleagues is unprofessional. There is a large difference between what is meant to be an internal communication and something intended for those outside the organization, whatever that organization may be. Teachers, in my opinion, should communicate this information to each other. In doing so they might find that the students in questions are cheating in more than one class or stumble upon a method of cheating that is being used by several students.

The problem as I see it is that other teachers decided to mention this internal communication in class. Even if your daughter had been caught red handed I would question the wisdom of mentioning it in another class in the manner you describe. Schools are small towns and if a kid gets in trouble for anything word gets around quickly. That decision is unprofessional and frankly if they felt strongly enough about it to bring it up amongst your daughters peers they should have felt comfortable speaking with you on the issue first.

I would attempt to schedule a meeting with the school administrator that handles these sorts of complaints, the teacher that supposedly caught your child doing something wrong, and the teacher that mentioned it in class. Meet with the admin first and then with all three if possible and share your feelings on the issue. Don't go in there looking to read the riot act, encourage them to speak and make sure to pay close attention to their responses. You know this isn't a career ending mistake on their part so your goal is to go in and see how you feel about these people. If that problem teacher sets off alarm bells in your head, trust your gut and see about getting your girl transferred out of his class. If they seem reasonable, make a note to keep tabs on the situation.

You are your child's advocate in the world of adults. Do not fall for the "we are working together" nonsense unless you know the other adults well enough to gauge their intentions. Some teachers do want what is best for your child others, like you find in most any professional work place, are miserable *******s that like to create problems. The fact that this already has you concerned is all the reason you need to look into it.

I hope this helps even if only by adding a different view point to help formulate your own course of action.

[MassSkinsFan]

The problem as I see it is that other teachers decided to mention this internal communication in class. Even if your daughter had been caught red handed I would question the wisdom of mentioning it in another class in the manner you describe. Schools are small towns and if a kid gets in trouble for anything word gets around quickly. That decision is unprofessional and frankly if they felt strongly enough about it to bring it up amongst your daughters peers they should have felt comfortable speaking with you on the issue first.

This is a really good point, and it led me onto another interesting thought about this. What if the "bad" teacher wasn't entirely sure about whether there was cheating, and sent an e-mail to his colleagues confidentially, only to have that confidence violated by those same colleagues? What if he was trying to do the right thing and they blabbed about it before there was a chance for him to come to a conclusion and act?

I know this doesn't seem likely, but it's a possibility. This is why you need to speak to the "bad" teacher first.

If you have any performance management training, use it in that meeting. Focus on the problem, not the people. Keep it neutral and factual. If the teacher gets defensive and assumes the role of parent (condescending know-it-all, "I can't believe you don't understand this", etc.) or child (lashing out, sulking, etc.) do what you can to re-focus the discussion on the facts.

I'm not a teacher or school admin, but both my parents taught, and my Dad was a principal and then a superintendent. I can tell you what his advice would be, and that is to start with a conversation with the teacher, and to frame it in this way: we both are trying to do what's best for your daughter; based on what happened, how can we now move forward in a way that not only corrects any issues but teaches a life lesson?

Good luck.

[GSF]

Thanks for all replies. They have been very helpful. I have emailed the teacher requesting a conference after school today. If that doesn't get me anywhere I will go to the Principal and maybe even the school board if neccessary. I'm not going to let this go. Thanks again.

---------- Post added September-6th-2011 at 03:21 PM ----------

I feel like i'm still hearing 60% of the problem.

Question:

So three students were 'allegedly" cheating, but your childs name was the only one mentioned... the child doing the actual cheating was not?

Teachers were bringing this up all day at school with an anonymous source yelling your childs name? (needs more work, sounds like an AP article).

You have a copy of the email that says what you think it says, or could it be to other teachers asking them what to do? As you are here, before you talk to this teacher? Is it an email that states he believes these 3 gifted students were cheating, how do i deal with this? or did it say, These three gifted? children were cheating!

your biased, just acknowlege that and talk to the teacher.. so many ways to communicate and we just don't.

One of her other teachers read the email in class stating that he had caught the 3 gifted students cheating in his class and teachers should be on the look out for them. The email did not mention the girl who was copying which i found especially strange. the teacher did not read their names, but 1 of the students blurted out who it was. It progressed from there.

