Burgundy Burner Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 APNA-April, 2008 By Emmitt Ditka Cowboys Owner to Wed Comedy Icon Dallas - In a stunning development, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will marry Roseanne Barr, the star of her own comedy show from the 1980s. The ceremony will take place in Irving this afternoon at an unspecified time. The early morning announcement caught Cowboys officials and players off guard. Quarterback Tony Romo sits to pee, vacationing with Jessica Simpson in Bug Tussle, TX, expressed his shock. "I got the call last night when Jessica and I were playing a friendly game of watermelon seed spitting - she won again. I couldn't believe the news. But I'm happy for Jerry - Jessica reminds me a lot of Roseanne, so I can understand the attraction". Massive offensive tackle Flozell Adams was excited for the Cowboys owner. "This is great news and I'm happy about resigning with this team in the off-season. The after-game buffets will be even bigger - that's awesome baby"! Receiver Terrell Owens became emotional with tears when asked about the upcoming nuptials. "That's my owner. Say what you want to, but that's my owner. He's my owner, man". The newlyweds will honeymoon in the truckstop town of Bucksnort, TN and return to Dallas in two weeks. In South Miami Beach, former coach Bill Parcells expressed his congratulations. "Good for Jerry, he gets all the great women. Best wishes to the happy couple". In other Cowboys news - The team announced that Field Turf will be used in the new stadium. Speaking on condition of anonymity, one team official said that Field Turf was necessary to prevent the owner's wife from grazing after each game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhoRUSupposed2Be Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Wow, she couldn't find anything better than plastic face? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BALLz Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah, this is true. They ran into each other at a charity funtion that Jones was taking money from. Started chatting it up when Barr confessed that she had a penis. Jones then got all excited, pull Barr into a Porta-Jon and flashed his old sagging vagina. They've been inseperable ever since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redskins:Victory_or_Death Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Yeah, this is true. They ran into each other at a charity funtion that Jones was taking money from. Started chatting it up when Barr confessed that she had a penis. Jones then got all excited, pull Barr into a Porta-Jon and flashed his old sagging vagina. They've been inseperable ever since.Thank you for ruining my breakfast... :puke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
'SKINSRICH Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 I'm guessing April Fools..... If not, then :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HapHaszard Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 God, even Jerry isn't that hard up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peregrine Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 A match made in heaven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DGreenistheBest Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 The real April Fool's joke is that you would put it past him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMike619 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 WOW!! cant think of a better match. One screws up the National Anthem and the other screwed up the term "America's Team". I hear Osama binLaden is marrying them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebowski Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 This is too far guys. There is no need to drag Roseanne's name through the mud like that. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kvarlo12000 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 all jokes aside she should not be able to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bubba9497 Posted April 1, 2008 Share Posted April 1, 2008 Bucksnort, TN Been there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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