Becoming Illegal

[909997]

I recieved this e-mail which is allegedly an actual letter that a person from Iowa wrote 2 his local Senator. Its obviously dripping with sarcasm but I'm interested in people's thoughts.

The Honorable Tom Harkin

731 Hart Senate Office Buildin g

Washington DC , 20510

Phone (202) 224-3254

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department o f Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 an d 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status is that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

Donald Ruppert

Burlington , IA

I thought it was pretty neat thoughts?

[DjTj]

I thought it was pretty neat thoughts?

AFAIK, the $2000 fine and back taxes don't make them citizens; it just makes them legal immigrants.

The requirements for becoming a citizen are still the same.

edit: Here is a link from Bill O'Reilly about the Kennedy-McCain Amnesty Bill:

Illegal aliens already in the U.S.A., and they number more than 10 million, would have to register, pay a $2,000 fine, clear a criminal background check, and pass an English language exam. If they did that and had a job, they could stay in this country and apply for citizenship in six years.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,156637,00.html

Any legal immigrant holding a green card is allowed to apply for citizenship within five years, so they would still be ahead of any illegal in line.

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=12e596981298d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD

[Sarge]

If Obama wins, I'm going to quit work and live off government programs. Might as well apply to be illegal too

[Drockvb]

I love it. We need more letters like this sent out to the powers that be. If we stay silent, we are nothing more than sheeple.

[GoSkins561]

I think I would rather pay more for my tomatoes, on the other hand becoming "illegal" doesn't sound like a bad deal.

[GoSkins561]

This is a circular email that went around a while ago, which prompted me to say what I did in my last post.

From an American school teacher - - -

"As you listen to the news about the student protests over illegal

immigration, there are some things that you should be aware of:

I am in charge of the English-as-a-second-language department at a large

southern California high school that is designated a Title 1 school,

meaning that its students average lower socio-economic and income levels.

Most of the schools you are hearing about --- South Gate High, Bell Gardens,

Huntington Park, etc.--- where students are protesting, are also Title 1

schools.

One hundred percent of the students in this school and other Title 1 schools

are on the free breakfast and free lunch program. When I say free breakfast,

I'm not talking a glass of milk and roll --- but a full breakfast and a cereal

bar along with fruits and juices that would make a Marriott proud.

The waste of this food is monumental, with trays and trays of it being

dumped in the trash uneaten! (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I estimate that well over 50% of these students are obese or at least

moderately overweight. About 75% or more DO have cell phones. The school

also provides day care centers for the unwed teenage pregnant girls (some as

young as 13) so they can attend class without the inconvenience of having to

arrange for babysitters or having family watch their kids. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I was ordered to spend $700,000 on my department or risk losing funding for

the upcoming year, even though there was little need for anything; my budget

was already substantial.

I ended up buying new computers for the computer-learning center; half of

which, one month later, have been carved with graffiti by the appreciative

students who obviously feel humbled and grateful to have a free education in

America. (OUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK)

I have had to intervene several times for young and substitute teachers

whose classes consist of many illegal immigrant students here in the country

less then 3 months who raised so much hell with the female teachers, calling

them "Putas"(whores) and throwing things that the teachers were in tears.

Free medical, free education, free food, day care etc., etc., etc. Is it any

wonder they feel entitled to not only be in this country but to demand

rights, privileges and entitlements?

To my bleeding-heart friends who want to point out how much these illegal

immigrants contribute to our society because they LIKE their gardener and

housekeeper and they like to pay less for tomatoes: spend some time in the

real world of illegal immigration and see the TRUE costs.

Higher insurance costs, medical facilities closing, higher medical costs, more

crime, lower standards of education in our schools, overcrowding, new

diseases etc., etc., etc. As for me, I'd be glad to pay more for my

tomatoes.

We need to wake up. The guest worker program will be a disaster because we won't have the guts to enforce it.

Does anyone in their right mind really think they will voluntarily leave our country and return to their own?

There are many hardworking Hispanic/American citizens that contribute to our

country and many that I consider my true friends. We should encourage and

accept those Hispanics who have done it the right and legal way.

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture

that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and

dropping out of school by 15, and that refuses to assimilate on one hand, and an American culture that has become so weak & worried about "politically correct" that we don't have the will to do anything about it.

