SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Alright, so after 5 solid months of straight pimping since my divorce I've decided to exclusively date this woman for now we'll call "this woman". She already breaks one of SO's cardinal rules, she has kids. One is 3 and one is 6 months. The father of these children is an apparent dick who could careless but thats just a sidenote. Anyway, my experience with kids is rather limited but I was curious about a few things. And I'll give a few examples and just tell me what you think. 1. The three year old can be an absolute terror. So when he's in the car I have him convinced that I keep a grizzly bear in my trunk and if he misbehaves I will let it out. 2. He now also believes that little children who stray to far from adults in the grocery store are taken in the backrooms and eaten. 3. The other day he was over at my house and he saw one of the pugs dumping in the backyard and asked me about it. I told him that the pugs were showing there affection for me by pooping outside. I **** you not, he went out in the yard, pulled his pants down and dropped a duece in my yard. Hell I'm still laughing about it. 4. When he throws a hissy fit I just laugh at him So am I screwing this kid up? What is the right size jersey for a 3 year old, toddler, youth, I have no idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 WOW!! hell yes you are. if anything YOU need to be the grizzly bear and let him know that all punishment is going to come from you. that way he will respect you and not some magical bear. thats ****ing funny!! but seriously, he just needs some guidance. he has nothing but a mother who is probably worn to a frazzle and just needs a male authority figure. but dont step in and start being that dad figure unless you plan on being there for a while. if you are just there to "shoplift the pooter" all you are going to do is confuse and make that kid hate adults more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 See Mike, SO doesn't exlusively date someone just for pooter. So I figure I'll be around fo awhile, I just don't wanna **** this kids head up. See my parents used to mess with me all the time. Hell for years I thought I came from the sears catalog, when I was aggravating my mother she'd tell me she was gonna ship me back for another model. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Piece of advice from someone who doesn't have kids. Don't know about Florida, but in Oregon, where my bro lives, the law is that if you behave like a Father to a child, then you owe child support, whether you're actually the father or not. If the kid lives with you, if he calls you Daddy, and I'd suspect that if you discipline the child, then you've volunteered to become his Father figure. (As I understand it, the state's reasoning is that it's in the interests of the state, and the child, for the child to be supported, and they aren't too picky about who they get the money from. Because it's better than Welfare.) You might want to let Mommy be in charge of discipline until you're certain that this is where you want to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 Larry, Her ex-husband is responsible for child support per the divorce decree. Number 2, not how it works in Florida(checked it already). They also have a law similar to that in PA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Don't know about Florida, but in Oregon, where my bro lives, the law is that if you behave[/u] like a Father to a child, then you owe child support, whether you're actually the father or not. That's the most asinine law I've ever heard of in my entire life. Damn. Don't have a penis where kids are concerned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 See Mike, SO doesn't exlusively date someone just for pooter. So I figure I'll be around fo awhile, I just don't wanna **** this kids head up. See my parents used to mess with me all the time. Hell for years I thought I came from the sears catalog, when I was aggravating my mother she'd tell me she was gonna ship me back for another model. good to hear man. i didnt mean to imply that you would do that, just a warning to not do that. you'll do fine bro, you are actually a cool dude and Im sure have a good heart. when not being a douchebag :finger: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 when not being a douchebag :finger: I know you mean that from the bottom of your heart, smooches.:laugh: Any idea what size jersey to get a 3 year old whose the height of a five year old? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Remembering once driving out to see Grandma out in rural Oklahoma, came across a tarantula in the road. Dad stopped the car so we could look at him. But he stopped the car about 6 feet away from the tarantula, and made us keep the windows of the car rolled up, because those things can jump 6 feet, you know, and they like to attack faces. (I probably believed him until I was 20 or so.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 I know you mean that from the bottom of your heart, smooches.:laugh: Any idea what size jersey to get a 3 year old whose the height of a five year old? If you get him one that's too big, then you can just wait a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Remembering once driving out to see Grandma out in rural Oklahoma, came across a tarantula in the road. Dad stopped the car so we could look at him. But he stopped the car about 6 feet away from the tarantula, and made us keep the windows of the car rolled up, because those things can jump 6 feet, you know, and they like to attack faces. (I probably believed him until I was 20 or so.) :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I leave for a couple of weeks and larry becomes the funniest motherf'er on here!! what happened? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Get him a big kids 8, which is a small. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 Thanks Doyler!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgold Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Piece of advice from someone who doesn't have kids. Don't know about Florida, but in Oregon, where my bro lives, the law is that if you behave like a Father to a child, then you owe child support, whether you're actually the father or not. If the kid lives with you, if he calls you Daddy, and I'd suspect that if you discipline the child, then you've volunteered to become his Father figure. I think the most important part of that is... if the child lives with you. If you are the child's defacto guardian and lives with you for a number of years and becomes accustomed to a certain lifestyle... but, I think the key is that he has to live under your roof and under your support for a prolonged period of time. Mind you, I still think it's a dangerous place. I once was sick and watching one of those Judge Judy type of shows and they did a paternity test and found out that the father was not the father, but because for the first five years of his life he had fed, clothed, sheltered, and cared for the kid that the law demanded he continue doing so... even though the couple was never married. As I recall, the judge said that it was a ****ty law but that she was bound by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 Larry thats awesome. My father used to tell me that seedless grapes were made from plutonium(back to the future was big then) adn that they'd make me glow in the dark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RememberOsaka Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 . I **** you not, he went out in the yard, pulled his pants down and dropped a duece in my yard. I've found that if you rub their nose in it , it tends correct this behavior more quickly. :2cents: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Brave Little Toaster Oven Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Coming from the guy who had grandparents and other relative that liked to scare the **** out of him, no, you arent messing the kid up :laugh: My Gma is twisted, she used to tell me that "Jack the Killer" was going to get me if I wandered off from the group...I had nightmares about that. I even made sure to warn the kids in my elementary school about "Jack the Killer" and surprisingly, no one had ever heard of him. :doh: :laugh: They also gave me my uncles number and my uncles pretended to be elves that worked at the North Pole. I would call that number all the time. I started to catch on when I heard the answering machine.... I also proceeded to tell every kid I met that I had the number to the North Pole :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teller Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 They also gave me my uncles number and my uncles pretended to be elves that worked at the North Pole. I would call that number all the time. I started to catch on when I heard the answering machine.... I also proceeded to tell every kid I met that I had the number to the North Pole :doh: You and I were some sharp little rugrats, SF89. When I was three, my dad dressed up as Santa Claus for Christmas Eve. Only hitch was, he forgot the boots. So he comes in all "ho, ho, ho." I didn't miss a beat and said, "Hey Santa. Do you know you have my daddy's shoes on?" :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDoyler23 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Koolblue13 Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 The Grizzly in the trunk reminds me of this add. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tastes Like Chicken Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Alright, so after 5 solid months of straight pimping since my divorce I've decided to exclusively date this woman for now we'll call "this woman". She already breaks one of SO's cardinal rules, she has kids. One is 3 and one is 6 months. The father of these children is an apparent dick who could careless but thats just a sidenote. This is your last warning, Eric. STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE. :mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted June 28, 2008 Author Share Posted June 28, 2008 This is your last warning, Eric.STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE. :mad: John I'm in ****in tears right now I'm laughing so hard :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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