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Privacy Invaded


footballhenry

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Heres a blog I put up on myspace:

Recently (Sunday to be exact), I had my privacy violated by someone. With our new found methods of communication(myspace and facebook to be exact), it seems these two mediums have become juggernauts for interaction, writing, personal things, etc. I trusted this person months ago when I gave him my password for some wesbite he needed to get on. I didn't think much of it because I trusted him, as I honestly trust pretty much everyone (perhaps naively?).

Well, unfortunate things happened and I attempt to log on to my facebook and myspace accounts on sunday and I cant. Both passwords had been changed. Heres the thing, I use myspace and facebook for a variety of things. I have many very personal and private conversations, messages, etc. with people. Personal information about myself, private things...things that we would all hold dear to ourselves in our own mind. All of this has been cast out, Ive had a very hard time with this.

I would never dream of invading someones privacy like whats been done to me. Let me tell you, it is one of the worst feelings I have felt....perhaps it has to happen to yourself, for you to be able to fully understand...but it truly leaves a pit of emptiness inside. Since then I have of course changed my passwords and such, but everything I hold dear to myself, things that are personable to me in family, life, religion, etc...This person knows it all now. He knows everything, and I cant get over it. I keep myself drama-free, at least attempt to...I truly attempt to bring a good positive perspective to everything...but this thing. This, I dont know. I dont understand why someone would do this. Time heals all wounds, but having your life ousted like this. I truly dont know how to react. Its affected me mentally and physically, in worse ways though I try to conceal it. Any advice, info, and such would be great.

I figure maybe my fellow ES'ers will have helpful or insightful advice. What would you do in my shoes? etc

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Your best bet is contacting Myspace and have them close the account so that you may start a new one. I hate to be the first one to say it but never ever give away your password to anything, to anyone. That includes your Mom.

There are quite a few evil ****s out there, looks like you've found one, that love to take advantage of peoples good will. Hopefully, this isn't an incredibly painful lesson.

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Well my account itself is fine. Nothing was changed except for the password. But he cant get back in because I changed that of course. Its the fact that my whole life has been opened up to him, we all have things that we keep to ourselves. Or that are personal and private to ourselves, and hes violated mine in a very painful way.

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If I were you, I would continue doing what you normally did. You can't change anything, and you may need to defend future personal attacks from this individual, but you can move on.

Depending on how long it was before you noticed something was wrong, the odds are that not too many people saw it. Those that did, and you consider good friends, will understand what happened and roll with it. The responses you recieve from your blog should be reassuring. It's just a matter of time to see how everything pans out.

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Just curious....are you the one that had the paintball incident? If so, how did that play out?

Case was dropped. They tried to pressure me into getting a lawyer and going with my insurance so they could get someout of it. But I went against everyones advice, well most anyway, and knew I wasn't at fault and they didn't have a case against me (which they didnt). So I was finally dropped from it.

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If I were you, I would continue doing what you normally did. You can't change anything, and you may need to defend future personal attacks from this individual, but you can move on.

Depending on how long it was before you noticed something was wrong, the odds are that not too many people saw it. Those that did, and you consider good friends, will understand what happened and roll with it. The responses you recieve from your blog should be reassuring. It's just a matter of time to see how everything pans out.

Well he didn't do anything to my account per se...but he accessed EVERYTHING. All my personal messages to everyone, received and sent. Personal information i have enclosed in there. Its just a complete invasion of privacy. It never occured to me that someone would stoop to this level. The fact that he sends me an email threatening to ruin my life just makes it that much more mind boggling...I honestly don't understand this. I would never do any of these things hes done to me. As my mom would tell me, Im just learning a lesson about some people and life right now.

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I gave him my password ...

The security guru guy in me has to:

1. You gave someone your password to your diary/messages that if seen will cause you all this grief? And now your upset because they actually used it and looked at your stuff etc... (Trust or not, if you give someone the key to your diary, don't get mad if they read it.)