If this make your blood boil, as it did mine, forward this to everyone you

know."

Don't forget to pay your taxes -- 30 million illegal aliens are depending on

you !

[FlyinO]

It does, however, have everything to do with culture: A third-world culture that does not value education, that accepts children getting pregnant and dropping out of school by 15, and that refuses to assimilate on one hand, and an American culture that has become so weak & worried about "politically correct" that we don't have the will to do anything about it.

Don't forget to pay your taxes -- 30 million illegal aliens are depending on you !

The second generation from illegals is really going to make us sorry we let any of them in.

[GoSkins561]

The second generation from illegals is really going to make us sorry we let any of them in.

In the Washington Nationals thread I started to post something but it was way off topic and I was politely asked to stop because the thread was going off topic.

HH is probably well aware of the place I am speaking of but I am not going to mention the name of it until I have a chance to go there and take some pictures.

It is a very scenic lake about 1o minutes away from my house, the problem is the major illegal immigrant problem. Some might ask, how do I know they are illegal? I don't. There are a couple of signs that should at least warrent immigration visiting this park and checking green cards. People washing clothes in the lake :doh: yep and a lot of people mid 20's that might have 5 words of English in thier vocab.

It is funny this thread has come up, I was actually planning on visiting the park, taking pictures, sending a letter to my local representatives and of course starting a thread on ES with in the next week or so.

[DjTj]

Okay, let me respond to this for real. Here is a summary of the McCain-Kennedy bill: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/5/13/112653/285

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 an d 2005.

I'm actually not sure what this "three out of five years" thing comes from, but in addition to the $2,000 fine, illegals would have to pay any back taxes that were unpaid.

edit: Okay, I think I found what this was referring to in the 2006 Comprehensive Immigration Reform Act.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/F?c109:2:./temp/~c109KR4npW:e544523:

Section 245B(a)(1)(D)(i)(I) requires that to be eligible for amnesty, the immigrant must have been employed for three of the past five years. Subsection (E)(ii) says that taxes are only owed for that required period of employment, but that doesn't mean you only need to pay for three out of the five years. You still have to pay for all of the years that you were working; the three out of five years requirement just means that if you have been unemployed for the past four years, you won't be eligible for amnesty.

It's a little confusing, which is probably why conservative bloggers misread the bill.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Getting all your medical care at the emergency room isn't just a benefit of being an illegal. Anyone can do it if they want, whether you're an immigrant or not. Citizens can stop paying for health insurance, walk into the emergency room, refuse to show ID, and get medical treatment on the taxpayer's dime. They don't check if you're illegal or not.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status is that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

I don't know of any school that asks for immigration status on their applications. You would probably gain more if you could change your status to "African-American" rather than being illegal.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

Just like the emergency room thing, any citizen can stop paying their car insurance premiums and can drive without a license; you'll just have to pay big fines if you are pulled over, which is what illegals do.

...If you want all the "benefits" of being an illegal immigrant, you don't need to have the government change your status. You can just stop paying for things. Once you're living off of free emergency room health care, driving without a license, and hiding from the IRS, I'm sure you'll realize that being an illegal immigrant isn't really that great...

[GoSkins561]

There goes DJTJ making sense again.

[.Guy.]

If Obama wins, I'm going to quit work and live off government programs. Might as well apply to be illegal too

\

can I hold you to this?

[Springfield]

If Obama wins, I'm going to quit work and live off government programs. Might as well apply to be illegal too

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em right?

[IHOPSkins]

I love it. We need more letters like this sent out to the powers that be. If we stay silent, we are nothing more than sheeple.

Agree with the first part

Disagree with "Silent"

We voiced our concerns during the latest SHAMNESTY bill and got it dropped

BUT congress and the Liberal Bush has not built the wall etc......DELAYING TACTIC

Your point to "Take this to the next Level" is well received by me (and the majority of other LEGAL citizens in this country)

Sarcastic Humor is better than a Marxist running for president

[skindogger47]

If Obama wins, I'm going to quit work and live off government programs. Might as well apply to be illegal too

Why not just do that now? Is it because we have a very important war to win?

