Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Right now, in the movie, the team has a huge fight in practice. That is when the grizzled veteran (played here by London Fletcher) gives an impassioned speech about togetherness and teamwork and how football is the most important thing in the world because it is pure and and good and decent. I have a lot more confidence if Michael Clarke Duncan was somehow involved in this. Now, the offensive line situation is almost a sports movie cliche right now. Granted, it would be a lot better if we had a former sumo wrestler or obese Samoan playing the offensive line for the first time ever. But there is now doubt that the ancient, chain-smoking o-line coach would turn this unit into a shocking group of killers. Joe Bugel fits the mold perfectly here. John Mahoney would almost certainly play him in the movie. One of the young receivers - played by Flo-Rida - would make a huge game-changing catch against the chiefs would suddenly "get it." And Donald Faison as Jason Campbell would suddenly "get it." And now for the clincher of the us against the world turning point. The team rallies behind embattled coach Jim Zorn (I dunno...Stephon Root maybe) by turning on tiny evil owner Daniel Snyder (Zeljko Ivanek). I see this all leading to a cardboard cut-out of Danny in the locker room where ten pieces of his suit are removed after each victory leading him to wearing boxer shorts with little hearts on them or something. This is going to all right, folks. Trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stebog Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Heh nice post. Cerrato - "Hey Shannahan, how'd you like to coach the Washington Redskins?" Mike S - "Oh I don't know, hey lemme call you back, I got a guy on the other line that wants to buy some whitewalls." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Heh nice post.Cerrato - "Hey Shannahan, how'd you like to coach the Washington Redskins?" Mike S - "Oh I don't know, hey lemme call you back, I got a guy on the other line that wants to buy some whitewalls." of course everyone else would just say "they're still ******" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ST is my boy Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I see this all leading to a cardboard cut-out of Danny in the locker room where ten pieces of his suit are removed after each victory leading him to wearing boxer shorts with little hearts on them or something. LOL!!!!!!!!!! That might just be the best thing ive read on this site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Botched Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Haha nice post LKB. . I have a lot more confidence if Michael Clarke Duncan was somehow involved in this. He would make a perfect Chris Samuels. I imagine Cooley would provide the comic relief right? Who would play him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 You forgot the montage, just after the impassioned speech by the grizzled vet, of the o-line practicing in the dark, bonding over pizza, pumping iron together, and gently needling the new guy, culminating in the Friday practice where they blow the 1st string D-line off the ball, to the D-linemen's wide-eyed surprise and the knowing smile of the o-line coach. I'll let you pick the inspirational music for the montage soundtrack. One tip: Eye of the Tiger is played out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 the real question is, who is gonna sleep with whose wife? maybe thats why sellers has been tanking blocks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 You forgot the montage, just after the impassioned speech by the grizzled vet, of the o-line practicing in the dark, bonding over pizza, pumping iron together, and gently needling the new guy, culminating in the Friday practice where they blow the 1st string D-line off the ball, to the D-linemen's wide-eyed surprise and the knowing smile of the o-line coach. I'll let you pick the inspirational music for the montage soundtrack. One tip: Eye of the Tiger is played out. Maybe they the 5 PM drinking club that the Hogs had. (I'm assuming an early scene where Joe Jacoby (Noah Emmrich) tells them some stories of the glory days. The Final Countdown by Europe has never been well-used in a movie for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rufus T Firefly Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Scene 1- Zorn recruits a hot chick to be the placekicker. Scene 2- Players in the huddle discuss sacrificing a live chicken to take the hex off Carlos Rogers' hands. Scene 3- Players all march into Snyder's office and lay down their jerseys, threatening not to play if Zorn isn't kept. Scene 4- Zorn gives a rousing speech about how anyone can win on any given Tuesday (someone corrects him), how he's sick of hearing how great a hockey team the Cowboys have (someone corrects him again), how there's no crying in football, and how they should win one for Tipper Gore. Scene 5- Campbell calling the signals "Hi diddle diddle, the cat in the fiddle, this time we gonna go up the middle" (had to do a Marx Brothers reference) Scene 6- Zorn sacrifices the win to get all his back-ups in the game, including the fat kid, the snot nosed kid and the poindexter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Sellers: "It says right here in my contract I don't have to do any calisthenics I don't deem necessary" Zorn: [throws contract on ground] [unzip] Meh, just doesn't work. The movie would be much better if Zorn is fired and Buges is made coach. Then, it works. ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 the real ending would be an empire strikes back ending. luke skywalker plays the role of dan snyder, and we the fanbase as darth vader beat the bejesus out of him with a light saber, fling objects at his head with our thoughts, chop off his hand, tell him were his "daddy", then throw him down an endless shaft. we'd have to somehow make sure the falcon never picks him up off that bespin antennae though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Scene 1- Zorn recruits a hot chick to be the placekicker.Scene 2- Players in the huddle discuss sacrificing a live chicken to take the hex off Carlos Rogers' hands. Scene 3- Players all march into Snyder's office and lay down their jerseys, threatening not to play if Zorn isn't kept. Scene 4- Zorn gives a rousing speech about how anyone can win on any given Tuesday (someone corrects him), how he's sick of hearing how great a hockey team the Cowboys have (someone corrects him again), how there's no crying in football, and how they should win one for Tipper Gore. Scene 5- Campbell calling the signals "Hi diddle diddle, the cat in the fiddle, this time we gonna go up the middle" (had to do a Marx Brothers reference) Scene 6- Zorn sacrifices the win to get all his back-ups in the game, including the fat kid, the snot nosed kid and the poindexter. Om sneaks onto the field at the end and is left all alone for the game-winning catch. Then the entire opposing team falls on top of him and he ends up in the hospital where Kerri Green and Charlie Sheen lead a vigil. And then he ends up high and unemployed and living in Corey Feldman's house. (Humpty Dupmpy sat on the wall, this time we give Professor Wagstaff the ball). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoony Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 [Landry rolls up in Lamborghini] Buges: "I thought you said you didn't have any high-priced talent?" Blache: "Forget Landry because he's just high-priced" [Marko Mitchell pulls up in his volkswagen beetle with rolls royce front end] Mitchell: 'scuse me, can you tell me where the practice field is? I plan to put on a catching display Bugel: "the parking lot is over there" [Portis walks by in drag] Bugel: "Who is this ****ing guy?" .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 what are the odds that dans next movie is Black Hammer/White Lightening starring vinny and portis? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 [Landry rolls up in Lamborghini]Buges: "I thought you said you didn't have any high-priced talent?" Blache: "Forget Landry because he's just high-priced" [Marko Mitchell pulls up in his volkswagen beetle with rolls royce front end] Mitchell: 'scuse me, can you tell me where the practice field is? I plan to put on a catching display Bugel: "the parking lot is over there" [Portis walks by in drag] Bugel: "Who is this ****ing guy?" .... Would Philip Daniels be the "I wish we had him three years ago...We did...I wish we had him five years ago" guy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aston Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Big Albert would definitely be the Pedro Cerrano. But instead of a sacrificing a live chicken, we would need to kill an entire cow. I mean, dude's gotta eat, ya know? And I can totally see Jason Campbell rocking the Wild Thing glasses and of a sudden noticing that he has wide open receivers all over the field. He could probably pull of the hedge head too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 what are the odds that dans next movie is Black Hammer/White Lightening starring vinny and portis? This thread has gotten very Major League specific. Buzzbee is the guy from Georgetown, right? Maybe he needs the girlfriend who highlights all the "****" parts of the books he reads? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Lloyd Christmas Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 This thread has gotten very Major League specific.Buzzbee is the guy from Georgetown' date=' right? Maybe he needs the girlfriend who highlights all the "****" parts of the books he reads?[/quote'] major league II thank you very much. i tried to take it the star wars route, but ooohhh no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 i tried to take it the star wars route, but ooohhh no. Well, yea, that was a bit of a reach. Maybe we could have John Riggins beat up Dan Snyder in a fight to the death, win, and right before dying hand the keys of Redskins One to ES poster "SnyderMustGo." Then right before we fade to black, Riggo looks at the camera and says, "Earn this." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan T. Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 [Marko Mitchell pulls up in his volkswagen beetle with rolls royce front end]Mitchell: 'scuse me, can you tell me where the practice field is? I plan to put on a catching display Bugel: "the parking lot is over there" [Portis walks by in drag] Bugel: "Who is this ****ing guy?" .... :rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SolidSnake84 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 it goes the way of any given sunday: the team somehow bonds after a tough loss and then rally to make it into the playoffs.... They go on a cinderella run but ultimatley lose in the championship game, but they feel like winners because they rallied together to go on an improbable run..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aston Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 [London Fletcher arrives at DeAngelo Hall's house after the Carolina game] Hall: Hey, London, old boy, what brings you out here? You got uh, financial problems? You know I just got that fat contract right? I could get you with a great investment guy. Fletcher: Oh no, thanks. I don't know if I have much of a portfolio right now. I did have something I wanted to talk to you about though, if ya got time. Hall: Oh yeah? What's that? Fletcher: Well, I wanted to talk to you about that missed tackle against Delhomme in the 4th. Hall: He's bigger than me. What'd you want me to do, dive at his legs? Fletcher: [Turns off the 72" HD TV] It cost us the game, D. Hall: Oh please. You're going after this like a freaking free agent, and I'm not about to sacrifice my body, or this house, to make numb nutz any richer. Fletcher: [As Mrs. Hall walks in with Booty Sweat on a tray] God damn it, Hall! I haven't missed a single ******* game in my entire career, or a tackle!!! This is my last shot at a winner, and for the rookies, this may be their only shot!! I don't what the hell happened to you, but the next time I catch you miss a game-winning tackle .... I'm gonna cut your nuts off, and shove em down your ******* throat!!!! Mrs Hall: Booty Sweat, anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo2365 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Donald Faison as JC is just too funny. Alfonso Ribeiro would be a perfect CP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go_Jibbs! Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Keep it up guys this thread is great!!!! But please for the love of God, try to involve BOB UECKER somehow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lombardi's_kid_brother Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Keep it up guys this thread is great!!!! But please for the love of God, try to involve BOB UECKER somehow... Well, there's a pretty good chance that Sam Huff will say "I think I'll wet my pants" at some point this season in reality. So, we got that covered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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