2. If given a password to a certain thing you HAVE to then go in and change it upon completion of said task to remove access: Kinda like the whole locked doors keep regulary people out: not crooks, if you don't lock it a normal person will be tempted to open it.

But there is also: I am the Admin of Everything: don't get mad if I make changes or see things: But with that comes the fact that I also do not go into finances and look up salaries or go into management folders and look up whatever... Just because I can do something doesnt mean I do.

You gave him the ability and he used it: Your fault.

He overstepped his bounds apparently and went too far: His fault.

Learning experience, walk it off...

Let him know he can't ruin your life with a message/thought on a message board, because anything he says/shows you'd just tell the person/show the person first anyway, there is no blackmail because you have the guts to call any bluff. (if you can)

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Well he didn't do anything to my account per se...but he accessed EVERYTHING. All my personal messages to everyone, received and sent. Personal information i have enclosed in there. Its just a complete invasion of privacy. It never occured to me that someone would stoop to this level. The fact that he sends me an email threatening to ruin my life just makes it that much more mind boggling...I honestly don't understand this. I would never do any of these things hes done to me. As my mom would tell me, Im just learning a lesson about some people and life right now.

Not to be a jerk, but why do you have personal information stored on myspace?? Just a word of advice: don't do that.

Sorry that happened to you...if I were you I'd punch the guy in the face, or at least confront him. That's effed up if he did that. You should definitely confront his ass...

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I gave him my password ...

The security guru guy in me has to:

1. You gave someone your password to your diary/messages that if seen will cause you all this grief? And now your upset because they actually used it and looked at your stuff etc... (Trust or not, if you give someone the key to your diary, don't get mad if they read it.)

2. If given a password to a certain thing you HAVE to then go in and change it upon completion of said task to remove access: Kinda like the whole locked doors keep regulary people out: not crooks, if you don't lock it a normal person will be tempted to open it.

But there is also: I am the Admin of Everything: don't get mad if I make changes or see things: But with that comes the fact that I also do not go into finances and look up salaries or go into management folders and look up whatever... Just because I can do something doesnt mean I do.

You gave him the ability and he used it: Your fault.

He overstepped his bounds apparently and went too far: His fault.

Learning experience, walk it off...

Let him know he can't ruin your life with a message/thought on a message board, because anything he says/shows you'd just tell the person/show the person first anyway, there is no blackmail because you have the guts to call any bluff. (if you can)

Well I use that one password for everything, so I didn't give it to him for my myspace and facebook obviously. It was for some other site, and I just didn't think of it at the time u know? Obviously in retrospect I wish I would have been more careful but I trusted him and it seriously never crossed my mind that he would use it to get into my other accounts. Furthermore this was while ago (that I gave him my password), he typed it in as I told him. So I didnt think hed remember or write it down. Which obviously he did one of those two things. But yes, I totally agree. It is my fault to an extent, I shouldn't be so naive or so trusting. A hard lesson in life, thats for sure.

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Not to be a jerk, but why do you have personal information stored on myspace?? Just a word of advice: don't do that.

Sorry that happened to you...if I were you I'd punch the guy in the face, or at least confront him. That's effed up if he did that. You should definitely confront his ass...

not public...private...you know, private conversations, info, messages, etc...same with facebook. Only I had access to it, and I certainly didn't foresee anything like this happening.

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I gave him my password ...

The security guru guy in me has to:

1. You gave someone your password to your diary/messages that if seen will cause you all this grief? And now your upset because they actually used it and looked at your stuff etc... (Trust or not, if you give someone the key to your diary, don't get mad if they read it.)

2. If given a password to a certain thing you HAVE to then go in and change it upon completion of said task to remove access: Kinda like the whole locked doors keep regulary people out: not crooks, if you don't lock it a normal person will be tempted to open it.

But there is also: I am the Admin of Everything: don't get mad if I make changes or see things: But with that comes the fact that I also do not go into finances and look up salaries or go into management folders and look up whatever... Just because I can do something doesnt mean I do.