[KDawg]

Well, sounds like the teacher who read the email in class was a bit more unprofessional than anyone else. Teacher emails, in regards to specific students, should never be shared with the students.

[GSF]

Well the teacher called me this afternoon. It's a long story, but he apologized to me and later my daughter and said he just wants to move on. He contradicted himself quite a bit in our conversation, saying things like,: I don't think your daughter is a cheater, but I felt like something this serious I needed to inform the other teachers. When I asked why he didn't think it was important enough to inform us parents he said because it was a first offense. He also said that they were not disciplined in any way and there is nothing on their records about the incident. He also said he would follow up with the other teachers to let them know the girls hadn't cheated.

The whole thing was very strange. It was very obvious to me that the teacher knows he blew it in a big way. I'm going to give it a few days before I do anything else. If he follows through with the other teachers I will probably just let it go. As wrong as I think he was, I don't believe going after this guy is going to solve anything. Hopefully we will all learn from the situation and move on.

thanks again for your replies. They were very helpful.

[No_Pressure]

It could be an unprofessional teacher, it could be that your child actually was cheating. You never really know for sure. Every parent wants to believe that their kid isn't a cheater, but honestly. I went to a school which was ranked in the top 20 public schools in America while I was attending, and a lot of the students were under a good deal of pressure to keep up and get outstanding grades. I remember going to my lunch table and watching a bunch of 4.0 GPA honors/AP class friends of mine passing around homework assignments from their various classes and generally copying the answers from each other to turn in later that day. On another occasion an acquaintance of mine from the football team, another 4.0 GPA honor roll student was caught cheating on a test in one of my classes. He was embarrassed, his parents couldn't believe that this teacher would make up that he was cheating. I knew a lot more students who got away with it. I would say maybe 40-60% of my friends or acquaintances in high school were openly cheating one way or another on school work to help improve their grades.

These students weren't dumb, and weren't incapable of doing the work themselves and getting good grades, they just did it because it was easier.

At the same time I've had a teacher falsely accuse me of cheating on a test before and it was incredibly frustrating. I only managed to convince the teacher that I wasn't cheating after turning my pockets inside out, rolling up my sleeves, emptying out everything I could have been hiding note cards or other things in, and asked the teacher if I could go out in the hall and give the rest of the answers to the test to him verbally.

I would say that you should contact the school's principal or another building administrator and complain about the conduct of the teacher if you feel it was out of line. Other than that the damage to your daughter if she is innocent has already been done. Her classmates will pester her about cheating on stuff for a while and then it will stop and go away. Your daughter will learn a lesson about how people are *******s and how one can be framed for a crime they didn't commit. It is middle school. Nobody is going to remember this when she is applying for college.

[KDawg]

Well the teacher called me this afternoon. It's a long story, but he apologized to me and later my daughter and said he just wants to move on. He contradicted himself quite a bit in our conversation, saying things like,: I don't think your daughter is a cheater, but I felt like something this serious I needed to inform the other teachers. When I asked why he didn't think it was important enough to inform us parents he said because it was a first offense. He also said that they were not disciplined in any way and there is nothing on their records about the incident. He also said he would follow up with the other teachers to let them know the girls hadn't cheated.

The whole thing was very strange. It was very obvious to me that the teacher knows he blew it in a big way. I'm going to give it a few days before I do anything else. If he follows through with the other teachers I will probably just let it go. As wrong as I think he was, I don't believe going after this guy is going to solve anything. Hopefully we will all learn from the situation and move on.

thanks again for your replies. They were very helpful.

If he really is apologetic for this, I say you have the right idea. Let it go. People learn from mistakes, unfortunately, your daughter was on the wrong end of this lesson for this teacher. But, if he's a good teacher, he'll learn something and not repeat the same mistake. It's how you better yourself, unfortunately. Going after him just adds stress into everyone's lives, and he sounds like he really is sorry from your story. If he wasn't, and insisted on being a jerk, then going after him may be a better option.

Bravo for how you handled it, GSF. Very well done.

[mcsluggo]

I don't think you can just let this go..... you better be safe and go ahead and TP his house.

[joe]

well it looks like it has now blown over, but for the record, when you meet with a teacher on something like this, I would also have the guidance counselor present. A third party is just a good idea.