[GoSkins561]

Hey, there are some benefits to being illegal. They can collect SS, geesh to think all of the money we have put in over the past several years will now be shared with people who came here illegals.

========================================================

Illegals granted Social Security

http://www.washtimes.com/news/2006/may/18/20060518-114132-2456r/

The Senate voted yesterday to allow illegal aliens to collect Social Security benefits based on past illegal employment -- even if the job was obtained through forged or stolen documents.

"There was a felony they were committing, and now they can't be prosecuted. That sounds like amnesty to me," said Sen. John Ensign, the Nevada Republican who offered the amendment yesterday to strip out those provisions of the immigration reform bill. "It just boggles the mind how people could be against this amendment."

The Ensign amendment was defeated on a 50-49 vote

"We all know that millions of undocumented immigrants pay Social Security and Medicare taxes for years and sometimes decades while they work to contribute to our economy," said Sen. John McCain, Arizona Republican.

"The Ensign amendment would undermine the work of these people by preventing lawfully present immigrant workers from claiming Social Security benefits that they earned before they were authorized to work in our community," he said. "If this amendment were enacted, the nest egg that these immigrants have worked hard for would be taken from them and their families."

click the link for the rest of the article.

[edgun88]

If Obama wins, I'm going to quit work and live off government programs. Might as well apply to be illegal too

Seriously, if he wins, then why should we work? We can just be bums at home and collect checks for free. AWESOME!

[Larry]

"We all know that millions of undocumented immigrants pay Social Security and Medicare taxes for years and sometimes decades while they work to contribute to our economy," said Sen. John McCain, Arizona Republican.

"The Ensign amendment would undermine the work of these people by preventing lawfully present immigrant workers from claiming Social Security benefits that they earned before they were authorized to work in our community," he said. "If this amendment were enacted, the nest egg that these immigrants have worked hard for would be taken from them and their families."

1) Do I understand that McCain voted against removing this clause?

2) John, where do you get those words "lawfully present"? Is this another senior moment?

[Larry]

And to all the "If Obama wins, I'll just become unemployed" folks . . .

You folks got any particular thing that says that if Obama wins, things will be any different than they are now? Or are y'all just talking out of your Philly?

[TheSteve]

And to all the "If Obama wins, I'll just become unemployed" folks . . .

You folks got any particular thing that says that if Obama wins, things will be any different than they are now? Or are y'all just talking out of your Philly?

Not to mention that the incentive to quit work and live off government funded welfare is usually a decision made by people who aren't making much to begin with such that the opportunity cost of not working does not exceed what they would make in the employment sector. I'm really doubting those here are poor enough that not working is really an option for them.

[GoSkins561]

1) Do I understand that McCain voted against removing this clause?

2) John, where do you get those words "lawfully present"? Is this another senior moment?

Since he is really a moderate he voted with the rest of the Democrats.

http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=109&session=2&vote=00130

