Capt Rich Fla Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 How did everyone's Thanksgiving go yesterday? I still have a busted gut, turkey coma and my girls are wound up like two hot saws. Anyone have any good stuff happen, like the always popular family fight? I love those stories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt. Kaos Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Not really a family fight per say but I did have a heated exchange with my father in law when he tried to stick the thermometer in the breast meat of the turkey that I was cooking! Not a big deal unless you figure in that I have not so much as disagreed with this man in the 13 years that I have known him. But Overall, A nice Thanksgiving with family and friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twa Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Met my daughter at O'Hare at 8:00 am and wished her by and dropped off her computer ect(Navy boot grad),then had a lovely:rolleyes: thanksgiving dinner of chili and queso and beer while waiting for my flight. She's happy,and I'm happy to be home and a warm 74 degrees :cool:and knowing she is happy with her choice and bound for Charleston. Hopefully the kinfolk saved plenty of leftovers for me raid tomorrow. For no decent food,football and having to travel it was still a great day seeing her along with the wife,mother in law and brother in law. Sorry, no fights among us...though I did see a doozy today with strangers hollering,cussing and dragging one guy out from behind the wheel(while it was in gear:doh:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The 12th Commandment Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 As usual my ole man was causing trouble. Everybody wanted a fire but him so once we had one lit he instituted a ridiculous rule that a door in the living room had to be open to provide "air". Made it cold of course and it took my 96 year old grandmother ****ing to finally get him to close it. Not a big deal, it's so common round chere, causes more laughs than bad feelings. All in all a fine day! My sisters kids wore me out like a cheap rug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 My grandma reached for the same piece of turkey I wanted, so obviously I had no choice. I stabbed her in the hand with my fork. She was OK. I gave her a couple of percocets from my drug addict mom's medicine cabinet, and she chased it with five or six shots of SoCo. This proceeded to get her to open up about a lot of things, including how my dad never loved my mom. He just married her because my granddad threatened to cut his giblets off with an electric knife if he didn't. Apparently, the lovely photos of my parents' wedding day I had admired for so long were all headshots, because my mom was eight months pregnant with me. My brother, the actor who quit his six-figure job with Philip Morris to do community theater broke down and admitted at the table to his wife that he was gay. She said she already knew, seeing as he quit his six-figure job with Philip Morris to do community theater. He cried and walked out. My ex-wife lipped off again, so I had to punch her in the dome a few times. I always hate doing that in front of the kids. I just reminded them again that mommy was the devil, and that daddy's just doing his job protecting the world from evil. My oldest explained to everyone that she's the first child in the history of the world dumb enough to fail kindergarten, and my youngest (who's 2) suggested that prostitution might be a good career choice because no matter how bad the economy gets, there's always a demand for it. And finally, my granddad came back from the grave just to say, "Damn, I'm glad I left all y'all mother ****ers as young as I did. You crazy ****ers." So yeah, all in all, it was probably my bestest Thanksgiving ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RammsteinSkins Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 My grandma reached for the same piece of turkey I wanted, so obviously I had no choice. I stabbed her in the hand with my fork. She was OK. I gave her a couple of percocets from my drug addict mom's medicine cabinet, and she chased it with five or six shots of SoCo.This proceeded to get her to open up about a lot of things, including how my dad never loved my mom. He just married her because my granddad threatened to cut his giblets off with an electric knife if he didn't. Apparently, the lovely photos of my parents' wedding day I had admired for so long were all headshots, because my mom was eight months pregnant with me. My brother, the actor who quit his six-figure job with Philip Morris to do community theater broke down and admitted at the table to his wife that he was gay. She said she already knew, seeing as he quit his six-figure job with Philip Morris to do community theater. He cried and walked out. My ex-wife lipped off again, so I had to punch her in the dome a few times. I always hate doing that in front of the kids. I just reminded them again that mommy was the devil, and that daddy's just doing his job protecting the world from evil. My oldest explained to everyone that she's the first child in the history of the world dumb enough to fail kindergarten, and my youngest (who's 2) suggested that prostitution might be a good career choice because no matter how bad the economy gets, there's always a demand for it. And finally, my granddad came back from the grave just to say, "Damn, I'm glad I left all y'all mother ****ers as young as I did. You crazy ****ers." So yeah, all in all, it was probably my bestest Thanksgiving ever. :rotflmao: Best.Post.Ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skins4Life6388 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 my cousin came out of the closet, that was interesting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squatch66 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 awesome thanksgiving story h_h something i thought was great during my holiday. my sister moved out to texas from florida with her family and my grandparents. i havent spent a thanksgiving with them in over 10 years so it was great. during the cowboys game my brother in law looks at me and goes "you know how to throw a football?" of course i say yes so he goes into his office (he is a regional vp for an alcohol company ) and grabs an nfl football autographed by jack del rio out of the trophy case and says lets go. i look at him and ask "are you sure you want to throw that around? thats autographed by jack del rio." he says "i dont care i hate that guy anyways. so we went out in the street and scuffed the **** out of that ball. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rdskn4Lyf21 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 My dad woke up with a swollen ankle the size of a softball so I spent 3 hours with him at the urgent care center. We then spent another few hours driving around looking for a bakery open to get something for my girlfriend's family. To top that off we ended up at a grocery store where he crutched around on yelling "****!" (the "F" one ) as loud as he could every few steps. He then took a Yuengling from it's package and tried to buy just the single bottle. When the cashier wouldn't let him he hobbled right behind the guy to the service counter to try to buy it. The cashier followed him and told the customer service lady not to let him get it. Fun times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quincy Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 my cousin came out of the closet, that was interesting Wow, awkward moment much? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DButz65 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Man i ate so much turkey, that after eating i went and sat in the soft double wide leather chair in my in laws living room, that i passed out for 2 hours, so i dont have any stories :silly::laugh::laugh::laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted November 29, 2008 Author Share Posted November 29, 2008 H_H, I know that is a farse, but I could totaly see a movie made out of that. Maybe I should have worded ny sentence differently. The bad stories are a little depressing but the one where the kids spilll like 3 glasses of milk during the dinner (my personal best) are always fun. I went to the kids school on Wednesday and got to be daddy of the class for the day. The kids learned songs and sang for all the parents. They made those little paper indian head dresses and sang thanks giving songs. That made me cry. The X was there. She wanted no part of it. I brought 3 pounds of turkey meat rolled up and put it on a Redskins platter I use for chips and such. It was quit fitting with the indian and all. Most all the parents left early to back to work. I got to stay and play with the kids and tell them fishing stories. Thursday I let the kids do anything they wanted. They ate christmas cookies all day and chocolate covered pretzels, egg nog, pumkin pie. By three o'clock they were just standing in one spot squeeling and laughing. Decorating the house by myself with the kids has been a challenge. I look and both of them each have a strand and take off across the yard holding on to one end. Lights busting and flying everywhere. I'm on the ladder and am working my butt off when I hear that noise. The sound of silence. When there is no noise there is trouble. From my 10 foot perch I see the 2 year old tearing off down the sidewalk on a tricycle. She's a quarter mile away and I see people walking down the street in disbelief that they are seeing such an independant 2 year old. I made my best sprint to get her. I'm still sore from that run. I get back with the youngest and the oldest has the gas can for the lawnmower out and is poring it in the grass. :doh::doh:They are not allowed in the garage so when the doors are open they see all kinds of cool stuff to get into. "Daddy, I was helping water the grass for you. I'm a good helper, huh? Can I have my roller blades?" (the young one) "Daddy, I poopded":doh: I've had a blast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted November 29, 2008 Author Share Posted November 29, 2008 my cousin came out of the closet, that was interesting Pfffft! They've got a flare for the dramatics, don't they? Why do all puffs that come out of the closet have to do it at family gatherings like Christmas and Thanksgiving? We already knew you were gay! You can't throw a baseball and you've never had a girlfriend. DING DONG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 "Daddy, I was helping water the grass for you. I'm a good helper, huh? Can I have my roller blades?" (the young one) "Daddy, I poopded":doh: I've had a blast. That's classic. And you know damned good and well you said, "Yes honey, you're a great helper. Now let daddy have that please." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted November 29, 2008 Author Share Posted November 29, 2008 That is exactly what I said. I have these two old people that sit outside on their porch everyday all day long acroos the street from me. Last night I was hanging lights in a palm tree and they were walking their dog and stopped to say HI. They said it looked like that movie home alone. They were cracking up. I have alot more to do today. Sidewalk chalk! That might keep 'em close for a minute or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SC_RedskinsFan Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 That is exactly what I said. I have these two old people that sit outside on their porch everyday all day long acroos the street from me. Last night I was hanging lights in a palm tree and they were walking their dog and stopped to say HI. They said it looked like that movie home alone. They were cracking up. I have alot more to do today. Sidewalk chalk! That might keep 'em close for a minute or two. Tie some fishin line to them, that way you can always reel them back in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 That is exactly what I said. I have these two old people that sit outside on their porch everyday all day long acroos the street from me. Last night I was hanging lights in a palm tree and they were walking their dog and stopped to say HI. They said it looked like that movie home alone. They were cracking up. I have alot more to do today. Sidewalk chalk! That might keep 'em close for a minute or two. Heh. The best part is that our girls have no earthly idea what a couple of bumbling idiots we are when it comes to their care. Hell, the way I look at it, if I LEAVE my ex's house with two kids, and RETURN to her house with two kids...I've succeeded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Pfffft! They've got a flare for the dramatics, don't they? Why do all puffs that come out of the closet have to do it at family gatherings like Christmas and Thanksgiving? We already knew you were gay! You can't throw a baseball and you've never had a girlfriend. DING DONG! Ding Dong. How about you stop using derogatory terms about specific groups of people? You're a funny guy and I generally enjoy reading your posts, especially when you're on a roll, but "puffs" is pretty unnecessary. It seems like its your go to term when gay bashing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt Rich Fla Posted November 29, 2008 Author Share Posted November 29, 2008 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I love the word puff though. It's better than **** suc...............never mind. And I'm not gay bashing, I dislike most people. So settle down, IT'S CHRISTMAS! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I love the word puff though. It's better than **** suc...............never mind. :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I love the word puff though. It's better than **** suc...............never mind.And I'm not gay bashing, I dislike most people. So settle down, IT'S CHRISTMAS! I'm not offended. I'm just suggesting that you refrain from using antiquated terminology that makes you look like a bigot. Merry Christmas as well. :gaintsuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I'm not offended. I'm just suggesting that you refrain from using antiquated terminology that makes you look like a bigot. Merry Christmas as well. :gaintsuck Did you read the Wal-Mart thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Did you read the Wal-Mart thread? Just did. Sad story indeed. The old adage of "A person is intelligent, but people are dumb." applies pretty well. Just look at the zoo FedEdField can be sometimes, or any event with throngs of people. I also think its strange to devalue a person who shops at WalMart as subhuman because they have a desire (or outright need) to spend less money on items. If you don't like the store, don't shop there. Anyway, I think this is gone off topic enough. Send me a PM sometime. My Thanksgiving was bizzare as most of my family went on a trip. There were 6 people at mt Pop's house. He could've cooked a damn chicken instead with that many people there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Anyway, I think this is gone off topic enough. Send me a PM sometime. Fair enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 7 pm Wed night. Biggest DUI night out there. Middle of a busy town at rush hour. Older guy (50's) gets out of his car to say something to somebody. Door on his Lexus locks. Middle of the 2 lane road. Busy street. Locked out of a running car. Hour later. Car towed. Arrested. Brilliant. Dumbest DUI I have ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.