You gave him the ability and he used it: Your fault.

He overstepped his bounds apparently and went too far: His fault.

Learning experience, walk it off...

Let him know he can't ruin your life with a message/thought on a message board, because anything he says/shows you'd just tell the person/show the person first anyway, there is no blackmail because you have the guts to call any bluff. (if you can)

Doesnt get any clearer than that....point blank. :2cents:

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henry, you're a drama queen. ;) j/k

i would definitely approach this person. what he did was very wrong, but let it be 2 lessons learned for you.

1. you shouldn't have the same password for everything.

2. trust NO ONE w/ your password.

Good advice here and from Thiebear concerning your password and such. I am sorry that your friend betrayed you, but don't put personal information on a public website and expect it to be secure. It is like lending money. Never lend money to someone unless you can afford to lose the money. Always guard your personal information. That includes DOB, SSN, ect, but it also includes personal information about yourself. People can figure out who you are from your personal information even if they don't have say your DOB or SSN. Do you think Fred Jones is my real name.

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Good advice here and from Thiebear concerning your password and such. I am sorry that your friend betrayed you, but don't put personal information on a public website and expect it to be secure. It is like lending money. Never lend money to someone unless you can afford to lose the money. Always guard your personal information. That includes DOB, SSN, ect, but it also includes personal information about yourself. People can figure out who you are from your personal information even if they don't have say your DOB or SSN. Do you think Fred Jones is my real name.

True, thanks guys for all the advice and such. But again this wasn't public stuff, this was private. Stuff that only I had access to, but still I understand what you mean. As for beating him down? Im more than capable of that, and I do wish he could pay for this somehow someway, but Im afraid it would just escalate everything more than it already is. I hate this stuff.

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True, thanks guys for all the advice and such. But again this wasn't public stuff, this was private. Stuff that only I had access to, but still I understand what you mean. As for beating him down? Im more than capable of that, and I do wish he could pay for this somehow someway, but Im afraid it would just escalate everything more than it already is. I hate this stuff.

Just remember, what goes around comes around. One day, down the road, in the weeks/months and sometimes years to come this person will receive what he dished out. The easiest thing to do is just move on, remove this person from your life, and enjoy the rest of the day.

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Few general things:

1 - Do not have the same password for everything. I know people need to remember passwords but if you sit down and work out a system that's easy for you to remember what differences the differences are working from a common theme.

2 - Never give anyone a password to anything. If you do I've found it helpful to update said password FIRST so the one the person uses has absolutely nothing to do with any of my other ones. For example change the password you plan on giving someone to "Temp4u"

3 - Never document anything electronically that would harm you greatly if someone were to gain access, especially on websites running off servers you don't own and control. Even if you don't give your password to someone they can experience a security problem and your info can be accessed.

Henry: What are we talking about here? Did you do or admit to something illegal/immoral or are we just talking about general private information that you feel uncomfortable being out there. If you can be really harmed with the info I suggest you contact a lawyer and go on the offensive. The guy gained access illegally and threatened you with it, that has to break at least a few laws.

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So...I just tried to log-in to myspace, and I got the message "This profile has been locked due to 15 failed log-in attempts." (even though I have the login stored in mozilla, and never have to type my password and never once had a failed attempt). I tried one more time, and got in.

Anyway, just throwing this out there because it might have been a myspace glitch instead of your boy effing with you...:whoknows: Myspace has been having a lot of problems lately...

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True, thanks guys for all the advice and such. But again this wasn't public stuff, this was private. Stuff that only I had access to, but still I understand what you mean. As for beating him down? Im more than capable of that, and I do wish he could pay for this somehow someway, but Im afraid it would just escalate everything more than it already is. I hate this stuff.

If it's on a public website that administrators other than yourself manage it's not private at all. Like sending a PM on this board. It's not really private. :2cents:

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