Akaka (D-HI), Yea

Alexander (R-TN), Nay

Allard (R-CO), Nay

Allen (R-VA), Nay

Baucus (D-MT), Yea

Bayh (D-IN), Yea

Bennett (R-UT), Nay

Biden (D-DE), Yea

Bingaman (D-NM), Yea

Bond (R-MO), Nay

Boxer (D-CA), Yea

Brownback (R-KS), Yea

Bunning (R-KY), Nay

Burns (R-MT), Nay

Burr (R-NC), Nay

Byrd (D-WV), Nay

Cantwell (D-WA), Yea

Carper (D-DE), Yea

Chafee (R-RI), Yea

Chambliss (R-GA), Nay

Clinton (D-NY), Yea

Coburn (R-OK), Nay

Cochran (R-MS), Nay

Coleman (R-MN), Nay

Collins (R-ME), Nay

Conrad (D-ND), Nay

Cornyn (R-TX), Nay

Craig (R-ID), Nay

Crapo (R-ID), Nay

Dayton (D-MN), Nay

DeMint (R-SC), Nay

DeWine (R-OH), Yea

Dodd (D-CT), Yea

Dole (R-NC), Nay

Domenici (R-NM), Nay

Dorgan (D-ND), Yea

Durbin (D-IL), Yea

Ensign (R-NV), Nay

Enzi (R-WY), Nay

Feingold (D-WI), Yea

Feinstein (D-CA), Yea

Frist (R-TN), Nay

Graham (R-SC), Yea

Grassley (R-IA), Nay

Gregg (R-NH), Nay

Hagel (R-NE), Yea

Harkin (D-IA), Yea

Hatch (R-UT), Nay

Hutchison (R-TX), Nay

Inhofe (R-OK), Nay

Inouye (D-HI), Yea

Isakson (R-GA), Nay

Jeffords (I-VT), Yea

Johnson (D-SD), Yea

Kennedy (D-MA), Yea

Kerry (D-MA), Yea

Kohl (D-WI), Yea

Kyl (R-AZ), Nay

Landrieu (D-LA), Yea

Lautenberg (D-NJ), Yea

Leahy (D-VT), Yea

Levin (D-MI), Yea

Lieberman (D-CT), Yea

Lincoln (D-AR), Yea

Lott (R-MS), Nay

Lugar (R-IN), Yea

Martinez (R-FL), Yea

McCain (R-AZ), Yea

McConnell (R-KY), Nay

Menendez (D-NJ), Yea

Mikulski (D-MD), Yea

Murkowski (R-AK), Nay

Murray (D-WA), Yea

Nelson (D-FL), Nay

Nelson (D-NE), Nay

Obama (D-IL), Yea

Pryor (D-AR), Yea

Reed (D-RI), Yea

Reid (D-NV), Yea

Roberts (R-KS), Nay

Rockefeller (D-WV), Not Voting

Salazar (D-CO), Yea

Santorum (R-PA), Nay

Sarbanes (D-MD), Yea

Schumer (D-NY), Yea

Sessions (R-AL), Nay

Shelby (R-AL), Nay

Smith (R-OR), Nay

Snowe (R-ME), Nay

Specter (R-PA), Yea

Stabenow (D-MI), Yea

Stevens (R-AK), Yea

Sununu (R-NH), Nay

Talent (R-MO), Nay

Thomas (R-WY), Nay

Thune (R-SD), Nay

Vitter (R-LA), Nay

Voinovich (R-OH), Yea

Warner (R-VA), Nay

Wyden (D-OR), Yea

[Larry]

Since he is really a moderate he voted with the rest of the Democrats.

Do you have a source for that? Something that says what they were voting on?

Cause the way I read the article, a Yea vote was a vote to remove "Social Security for Illegals" from the larger bill.

[GoSkins561]

Do you have a source for that? Something that says what they were voting on?

Cause the way I read the article, a Yea vote was a vote to remove "Social Security for Illegals" from the larger bill.

Linked it up, sorry about that I tried to dog a little further myself into some of the other votes and couldn't find anything.

[IHOPSkins]

And to all the "If Obama wins, I'll just become unemployed" folks . .

You folks got any particular thing that says that if Obama wins, things will be any different than they are now? Or are y'all just talking out of your Philly?

PHILLY?....yup it might be WORSE

Obama: God, guns are only refuge of bitter Pennsylvanians

Talking about how the loss of jobs over 25 years has sapped the hope of small-town Pennsylvania residents, Obama said at the Sunday fund-raiser, "they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/891685,CST-NWS-obama12.article

If you vote against support for illegals you are bitter (and a racist, hint hint)

GOT IT :applause:

[Larry]

OK, the vote he quoted (assuming I'm looking at the same vote) was a vote to table the amendment. So, as near as I can tell:

• The original bill (according to the article) contained Social Security for Illegals.
  
• The Ensign Amendment would have removed that clause from the bill
  
• The vote was a Motion to Table, so a Yea vote was a vote to kill the Amendment, thus leaving the clause in the bill.
  

[Destino]

All I see here is a letter written by an ignorant sack of **** too lazy or hateful to educate himself on the immigration issue. I'm sorry folks but I've stopped respecting this kind of crap. The information is out there for all to access and yet we still see this mean spirited BS seeking to dishonestly demonize and further harm the least among us.

I've stopped believing that arguments like these are coming from well meaning americans just looking out for America's best interest. I see the hate behind it and I'm not going to pretend otherwise.

As for the Obama comments, can anyone here quote the social program that will happily be sending them checks? Take your time guys - I don't actually expect any of you to respond because we both know you're full of crap.