Relationship Advice

[RiggoReincarnated]

Is anybody here willing to give any?

[skinfan2k]

sure what u need lol

[redskins2redskins]

Sure,I'm willing.

I've been given relationship advice off here myself.

So I don't know how much I can help but I can try.

What's the problem?

[IONTOP]

I'm down...

Rule number 1, if she asks you a question and you think it has 2 great answers, DO NOT ANSWER IT IS A TRICK QUESTION!

[redskins2redskins]

Here's some.

Don't fudge the truth too often about little things,because if something big comes up and you do it your toast.

If you ask her what she wants to do as far as going out or whatever and she says that the two of you don't have to do a thing.

Don't believe her,lol. Plan on doing something because she'll feel like crap if you don't. If it happens all the time. In the beginning she may say it and mean it but over time naa.

Put the toilet seat down.

Rinse the sink out when you get thru shaving.

Throw your beer cans away if you drink,lol.

[RiggoReincarnated]

I'm currently in a long term relationship with a woman whos divorced and has 2 young children (not by me). I love her as a person but have never really felt a romantic connection. We were friends and when her ex split I helped her and her kids out and I have been doing so ever since.

Before I got myself into this current relationship I met someone while vacationing in England (about 4 years ago). We hit it off immediately and there was a connection. We've seen each other twice since (she's come here once and I went back there again).

We tried a long distance relationship, but ultimately the distance did us in, and we began dating other people after talking it over with each other. Since then, I've had a pretty much "don't give a ****" attitude when it comes to feeling attached to anyone...alot of my relationships have been shallow. The one I'm in now feels shallow even, I feel like I'm just biding my time and doing things for this woman as a friend...and I feel like she's dependent on me. I feel like I'm more of an older brother to her (shes 26) then I am a partner/lover.

The kicker is this...I found out 2 days ago, Victoria the girl from England is now engaged. I feigned being happy just because I don't want to rain on her parade...but I'm beginning to feel like I blew the chance I had at really meeting the person who was right for me. And hearing she's engaged really bugs me. I was invited to the wedding but I honestly have no desire to go.

So I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever meet the "right" person, or if I'm going to continue to embark on shallow don't give a **** relationships the rest of my life.

[redskins2redskins]

I'll tell you something actually I feel alot like you do.

I'm married to someone who I don't have that attraction for and I don't think he has that attraction for me,not like we should.

And we have problems because of that and other things,big things I might add,relationship breakers.

I've felt like I was biding my time as well.

So I would break it off with this lady if she has an attraction to you that you don't share.

I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out with Victoria.

I know there is someone out there for you,just like there is for me.

I kinda think our problem could be that we're searching too hard for it and won't let it try and find us for a change.

I don't know if you get what I'm saying or not.

Really what do I know? All my relationships have failed for one reason or another,but I'm not giving up. I think love is great.

I wish you luck and don't give up,never give up.

[DeanCollins]

Riggo there's plenty of women out there for you but you need to end this preoccupation with the mom and kids. Until then you'll be unavailable if the "right one" comes along. Sure it's a noble thing you've been doing but life is short, they'll find their way and so will you. The next thing you need to ask yourself and others, is how to get in front of more quality women

[Thirtyfive2seven]

Riggo: take some time to yourself man. It sounds like you're a giver. You've been doing nothing but selflessly giving to another person for so long that you forgot to take care of yourself and maybe that's why you feel like you missed out.

My advice would be to decide what it is that you want with the current relationship. If it's to move on then so be it. Easier said than done. Next step, find a hobby, emerse yourself in work, and do whatever it takes to make you happy again. Once you're there you'll know it. Once you're there you won't really be looking for someone else to complete you but instead you'll find someone else to compliment you. The best times to meet a woman is when you aren't really looking at all.

I'm drinking heavily and I'm tipping my glass to you.

Cheers: May you find what it is you're looking for!

[d0ublestr0ker0ll]

Those who hesitate are lost. A lesson has been learned. This isn't a tragety, you have to move on with your life. Go out and meet people, do things you always wanted to do but haven't. You can even do new things within your current relationship to see if it will make it more fun. There are plenty of women out there that have real good personalities, even if you're unique, you can find someone that makes you weak in the knees. Cheers.

[AsburySkinsFan]

My background: I'm 31, I never dated heavily because I really never saw the point in it in building a series relationships with women just because everyone thought that I "should be dating". The woman who is now my wife began as a co-worker, and I invited her to some activities at my church, over the next two years we grew to be very close friends in fact we were best friends. We married in 1996 and ever since we have been working out our commitment to one another, and now with our two children. There are times when the emotional "love" is high an others when it is not so much, but our relationship was built first on our mutual faith, and our deep friendship with one another and it is this element in our relationship that helps us to enjoy those emtional highs as well as helping us get through the emtional lows, not to mention the mundane.

