Critique my Personal Ad

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Might want to put in there your not willing to travel.

It's going in a LOCAL publication, not a regional or national one, so travel isn't that much of an issue. Besides, so long as the travel is inside the US, I actually enjoy traveling.

And in case of argument you might get a permanent silent treatment.

Nah. That's grounds for divorce.

[redskins59]

Honestly, I think for a man a personal ad is a waste of time unless your description is

Or else, I'll say you get less then 3 responses, just because of the nature of personal ads

Yes, this is so true. Unless you have characteristics that women find attractive..i.e. you're a millionaire, are well built and well-endowed, you'll get hardly any responses.

[Burgundy Burner]

About twenty years ago, in Parade Magazine, single readers were asked to describe their perfect mate. One young man described the kind of woman that he was seeking and his description matched much of what you're looking for in a companion.

Many readers had harsh comments for him, but one young lady was interested. Parade arranged for them to meet and they eventually got married.

I'm sure my preferences are different than what you are seeking, but this should tell you that there is someone out there who matches your wants and needs.

[Blondie]

Then would there really be any point in introducing me to anyone you know? I'd guess that would be the case for the entire female population here at ES as well.

Oh, I guess I misunderstood this entire thread.

I thought you were placing an ad in a publication.

I didn't realize you put this thread out there in hopes that some

ESer would get you a hook up.

Sorry.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Oh, I guess I misunderstood this entire thread.

I thought you were placing an ad in a publication.

I didn't realize you put this thread out there in hopes that some

ESer would get you a hook up.

I'm not placing an ad. A bunch of nosey female co-workers are placing it for me. Trust me, I'd rather they left well enough alone, but they're adament about it, so I've gotten to a point where it's not worth fighting them on it anymore.

I'm not looking for hook-ups from anyone. I've already had my, and several other people's worth of horrific blind-dates, mercy dates, and the like over the years. My point to you was that since you don't know any women like what I'm looking for (mostly because I don't believe they exist anymore), that any hook-ups you (or any other ES female) could have made for me wouldn't have been worth the time anyway; so they're a moot point for you and Tulane Skins Fan to even discuss.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

About twenty years ago, in Parade Magazine, single readers were asked to describe their perfect mate. One young man described the kind of woman that he was seeking and his description matched much of what you're looking for in a companion.

Many readers had harsh comments for him, but one young lady was interested. Parade arranged for them to meet and they eventually got married.

I'm sure my preferences are different than what you are seeking, but this should tell you that there is someone out there who matches your wants and needs.

Actually, from your story it would appear that the one American woman born after the 1950's who might fit my criteria is already taken. Just my luck, I guess.

[Burgundy Burner]

Huh? Is ES now in the matchmaking business??? Dang.

Ok, here goes...

Long legs - I like long legs. Everything else is negotiable. Did I mention that I like long legs?

[The Sisko]

I pretty much doubt that anyone in that magazine is an American, so it wouldn't be worth the price of the subscription. Remember, so far as I'm concerned the worthwhile parts of the world fall off sharply at the end of American sovereign territory.

Oh yeah, I forgot about the xenophobia part.:doh:

Let me be brutally honest here. I'd be willing to bet that literally no American woman is going to be interested in your program. If you were part of the FLDS church, you might, I repeat, might have an outside shot at it given your Taliban-like beliefs about women and their place in the social heirarchy.

Therefore, your only hope is a mail order bride service. And sadly, I'm not joking, even a little bit.

[Blondie]

I'm not placing an ad. A bunch of nosey female co-workers are placing it for me. Trust me, I'd rather they left well enough alone, but they're adament about it, so I've gotten to a point where it's not worth fighting them on it anymore.

I'm not looking for hook-ups from anyone. I've already had my, and several other people's worth of horrific blind-dates, mercy dates, and the like over the years. My point to you was that since you don't know any women like what I'm looking for (mostly because I don't believe they exist anymore), that any hook-ups you (or any other ES female) could have made for me wouldn't have been worth the time anyway; so they're a moot point for you and Tulane Skins Fan to even discuss.

Again, Mass. No where in my response did I mention finding a woman for you.

I made up an ad that I believe a woman who fit your requirements would have to write.

I did state that no woman I know has such lack of independence. If you thought that meant I was thinking of some of my friends for you, fear not.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Let me be brutally honest here. I'd be willing to bet that literally no American woman is going to be interested in your program. If you were part of the FLDS church, you might, I repeat, might have an outside shot at it given your Taliban-like beliefs about women and their place in the social heirarchy.

Therefore, your only hope is a mail order bride service. And sadly, I'm not joking, even a little bit.

I know, Yusuf. I gave up on even trying to find a woman to have a relationship with YEARS AGO. Unfortunately this quintet of old biddies has decided that they're going to make my love life their business.

As for the FLDS church.... nah. Christianity, especially extremist versions, is such a turn-off for me at this point in my life

[The Sisko]

Again, Mass. No where in my response did I mention finding a woman for you.

I made up an ad that I believe a woman who fit your requirements would have to write.

