Die Hard Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 A 75-year-old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The Dr. gave him a jar, sent him home and told him to bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year-old man returned to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, Doc, it's like this. ... First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor!!??" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all three of us tried, with our arthritis, we still couldn't get the jar open." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
headhunter39 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :whoknows: i dont get it..... jk i always wanted to post that:applause: good joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCollins Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao: :applause: ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkinsOrlando Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Nice one.........................time to share it with the office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 sorry, but i saw the punch line coming from a mile away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
praise_gibbs Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 sorry, but i saw the punch line coming from a mile away Die Hard is in Ontario and you are in Fairfax--A little more than a mile? As for the joke.. That thing was hilarious! :laugh: :laugh: :applause: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgiaredskin Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 :laugh: I was seriously laughing out loud. Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PokerPacker Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 Die Hard is in Ontario and you are in Fairfax--A little more than a mile? As for the joke.. That thing was hilarious! :laugh: :laugh: :applause: i'm a modest person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PresidentClinton07 Posted July 17, 2006 Share Posted July 17, 2006 LMAO!!!!! Great joke. But no need for you to share your personal experience with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again." Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taylor 21 Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 sorry, but i saw the punch line coming from a mile away yeah same here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdowwe Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Great stuff Die Hard....BTW, I thought you had a different avatar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 Great stuff Die Hard....BTW, I thought you had a different avatar I get forwarded a few emails every day.. and pass along the ones that are worthwhile No more special avatar..... the sun has set on my ExtremeSkins career They offered to retire my number.... but we all agreed that would be gay :laugh: It's up to others now to carry the torch and lead the journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visionary Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 A 75-year-old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The Dr. gave him a jar, sent him home and told him to bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75-year-old man returned to the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, Doc, it's like this. ... First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arlene, the lady next door, and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing." The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor!!??" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what all three of us tried, with our arthritis, we still couldn't get the jar open." :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (Although I figured it out halfway through ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visionary Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again." Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?" Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me." LMAO, nice! I knew she was cheating, but I wasn't sure how, good one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gallntfox Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I just didn't find the joke to be all that amusing. Perhaps with the exchange rate it's 10% funnier in Canada. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Die Hard Posted July 18, 2006 Author Share Posted July 18, 2006 I just didn't find the joke to be all that amusing. Most people aren't amused by humor at their own expense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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