With that here's my relationship advice for you:

1) Don't make quick decisions.

2) Be truly honest; don't just answer questions the way you think they "should" be answered.

3) Think about what you are looking for in a relationship and what you are willing to give in a relationship.

4) Understand that Love is an emotion and emotions eb and flow.

5) Communicate and be honest with each other, depending on the length of your current relationship this may require greater sensitivity.

6) Understand that the grass is not always greener, all relationships have their ups and downs.

7) Seek the council of trusted friends and family get their honest opinions, be open and let them be honest about what they see. Sadly most observations like these are discussed behind our backs, yet they can also provide some real insight. It is important, however, to seek the trusted voices that surround you.

8) The rest of my advice is more faith oriented, and I won't go into that here. If you want that then just PM me.

[Doggmatic]

Here's my two cents.

I was with someone for many years that I loved, but did not feel a true connection/attraction to. Best-friend-type of connection, but not true romantic-partner-kind of connection, and the truth is, I was too young to really grasp that it was what I needed. It took me 31 years to find someone that I felt that spark with, in the right way, but I have.

After lots of subdued dissatisfaction and depression, I am finally moving on. I don't expect the grass to be greener but I know the key elements are there, unlike before, and that is more than enough to know I am heading in the right direction.

Plus, she is the most wonderful woman I have ever met. Like someone said earlier, she doesn't complete anything, she merely compliments me. She is wonderful and I love her.

So, bottom line is: if you arent happy in that relationship, get out before you decide to get married and complicate things. Marriage is a very serious endevour and should require 100% commitment. Even if you aren' looking to marry her right now, if you know you can't go there with this woman, you should move on.

[NOVA2Tampa]

Communication, of course, but not just the verbal kind. Lots of physical contact is important...and I don't mean just sex. I mean hugging, kissing, snuggling, etc...all the stuff that makes people say "Get a room!" When there is no warmth and physical affection, the relationship is over, dead, done. If you love being in each other's arms, even after many years of marriage, just about anything else can be worked out...

...except for infidelity...if the ***** cheats on you, kick her to the curb! :laugh:

[Doggmatic]

That's a great point too. I learned that the hard way.

[chomerics]

Riggo, here are my 2 cents.

The first thing you need to do is tell the person you are dating now with 2 children that you are not interested in her romantically. Tell her how you feel, but tell her that she is your best friend and would like for you two to remain best friends. It is not fair to her to have you string her along when you realize that you do not want to be with her as husband/wife. She has two children, which I an assume mean the world to you, so stay in their lives as an "uncle" of some sort, if she is a decent person she will allow you to be part of her life.

Now, for yourself, there are PLENTY of women out there, believe me, PLENTY. I got out of a 12.5 year relationship about a year ago, and I have dated a lot of women. I did have a connection with one, it was a girl with a child, but in the end we decided we annoyed the other too much (she's OCD) and it wouldn't work out. Now we are just FWB, which is a nice thing too Since we broke up about a month ago, I've been on dates with 4 different people, and I try to meet a new girl a week until that spark comes along. It will happen again, but you just look for that chemistry in your life, so put yourself out there. You will never find it if you shelter yourself from life, so make sure that you put yourself out there.

Dating is a blast, and the cool thing is you get better at it the more you do it. You learn to find cues and subtle glances that tell you a woman is "into" you. I signed up for an online dating site, and I have been able to meet many women on there. Yes, there are a lot of "players" for the women (but hey so what) yet there are also many women who are looking for a relationship. You can also volunteer at a soup kitchen, a charity or a local homeless shelter, your church if you are religious, you will often meet quality people in those fields.

There is no such thing as a soulmate, it is nothing more then having a connection with someone on a certain level. There will be many people in this world that you have this connection with, but the only way to find out, is to put yourself out there. As for the girl in England, don't think you screwed anything up, you did the right thing. Unless you wanted to talk funny, and have tea and crumpets all day, you made the right choice. Wish her luck, and tell her how happy you are for her. Keep in touch and ask her opinions about women you are dating. Believe me, there is nothing that gets a friend who cares for you more then asking her opinion on other women. You can sign up online and show her profiles of people, and ask for her opinion.

Women are a finicky group, a lot of them want their cake and to eat it too. . .but so do guys in that matter. My advice would be to say HELLO WORLD, here I am, put yourself out there and start to have some fun. Being a single guy in your 30's is great, and you will find there is no shortage of women out there, believe me :D:D

[chomerics]

...except for infidelity...if the ***** cheats on you, kick her to the curb! :laugh:

But. . . if you can convince her to bring another women into the bedroom, I would accept that form of "cheating"

[manicd]

Hit anything you can. Seriously. You'll regret it if you don't. The whole love BS is so over-rated. Maybe you'll want to settle down when you're a lot older, but don't get all into the love thing. Too many hot chicks to have fun with.