I did state that no woman I know has such lack of independence. If you thought that meant I was thinking of some of my friends for you, fear not.

Blondie, if you were to ever hook him up with one of your friends, I would literally give you my entire life's savings to be able to listen in on the after date phone call between the two of you.

[Blondie]

Blondie, if you were to ever hook him up with one of your friends, I would literally give you my entire life's savings to be able to listen in on the after date phone call between the two of you.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Not all of my friends are as independent as I am or as to the point.

Heck, I might answer that personal ad.

;)

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Blondie, if you were to ever hook him up with one of your friends, I would literally give you my entire life's savings to be able to listen in on the after date phone call between the two of you.

There wouldn't BE a date, Yusuf. I doubt it would get past the initial phone conversation to set the date up. That's where I'm kind of hoping most of the responses to this ad will die as well.

[Burgundy Burner]

Blondie, I know of one who may fit the requirements.

Cowboy Princess!!!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

YIKES!

[Blondie]

I. Unfortunately this quintet of old biddies has decided that they're going to make my love life their business.

There wouldn't BE a date, Yusuf. I doubt it would get past the initial phone conversation to set the date up. That's where I'm kind of hoping most of the responses to this ad will die as well.

I am really very surprised at you Mass.

You have always portrayed a MY WAY OR THE HI WAY attitude, at least on ES. And your certainly have left no doubts as to your thoughts on the "place" of women.

And yet, a "quintet of old biddies" seem to be running your business.

My.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

[Thiebear]

Lets just make this easy.

Go down to the battered womens shelter and pick one.

problem solved.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

I am really very surprised at you Mass.

You have always portrayed a MY WAY OR THE HI WAY attitude, at least on ES. And your certainly have left no doubts as to your thoughts on the "place" of women.

And yet, a "quintet of old biddies" seem to be running your business.

My.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

Unfortunately this is one case where I don't have the option of just walking away and ceasing to deal with them, Blondie. These are people I have to work with, five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. When this originally came up, about a month ago, I tried to squash it quickly and thoroughly, but it turns out that they're pretty much as stubborn on this topic as I am and have indicated they're going forward with it, whether I'm willing to participate in crafting the ad or not.

Trust me, if there was a way around this that didn't involve physically assaulting them, or doing something else that will get me fired, I'd probably have done it by now.

[Blondie]

Unfortunately this is one case where I don't have the option of just walking away and ceasing to deal with them, Blondie. These are people I have to work with, five days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. When this originally came up, about a month ago, I tried to squash it quickly and thoroughly, but it turns out that they're pretty much as stubborn on this topic as I am and have indicated they're going forward with it, whether I'm willing to participate in crafting the ad or not.

Trust me, if there was a way around this that didn't involve physically assaulting them, or doing something else that will get me fired, I'd probably have done it by now.

If they are publishing something with your phone number WITHOUT your consent, (you said you would be talking to prospects by phone), there may be legal action you can take. I would not care if I had to work with these people or not, if they published my number and I had said no, I would take action.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

If they are publishing something with your phone number WITHOUT your consent, (you said you would be talking to prospects by phone), there may be legal action you can take. I would not care if I had to work with these people or not, if they published my number and I had said no, I would take action.

They don't publish the phone number. You respond to an ad by calling an answering service and then the answering service forwards the responses to the person placing the ad.

[Blondie]

They don't publish the phone number. You respond to an ad by calling an answering service and then the answering service forwards the responses to the person placing the ad.

Oh.

So you don't HAVE to respond. You don't have to call that number.

If you do, it is because you want to.........not because they placed an ad.

Now things are much clearer.

[Mass_SkinsFan]

Oh.

So you don't HAVE to respond. You don't have to call that number.

If you do, it is because you want to.........not because they placed an ad.

Now things are much clearer.

Blondie, basically I'm trying to take the high road here and work this issue out with the least grief and aggrivation being caused in the workplace. The ad will run for two weeks. After that period of time, it would have to be re-ordered. I am hoping to prove to these ladies that it's a waste of time by going through the motions and hopefully at the end of the two weeks being able to look at them and say... "See, I tried it your way and got nothing out of it, now **** off and run your own kids lives instead of mine."

[BigMike619]

you should date one of them MSF. Seems like you already have a good relationship with them. Now all you have to do is chain them like in Black Snake Moan and teach them to "put the lotion on the skin". And dont forget to have a hose handy, they tend not to believe you will actually give them the hose unless they see it.

[The Sisko]

Lets just make this easy.

Go down to the battered womens shelter and pick one.

problem solved.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[Kosher Ham]

There are certainly those women out there, more than you think. Thing is if you want a subservient woman you are going to need to be a solid provider (don't know what's up with your job situation). I would think most of those types of women want children though, but you hate kids. Compromise and communication is a crucial part of any relationship even friendships.

Worse comes to worse...

I would hit up King Brice (forget what he changed his handle to), find out where he found his woman. I bet she got a good whupping for not coming home with the Strawberry milk and a mop.

[The Sisko]

Compromise and communication is a crucial part of any relationship even friendships.

Sorry but this is a deal breaker for him. He's doomed.